When God Takes You Home

My younger brother shared this with me today. Of course, it made me cry. 

During those five agonizing days with mom in the ICU, with her completely unresponsive, and connected to all those tubes and machines -- I wished for something, anything I could do to help her. I went to the store and bought her some flowers to brighten up her room (but the ICU had strict rules against  flowers so I had to leave them in the waiting area). The second day at my dad's house, I did the laundry and cleaned the kitchen. I noticed my mom had left her tea cup out. I smiled at the memory it brought to mind - she and I used to always drink mint herbal tea together.  I gently put her cup back up on the shelf. It was hard to see the little items and things she left out of place not knowing she wouldn't return. 

I've listened to this song several times today and have cried each time. The artist lost his mom and he sings about Supermarket flowers and tea, about folding his mother's clothes, and putting her chairs away.  It's still so hard for me to believe that my mom is gone (at least from this mortal earth. I know her spirit lives on.) 

Her death happened so suddenly, completely without warning. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. The past few mornings I've woken up feeling like there's a massive gaping hole in my heart. It hurts so much! But I know she's in a good place, a beautiful, glorious place.. I know she's with God. 

"So I'll sing Hallelujah

You were an angel in the shape of my mom

When I fell down you'd be there holding me up

Spread your wings as you go

And when God takes you back we'll say Hallelujah

You're home"

-Alicia

Humility, Obedience, Virtue

We had a really great Region Conference this last Sunday. Elder Gary Stevenson spoke on three Christ-like attributes to practice every day: Humility, Obedience, and Virtue. I love how he defined virtue - that our private actions and conversations are in line with what we profess to believe in public in our churches.

I found his same HOV pattern in my scriptures this week where Alma counsels us, "to never be weary of good works, but to be meek and lowly in heart; for such shall find rest to their souls.... learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God. Yea cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and withersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever." - Alma 37:34-36

I absolutely love it when I hear counsel from modern day prophets and apostles and soon after find something in my scripture study that coincides perfectly with what they just said. It happens all the time!

Just thinking about verse 36 of Alma where he admonishes that all our thoughts and affections be directed to the Lord, reminded me of this cool song, "I Point to You".
Enjoy!!

-Alicia


"I Point To You"
by, We Are Messengers

How can I forgive when I can't forgive myself
How can I move on when all I have is regrets
How can I fix you when I keep turning away
How can I make it past the noise with my shame

I need a miracle
Some healing for my heart
I need a revelation
A brand new start
I want simplicity
Where I can rest
But I need a miracle to put my past to death

I know You want my heart
My bruises and my scars
I'm coming as I am
The only way I can
I can't forget from where I've come
And what my heart's been rescued from
Yeah when they ask me who
I owe my whole life to
I point to You
I point to You

I want so badly just to finally get well
But I don't want a quick fix and emotional sell
I will be honest with my humanity
No I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be

I need a miracle
Some healing for my heart
I need a revelation
A brand new start
I want simplicity
Where I can rest
But I need a miracle to put my past to death

I know You want my heart
My bruises and my scars
I'm coming as I am
The only way I can
I can't forget from where I've come
And what my heart's been rescued from
Yeah when they ask me who
I owe my whole life to
I point to You
I point to You

People say that I've lost myself
I'll say I'm found in You
People ask where does my story end
I'll say it starts with You

I know You want my heart
My bruises and my scars
I'm coming as I am
I know You want my heart
My bruises and my scars
I'm coming as I am
The only way I can
I can't forget from where I've come
And what my heart's been rescued from
Yeah when they ask me who
I owe my whole life to
I point to You
I point to You
I point to You
I point to You

Featuring...

We enjoyed a fun concert at the Velour to hear my nephew, Bryson, play. He did great!! He sounded and looked a little like a clean-cut Ed Sheeran as he sang one of my favorites, "Thinking Out Loud" . The rest of Bryson's songs were original ones that he wrote. I was impressed.

Currently, Bryson is collaborating with Chandler on a song. It will be Electronic Dance mixed with Bryson's vocals.  Chandler is going for a sound sort of like  Black Rose by, Blasterjaxx  featuring Jonathan Mendelsohn. (1:17 is where the vocal feature comes in with the electronic music) I think Chandler and Bryson could totally pull off a sound like this. I can't wait to hear how it turns out! I'll post a link when they're finished.

Strength, Song, and Salvation

There's so much going on right now you'd think I wouldn't have any trouble coming up with something to write but I am. We're waiting still to have a couple more tests done on Kaylee to find out if she's going to be okay. We had a big scare with her earlier this week where the doctors think she may have had a few small seizures. Whether they were seizures or not, her white blood cell count is really high and they're trying to make sure that's not anything too serious. She's scheduled for a neuroscan on Monday. I'm hopeful that she'll be just fine but I'm still a little scared that I could be wrong.

In the Book of Mormon reading today, I read one of my most favorite verses from the Isaiah chapters: "God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation." - 2 Nephi 22:2 and Isaiah 12:2

I'm grateful for the scriptures.
-Alicia

God Speaks

I was reading through some old notes I jotted down by Henry Drummond from a book of his I read close to three years ago. I came across this quote that I liked and wanted to share it,

 "God often speaks to men's souls through music; 

He also speaks to us through art." 

- Henry Drummond

I smiled as I read this.
Maybe that's why I like the language so much - music and art.
God often speaks to my soul this way.

-Alicia :)

The Sound of Music

Eight months ago, all my kids started taking music lessons for the first time. I let them each choose which instrument they wanted to play most: Miriam and Micah chose violin, Kaylee chose piano, and Chandler chose EDM (electronic dance music). 

Dale is Miriam and Micah's violin teacher. He's such a happy guy and so comfortable for the kids to talk to, they really like him. He says that Miriam is a natural and learns faster than most of his students. Micah enjoys violin but a couple of weeks ago has started to learn to use it as a fiddle. Dale says that fiddling is harder but it really seems that this is where Micah has much more interest. 

Kaylee's piano teacher, Ann, is the sweetest lady, full of praise and encouragement- Kaylee loves her. I've been impressed with how quickly Kaylee is moving through her lessons these past eight months - she's already in her third piano book! She sounds so awesome!

Chandler has always loved music and with a wide variety of interest. His greatest passion is writing his own music though, especially EDM. His webpage is https://soundcloud.com/chandlerrawlins 

I'm pretty sure he's destined for stardom. 

Micah and Mitty

For the past week or so, Micah has been on a huge Mitty kick. I'm not sure why but almost any chance he gets, he's been listening to The Secret Life of Walter Mitty soundtrack. Of course, I don't object at all -- It's my favorite movie ever!


Truth be told, it will probably always be my favorite movie because there are so many meanings and memories I've attached from it to my own life.

I really liked hearing the whole soundtrack again today, even though it made my heart ache.

-Alicia

Grateful

I don't have much to write today.  I'm just grateful for the Gospel in my life: for the scriptures, for prayer, for living prophets, for my Savior, for the Atonement. I'm grateful for the peace that comes from hanging on to principles of truth. And there is a wellspring of truth overflowing in this Gospel.
-Alicia

Grateful

by, Paul Cardall

The Lord is Able

"God has always asked His covenant children to do difficult things. Because you are covenant-keeping sons and daughters of God, living in the latter part of these latter days, the Lord will ask you to do difficult things. You can count on it—Abrahamic tests did not stop with Abraham. I know how unnerving it can be to be asked to do something that seems far beyond your capacity... 

But the Lord is able to do His own work, and I was privileged to watch the unfolding of one miracle after another—always, and only, after I had brought my best thinking, my most courageous efforts, and my most fervent prayers to the task... 

...anchored in pure doctrine, when you are asked to do impossible things, you will be able to step forward with faith and dogged persistence and cheerfully do all that lies in your power to fulfill the purposes of the Lord.

You will have days when you will be thoroughly discouraged. So, pray for courage not to give up!" - President Russell N. Nelson - Jan. 2017

"Something Out Of Me"

by, Nichole Nordeman

Just You and me on a hillside 

And 4,999 

If You could see on the inside 

What I brought, what I need, how I’m caught in between

You lifted bread to the blue sky 

They said they watched it just multiply 

But in the back of a long line 

Oh, I want to believe there’s enough left for me

Cause by now it really shoulda been long gone

And somehow it keeps going on and on 

On and on an on ‘cause

You take all kinds of nothing 

Turn it right in to something 

I see impossible, but You see a basket full of 

A little bit of this sounds crazy 

A little bit of just maybe 

You take every doubt and 

You make something out of me

It’s not the story that moves me 

It’s not that I don’t believe You could 

It’s just my heart is so hungry

Is there enough to fill me up 

Or will You run out of love

You take all kinds of nothing 

Turn it right in to something 

I see impossible, but You see a basket full of 

A little bit of this sounds crazy 

A little bit of just maybe 

You take every doubt and 

You make something out of me

Something out of me

By now Your love could have been long gone 

But somehow it keeps going on and on 

And...

You take all kinds of nothing 

Turn it right in to something 

I see impossible, but You see a basket full of 

A little bit of this sounds crazy 

A little bit of just maybe 

You take every doubt and 

You make something out of me

Something out of me

Even If... through the fire

There's a new song out by MercyMe  I wanted to share this evening. My hope in doing so is that it might be encouraging to someone who is consumed by despair from the burning flames of life's fiery furnace.

These verses strike my heart the most, The song is a prayer to God, one I think every Christian has felt at some moment in their life.

"It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You're able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone"

This reminds me very much of the wonderful talk given By Dennis E. Simmons thirteen years ago, But If Not, especially the last two paragraphs.

We must have the same faith as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.

"Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not … . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. … He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, … we will trust in the Lord.

Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not. … He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not. … We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not, … we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has."

 We might not have the answers to some of our experiences right now. Time may reveal it or at least content our souls with not knowing. But one thing is certain - God loves us and will see us through every heartache as we seek Him.

-Alicia

Shooting Star

My foster daughter has regular hour-long, sometimes two hour-long, melt-downs every morning. She doesn't like to go to the bathroom or get dressed: She knows how to do it perfectly well on her own but it's always a power-struggle. Sometimes, she'll have several of these a day.  She is used to a life with absolutely no rules and no boundaries whatsoever... so any correction, any asking her to wait, or any form of giving her instruction usually sends her flying into a full scale fit of rage. It's interesting, because in middle of her kicking, scratching and flailing, she screams at the top of her lungs, "I want you, Alicia!!  I want you!!"

This desperate display of such  contrasting desires goes on in most foster children: At the very same time they are acting out in horrible violent behavior, they are also pleading and begging for loving, affectionate physical reassurance... And let me tell you, it is the hardest thing to give in those moments.

For the past few weeks, our foster son has also had an increase of "tantrums"--displaying the same kinds of pushing away and pulling us in. He has started to lay around more, sitting and sulking about what is required in order to be able to play video games. He fights against every rule of our home--stomping, sassing, slamming, protesting... and seconds later he wants a big huge bear hug.

We were told about this common push/pull behavior from other foster parents, just didn't realize how extreme it would be and how hard to recover from.

I was pretty worn out after his tantrum last night and her morning melt-down today.

However, I feel the Lord blessed me with a compassion beyond my own ability.  After she finally got dressed, I scooped up my screaming foster daughter and held her until she relaxed in my arms. I leaned up against the bedroom wall and slid my tired body to the floor, continuing to just hold her. She wrapped her arms around me and tucked her head deep into my shoulder completely silent.  After about ten minutes, she pulled back to look at my face.  I sighed wearily, "Sweetheart, you need to learn to relax and not panic so quickly. You know how to do these things. Please don't throw such a fit about it." She flopped back onto my shoulder again.  It must be so hard for her to live in such a different environment.

Later, I found some little activities to take my foster daughter's mind off of her anxieties and also give me some space.  After I could see she was content and calm, I walked down the hall and found Kaylee playing this song on the blue tooth, "Shooting Star" by, Owl City. I took a deep breath and listened closely. I don't think I had ever heard it before.  I liked the lyrics and asked her to play it again.

We're going to get through this. "Fill the darkest night with a brilliant light."
I think this will be my song for the day.

-Alicia

Make Us One

I had the opportunity to sing in the choir for Stake Conference over the weekend. There's one song that was my favorite, especially as we watch these miraculous changes that have taken place to create our new Stake. 

Over these last few days I've found myself singing parts of this song quietly to myself, probably because it seems to echo the heartfelt cries of my own prayers, "teach me compassion: cast my fear aside". I'm thankful for the language of music. I have needed it more than ever these past few days. The Lord knows it is my love language.

-Alicia

Make Us One

by, Sally DeFord

How shall we stand amid uncertainty?

Where is our comfort in travail?

How shall we walk amid infirmity,

When feeble limbs are worn and frail?

And as we pass through mortal sorrow,

How shall our hearts abide the day?

Where is the strength the soul may borrow?

Teach us thy way.

Make us one, that our burdens may be light

Make us one as we seek eternal life

Unite our hands to serve thy children well

Unite us in obedience to thy will.

Make us one! teach us, Lord, to be

Of one faith, of one heart

One in thee.

Then shall our souls be filled with charity,

Then shall all hate and anger cease

And though we strive amid adversity,

Yet shall we find thy perfect peace

So shall we stand despite our weakness,

So shall our strength be strength enough

We bring our hearts to thee in meekness;

Lord, wilt thou bind them in thy love?

Take from me this heart of stone,

And make it flesh even as thine own

Take from me unfeeling pride;

Teach me compassion; cast my fear aside.

Give us one heart, give us one mind

Lord, make us thine

Oh, make us thine!

For the Hard Days...

I've recently heard about JamesTheMormon.  He's a BYU student, a rapper, and Mormon (Hence the name). This guy is really cool because he uses his talents to share uplifting encouraging lyrics and the Gospel.  This is a fun clip my son and I watched today.  It's amazing how a little music can turn any moment around. This video does a good job sharing that message. It's a modern day "shoulder to the wheel" song. 

I also saw a quote that fits perfectly with this video...

Finding these things today reminded me of a really great quote by President Packer:

“If [we] have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life.”

Anyway... Just a few thoughts for when things don't go according to plan or when life is just hard.  Keep on keeping on!

-Alicia 

And... the view from HERE still makes me smile.

We got the keys to our garage last week and the keys to our house yesterday. We have been moving everything over slowly and will be in our home completely in just a few more days.  I took the kids over this evening to put a couple of things in order while the boys were at Priesthood Session.  I'm very happy to say that I still have a good view of Timp, the Y, and the Angel Moroni.  

I also noticed something else in this lovely little home of ours I hadn't noticed before... 

....a beautiful message on the bathroom mirror that trails off into forever,
"Believe in miracles everyday."  

Perfect, absolutely perfect! 

Yeah, I believe.

-Alicia :)

I Believe by, Catherine Papworth

Beautiful
Wonderful
With kindness and compassion on his face.
Merciful
And personal
Giver of the most amazing Grace.

He saved my life;
Opened up my eyes.
He gave everything to rescue me.
Knowing where I've been,
Let me start again.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
I believe.

Creator
No one greater.
Maker of the heavens and the Earth.
Holy
King of Glory
Words cannot describe his endless worth.

He saved my life;
Opened up my eyes.
He gave everything to rescue me.
Knowing where I've been,
Let me start again.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
I Believe.

Comfort
Keeper
Gracious
Redeemer
My Defender
Forever
And Ever

He saved my life
Opened up my eyes.
He gave everything to rescue me.
Knowing where I've been,
Let me start again.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
I Believe.
I Believe.

All Planned Out - Ponderize - Week 49

I'm delighted to share what I found in my scriptures this morning and what I'll be pondering on for the week!  Now, the verse I'm sharing is from a very modern translation of the Bible and I know that as members of the church we usually stick to the KJV but I really, really like how this verse comes to life with The Message version:

"This is God’s Word on the subject... I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.
When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.
Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.
I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you—God’s Decree—bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it."

- Jeremiah 29:11-14

I also really like how it sounds in the first couple verses of the NIV version:

 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the Lord,” 

- Jeremiah 29:11-13

I found a little song that seems fitting for the verse too.  I find peace when I remember that God has everything under control.  It will all work out! :)

-Alicia

I Need a Revival!

It's been one of those days where I feel like I've really had to struggle to fight off negative thoughts about myself.  I can't quite put my finger on where it started but it grew increasingly worse when I was studying in my textbook for Writing and Rhetoric about ethos (who we are to our audiences).  Don't get me wrong, It's a wonderful chapter, extremely insightful but maybe reading about how "my audiences" might perceive me gave me a little stage fright?  Reading how to "look smart, be smart" and "show balance" reminds me that I'm not very graceful and...well, I feel like this apple falls pretty far from the tree.  So many times when I talk to other adults, even young adults, I feel incredibly inferior in my vocabulary, my wit, my sense of humor, my knowledge of current events, you name it... so inferior that when it comes to conversation, I freeze-up.  On the other hand, there are times I get so nervous that I end up talking too much to avoid an awkward silence and end up boring "my audiences" or shoving my foot in my mouth somehow.  This "tight-rope walking" doesn't happen every day... just on the ones where I seem to keep straining at all my idiosyncrasies.

Other worries began to plague my mind too...  one thought after another about the job I'm doing teaching my children how to handle their own life skills (you know- good communication, good study habits, hard work ethic, being spiritually motivated, choosing good friends, and their own "ethos")

When my husband returned home from work, he greeted me thoughtfully and asked how things were going.  I sighed and laid my head on his chest, "I'm feeling really lame.  I need to re-center somehow."  Understandingly, he sweetly offered to let me be alone in the bedroom to pray.  After a moment, I requested that I make a quick Temple visit.  I promised I'd make it back in time to watch a concert we had planned to go to as a family.  (The Lower Lights  -blue grass gospel)  

I think the combination of both the Temple and the concert was just what the Dr. ordered because I feel great now.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I'm a sucker for blue grass gospel.  I've loved it ever since I can remember! (Maybe it's the southern girl in my blood?)  A few old gospel hymns, a little bit of clapping and toe tapping, along with shouts of "hallelujah" and "amen" is guaranteed to lift my spirit anytime!  

My favorites tonight were: This Little Light of Mine, Down to the River to Pray, Calling You, I Need Thee Every Hour, Brightly Beams, and I'll Fly Away 

I'm so thankful for tonight.  I just needed a revival!

-Alicia

Fight the Good Fight

Kaylee has a favorite song that she loves to listen to.  Often I'll catch her lip-syncing to it in front of the full-length mirror.  She's the only one of my children who loves singing and dancing... go figure.  Any hint of me starting to bust-a-move or break out in song, my older kids will shut me down in seconds.  I still do it behind their backs anyway.  Secretly, I know they want to join in.

Kaylee and I had a nice mother-daughter bonding moment belting this song out together.  I know it's probably not written with any kind of Christian meaning but I really like to think of it in the context of 2 Timothy 4:7.

"Fight Song"

by, Rachel Platten

Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn't say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep

Everybody's worried about me

In too deep

Say I'm in too deep 

And it's been two years

I miss my home

But there's a fire burning in my bones

Still believe

Yeah, I still believe

Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion

This is my fight song 

Take back my life song 

Prove I'm alright song 

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong 

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

No I've still got a lot of fight left in me

-Alicia

P.S.  Whenever I sing or dance with Kaylee, I'm reminded of this video four years ago when she was obsessed with Imagine Dragons.  Her passion is adorable!  She especially loved this group because, at the time, two of the band players were her Primary Teachers.  So cool!  :)

No Matter Where We Go

Chandler hasn't said a lot about this move.  He spends most of his time with headphones on listening to his music.  I catch a glimpse of myself as I've observed over the years how he takes such a deep interest in finding the right song for every occasion.  I can't help but think it's a "love language" for him too.

Recently, he's been playing this one by Andy Grammer.  The lyrics sing, "No matter where we go, we'll always find our way back home."  It's caught on with all the kids and has become the most requested since Chandler discovered it two weeks ago.  That line from the song is stuck in our heads now and it's absolutely perfect for the occasion!

Chandler doesn't express it but he's aching with the thought of having to leave this neighborhood, I know he is.  We all are. But we find comfort in knowing that nothing needs to stop us from our  desire to stay.  We can find ways... and make ways to return.  We have family here, brothers and sisters we love so very much!!

Thank you, Chandler, for the music! It speaks right to my heart.

"We won't forget where we came from
The city won't change us
We beat to the same drum...
No matter where we go, we always find our way back home."

-Alicia

Happy Sabbath!

"We strive to build an environment in our home and in our hearts 
where the Spirit of God may dwell."

- Rawlins Family Mission Statement

I look forward to Sundays!  I especially love the atmosphere of our home when we have hymns or conference talks playing.  My husband and I have playlists we've created to enrich our Sundays... and every day for that matter.  Last night my husband shared with me a song from his compilation,  "Nearer My God to Thee"  I love a-capella groups and men's choirs... Plus, this is one of my favorite hymns; so, a combination of these things was a real treat to listen to.  

What do you do to draw nearer to God on the Sabbath?

What sort of things invite the Spirit and help you desire greater commitment to the covenants you've made?

Moroni has some great verses that help us to keep our Sundays conducted after the manner of the Spirit:

• The Sacrament was administered "according to the commandments of Christ" "They [the elder or priest] did kneel down with the church, and pray to the Father in the name of Christ." (Moroni 4:1,2)

• "They came forth with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and witnessed unto the church that they truly repented of all their sins." (Moroni 6:2)

• "They took upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve Him to the end." (Moroni 6:3)

• "They were numbered among the people of the church of Christ; and their names were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way..." (Moroni 6:4)

• "The church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.  And they did meet together oft to partake of [the sacrament], in remembrance of the Lord Jesus." (Moroni 6:5,6)

• "They were strict to observe... As oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven... And their meetings were conducted by the church after the manner of the workings of the Spirit, and by the power of the Holy Ghost." (Moroni 6:8)

• "The power of the Holy Ghost led them whether to preach, or to exhort, or to pray, or to supplicate, or to sing" (Moroni 6:9)

The Sabbath is a day of rest and I’ve discovered that I find rest when  I am centered on the Savior (which can actually mean hard work, very hard work)  But the rest is real: it is comforting,  It is spiritual, it is encouraging, it is hopeful - always hopeful because it is found in truth, it is refreshing and rejuvenating.

Like Moroni, I find rest when I am with others whose focus is the same as we “meet together often to fast and to pray” and conduct our lives “after the manner of the Spirit”.  It makes my day and my week so much brighter and it nourishes my soul. 

Maybe that’s why it’s called “Sun”day?   

-Alicia :)
My Favorite Choral Hymn Arrangements for Sunday Take a listen!

https://www.lds.org/church/news/church-leaders-call-for-better-observance-of-sabbath-day?lang=eng

Blessings

Man, this past week-and-a-half was rough!  Sometimes I really can't stand social media.  It's great for sharing the Gospel but even with that I'd prefer face-to-face.  I just don't think it's a very effective way of communication.  It's lacking tone of voice, facial expression, body language, and intent is so easily misunderstood through words alone.  Some people are out just looking for a fight.  I don't like to debate, I'm lousy at it.  I'd rather avoid contention and I don't have very thick skin.

"By arguments and accusations, some people bait us to leave the high ground. Sometimes others want us to come down off the high ground and join them in a theological scrum in the mud. These few contentious individuals are set on picking religious fights, online or in person. We are always better staying on the higher ground of mutual respect and love." - Robert D. Hales, Christian Courage

As difficult as these past several days have been, I've had some great blessings:

Blessing #1
Thursday, my 14-yr.-old son, Chandler, returned home while the other children were off playing.  I was in the kitchen cleaning and had been anxiously anticipating my husband's return.  I felt emotionally exhausted and couldn't wait to be held for a while.
"Hey bud, it's great to have you home!" I tried to lift my spirit and shrug off the heaviness I felt so that Chandler didn't think my sorrow was in any way tied to him.
"Thanks." He smiled.
"How was your day?" I asked.
He showed me some things he made in his welding class and told me about his plans for his next project.
I attempted to keep my tone cheery as we conversed.
Chandler could see I was struggling.
I finally gave in, "You know what, I'm not doing so well.  I'm feeling kinda sad today.  I think I'd feel better with a hug though."  I laid my head on his shoulder and asked, "Will you just hold me for a moment?"  I expected him to step back or roll his eyes, all the while making some sort of comment about what a dork I am.  But he didn't.  It seemed that he sensed my sincerity and knew it was something I really needed.  Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around me and just held me, lovingly held me.  I think he would have held me longer than a minute had I not pulled back to thank him.  I was so impressed by his tenderness.  It's not a side I see very often.  He's not my cuddly boy, Micah is.  (Chandler shows his affection most of the time by picking me up, wrestling, or throwing me onto the couch - you know, manly touch - nothing too sugary.)
Having my own son receive me so gently did more to heal my heart in that moment than I could have imagined.  It filled me with pride as a mother and tears of gratitude surface even now as I write about it.

Blessings #2
Another experience that has kept me floating this week was with Micah.  He is my most eager and willing child to come to class with me at BYU.  He loves to bring his notebook and he actually listens to the lectures.  He's adorable with the students and they always look forward to seeing him.  This past week, the instructor asked if there was any good news to share.  Micah held up a 3D printed sculpture of himself and proudly reported, "I have a model of myself I made in my Webelos Den for scouts."
"Webelos ha?" My friend, Darron, asked with interest.  "My wife and I are Webelos leaders in our ward."
It was cute because they spent several more minutes, just the two of them, discussing scouts until class officially started.  It's exciting for Micah to feel important enough that these college students take interest in him.  I especially love it because he has the opportunity to see that the whole age-gap garbage is no where to be found after middle school and high school.
Micah also loves to see that we have prayer in class.  He can see that there's something great about this University, there's a wonderful spirit in the buildings and among all the students.
He's very sensitive to spiritual things.
When we made our way back to the car, Micah asked for my KLOVE playlist.  A song he hadn't heard before began and he sat up leaning toward the stereo.  "Hey, this is new?  Which one is this?  I really like this one mom."
"It's called, God Is On The Move. It's a good one isn't it?"
"Yeah, can I listen to it more when we get home?  I want to add it to my Youtube playlist."
"Absolutely, you can!" (What kind of mother would object to that?)
He has been playing this song all week.  And honestly, it has been one I think I've needed to hear on repeat.  What a blessing!

Blessing #3
My friend, Carol, called me the other day.  She's an incredibly busy person and I know she rarely has time for personal phone calls but she took a moment out of her hectic life to offer her great love and encouragement.  She shared with me words that I really needed to hear.  She is dear to me.  What an inspired woman!

Blessing #4
I had to drive out to Delta (about an hour-and-a-half away) to see an old friend.  I had the opportunity to bring Miriam with me.  It was nice to have that one-on-one time with her in the car.  I don't always get that because she's never at a lack of friends and usually takes off with them.  Miriam isn't much of a talker when it comes to deep feelings.  She loves to make up stories and play pretend but when it comes to the things that are weighing on her mind, she speaks very little... unless it's food that's bothering her.  You'll know if she's hungry because she gets "hAngry."
She was quiet most of the drive and just wanted to listen to her music.  But I was impressed with the songs she selected.  From them, you can tell she cares a great deal about eternal matters and that she is most hungry for the Spirit.

Blessing #5
We had a pajama party/ movie night with my best friend, Suzanne, and her husband.  We sent all the kids away to one house while we hung out at the other.  We watched our show together, comfy with our pillows and blankets, munching on stove-top cooked popcorn and sipping on fruit smoothies.

I am most richly blessed!
-Alicia

This is the song Micah has had on repeat this week: :)

"God Is On The Move"

by, 7eventh Time Down

Anytime a heart turns from

Darkness to light

Anytime temptation comes and

Someone stands to fight

Anytime somebody lives to serve and not be served

I know - I know - I know - I know

God is on the move, on the move

Hallelujah

God is on the move

In many mighty ways

God is on the move, on the move

Hallelujah

God is on the move

On the move today

Anytime in weakness someone

Falls upon their knees - or

Dares to stand and speak the

Truth that sets men free

Anytime the choice is made to

Stand upon the Word

I know - I know - I know - I know

God is on the move, on the move

Hallelujah

God is on the move

In many mighty ways

God is on the move, on the move

Hallelujah

God is on the move

On the move today

Anytime the Gospel

Stirs a love for searching souls - and

someone says: “Here I am send me, I will go”

I know - I know - I know - I know

God is on the move, on the move

Hallelujah

God is on the move

In many mighty ways 

God is on the move, on the move

Hallelujah

God is on the move

On the move today