My husband met him in 2008, they were both studying physics and astronomy. They started studying together to help each other out with homework and exams, instantly becoming great friends. It was a big deal because Joseph doesn't usually have close friendships with anyone, well he hadn't up until Ryan. Joseph is a family guy, he keeps his relationships strong with his siblings and doesn't usually venture out from there because he's a little shy and a little introverted.
But somehow Ryan was like a brother to Joseph. Many late-night studying sessions on campus would often end in wonderful and enlightening spiritual discussions. I remember Joseph often coming home around 11pm, crawling into bed, and telling me all about school and his friend.
I was so glad Joseph had someone there on campus to make the hours fly by a little more easily. I'd take the children up to the science building a couple times a week so they could visit dad. It was often the only time they got to see him besides Sunday. They'd giggle with excitement all the way down the hall as they approached the office Joseph did his studies in. Ryan was always there with Joseph and the kids began to call him, "Uncle Ryan".
They did a science presentation in Puerto Rico together. He came to Joseph's graduation and Joseph went to his. Our whole family went to Ryan's wedding ceremony at the Timpanogos Temple and Joseph stood in the circle for their first child's baby blessing. Ryan came to almost all our kid's baptisms too.
He moved away a couple years ago and changed his major to psychology. Ryan and Joseph were like brothers so they maintained close contact across the miles through email several times a week. I don't know exactly when the shift happened but Joseph started noticing a change of tone in Ryan's messages. When Joseph would share a quote from a recent conference address or from the scriptures, instead of being affirmed through Ryan's testimony, the responses were less supportive, debating the validity of Joseph's spiritual thoughts because they weren't from more "enlightened philosophers".
His criticism of the prophets increased and his church attendance decreased. Their emails to each other slowed to about once a month. After about a year of this decline, Ryan finally told Joseph all together, that he and his wife had left the Church, to explore a new freedom, new thoughts, and new ideas among the swells of moral relativism. At the end of this last message to Joseph a couple weeks ago, he said, "thanks for not trying to save me" as if Ryan wanted to make absolutely certain that Joseph understood he doesn't want him to ever try to save him.
It's been hard to watch Joseph go through this. Even though Joseph is not an emotional guy and does a pretty good job keeping his true feelings beneath the surface, I can tell he has been experiencing a very real loss. This has been horribly painful for him. To lose a friend spiritually feels more grievous than lossing one to physically to natural causes.
I've been very proud of Joseph though and have been impressed with his stamina. He has held strong to a pattern of regular, daily morning prayer and thorough scripture study. He spends at least a half-an-hour or more every single day studying the gospel through living and ancient prophets, he journals extensively too, and could publish volumes upon volumes alone of his scripture study thoughts. He's a great example to me. I know this habit has kept Joseph from being swept away by his friend and has kept Joseph anchored to "the good ship Zion". I thank God that Joseph has remained true to his covenants in the middle of this storm.
I am also proud of Joseph for continuing to be kind to Ryan. He has left the invitation open to still be there for his friend. Who knows if he'll ever return?
-Alicia
P.S.
Here's some great articles about the dangers of Moral Relativism.
https://www.lds.org/search?lang=eng&query=%22moral+relativism%22
"We live in a day when the age-old standards of morality, marriage, home, and family suffer defeat after defeat in courts and councils, in parliaments and classrooms. Our happiness depends upon living those very standards....... Paul told young Timothy to continue in the things he had learned from the Apostles and said he would be safe because 'from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus' (2 Tim. 3:15)"
I was so glad Joseph had someone there on campus to make the hours fly by a little more easily. I'd take the children up to the science building a couple times a week so they could visit dad. It was often the only time they got to see him besides Sunday. They'd giggle with excitement all the way down the hall as they approached the office Joseph did his studies in. Ryan was always there with Joseph and the kids began to call him, "Uncle Ryan".
They did a science presentation in Puerto Rico together. He came to Joseph's graduation and Joseph went to his. Our whole family went to Ryan's wedding ceremony at the Timpanogos Temple and Joseph stood in the circle for their first child's baby blessing. Ryan came to almost all our kid's baptisms too.
He moved away a couple years ago and changed his major to psychology. Ryan and Joseph were like brothers so they maintained close contact across the miles through email several times a week. I don't know exactly when the shift happened but Joseph started noticing a change of tone in Ryan's messages. When Joseph would share a quote from a recent conference address or from the scriptures, instead of being affirmed through Ryan's testimony, the responses were less supportive, debating the validity of Joseph's spiritual thoughts because they weren't from more "enlightened philosophers".
His criticism of the prophets increased and his church attendance decreased. Their emails to each other slowed to about once a month. After about a year of this decline, Ryan finally told Joseph all together, that he and his wife had left the Church, to explore a new freedom, new thoughts, and new ideas among the swells of moral relativism. At the end of this last message to Joseph a couple weeks ago, he said, "thanks for not trying to save me" as if Ryan wanted to make absolutely certain that Joseph understood he doesn't want him to ever try to save him.
It's been hard to watch Joseph go through this. Even though Joseph is not an emotional guy and does a pretty good job keeping his true feelings beneath the surface, I can tell he has been experiencing a very real loss. This has been horribly painful for him. To lose a friend spiritually feels more grievous than lossing one to physically to natural causes.
I've been very proud of Joseph though and have been impressed with his stamina. He has held strong to a pattern of regular, daily morning prayer and thorough scripture study. He spends at least a half-an-hour or more every single day studying the gospel through living and ancient prophets, he journals extensively too, and could publish volumes upon volumes alone of his scripture study thoughts. He's a great example to me. I know this habit has kept Joseph from being swept away by his friend and has kept Joseph anchored to "the good ship Zion". I thank God that Joseph has remained true to his covenants in the middle of this storm.
I am also proud of Joseph for continuing to be kind to Ryan. He has left the invitation open to still be there for his friend. Who knows if he'll ever return?
-Alicia
P.S.
Here's some great articles about the dangers of Moral Relativism.
https://www.lds.org/search?lang=eng&query=%22moral+relativism%22
"We live in a day when the age-old standards of morality, marriage, home, and family suffer defeat after defeat in courts and councils, in parliaments and classrooms. Our happiness depends upon living those very standards....... Paul told young Timothy to continue in the things he had learned from the Apostles and said he would be safe because 'from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus' (2 Tim. 3:15)"
- Boyd K. Packer
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