This past winter semester, I only took a religion class. I wanted a lighter schedule because I just didn't know what our family dynamics would look like with Foster Care. We started out the year with a little boy in crisis placement with us who had some strong needs for undivided attention. It wasn't easy on our foster daughter. We knew this little boy was temporary because we were just the crisis placement, the in-between, until the State found a permanent home for him. Anyway, things were a little tricky in January, so I just kept a religion class. It was the best religion class though, "Pioneers and Persecution" by Brother Dirkmaat.I absolutely love Brother Dirkmaat, I've previously taken his Doctrine and Covenants class. He is my favorite religion teacher at BYU. He wrote an awesome book entitled, "From Darkness Unto Light".
For our Final Project, he gave the class the option of creating a piece of artwork, instead of writing a paper, representing the lessons we learned throughout the semester. I chose an art project! And as I explained my art... it turned into a final paper anyway, so I guess I did both. It was so healing for me though. I was taking Brother Dirkmaat's class during the same part of my life when I lost my mom in March. This class and this art project helped pull me through.
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"Why do we fall?.... So we can learn to pick ourselves back up" - Alfred (From the movie, Batman Begins). It may seem cheesy to use a quote from Batman as a way to begin my religious paper but honestly, over the course of this project, this quote has come to my mind numerous times, especially and mostly the first part; "Why do we fall?"
As I studied the history of the early saints this semester, their sacrifices, their struggles, their heartaches and stories of endless persecution... as I read how they were hated, driven from their homes, murdered, forced out of the country, beaten down, over and over again, I found myself asking a lot of "why" questions; Why do good people suffer? Why does God allow certain things to happen in this life? Why do the wicked so often go unpunished? Why do the righteous prayers of so many seemingly go unanswered? Why do we even pray if it there's is no guarantee for protection from God's Divine hand?
For answers, I have felt drawn to the revelation in Doctrine and Covenants 121-123, given to Joseph Smith while he was unjustly imprisoned in Liberty Jail. In the dark bleak cell of those cold unfriendly walls, Joseph prayed and pleaded with God for some kind of rescue, some kind of protection for the saints, a pavilion in the midst of a thrashing storm. It was there - in probably one of the most loathsome, brutal, and hellish trials of his life - he received one of the most beautiful, redemptive, and inspiring revelations ever to be written in history.
My focus for this project are words found in D&C 122:7-9, reaching deeper into the answer of "why" we fall. In perhaps Joseph Smith's darkest hour, after pouring out his whole soul to God, Joseph felt the Spirit of the Lord speak peace to his mind and heart, "Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than He? Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever."
These words no doubt, were echoed in the meeting halls and sacred walls among the early saints - especially after Joseph's murder, after the Mormons were driven in the middle of winter with no shelter, across icy rivers and mountains of snow, scattered across barren hostile lands, and stripped of every right and privilege promised under the banner of freedom in this Country.
Creation Process
When I started this painting, I began with the idea of portraying a man bowing his head in earnest prayer while the dichotomies of life swirled around him; heaven and hell, light and dark, somehow illustrating the hardships we face in mortality, the imperfections, the temptations and weaknesses of the flesh, our sins, the sins of others, the heartaches, the persecution, the deep sorrow, loss and pain we experience - but also - the joy, the hope, the light, the good in ourselves and in others, the peace, and the comfort that come through knowing our Savior.
I spent quite a bit of time searching the internet for images to give me ideas to help illustrate my message, trying to visualize how I would compose my project. After gathering and printing, I started sketching everything out onto the canvas, choosing the colors and images to symbolize a collage of opposites; death and redemption, joy and pain, dark ashes, blazing fire, thistles, and thorns - and then - sunlight, blue skies, green trees and flowers.
I had everything laid out, I knew exactly what I was doing - the canvas, paints, brushes, images I had collected were scattered across my kitchen counter - I was ready to complete my project... but then I had a tragedy in my family which brought my life to a halt. I lost my mom unexpectedly and as a result, my whole world was turned completely upside-down. Needless to say, during that week, my project was put on hold until I could get my bearings again.
Starting Over
After spending several days at the hospital and at my dad's house, I finally returned to my own home. I found myself next to my kitchen counter, looking over my project (untouched in my absence). I stood there lost in thought about my recent experience. I stared down at my scattered work as the message I was trying to portray lapsed over memories of my mom. I knew in that moment I had complicated the painting. The images were too busy, clashing in colors, I almost felt it looked ugly. I wasn't discouraged by these thoughts and I don't think it was grief that caused me to see my painting differently. In fact, when I made the decision to start my project completely over, I felt an immense amount of peace.
New ideas poured into my mind like refreshing rain in a thirsty land. I wanted to find a way to still create deep meaning in my painting and yet have it be more simple on the eyes, more pleasing, something anyone could hang on their wall.
The question came into my mind again, "Why do we fall?" I thought of The Garden of Eden and the fall of man. I thought of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the conscious choice Adam and Eve made to enter this mortal life, knowing their eyes would be opened to the opposites of this world, that in the midst of their joys they'd be exposed to pains of the flesh, sicknesses, heartache, sin, sorrow, tragedy, hunger, fatigue, and even death.After they fell, they learned of salvation; They learned that all these things would give them experience and be for their good. They were given a vision of hope found in the Savior, the Tree of Life, and the only means whereby they could return to the Father. They rejoiced when they learned that death was not the end, that all their suffering had purpose and meaning, that there was redemption through Jesus Christ - the greatest story ever to be known through time, through all the generations of Adam and Eve on this earth.
The Symbolism
This oil-based 11X15 painting is entitled, "Hold On Thy Way". The background is made by scanning and printing Section 122 from the Doctrine and Covenants and then piecing, gluing and covering the foundation of the canvas completely with scripture, then priming the top surface of the pages with a clear gloss in preparation for the next step.
Painted over the words are two trees; the one on the left is symbolic of The Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden (the tree of the fall) and the one on the right is symbolic of The Tree of Life (the tree of hope through Jesus Christ our Savior). With the scripture in mind from Isaiah 1:18, "Though your sins be as scarlet, They shall be as white as snow." I used a scarlet for the red and a titanium for the white (the whitest of all artist paints).The trees point heavenward to keep our gaze looking up toward God, remembering always that He has a plan for us. Pointing high above the realms of this earth, they remind us to call upon Him daily, to converse with Him, commune with him about our joys and sorrows, to plead for forgiveness and trust in His atonement.
The trees grow together as their fruits nearly intertwine - to remind us that we need both to understand the character of God. We need both to expand our vision. To progress. Our mortal and spirit beings are interwoven, inseparable during this journey here on earth.
Some of the white fruit from the Tree of Life, I've purposefully highlighted words from the scriptures in the background: "Son of Man - Trust in God - Holy Ghost; spiritual - Trust - Hold on thy way - Truth - Mission".
Finally, these two trees from the Garden of Eden also pay tribute to the many Temples around the world, which blessings we as Latter-Day-Saints enjoy from the truths Joseph Smith restored. Such blessings are open to all who will receive them, even those who have never had the opportunity to learn of Christ while on this earth - we perform ordinances for our kindred dead and are sealed together as families through eternity.
In these holy and sacred walls of the Temple, we learn about the creation of the earth, the fall of man, and God's plan of Salvation through our Savior Jesus Christ. Temples are where we covenant to remain true to the commandments of God, true to our Savior, trusting in His blessings, centering our lives on Christ, knowing that He redeems us from sin and death, He will carry us through this mortal life no matter the hardship, no matter the opposition, no matter the heartache as we place our trust in Him. "All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than He? Therefore, hold on thy way" - D&C 122:8-9
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