Faith-Filled Fathers

I've been thinking about parenthood and how much we pour our hearts out in prayer for our children. There is nothing more difficult and heart-wrenching as a parent than to see one or more of your children willingly choose a destructive path. I ache and worry so much for our oldest son. When he was five years old, he was diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism, Oppositional Defiance, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And, ever since he was really young, he has struggled with being very empathetic with others.

I tried to avoid those labels, I didn't want him to grow up thinking he had a handicap because I believe that many difficult aspects of his personality also make up some of his most amazing gifts and talents. He is so incredibly smart! In all the testing they did on him as a child, they discovered he has a photographic memory and his IQ is way above average. I chose to not medicate him because I didn't want to change anything about his personality. He may have his challenges but who doesn't?!

The challenges that came with him were just ones I wasn't familiar with and it didn't seem as if many other parents were familiar with it either. When he would act up at church or in a social setting, I would often have well-meaning friends freely dispense their parenting advice to me. They didn't know my situation or how much I had already tried. I had exhausted every idea. Every situation is so unique and parental advice is rarely, if ever, one-size-fits-all.

This morning, Joseph and I were talking and sharing concerns about our son as we often do. Through the years, he has improved in so many aspects. It has been miraculous to watch! He has many great qualities we love so dearly but we're concerned once again about his ability to empathize, to show genuine interest and concern for other people. We really don't know how much of his behavior is "willingly choosing" to lack empathy or if it is related more to the high-functioning autism he has been diagnosed with all his life. Either way, it will inevitably present relationship issues in the most vital areas of his life.

Joseph has been studying the power of revelation and faith. (He is a wonderful, righteous father, who is always striving to set a good example. I love him so much for that!) In Joseph's personal scripture study in Alma Chapter 12, he noticed several "awakening moments" in the lives of Alma, Amulek, and Zeezrom. Each of them had experiences where their eyes were opened and their minds were enlightened. He expressed the desire to pray for this blessing with our children, to have the faith that God can create a miracle as we claim a blessing from Him. God can open their eyes as we call down the powers of heaven on behalf of and especially for our oldest son. After kneeling together in prayer this morning, Joseph looked at me and asked, "Do we have the faith to let go and allow him to have his experiences, to make his choices, even if it is terribly painful to watch?" He sighed and tears filled my eyes.

I turned to my scriptures and read, "Assuredly as the Lord liveth, who is your God and your Redeemer, even so surely shall you receive a knowledge of whatsoever things you shall ask in faith with an honest heart... Remember that without faith you can do nothing; therefore ask in faith." - D&C 8: 1&10.  The great miracles that happened with Moses proved the impossible, the unthinkable could occur through simple faith. That's the kind we're praying for.

We pray for our son, for all our children, for the youth everywhere. This world is so hard for them to navigate, so much more difficult than we ever had to face. The adversary is far more invasive and persuasive than in any generation before. We pray that our faith will remain anchored and strong through every test, through every storm. And no matter what choices our children make or how much they end up following our counsel in life, I'm glad I have the faith-filled companion that I do, who honors his Priesthood, who treasures his fatherhood, and genuinely and sincerely loves God.

-Alicia