If Thine Eye Be Single

The Savior admonishes in the Sermon on the Mount for us to "Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven." (Matt 6:1)

He also counsels, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matt 5:16)

So, the question I have is this... What is the differentiating factor determining if our alms or good works "before men" are so terribly wrong or so incredibly right? I believe that it all centers on our intention. We might ask ourselves if our righteous deeds are done with the intent to be "seen of men" or to "glorify [our] Father which is in heaven"? 

"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light." (Matt 6:22)

The point here again is that our vision, our focus, our intent must not be divided. We can't have half our desire to glorify God and the other half to glorify ourselves. The Savior in His sermon also makes it clear that "no man can serve two masters".  (Matt 6:24) And the apostle James taught, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8).

Jesus said, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matt 6:33)

Light will be added unto you, brighter and brighter. This is how we shine... By doing good works, giving alms, fearlessly loving, and simply serving others - all the while "taking no thought of [ourselves]" being 100% focused on giving credit where all credit is due, to our Father in Heaven.

-Alicia

Light the World

Today is the day: The worldwide day of service! 

From now until Christmas, we will consciously look for ways to reach and serve people in a way we would imagine the Savior doing. 

From my own experiences, I'm FOREVER grateful and will always hold in my heart those who have shined their LIGHT in my life and made my world so much brighter.

Dec. 1:  Jesus lifted other's burdens. What will you do today to lift another's burden?

#LIGHTtheWorld

Light the World 

Calendar

May God's Love Be With You!

A week ago, we finished our Book of Mormon reading as a ward family.  For our final activity, we all wrote our testimonies on "gold" plates and buried them in our Bishop's backyard. They will fit nicely there with King Benjamin's tower, the buried weapons of war, and the Jaredite barge [aka: his carriage house]. Words can't express how much I'll miss these adventures we've had in this place.

Leading up to that final event last week, I studied what it meant to "lay hold upon every good thing" (Moroni 7:19).  I searched the definition and discovered "lay hold" means to "seize" as in "seize the day".  Of course, this reminded me of my favorite movie, Mitty, and how Cheryl's influence caused Walter to seize the day.

I've written about it before, the secret to life....  To tell the truth, It's on my mind constantly... so it may come as no surprise that I thought about it again this morning as I studied the New Testament and came across these verses, "Ye are all the children of the light and the children of the day... let us who are of the day, be sober [calm, reasonable, and clear thinking], putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation." (1 Thessalonians 5:5,8)

In this modern age there is warfare of all kinds, not just physical but spiritual and emotional too.  In the midst of  battle, the most vital areas are the chest and head -So, I really like the imagery Paul uses as he instructs us how to protect them.

When I think of Salvation for our helmet, I think of "always remembering Him" [our Savior and His atoning sacrifice for us].  This is vital because we are fallible, we are mortal, we make mistakes, and we're so very far from perfect. The Savior knew we would need hope in life's moments that hit us so painfully with this reality.  Truly, what can bring more hope into our lives than knowing and always remembering that we have a way out of every tangled mess and that He delights to untangle us?!!

The breastplate covers our heart and lungs - the place where cells draw in life-giving air and carry it to our life-giving blood.  The functions of the these organs in our chest give us LIFE, they sustain us. we could not exist without them.  That's why I find it interesting that they are protected by faith and love, the two most powerful forces in the universe!

Henry Drummond put it beautifully when he said, "On the last analysis, then, love is life. Love never faileth and life never faileth so long as there is love."  

Finally, the other words I read that added to this imagery were these, "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks." (1 Thes. 5:16-18)  

If we could remember these three things today and everyday: Mind, Heart, and Mouth - it will help us "lay hold" and seize the day - to become who we are striving to become. It will preserve us in the heat of battle, always remembering the Savior and His great atoning sacrifice, being motivated and driven by faith and love, constantly praying, constantly communicating with God and striving in all our relationships to speak with more gratitude and offer more thanks when we open our mouth.

I know as we do this we will discover the secret to a very rich, and very abundant life!

We are children of the day!  Aw man, I'm so grateful for all the SUNSHINE that adds a measure of grace to my world!
Keep dancin'
-Alicia

Dear Alexa - August 27th, 2016

Dear Alexa,

Names are always interesting to me.  I love to look up names and search for their origin or meaning.  To me, it can be a source of direction in life.

Alexa is a female form of Alexander, and is sometimes also a short form of Alexandra, both of which come from the Greek, Alexandros. It can be broken down into alexo meaning "to defend" and ander, meaning "man"' making both Alexa and Alexander mean defender of man.

Today as you enter the waters of Baptism you are entering a covenant to take upon yourself a new name.  That new name is Jesus Christ.

For "There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ, all you that have entered into the covenant with God that ye should be obedient unto the end of your lives." (Mosiah 5:8)

And what does Christ's name mean?  

To me it means; Savior, Friend, Redeemer, Helper, Counselor, Light, Truth, Love, Kindness, Compassion, Virtue, Purity, Integrity, Honor, Holiness, Complete and Utter Selflessness, Hope, Grace, Joy, Healer, Forgiveness, The Way Through, The Way Back, The Way Home

Alexa, all your life, since you were very little, you have desired with your whole heart for pure and honest truth, to surround yourself with purity, goodness, and virtue.  Do you remember a couple years ago the summer before school started we had that discussion about the friends we choose and how you ached so much and longed to find friends who you could share these deep desires with, friends you could have spiritual discussions with, and talk about the fuller and richer meaning of life?  Do you remember how you prayed with all your heart for this?  Do you remember the Priesthood Blessing Joseph gave you before that school year?  And do you remember how things unfolded and the new people that miraculously came into your life?  These were the friends and the people you and I and grandma and grandpa had been praying for.  The way your life aligned with these new friends was not a coincidence.  Through this experience, you witnessed a very real and personal Father in Heaven who answered your deep and heart-felt prayer.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other.”

And just as much as these friends were an answer to your prayers.  I am confident that you were an answer to theirs.  

Do you remember when you were nervous to take seminary because you were afraid you didn't have enough gospel knowledge or that because you weren't a member, you were afraid you might embarrass yourself or stand out too much? 

 Do you remember what I said?  

I said, "Alexa, you have no idea how much those other students in Seminary will need you.  You WILL stand out, of that I'm sure!  You will stand out because you will be the girl who goes to Seminary without having to be told to, you'll go because you WANT to, because you CHOOSE to... even when you face strong opposition and opinions from others that tell you going to church and seminary is nonsense, that it's foolish, and that you could occupy yourself with better things. Your friends in Seminary will need you not because you are a gospel scholar or have all the answers but because you will be an example to them of immense courage and powerful faith.  You will be a bright light and a beautiful example to them."

Alexa, you have been living with the name of Christ on your heart all of your life, even when you didn't realize it.  But now this sacred ordinance is eternally binding and you are proving to God through covenant and Priesthood authority, which will make His name much powerful in your life.  

Before I close my talk, I want to share one more thought about your name.  Your middle name, "Lee" means something very significant, it means "Shelter"  Why would this be important? Well if "Alexo" or "Alexa" means "Defender" then "Alexa Lee" means  "Defender of the Shelter" I'll explain why that's significant:

The Prophet, Isaiah, speaks of a shelter in reference to the House of the Lord, to the Temple, "And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert (or shelter) from storm and from rain." - Isaiah 4:6

Baptism is the gate that leads you to that beautiful home away from Home (spelled with a capital H).  There are many in the world who mock the work that goes on in the temple, many who do not understand the sacredness and beauty of how and why we do what we do there. I suppose  someone who has never witnessed a graduation ceremony with processions, robes,caps, and gowns, (you know... ceremonial things we don't see every day) they might find it somewhat strange... 

but we are so used to graduation ceremonies in our culture that we don't even bat an eyelash at them.  The robe, cap, and gown are all symbols of victory and honor.  It's a beautiful thing.  

To be honest, I didn't understand the temple when I first went through but I have gone hundreds of times since and I can stand here and say with all my heart that I love temple. the ordinances, the ceremonies performed, the covenants, the promises pronounced on my head, I love it all!! The temple is my refuge, my safe place, my "shelter" from the storm.

So when you see or hear your name "Alexa Lee"  I want you to think of it as "Defender of the Shelter" or "Defender of the Temple."  You will have plenty of voices and forces that would oppose you and the Temple, many who don't understand that would keep you from this most beautiful place.  But do not let them.  It will never be popular. But it's not about popularity, it's about PURPOSE.   Be strong Alexa Lee, and always defend it.  Defend it by the way you live, by the words you speak, by the example you set, and the choices you make. Renew your covenants you make today each Sunday with the Sacrament.  

Someday, when you build your family, you will strive to make a sacred place within the walls of your own home, your place of shelter.  You will be key in setting the tone of the Spirituality level for your children.  A loving family unit centered on gospel principles is a very real shelter in any community, any place that it is established in the world. Let Alexa Lee also mean "Defender of the Family".

Be the light you have always been but now go forward shining even brighter, more boldly and more confidently, because heaven and earth know and it is recorded in the eternities that you are committed through covenant and endowed with Priesthood power.

Make diligent scripture study, sincere heart-felt prayer, and journal writing  part of your every day life and you will never have to walk in darkness.

I love you Alexa.  I love this gospel.  What you are doing is right.  I know it is true forever and always!

Bless you for your courage, for your faith, we are all cheering you on here today and so are thousands upon thousands of unseen angels.

"Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."- 2 Nephi 31:20

Love,

Alicia

Somebody Needs the Light You Have - Ponderize - Week 45

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, 

and glorify your Father which is in heaven." 

- Matthew 5:16

"Jesus wants every one of us to know him because of the transforming power of that knowledge and because of the indescribable joy it brings into our lives. But the influence of the gospel is to extend beyond each individual. It is to be as a light that dispels the darkness from the lives of those around us. No one of us is saved solely and simply for himself alone, just as no lamp is lighted merely for its own benefit." - Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"Pushing Back The Dark"

The Impossible Dream

I know two songs from the movie though I don't recall ever watching it.  I've never read the book either... even though it has sat on my shelf for years.  When I was a little girl, I remember my mother singing The Impossible Dream and Man of Lamancha.  She'd dance through the kitchen like a cheerful songbird and often get the lyrics messed up... but she sang her heart out anyway.

After reading the book that came in the mail last week, I took interest in the way the author mentions Don Quixote in her last chapter.  It reads as follows:

After [Don Quixote] tells [Aldonza] of his quest - to follow the impossible dream - she pleads, "Once, just once - would you look at me as I really am?"
He gazes into her eyes and answers, "I see beauty.  Purity.  I see the woman each man holds secret within him. Duclinea."

...In his quest to "add some measure of grace to the world" he became alive to new visions, to the vision of one who values all life - Jesus Christ.

Though she fights his vision as being unrealistic, her heart longs for it to be true, and in time the presence of his love, gentleness, and glory transform her life and her very nature.  

His triumph in the quest to "add some measure of grace" comes as he lies upon his deathbed and Aldonza comes to see him.  
She cries for him to regain the quest, "Please!  Try to remember!"
"Is it so important?" he asks.
"Everything.  My whole life.  You spoke to me and everything was different!" she pleads.
As he fades and dies, she is resurrected into a new being and walks away with his quest instilled upon her heart, and thereafter calls herself, Dulcinea [which means -sweet above all that is sweet]."

The part she describes here sounded so familiar to me.
"I know this story" I thought to myself.  " I know it well."
 It's a story of transformation, a story of redemption, a story of what happens to a soul when someone sees them differently, when they are seen by the light of truth, and it awakes them to who they are meant to become no matter how impossible it might seem.

There's no doubt in my mind that God knows and loves us beyond our mortal comprehension.  He answers our prayers.  He has great plans, tailor-made opportunities, and custom-fit challenges to help us grow into who we're meant to be.
...And sometimes He sends angels to help us along our journey.   I will thank God for my angels every single day of my life.  How could I ever forget the measure of grace they added to my world?!  Their quest is my quest now. It is written and instilled deep upon my heart forever.

From Don Quixote

To dream the impossible dream

To fight the unbeatable foe

To bear with unbearable sorrow

And to run where

the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong

And to love pure and chaste from afar

To try when your arms are too weary

To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest

To follow that star

No matter how hopeless

No matter how far

To fight for the right

Without question or pause

To be willing to march,

march into hell

For that heavenly cause

And I know

If I'll only be true

To this glorious quest

That my heart

Will lie peaceful and calm

When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be

better for this

That one man, scorned

and covered with scars,

Still strove with his last

ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable,

the unreachable,

The unreachable star

And I'll always dream

The impossible dream

Yes, and I'll reach

The unreachable star

"It is not that something different is seen, but that one sees differently.

It is as though the spatial act of seeing were changed by a new dimension."

- Carl Jung

What a great day!

Today was a very good day.  The meetings and speakers were all so perfect and the atmosphere was beautiful.  It felt wonderful to celebrate our fathers and I had so much fun making it an enjoyable day for my husband.  He really is such a fantastic dad!!

Another thing I loved about today was I just finished reading the book that came in the mail yesterday.  This author has a very powerful spirit because just reading her words, her presence seems to transcend space and time.  I can't explain it but it's very tangible.

If I were asked to choose three favorite parts in this book it would be hard because she shared some really wonderful things.  But nevertheless, if I had to choose...I'd narrow it down to these:

I like this part because she mentions Superman and where real superhuman power comes from:
"We live in a society which idolizes the heroes - Superman, Luke Skywalker, etc.  In fantasy we dream of becoming such a wonder.  Yet, through the divine assistance of a living God, we can in fact perform mighty miracles - superhuman miracles!  This is superhuman power and no pretended Hollywood character can match it.  To be willing to go forward on a sure course with the Spirit is to enter a whole new real of gospel living.  Living by the Spirit is exciting, unpredictable and- I choose my word carefully- fun! Yes, fun!" - Mollie Sorensen

I really like this first part because she touches on being 'mothers' not only in a physical sense but in a spiritual sense...  and I like that in regards to my journey to become a foster mom.  
More especially though, I love this quote she shares from Parley P. Pratt because I've experienced "such persons" in my life.
"To become a mother in Zion refers not only to the begetting of physical children, but more specifically the begetting of Christ-like qualities in others... Parely P. Pratt explained, 'In the presence of such persons one feels to enjoy the light of their countenances, as the genial rays of a sunbeam.  Their very atmosphere diffuses a thrill, a warm glow of pure gladness and sympathy, to the heart and nerves of others who have kindred feelings, or sympathy of spirit.  No matter if the parties are strangers, entirely unknown to each other, each will be apt to remark in his own mind and perhaps exclaim, when referring to the interview, 'Oh, what an atmosphere encircles that stranger!  How my heart thrilled with pure and holy feelings in his presence!  What confidence and sympathy he inspired!  His countenance and spirit gave me more assurance than a thousand written recommendations or introductory letters.' Such is the Gift of the Holy Spirit and such are its operations..." (Key to Theology, p. 102)

And last but not least, I like the very ending of her book because I feel that in just a few short years, my eyes have been opened to some amazing sights and I have enjoyed some very precious experiences, for which my soul is forever grateful!
"Amazing sights of glory are opened to the one who is willing to grow and yield to the Spirit: sights of faith and hope that make every day exciting and adventurous, sights of love and caring that make meeting the new neighbor down the block a precious experience, sights of living that cause one to relish a new sunrise and the morning dew, sights of freedom that prompt one to dance up and down the street, sights of joy that seem to overflow into ecstasy, and sights of glory that defy description.... We must decide to what we are now, or to become what we can become through the Spirit.  The 'sights' are glorious and well worth whatever effort to obtain A New Spirit Within You." - Mollie Sorensen

- Alicia

Beauty Divine

"I looked and beheld a tree... and the beauty thereof was far beyond, 

yea, exceeding of all beauty."

(1 Nephi 11:8)

Breathtaking vision, It's a sight to behold,

Something about it that never grows old.

Its brilliance is timeless and shines like the Son-

Bright as the day heav'n and earth become one.

Age will not tarnish purest beauty Divine

Each passing year only ripen, refine

Growing in majesty and flourishing grace,

Kindness, compassion, a smiling face,

Inspiring virtue, fine-tuned affection

Hope, friendship, joy, and human connection.
A new Spirit within from heaven above
Constantly reaching with a Christlike love,

Everlasting beauty that conquers the grave

Lives on in the soul and all that they gave.

by, Alicia Rawlins

Tree of Life by, Audiomachine

“I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and … lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.” - President Thomas S. Monson

"I have come to know that it is the love of God and neighbor that gives meaning to life. May we follow our Savior’s example and His admonition to reach out to others with love." - Cheryl A. Esplin

"There is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving." - Henry Drummond

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." - Henry Drummond

Happy Sabbath!

"We strive to build an environment in our home and in our hearts 
where the Spirit of God may dwell."

- Rawlins Family Mission Statement

I look forward to Sundays!  I especially love the atmosphere of our home when we have hymns or conference talks playing.  My husband and I have playlists we've created to enrich our Sundays... and every day for that matter.  Last night my husband shared with me a song from his compilation,  "Nearer My God to Thee"  I love a-capella groups and men's choirs... Plus, this is one of my favorite hymns; so, a combination of these things was a real treat to listen to.  

What do you do to draw nearer to God on the Sabbath?

What sort of things invite the Spirit and help you desire greater commitment to the covenants you've made?

Moroni has some great verses that help us to keep our Sundays conducted after the manner of the Spirit:

• The Sacrament was administered "according to the commandments of Christ" "They [the elder or priest] did kneel down with the church, and pray to the Father in the name of Christ." (Moroni 4:1,2)

• "They came forth with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and witnessed unto the church that they truly repented of all their sins." (Moroni 6:2)

• "They took upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve Him to the end." (Moroni 6:3)

• "They were numbered among the people of the church of Christ; and their names were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way..." (Moroni 6:4)

• "The church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.  And they did meet together oft to partake of [the sacrament], in remembrance of the Lord Jesus." (Moroni 6:5,6)

• "They were strict to observe... As oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven... And their meetings were conducted by the church after the manner of the workings of the Spirit, and by the power of the Holy Ghost." (Moroni 6:8)

• "The power of the Holy Ghost led them whether to preach, or to exhort, or to pray, or to supplicate, or to sing" (Moroni 6:9)

The Sabbath is a day of rest and I’ve discovered that I find rest when  I am centered on the Savior (which can actually mean hard work, very hard work)  But the rest is real: it is comforting,  It is spiritual, it is encouraging, it is hopeful - always hopeful because it is found in truth, it is refreshing and rejuvenating.

Like Moroni, I find rest when I am with others whose focus is the same as we “meet together often to fast and to pray” and conduct our lives “after the manner of the Spirit”.  It makes my day and my week so much brighter and it nourishes my soul. 

Maybe that’s why it’s called “Sun”day?   

-Alicia :)
My Favorite Choral Hymn Arrangements for Sunday Take a listen!

https://www.lds.org/church/news/church-leaders-call-for-better-observance-of-sabbath-day?lang=eng

"Understand and Prepare" - Ponderize - Week 32

I've had some unbelievable experiences these past two years that are too sacred to share and too hard to explain, so I won't even attempt to.  Everything has felt so condensed, so concentrated, so rapid.... So much has happened in such a short period of time...
I have felt like the "windows of heaven" have been opened as a flood, pulling me in like a riptide that's washing me out to sea...
It has been so overwhelming that I just haven't had "room enough to receive it".

Being overwhelmed like this, from experiencing things of a spiritual nature, so powerfully, so consistently, so frequent, in such a short amount of time, sounds like a pleasant and comfortable thing right?  I mean, saying  you've had the "windows of heaven" opened to you, one would think that all of this has been a joyful experience... it has... but...
Let me tell you, some of it has been excruciatingly painful and terribly, terribly lonely...
The only ones who have known my whole complete story through it all, who know me so well, has been the Lord and my husband.
Yesterday, I was weighed down with this loneliness.  And I wondered if that's what Paul meant by "weight of glory"... to have miraculous things happen and not be able to really share them because of the sacredness of it... or the unbelief of others...
It is very, very heavy.

My husband gave me a beautiful priesthood blessing late last night and then held me tightly in his arms.  I just wept and wept.

This morning in my scripture studies, I was searching for a verse to "ponderize" for the week.  I've just finished reading about the Savior's visit to the Nephites where He pretty much teaches them the same thing He taught the people of Jerusalem in Matthew 5 - 7.  Can you imagine what a spiritual experience that must have been to have Christ, Himself, teach and bless you face to face??  I'm sure it was beautiful, miraculous, powerful, and very, very overwhelming.  Would that have been like "the windows of heaven" being opened without "room enough to receive it"?

I wonder how many people believed them when they went back to tell their friends about their experience... how many thought they were crazy?  Depending on the responses (or lack of response) I imagine those who testified felt joy one moment and extreme pain the next.
But regardless of who believes... you know that there's more... that the story isn't over... there is more yet to be revealed.  You know that someday you'll understand it all.
So you keep moving, you press on in faith, in confidence, and trust that what you've experienced is truly Divine... even if no one believes you... even if people think you're crazy... even if it's a terribly lonely, lonely way to go.
It doesn't matter...  you will be prepared for tomorrow.

"Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask the Father in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again." - 3 Nephi 17:3

-Alicia

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

"On the day following the preparation,' that is to say on Saturday, the [Jewish] Sabbath and 'high-day,' the chief priests and Pharisees came in a body to Pilate, saying: 'Sir, we remember that the deceiver said, while he was yet alive, After three days I will rise again.  command therefore that the sepulcher be made sure until the third day, lest his disciples come by night, and steal him away, and say unto the people, He is risen from the dead: so the last error shall be worse than the first.'" - Jesus the Christ p.665

So Pilate ordered a large stone to be rolled in front of the tomb and guards to secure the opening.  But nothing could hold back the Spirit of the Lord. The Savior had already gone to spirit paradise to visit and teach those who had died before him.

" Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

  And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow." - Alma 40:11-12

There's a lot to think about today as we ponder upon the life of our spirit and physical death. One thing I do know, is that light is eternal.  Today, I am reminded of this gorgeous poem sung by Libera.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there; I did not die

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

"Happy Day!!!"

Today is the big day! It's Palm Sunday and the First Day of Spring; a day of letting the Savior in, a day to start a new life, and begin new beginnings.  It's also the day we shout "Hosanna!" and dedicate the new Provo City Center Temple. This is the only one with such a unique "back-story."  It's inspiring to me on so many levels.  

After the tabernacle was gutted by fire and it stood a hollowed burned-out shell for months, I remember when President Monson announced it would be made into a temple, I was so thrilled that I cried and laughed at the same time.  I drove down the street and around the corner either that same day or the next, I remember it was raining.  I looked up at the east wall and saw a big banner with balloons that proclaimed, "Happy Day!"  This written declaration made my heart burst and the joyful tears I cried when it was announced returned.  I parked alone at that corner for just a moment to catch my breath and said out-loud responding to the banner, "It IS a happy day isn't it, it truly is a happy day!" 

Photo by, Sammy Jo Hester - Daily Herald

The kids had the cultural celebration last night.  They had been preparing for months.  We've never had an opportunity like it before and will likely never have one again.  All of the performances were beautiful.  Our kids danced to the song Reaching by, Audiomachine. They were awesome and I couldn't stop smiling, I felt so proud!   

I also really loved the one with umbrellas.  They danced to a song called, "Sometimes He Let's it Rain."  I've heard that song before and some of the lines are these:

"Sometimes He lets it rain, He lets the fierce winds blow.

Sometimes it takes a storm to lead a heart where it can grow.

He can move mountains of grief and oceans of pain, but sometimes He lets it rain.

There is no joy without the pain. Sometimes, He has to let it rain." 

It made me think of the talk by President Eyring a while back called "Where is the Pavilion?"  But after the storm, the sun is sure to shine, and shine it did!  For the final song, all 6,000 youth created a sun with girls dressed in white at the circle's center and beautiful rays of fire and light reaching up into the stands.  It was perfect!  Just perfect!

I pray my heart will be open today during the dedication.  I pray I will be receptive to the Lord and His way of transforming me, to purify me into who I need to be;  a better wife, a better mother, a better servant, and friend. I thank my Father in Heaven for this beautiful, beautiful house with it's inscription "Holiness to the Lord" and I pray dear Father, more holiness give me.

-Alicia

Sunrise

“Grace shall be as your day”—what an interesting phrase. We have all sung it hundreds of times, but have we stopped to consider what it means? “Grace shall be as your day”: grace shall be like a day. As dark as night may become, we can always count on the sun coming up. As dark as our trials, sins, and mistakes may appear, we can always have confidence in the grace of Jesus Christ. Do we earn a sunrise? No. Do we have to be worthy of a chance to begin again? No. We just have to accept these blessings and take advantage of them. As sure as each brand-new day, grace—the enabling power of Jesus Christ—is constant. Faithful pioneers knew they were not alone. The task ahead of them was never as great as the power behind them." - Brad Wilcox

Feeling Grace

"Warm rays of sunlight stream down upon me and dance across my face.

Darkness is dispelled as the morning breaks.

I breathe in the crisp refreshing air that follows a summer rain.

I smile.

I breathe deep again.

I feel blessed, I feel free.

I am home.

A new day has arrived,

I am rested and renewed.

Hope is alive,

It pulses through my veins.

There is nothing I fear,

I am safe here.

And it's only the beginning..."

By, Alicia Rawlins 2009

Keep Believing

Three days out of the week I have the privilege of walking from my home up to BYU's campus to attend my American Heritage class.  As I walk the seven blocks to the bottom of the hill and pass the rows of apartments and houses, one by one students will emerge from the various doorways and head north on the parallel streets.  At first it seems like there is only four, maybe five of us in view but then as the bottom of the hill draws nearer, the number is closer to fifteen or twenty students coming from all directions.  I commence my way on the steep path, the buildings from campus rise into sight there is now one long stream of students filling the walkway in front of me and behind me, forty or fifty.  When I reach the crest of the hill and pass through the first row of buildings, suddenly I'm in a sea of thousands of students. It's glorious!  Each day I experience this,  I think of a story I heard from a devotional and how the vision of one young man helped turn the tide of despair and restore the hope of the BYU dream.

By 1913, a new wave of financial problems was threatening the university’s future. BYU faced mounting debt. Faculty salaries were so low the teachers ran farms to survive, returning home to irrigate between classes. Its cornerstone laid in 1907, the Maeser Memorial Building sat silent and unfinished for years. Finally, it seemed, the only way to finance its completion was to divide the land on Temple Hill into housing lots and sell them. A student named Alfred Kelly was selected to promote this idea during a commencement speech, but the assignment troubled him. Early one morning he walked to the top of Temple Hill to pray. What he saw that morning as he looked out across the valley left an unforgettable impression upon all who heard him relate it the day of his address, because what Kelly saw was you.

“Gradually the morning light advanced across the valley floor toward the spot where I stood. I closed my eyes partially to the advancing light and was startled by the strange vision that seemed to appear before me. The advancing sunlight took on the appearance of people, thousands of young people who approached me, their arms laden with books. I turned around to find the area behind me illuminated as well. In that light I saw hundreds of buildings, large and beautiful temples of learning. Those young people passed by me and entered in. Then, with cheerfulness and confidence, they turned toward the east and lifted their eyes heavenward, where, again becoming part of the sunlight, they gradually disappeared from my view.”

Kelly sat down to a stunned silence. Suddenly Jesse Knight leaped to his feet, pledging several thousand dollars to BYU. Others followed suit. Eventually, under the direction of President Joseph F. Smith, the Church assumed the school’s remaining debt. Finally, the future of the university had become secure.

The Lord evidently had a plan for the ground the campus now occupies—as He always had for BYU. He would not let even its leaders prevent its divine destiny. Such divine intervention on the things that matter most to the Lord is a comfort to me, knowing He can intervene to correct my lapses in judgment or vision. - (A House of Dreams - John S. Tanner)

What young Alfred Kelly experienced that morning was nothing short of prophecy.  It gave the people something to hold on to, to believe in when everything in the moment seemed hopelessly lost.

In this devotional Brother Tanner also tells of a vision Karl G. Maeser had that too was prophetic.  It came just after his darkest moment when he was ready to quit the cause:

Maeser said,  “I am worn out and sick in spirit, . . . and with all my love for this Academy, I feel that I owe it to my very life, which is needlessly wearing itself out here in an apparently hopeless task, to accept any change that will promise me opportunities for permanent usefulness.”  He contemplated moving his family and taking a job at the University of Deseret (which is now University of Utah).  His daughter one day asked when the move would take place and he responded,  “I have changed my mind. I have had a dream—I have seen Temple Hill filled with buildings—great temples of learning, and I have decided to remain and do my part.”**

Maybe I'm a dreamer... but when the clouds of gloom hang drearily over our heads and it feels as if the end of struggle is nowhere in sight, when we are worn and beaten down from the tasks that surround us, we can learn from these stories of the past and remember that it's always darkest just before the dawn.  God sees the bigger picture of our lives.... and I promise it is full of glory, purpose, and Divine mission.

With that... here's my song for the day. Keep Believing by, Ryan Shupe

-Alicia

**Excerpt from DVD Passport to Destiny; taken from Wilkinson and Skousen, School of Destiny, 84–85; emphasis in original.

A Marvelous Father

Yesterday, I had the privilege of attending the homecoming of my nephew, Dane.  What a solid, good, and pure young man!  I'm so incredibly proud of him.  He's such a naturally righteous soul: timid like a lamb on the outside but roaring like a lion with bold testimony on the inside.  Once, I asked his mother the secret to raising such an amazing kid.  She shook her head at me with surprise, "Alicia, you have no idea... honestly, he came that way.  He is unlike any other, I've never had a child so naturally obedient." I thought to myself, "She's been blessed with a 'Nephi.'"

The messages in Sacrament meeting yesterday were beautiful; centered on charity, the pure love of Christ.  Then Nephi... I mean Dane, concluded his testimony of miracles and angels (both seen and unseen.) I smiled.

In Sunday school we discussed 1 Nephi 8 and the Tree of Life and in Relief Society we learned about the Kingdom of God established on earth as it is in Heaven.  

I took mental note of the talk referenced in Sunday school by Robert D. Hales entitled, "With all the Feeling of a Tender Parent." Still thinking of my sister-in-law's comment and the varying dispositions of our children... what about Lehi's children?  What a contrast between Nephi and his brothers! How much did this affect the emotions of their father?

• "The hymn often sung by our pioneer ancestors tells us what to do: “Gird up your loins; fresh courage take. / Our God will never us forsake.”  That courage and faith is what we need as parents and families in these latter days.
• Father Lehi had such courage. He loved his family and rejoiced that some of his children kept the Lord’s commandments. But he must have been heartbroken when his sons “Laman and Lemuel partook not of the fruit” representing the love of God. “He exceedingly feared for [them]; yea, he feared lest they should be cast off from the presence of the Lord.” - Elder Robert D. Hales

Lehi was an incredible father; devoted, loving, and true to the Faith!! Some of his children chose to follow his counsel and others refused.  In all of his ups and downs, joys and heartache... I can't help but wonder if he ever just needed some affirmation for his valiant efforts, some reassurance that he was a good father, a marvelous father, regardless of the choices his children were making. (If he lived down the street from me, I'd take a moment to tell him that.) ;)

• "Our worthiness will not be measured according to their righteousness. Lehi did not lose the blessing of feasting at the tree of life because Laman and Lemuel refused to partake of its fruit. Sometimes as parents we feel we have failed when our children make mistakes or stray. Parents are never failures when they do their best to love, teach, pray, and care for their children. Their faith, prayers, and efforts will be consecrated to the good of their children. "  - Elder Robert D. Hales

Also, if  Lehi were my neighbor, I think I'd encourage him with this too;

• "Remember, remember all the days of your [fatherhood]: 'Ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.'
• Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And 'press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.'  You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I offer my prayers for all those parents who strive so diligently to keep that brightness of hope alive in the midst of storms and pending gloom.  Keep shining!  Your light is seen by many and it warms their hearts... God will bless you for keeping that fire burning in your soul! It's beautiful!

-Alicia ;) 

Come Together

Organizing the inventory on the shelves in the back room of Sears shoe department was my responsibility when there were very few customers on the sales floor.  I was seventeen and though it wasn't the most exciting part-time work, it still gave me a paycheck.  I beat the boring doldrums in the backroom with my multi-cassette anthology album of The Beatles.  No doubt that when my headphones were in, I unknowingly serenaded a few passing customers to "Hey Jude."  I must have listened to that anthology a hundred times.  Something close to an obsession, I went through a phase of my own Beetle's mania.  Have you ever looked up the lyrics to "Come Together?" Yeah.... all this time, I've been singing it wrong.  I always wondered what it meant by, "hold you in his armchair or Morris Jumboo." (Those lyrics, even when they're sung right, never made sense anyway.)  Toe jam football?  Joo joo eyeballs?  Those guys were so high but I still loved them.

I seem to associate everything in life with music and for some reason, every time I hear a talk on unity or Zion, "Come Together" begins to play in my head (not exactly saturated with religious analogy, I know.) Even still, one morning, I thought it would make the perfect wake-up song to bring our kids out for family scripture study. so I turned on the living room speakers and I sang into the hall, "Come together, right now... and we'll read."  Don't try that at home, your kids will hate you forever.  (Just saying.) It was fun for me.

But speaking of coming together, of unity, and of studying scripture.  I've been thinking about the gathering that is happening in these last days.  Traveling to the United Nations and experiencing World Congress last year helped open my eyes to this incredible miracle that is happening right now.  People of all faiths and religions, Jews, Christians, and Muslims all working together to defend religious freedom and the family.

President Henry B. Eyring expounds on this principle:
"We see increased conflict between peoples in the world around us. Those divisions and differences could infect us. That is why my message of hope today is that a great day of unity is coming...

The Lord’s prophets have always called for unity. The need for that gift to be granted to us and the challenge to maintain it will grow greater in the days ahead, in which we will be prepared as a people for our glorious destiny....  
You have seen evidence, as I have, that we are moving toward becoming one. The miracle of unity is being granted to us as we pray and work for it in the Lord’s way. Our hearts will be knit together in unity. God has promised that blessing to His faithful Saints whatever their differences in background and whatever conflict rages around them. He was praying for us as well as His disciples when He asked His Father that we might be one. The reason that we pray and ask for that blessing is the same reason the Father is granting it. We know from experience that joy comes when we are blessed with unity."

Having our hearts and spirits knit together in purpose, in love, in light, and in truth is the way to joy.  I have experienced this for myself and know it to be true.
It's no coincidence to me that right smack in the middle of Lehi's and Nephi's vision of the Tree of Life, you find this verse, "And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, for they shall have the gift and the power of the Holly ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shall publish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be." - 1 Nephi 13:37

No matter how fiery the trial that comes, no matter the struggle, no matter the midst of darkness or the persecution that settles around us, I pray my heart will never lose courage.  I pray I will keep the vision of hope alive, the vision of Zion and trust that "They that be with us are more than they that be with them." (2 Kings 6:16.)  
For "There is hope smiling brightly before us, and we know that deliverance is nigh." -Hymn 19

-Alicia

Guardian Angels - Ponderize - Week 14

"Isn't faith believing

All power can't be seen..."

The first Sunday of this year started off in a wonderful way.  I've been thinking about guardian angels in my life. They are as real on earth as they are in heaven, though it takes faith to believe it.

I imagine that the angels we can't see view us much like someone looking through a glass window from an upper room.  We don't have any real proof they see us but we still somehow sense their benevolent watch. They hear us and observe quietly, yet most often from our vantage point, we can neither hear nor observe them in return.

Sometimes, they feel much closer to me than behind the glass of a distant window and I wonder how this is possible.  It's more like how the energy of the sun touches me: I can feel its warmth even though it's 93 million miles away.  The rays penetrate deep inside me from the top of my head clear down to my feet.  Such a presence is so close that it's undeniable!  I feel the sun though I cannot touch it.  I am comforted and content knowing that this beautiful radiant light will always be there in my sky even when it has set beyond the horizon and my eyes are dimmed by the dark of night.  Then, I will look up into the ocean of stars and see that the sun has not passed away, it has not diminished or faded.  Rather, it has multiplied beyond number in glorious splendor.

"Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them." - 2 Kings 6:16

-Alicia

Keep Shining!

 So grateful for my friends who make my life a little brighter by shining the light of Christ in their life!

This song goes out to them.  Thank you for blessing me.  You truly are the light of the world.

"Somebody needs you more than you know, 

Ignite and watch it glow beyond this world

Shining like diamonds and gold!"

"Beyond This World" by, Shonlock

Dispelling Darkness

It was a rough Sunday afternoon for me one week ago.  Seemingly out of nowhere, I had been seized with a midst of darkness that choked me with feelings of deep despair.  No matter how I viewed myself all I could see were flaws, weaknesses, and every possible area that I was lacking as a mother, a wife, a daughter... you name it.

The very next morning I received a letter from my dear nephew, Dane. He described much of what weighed on my heart the day before.  How timely his letter was! I related to almost every word.  I was grateful for his willingness to be so real and express honestly what we often guard so closely.  We both had experienced a shroud of darkness and we both experieced peace restored through the grace of our Savior.   I love Dane's writings, how he poetically articulates expressions of his heart.  I've included part of his letter at the end of this post.

This evening, our Home Teachers shared the First Presidency Message with our family.  I especially appreciated what President Uchtdorf said about keeping our torches lit.  It reminded me of the promise I had received years ago in my patriarchal blessing, "Never any day will you need to walk in darkness but will have the light of truth in your life."  I believe this blessing is available to all of us!

"Sometimes after stumbling, failing, or even giving up, we get discouraged and believe our light has gone out and our race is lost. But I testify that the Light of Christ cannot be extinguished. It shines in the darkest night and will relight our hearts if only we incline our hearts to Him (see 1 Kings 8:58).

As long as we continue to rise up and move toward our Savior, we win the race with our torches burning brightly.

For the torch is not about us or about what we do.

It is about the Savior of the world.

And that is a Light that can never be dimmed. It is a Light that swallows the darkness, heals our wounds, and blazes even in the midst of the deepest sorrow and unfathomable darkness.

It is a Light that surpasses understanding." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I love the access we have to our Father in Heaven.  I love that He is approachable, that the darkness of despair in our lives can be dispelled whenever we turn to Him and we can again raise our torches high.  It's all because of the One who knows us and Who gives us strength when we are weak and hope when we are hurting. Through the grace of Christ we can be renewed and do all things that are required of us.

-Alicia

Beautiful testimony from my nephew, Dane (Elder Whitaker):

Last week I suffered a lot of needless pain. Every turn seemed like a wrong choice and every thought a grapple within myself for control. I couldn't say why--we had a bad week, I guess, but I think I rocked the boat a lot more than necessary. With the end approaching, weaknesses and faults weighing on me, the aching miles looming behind, and the million rejections and lost appointments whirling around me like harpies, I allowed myself to slide into a self-destructive cycle. I think I've probed more deeply within myself during these 20 months than at any other point in my life. I've discovered depths of darkness and glorious rays of sunshine I never knew before.

So yesterday I was reading in Helaman 5 and the relevance of the Lamanites' conversion in the prison struck me more clearly than before. They saw Nephi and Lehi wreathed in harmless fire, and later, conversing with angels. Yet terror and darkness immobilized them and distanced them from a glorious happening. Others were having highly spiritual experiences and they were firmly wrapped in confusion and despair, so thick they hadn't even the power to escape one step. I know that feeling. A voice came to them declaring repentance, in fact that message came four times--count it--and they didn't grasp the meaning until the fourth time, when Aminadab repeated it to them.

Seek no more to destroy my servants, was His invitation. I realized that seeking to destroy oneself in the service of God is just as wrong as seeking the downfall of His ministers. Even if I wasn't deliberately seeking my destruction, I was letting dark thoughts cloud my judgement. And that will only lead to unhealed spiritual wounds. The message to repent didn't glare at or criticize me, it just invited softly. So what's the solution; how is the overpowering cloud dispersed? By repenting, by crying unto God until I have faith in Christ. If my faith is faltering, then I can at least rely on the desire to believe, the hope that draws light in and dispels the shadows. After crying for a time, the Lamanites also received the Spirit, joy, peace, and I, too, can. I prayed then with new hope, asking for faith. I felt peace and faith restored to me.

-Dane

The Soul of Man Has Been Given Wings

When my oldest son was around one year old, I decided to read the book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. It's a short read but teaches an eternal lesson about our individual worth and the power of desire and faith.  Every time I think of the soul of man flying, I remember this book and the parable of the seagull who learned to rise above his fears, his circumstances, his limitations, his sorrow, and explore a world of new and endless possiblities.

"Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to fly."

(Richard Bach - Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

This "way to fly" facinates me.  It is built into our spiritual DNA, it's what we're born to do.  We are not creatures of this world... We're only "strangers passing through." (1 Chronicles 29:15)  Our real home is heaven. (Hebrews 13:14)  We must lift our eyes to who we really are and who we really will be. (Jacob 4:13).

No matter how dark this world ever  becomes or the struggles we might be called to face in the future, I pray we will never lose hope.  God is aware of us, He hears our prayers and every ache we can't express.  He pours out His Grace & His words like rain in a dessert land, and will safely guide us through.  All will be well.  No matter what happens or how our lives unfold, whether it is what we expect or not, there is a bright and gloriously happy future ahead. We can trust this!

To all of those I love,

"...Can you hear me? 

Wherever you are look up... 

The clouds are lifting.  

The sun is breaking through.

We are coming out of the darkness and into the light.  

We are coming into a new world, a kindly world, 

Where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality.

Look up... 

The soul of man has been given wings 

and at last he is begining to fly!  

He is flying into the rainbow, into the Light of hope, 

Into the future, the glorious future 

That belongs to you, to me, and to all of us!  

Look up... look up!"

- (Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator)

Keep your eyes open and fixed on God above, on the Light of hope. If we are constantly  striving to love as He loves, to learn of Him, to learn meekness... then our heavenly home will be as close as we believe it to be.

Always remember,
"To fly as fast as thought, to anywhere that is, you must begin by knowing that you have already arrived."

- (Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

-Alicia