On My Heart

Tonight, it was an old day planner. I don't know why I even have it. It was my mom's from two years ago. Other times, it might be something like a song, a dinner she used to make, or a piece of her old jewelry in my little girl's dress-up tote, simple things that stir up memories of her, and make me miss her.

It's still sometimes completely unreal to me, the fact that I won't ever see her again in my mortal life, that our next reunion won't be until heaven. It seems so far. On the 12th, it will be exactly seven months since she passed away. It blows my mind how fast these months have flown by. So much has happened.

Sometimes, like tonight when I'm alone in bed, I just lay there and talk quietly to the ceiling above me, imagining her in my room. I always think it's interesting that the things I say to her sound so much like my prayers to my Father in Heaven. I'm sure she hears me just like He does. I don't know how but I just feel that she does.

Writing this out has helped, even if I really didn't say much. I have a great deal on my heart. I'm not sad. I just miss her and wish I would have told her more how amazing she was. She was one of the purest souls to ever live, who genuinely loved others with a sincere Christlike love. I'm so grateful for her!

I love you mom!