I Need a Revival!

It's been one of those days where I feel like I've really had to struggle to fight off negative thoughts about myself.  I can't quite put my finger on where it started but it grew increasingly worse when I was studying in my textbook for Writing and Rhetoric about ethos (who we are to our audiences).  Don't get me wrong, It's a wonderful chapter, extremely insightful but maybe reading about how "my audiences" might perceive me gave me a little stage fright?  Reading how to "look smart, be smart" and "show balance" reminds me that I'm not very graceful and...well, I feel like this apple falls pretty far from the tree.  So many times when I talk to other adults, even young adults, I feel incredibly inferior in my vocabulary, my wit, my sense of humor, my knowledge of current events, you name it... so inferior that when it comes to conversation, I freeze-up.  On the other hand, there are times I get so nervous that I end up talking too much to avoid an awkward silence and end up boring "my audiences" or shoving my foot in my mouth somehow.  This "tight-rope walking" doesn't happen every day... just on the ones where I seem to keep straining at all my idiosyncrasies.

Other worries began to plague my mind too...  one thought after another about the job I'm doing teaching my children how to handle their own life skills (you know- good communication, good study habits, hard work ethic, being spiritually motivated, choosing good friends, and their own "ethos")

When my husband returned home from work, he greeted me thoughtfully and asked how things were going.  I sighed and laid my head on his chest, "I'm feeling really lame.  I need to re-center somehow."  Understandingly, he sweetly offered to let me be alone in the bedroom to pray.  After a moment, I requested that I make a quick Temple visit.  I promised I'd make it back in time to watch a concert we had planned to go to as a family.  (The Lower Lights  -blue grass gospel)  

I think the combination of both the Temple and the concert was just what the Dr. ordered because I feel great now.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I'm a sucker for blue grass gospel.  I've loved it ever since I can remember! (Maybe it's the southern girl in my blood?)  A few old gospel hymns, a little bit of clapping and toe tapping, along with shouts of "hallelujah" and "amen" is guaranteed to lift my spirit anytime!  

My favorites tonight were: This Little Light of Mine, Down to the River to Pray, Calling You, I Need Thee Every Hour, Brightly Beams, and I'll Fly Away 

I'm so thankful for tonight.  I just needed a revival!

-Alicia