Above the Nay-saying and Pessimism

Yesterday, I attended the funeral for a young man, Jeromiah, who passed away a few short months from turning twenty due to complications he suffered with muscular dystrophy.  He had been diagnosed at the age of three and as each year passed, the disease took over his ability to walk, his ability to move his arms, his ability to speak very well, and eventually his entire body--except for very slight movements in a couple fingers. Spending most of his life in a quadriplegic wheelchair, this courageous young man refused to let his spirit be confined.  He graduated from college, was a graphic designer, a blogger, and was preparing to serve a mission for the Church. 

This excerpt from his Salutatory Address inspires me so much.  He said, "Let us be proactive and independent in our minds and motivations, above the nay-saying and pessimism we are sure to encounter. But let us still depend on those who care about us. May we be dependable citizens and reliable community members, to support each other as we go forth into the world and change it for the better." - Jeromiah Drennan

And he certainly changed the world for the better. I'm sure Jeromiah had his days where he struggled to live his own counsel but his accomplishments are proof that he truly practiced what he preached.

It's no surpise to me that he loved the book, Man's Search for Meaning. He completely understood that "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." - Victor Frankl

Reflecting on all that was shared at the funeral yesterday, I'm compelled to ask myself, "What level of gratitude is in my heart and how can I avoid nay-saying and pessimism? Where do I limit myself? What practices, habits, or self-talk will free my spirit from being confined by the forces of opposition in my life?" 

One other quote given at the services yesterday was this description of the highest education by President Hinckley. I believe this education is more readily achieved when we grasp our true spiritual identity and the true spiritual identity of everyone around us--the untouchable portion of our soul that is of infinite worth to our loving Father in Heaven.

"Each day we are made increasingly aware of the fact that life is more than science and mathematics, more than history and literature. There is need for another education, without which the substance of secular learning may lead only to destruction. I refer to the education of the heart, of the conscience, of the character, of the spirit—these indefinable aspects of our personalities which determine so certainly what we are and what we do in our relationships one with another." - President Gordon B. Hinckley

What beautiful tributes were made to celebrate the life of Jeromiah yesterday! Physically limited but not spiritually bound, this young man may have had a completely immovable body - but oh how his spirit SOARED!!

-Alicia

Feels more like falling...

Today was a little rough. Actually, this past week has been more rough than usual. (And that's saying something) I think I've been feeling a little guilty for the time it takes to care for the foster kids and I worry that my biological children feel slighted or pushed off to the side. I had a team meeting on Monday, my foster son's school performance on Tuesday, a DSFS evaluation for two hours on Wednesday, and they've just increased the required parent visits to a total of four hours a week, plus preschool with mom so she can receive parental training with her own daughter which adds up to an additional 9 hours a week.

Now, I get that more parent/child time is needed since the end goal is to reunite these kids with their biological family but it makes the foster kids more emotional, more confused, more difficult to redirect.

I've been so concerned about making sure my own biological children don't feel neglected as I try to work through these issues with the fosters. I've forced myself to stay up past midnight several nights in a row because that's the only time I'll get to just scratch their backs one by one and talk to the children.

I asked some questions on our support group page and immediately a whole bunch of other foster parents chimed in to give their encouragement and validation.  

A foster mom related, "One thing that one of my bio children said to me this past summer was, 'You don't know what it's like to share your mom with someone else!' Until that point, I didn't understand her frustration, now I am very careful with how much time is spent with each bio/adopted and foster children. It is a very fine line to walk so that your own children do not build resentment towards you. Foster Care is the hardest thing I have done in my life.  

Dozens of comments came back where I knew I had a community who understood my concerns completely.  

A couple of comments were a little more light-hearted like this one from a foster dad, 

"We thought that as long as the foster kids were little, and younger than our bio kids, then there would be no problems. Bwahahahahaha!"

Others shared ideas of how to unify our family and nourish each relationship, to help create bonds with the bios and the fosters. I'm excited to try some of the ideas. 

One particular woman's comments were so great that I had to visit her profile page.  There, I discovered this cool photo I have displayed at the top of this post: "Sometime's you gotta fall before you fly."

*Sigh* - Jumping in with both feet can be a little scary.... It's the story of my life though.

"Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the ability to act in spite of it." - anonymous 

-Alicia

Even Superman

I must have been about 6 or 7 years old when I had this dream: I had it a few times and so I've never forgotten it: I was walking up the hill towards my school and was several blocks away when out of the blue, Superman swooped me into his arms. We were flying just above the trees and I was stunned with disbelief at who was carrying me. I asked him, "Where are we going?" And he answered as if it should have been obvious, "Why to school, of course!" Then he flew a little lower to the trees and plucked me a banana.  I thanked him for the gift and said, "I just love bananas." He smiled dashingly and responded, "I know."

At that age, I was crazy in love with Christopher Reeve and my brother had a Superman poster of him in his room that I constantly gawked at. I’m sure it was just the result of me watching one too many Superman movies while eating peanut butter-banana sandwiches before bedtime. Either way, this is most certainly where my obsession began.

1996

 In 1996, about 11 years after my dream of flying to school with my favorite hero, I started signing my name with a star, symbolically meant to fit the Superman symbol at the center.

Through all these years, I've never stopped signing my name with that special star because I believed in a power within me, a power that reaches beyond anything in this world.

This morning I studied in Personal Progress under Individual Worth.  The value goal encouraged us to study our patriarchal blessings along with a few conference talks on the subject of our divine mission.  Whatever the Lord calls us to do in life, I believe He qualifies us for.  I believe that through His strength, all things are possible, even the seemingly insurmountable.

Audrey Hepburn once said, "There is no such thing as impossible, the word itself says, 'I'm possible'"  I believe this is true not because of our own making but because we are sons and daughters of God, the most powerful being in the universe!  It's humbling, when you really think about it (and that's not a bad thing, it's good to be humble.)  We are less than dust without Him and we should recognize this everyday and always... but I don't think He wants us to forget our true identity.  We are not of this world, we are "spiritual beings having a human experience."  I guess you could say that's what the  "S" in my signature has come to mean "Spirit daughter of God." Or "Strength in the Savior."

Yesterday, I was depressed because I have this dream of changing the world (even if it's just one person at a time) and well...  I felt like in my sincere effort, all the doors were being slammed in my face.

The Relief Society Lesson from Howard W. Hunter on Adversity was encouraging for me.  "Doors close regularly in our lives, and some of those closings cause genuine pain and heartache. But I do believe that where one such door closes, another opens (and perhaps more than one), with hope and blessings in other areas of our lives that we might not have discovered otherwise." I reflected on this quote again and again.  Soon these words from one of my favorite Ryan Shupe songs began to play over in my mind as if it was on repeat:

"Give me eyes to see 

to perceive, to believe, to imagine the possibility 

the possibilities"

I prayed, "What is there to discover?  What is there to learn?  What other doors will open because of the ones that have been shut?  If I've hit a wall it just means there's another way through it."  The Lord doesn't send us on missions to fail. The Lord has shown me glimpses of what He expects of me and I've been giving it my very best shot.  Heaven knows I have. But sometimes I question my very best efforts especially when I keep getting shut out.  Why do I keep trying?

As I studied about patriarchal blessings this morning and my particular mission, the words from the song danced around in my head again:

"Give me eyes to see 

to perceive, to believe, to imagine the possibility 

the possibilities"

I finally went to my Spotify to play it in full. In doing so, it drew me into more Ryan Shupe songs and I couldn't help but reminisce on another favorite of mine.  It just seemed appropriate with all that I've been feeling.

I know who I am. I am a daughter of God with incredible worth and power because of His grace and the capital "S" that is part of my very being.  However hard I try, I can't do it on my own.  I get discouraged sometimes from the hurt and pain the effort causes and need to remind myself that it's for my good.   Rejection, weaknesses, difficulties, misunderstandings, and sorrow all help to keep me humble and on my knees before the One who makes all things possible for me.  I just need to remember this.

"Even giants fall

And every dog eventually has its day

And Achilles has a heel

And even bones of steel can break

And even Superman, even Superman

Even Superman, even Superman, yeah

'Cause even Superman has kryptonite

And though he tries with all his might

Even Superman falls to his knees

Beggin', "Please, please, please, please"

"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

With my Savior... I'll make it through whatever changes may come. 

-Alicia

The Way to Fly

I love this scripture, this is where we find the wings to fly.  This is what it means to be "lifted up."

  "Cry unto God for all thy support: yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.  Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be LIFTED UP at the last day." - Alma 37:36

-Alicia

Soar

by, Meredith Andrews

Here I remind myself

What you said over me

Here I remind my soul

Who you are

You said you won't relent

Won't let go, won't forget

Every promise you have whispered to my heart

As I wait, as I wait on You

I'm gonna run and not grow weary

I'm gonna walk and not grow faint

Rise up on wings like eagles to soar

I know in everything You're with me

I know You're working as I wait

Lift me up on wings like eagles to soar

This desert holds a song I will sing on and on

You're a river when the ground I walk is dry

You will set the crooked straight

Clear my path, make a way

You will lead me from the valley to the heights

As I wait, as I wait on You

Creator, keeper, life breather

Your name is greater than anything I face

Sustainer, savior, stronghold breaker

Your name is greater than anything I face

As I wait, as I wait on You

I will wait, I will wait on You

The Soul of Man Has Been Given Wings

When my oldest son was around one year old, I decided to read the book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. It's a short read but teaches an eternal lesson about our individual worth and the power of desire and faith.  Every time I think of the soul of man flying, I remember this book and the parable of the seagull who learned to rise above his fears, his circumstances, his limitations, his sorrow, and explore a world of new and endless possiblities.

"Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to fly."

(Richard Bach - Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

This "way to fly" facinates me.  It is built into our spiritual DNA, it's what we're born to do.  We are not creatures of this world... We're only "strangers passing through." (1 Chronicles 29:15)  Our real home is heaven. (Hebrews 13:14)  We must lift our eyes to who we really are and who we really will be. (Jacob 4:13).

No matter how dark this world ever  becomes or the struggles we might be called to face in the future, I pray we will never lose hope.  God is aware of us, He hears our prayers and every ache we can't express.  He pours out His Grace & His words like rain in a dessert land, and will safely guide us through.  All will be well.  No matter what happens or how our lives unfold, whether it is what we expect or not, there is a bright and gloriously happy future ahead. We can trust this!

To all of those I love,

"...Can you hear me? 

Wherever you are look up... 

The clouds are lifting.  

The sun is breaking through.

We are coming out of the darkness and into the light.  

We are coming into a new world, a kindly world, 

Where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality.

Look up... 

The soul of man has been given wings 

and at last he is begining to fly!  

He is flying into the rainbow, into the Light of hope, 

Into the future, the glorious future 

That belongs to you, to me, and to all of us!  

Look up... look up!"

- (Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator)

Keep your eyes open and fixed on God above, on the Light of hope. If we are constantly  striving to love as He loves, to learn of Him, to learn meekness... then our heavenly home will be as close as we believe it to be.

Always remember,
"To fly as fast as thought, to anywhere that is, you must begin by knowing that you have already arrived."

- (Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

-Alicia

Child of Light

With our girls at church today, we discussed preparations for our upcoming Young Women's in Excellence night. Memories from 10 years previous came into my mind of planning for the very same thing when I was serving in another ward YW's presidency...  I couldn't help but remember this song "Child of Light." It was a song I had discovered from an album written for 2004's EFY .  We used it with our girls the following January to sing for their special program.  I'd love our young women in my ward now to sing it sometime. I think it's absolutely beautiful!  I love it because it proclaims two truths about our identity - We were made to fly and we were meant to shine!  It is woven into our spiritual DNA!  We are literal sons and daughters of God, the Father of Light.  Do we realize the power we have been endowed with? How differently would we view one another, the stranger, the outcast, the sinner and the saint... if we could always see ourselves and everyone around us through this lens of truth?

"Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day" 

- 1 Thessalonians 5:5

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." 

- Isaiah 40:31

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

I'm a believer!!
-Alicia

Child of Light

by, Mindy Gledhill

Do you ever wonder who you are

do your ever wonder as you stare into the stars

Where you began

And how you got this far

from home?

Have you ever walked along the shore

Have you ever seen the water dancing back and forth

Did you look inside

To see if there was more to life

There's a dream taking wing

There's a voice that wants to sing

Even in the deepest darkest night

The Torch is raised to the sky

There are hands that hold it high

You were born to keep it burning bright

You were made to fly you were meant to shine

Child of light

You will never ever stand alone

You were never called to bare your burdens on your own

Where there's fear

Love will take control

And lead you on

There's a dream taking wing

There's a voice that wants to sing

Even in the deepest darkest night

The Torch is raised to the sky

There are hands that hold it high

You were born to keep it burning bright

You were made to fly you were meant to shine

Child of light

Born to Fly

I've had this old favorite Christian hymn of mine playing in my head these last several days, I'll Fly Away.  I suppose it's because I've been thinking of "A Living Prayer" by, Alison Krauss and she sings both of these.

When we are born into this world, it's expected of us to learn to walk and eventually run.  But could it be possible our earth-bound souls have been created for more than this?

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin observed:

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience,"  

With this in mind and the lyrics to that old Gospel hymn, I've been thinking of what it means to fly.

"Some bright morning when this life is over

I'll fly away

To that home on Gods celestial shore

I'll fly away"

It's a description of an angel's transition from this mortal place to their heavenly home.  Many Christian religions believe angels actually have wings.

"We know through the Prophet Joseph Smith that “an angel of God never has wings” (History of the Church, 3:392), most depictions of them show them with wings, and some scriptures describe them as having wings. Why?"

I love the answer to this question.

"Wings represent 'power, to move, to act' (D&C 77:4). Prophets who described angels as having wings (see, for instance, Isaiah 6:2) may have referred to wings in order to communicate these ideas figuratively." - David A. Edwards- Dec. 2014 Ensign

When we understand that the wings are a representation of the power to move and act, the imagery of the hymn is beautiful and takes on a higher and more holy meaning.  We come to understand more the identity of the spirit that lives within us.  We were made for so much more than walking and running... we were truly "born to fly."  

In the book of Revelation it says,

" I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people, Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters." - Revelation 14:6-7

Who is the angel spoken of in this verse?  It's Moroni.  

Most definitely, he exemplified a life of 'power, to move and act' in the saving doctrines of the Gospel.  He lived it with his whole soul, even when he was the last one standing.  The everlasting truths of salvation were etched in his courageous and valiant heart.  And listen to this… at the end of his life, Moroni seems to echo that old Gospel hymn, "I soon go to rest in the paradise of God, until my spirit and body shall again reunite, and I am brought forth triumphant through the air" - He knew he was born to fly. 

I love what my religion professor shared this morning about this incredible man: "Oh how I love the Angel Moroni. Once he was the loneliest of lonely and now he stands atop the Temples as a symbol of gathering." -  Jennifer Platt

This wonderful prophet of God calls for us to "awake, and arise from the dust" (Moroni 10:31).  In other words he's saying, "Jump up with both feet, brothers and sisters.  Jump off the ground and rise to what you were born to do... to move and act in power, the power of God fearlessly and full of faith.  FLY!"  His spirit lives within us. This is who we are meant to become.

-Alicia

There truly are angels among us! I don't just believe it, I know!

Angels Among Us - by, Alabama