Even Superman

I must have been about 6 or 7 years old when I had this dream: I had it a few times and so I've never forgotten it: I was walking up the hill towards my school and was several blocks away when out of the blue, Superman swooped me into his arms. We were flying just above the trees and I was stunned with disbelief at who was carrying me. I asked him, "Where are we going?" And he answered as if it should have been obvious, "Why to school, of course!" Then he flew a little lower to the trees and plucked me a banana.  I thanked him for the gift and said, "I just love bananas." He smiled dashingly and responded, "I know."

At that age, I was crazy in love with Christopher Reeve and my brother had a Superman poster of him in his room that I constantly gawked at. I’m sure it was just the result of me watching one too many Superman movies while eating peanut butter-banana sandwiches before bedtime. Either way, this is most certainly where my obsession began.

1996

 In 1996, about 11 years after my dream of flying to school with my favorite hero, I started signing my name with a star, symbolically meant to fit the Superman symbol at the center.

Through all these years, I've never stopped signing my name with that special star because I believed in a power within me, a power that reaches beyond anything in this world.

This morning I studied in Personal Progress under Individual Worth.  The value goal encouraged us to study our patriarchal blessings along with a few conference talks on the subject of our divine mission.  Whatever the Lord calls us to do in life, I believe He qualifies us for.  I believe that through His strength, all things are possible, even the seemingly insurmountable.

Audrey Hepburn once said, "There is no such thing as impossible, the word itself says, 'I'm possible'"  I believe this is true not because of our own making but because we are sons and daughters of God, the most powerful being in the universe!  It's humbling, when you really think about it (and that's not a bad thing, it's good to be humble.)  We are less than dust without Him and we should recognize this everyday and always... but I don't think He wants us to forget our true identity.  We are not of this world, we are "spiritual beings having a human experience."  I guess you could say that's what the  "S" in my signature has come to mean "Spirit daughter of God." Or "Strength in the Savior."

Yesterday, I was depressed because I have this dream of changing the world (even if it's just one person at a time) and well...  I felt like in my sincere effort, all the doors were being slammed in my face.

The Relief Society Lesson from Howard W. Hunter on Adversity was encouraging for me.  "Doors close regularly in our lives, and some of those closings cause genuine pain and heartache. But I do believe that where one such door closes, another opens (and perhaps more than one), with hope and blessings in other areas of our lives that we might not have discovered otherwise." I reflected on this quote again and again.  Soon these words from one of my favorite Ryan Shupe songs began to play over in my mind as if it was on repeat:

"Give me eyes to see 

to perceive, to believe, to imagine the possibility 

the possibilities"

I prayed, "What is there to discover?  What is there to learn?  What other doors will open because of the ones that have been shut?  If I've hit a wall it just means there's another way through it."  The Lord doesn't send us on missions to fail. The Lord has shown me glimpses of what He expects of me and I've been giving it my very best shot.  Heaven knows I have. But sometimes I question my very best efforts especially when I keep getting shut out.  Why do I keep trying?

As I studied about patriarchal blessings this morning and my particular mission, the words from the song danced around in my head again:

"Give me eyes to see 

to perceive, to believe, to imagine the possibility 

the possibilities"

I finally went to my Spotify to play it in full. In doing so, it drew me into more Ryan Shupe songs and I couldn't help but reminisce on another favorite of mine.  It just seemed appropriate with all that I've been feeling.

I know who I am. I am a daughter of God with incredible worth and power because of His grace and the capital "S" that is part of my very being.  However hard I try, I can't do it on my own.  I get discouraged sometimes from the hurt and pain the effort causes and need to remind myself that it's for my good.   Rejection, weaknesses, difficulties, misunderstandings, and sorrow all help to keep me humble and on my knees before the One who makes all things possible for me.  I just need to remember this.

"Even giants fall

And every dog eventually has its day

And Achilles has a heel

And even bones of steel can break

And even Superman, even Superman

Even Superman, even Superman, yeah

'Cause even Superman has kryptonite

And though he tries with all his might

Even Superman falls to his knees

Beggin', "Please, please, please, please"

"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

With my Savior... I'll make it through whatever changes may come. 

-Alicia