We had the usual 6am video chat on Messenger with Miriam this morning. This one tugged pretty hard on my heart because Miriam broke down in tears when we asked if she was doing alright. We could tell she was holding them back until our question gave her full permission to let it out. The flood-gates were opened. I can't explain how hard it is to see your child hurting and know they are on the other side of the planet, so far from your reach. I wanted to stretch my arms through the screen and hug her.
She recalled an analogy the MTC president shared with all the missionaries before they left into the field. He said something to the effect that going on a mission is like walking through rows and rows of rose bushes full of thorns. It is very painful. But when you get to the other side and look back, all you will see are the beautiful roses.
I asked how the counseling was going. Her reply was a reference to the following video which made me laugh. Everything the counselor tells her, she said she already knows the answer...she knows it takes time...she knows it will all work out.... it's just hard.
She said, "You guys remember the plaque you gave me the year I entered Young Women's and the scripture you chose for me??? You know I always hated that you chose that scripture.... It bothered me." "Well, guess what.... it keeps coming back to my mind!!", she said with irritation in her voice.
"I know why you chose it now."
We all laughed. "That's good. And we KNEW why we chose it THEN! Because, we saw a young lady at 12 years old who had incredible potential but very little patience with set-backs and the time it takes to truly grow. That's why we had a tree put on that plaque too. Because, you don't see growth like that in a beautiful tree overnight."
Miriam had other messages of encouragement come to her this past week...
At the Zone Conference President and Sister Card approached Miriam and asked how she was doing. She tried to hold the tears back the same way she did with us and President Card wasn't buying it:
"I'm okay," she shrugged.
"I don't believe you" he responded. "Let's visit for a minute."
President Card kindly invited his wife to join him and Miriam where they could sit and share those things that were bothering her.
Miriam told them that the biggest issue is the language - she feels embarrassed in lessons and visiting members where she hears everything they're saying but nothing is sinking in. It makes her feel incredibly lonely and out-of-place. President Card shared some of his own experiences of discouragement from his mission.
They visited for a while longer when a Brazilian sister missionary, Sister Brito, was walking down the hall passing the meeting room Miriam was in. Sister Brito saw Miriam crying through the window and made a heart shape with her hands, pressing them against the glass. Miriam looked up and made eye contact with the sister, saw the heart, and tried her best to force a smile. Then Sister Brito dropped her books and rushed to Miriam to hug her. (Sister Brito is just a month or so away from finishing her mission and felt an immense amount of compassion.) She looked at Miriam lovingly, "When I see you, Sister Rawlins, I see myself when I first started. You're going to be okay!" Then she took a picture with the two of them, complete with the tears still streaming down Miriam's face.
I'm so grateful for President and Sister Card. And I'm so grateful for Sister Brito... for being my arms that day to give my girl some comfort.💞
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| We did a companionship split with two other sisters. Sister Sobrinho joined sister Casperson and I |
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We had 8 different people tell us they would come to sacrament meeting on Sunday, and none of them came  |
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| We had zone conference, and President Card got us hyped for Easter |
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| We participated in a little party for Elder Vera in the ward who's leaving for a mission in April |
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