Miriam has been doing home MTC for the past week. She set up a computer in her room to do missionary training classes and would come out briefly at lunch, go back in, then finish her classes around 5:30 in the evening. For the first few days, I became very concerned about her. It felt like every time I saw her, she was crying. Her eyes were red and swollen and when Joseph or I would try and talk to her, she'd just break down. It wasn't like her at all.
She said the house felt strange ever since she was set apart. She felt she was doing something wrong if she wasn't in her room. She was afraid to listen to any kind of music because she didn't want to go against mission rules. If we were watching a football game in the living room or any other entertainment, she felt like she couldn't come out or be with us. Joseph and I told her several times that she was interpreting her mission rules way to ridgedly, that she needed to relax and just join us if her classes were over. She said she was having a hard time relaxing because she couldn't recognize what was the Spirit prompting her and what wasn't.
I went into work Thursday morning with all of this on my mind. My co-worker, Karl, is currently serving as a bishop of his ward. Karl told me how his oldest son started to manifest severe anxiety and depression on his mission and had to come home early from it. He told me it was so embarrassing for his son that he eventually left the church. Needless to say, this news did not help ease my concerns for Miriam. Although, I appreciated his story in case I ever face something similar. I pray to God it won't happen to any of my kids but I'm glad I have Karl as my friend who understands if it ever does.
My other co-worker, Mike, stopped by my desk to ask how Miriam's first week was going. Mike is a very hard worker, a true pillar of strength in every aspect. He has strong faith and a deep optimistic and calming nature about him. He listened to my concerns about Miriam and then expressed his faith that things would work out fine and that he'd keep her in his prayers. I felt much more peace after that. I called Joseph and told him we should set an appointment up for Miriam to meet with the Stake President Packer since he is her official mission president while she's in the home MTC.
Miriam met with President Packer that evening. When the visit was over, a visible weight was lifted off of her shoulders. I thanked President and he smiled confidently, "You have nothing to worry about with Miriam. She is going to be just fine. I'm so glad you called me." I put my arms around Miriam. She heaved a sigh as we hugged. We walked back to the car and I asked how the visit went:
She said, "He told me that most missionaries he meets with have obedience issues and that I was just the opposite. He said you and Dad are right, that I'm being too uptight, that I need to relax and not worry so much. In fact, he not only encouraged me to listen to the music I love, he commanded me too." She laughed. It was good to see her laugh. I was absolutely relieved to see her so much happier. This was more like the Miriam I know.
The next morning, on my way to the gym, I listened to the song Getting Started by, Jeremy Camp. I thought of Miriam. She is just getting started in the good times and difficult times. It's only the beginning of her struggles but it's also the beginning of many beautiful life-changing miracles, of opportunities for spiritual growth, to build her faith in God and rely more heavily on Christ. It's the start of life -really.
At work on Friday, I listened to the Jordan B. Peterson podcast for several hours. This particular one focused on choosing to make beauty out of awful circumstances, to choose to create good and light out of the chaos of our struggles. Jordan Peterson is so good with the way he explains things and it was the perfect follow-up for me after such a rough week.
Miriam flies to Brazil on Jan. 30th. I'm so thrilled for her to have this new faith-building adventure in her life. She'll be amazing!!
Micah plans to leave this summer on his mission too. So, Miriam and Micah will overlap for a time. Double blessings!! I couldn't be happier for them.
No comments:
Post a Comment