Light the World

Today is the day: The worldwide day of service! 

From now until Christmas, we will consciously look for ways to reach and serve people in a way we would imagine the Savior doing. 

From my own experiences, I'm FOREVER grateful and will always hold in my heart those who have shined their LIGHT in my life and made my world so much brighter.

Dec. 1:  Jesus lifted other's burdens. What will you do today to lift another's burden?

#LIGHTtheWorld

Light the World 

Calendar

Opinion Editorial - What's On The Label?

Well, I have some good news... My professor loved my opinion editorial! I was not expecting the response that she gave me at all.  I'm just glad I made it over this hurtle...

What’s On the Label?

Several years ago, my second child went through a “creative” stage where she would   rustle through the pantry tearing off labels from cans and replacing them with “her own labels” constructed from crayon-scribbled typing paper. I thought her entertainment was adorably amusing until I found myself in a situation where I actually needed what was in those cans: after opening four various types of beans, I finally found the stewed tomatoes. We use food and manufacture labels every day, and we’ve come to rely very heavily on them, because we anticipate these labels will give us accurate information about the contents and quality of the items we are presented with. We use labels with people, too; some reveal the true content and quality of another person, which can foster charitable actions, connectivity, and good feelings, while other labels can falsely twist our view of people--breeding hurt, anger, bitterness, unnecessary pain, and divisiveness.  In order for the atmosphere of belonging and community to thrive at BYU, it is vital that we seek out and choose labels with integrity rather than distortion, labels that connect instead of labels that divide.  

I never heard the term “Utah Mormon” so much until just over eight years ago when I moved from West Jordan to Provo for my husband and me to attend school. I’ve discovered one of the most common questions living in an international university community is, “Where are you from?” When I respond proudly with, “I grew up in Utah, born and raised,” there is often an uncomfortable silence--though it may be brief--and I can almost hear the unspoken reaction, “Oh, you’re one of those.”

For the longest time, I struggled to understand what “one of those” meant as the term “Utah Mormon” showed up in more conversations, stamping all who were raised here like they had some kind of quarantined disease. It has forced me to ask, “Why, among people of my own faith, does this label cause a person to instantly lose credibility?” I discovered this is a very negative reference created to describe people who have been terribly sheltered, have no sense of diversity, who live in a bubble, and are perfectionists stuck in a rut of weird culture that they self-righteously impose on everyone around them. They insist on perpetuating traditions merely to appease the expectations of their parents, and their parent’s parents--all the way back to their  first pioneers who initially settled here, for surely their family must be Mormons for generations and have no clue what it’s like to be or live anywhere else. (Never mind the fact that my mom is a convert from Wisconsin and my dad’s mom is a convert from North Carolina.)

Even though categorizing those who are born and raised here under these sweeping generalizations proves to be narrow-minded and prejudice, I really don’t believe that the majority of those who use the “Utah Mormon” label do it with malicious intent. Maybe they honestly feel it truthfully fits? Possibly, they’ve witnessed a sad experience where Mormons from Utah purposefully withheld their kindness or neighborliness to another when they didn’t measure up to their valued life-standards: like the young man who returned home early from a mission (or who didn’t serve one at all), the single mother who has been married and divorced three times, the gay couple next-door, the family across the street who likes Obama, Hillary, and all things Democrat, or the guy who smells like cigarettes and has tattoos up and down his arm.

Though I’m sure self-righteousness of this nature exists, I theorize that it’s not fair to label such rejection problems as a Utah thing; I believe it’s a human thing and that in any given community where there is a popular majority or practice of culture, there will be people who ostracize or needlessly fear the ones who are different or who go against the grain. And before I cast a stone at those people, conscience reminds me that, as a mom, I too struggle when my teenagers “go against the grain”: Unconditional love is so much easier in theory than in practice.

Nevertheless, it’s a theory we must practice, and we must never quit! We must try over and over again, day after day, to love and look for the good in everyone, no matter how different they are from us, no matter where they’re from, what they believe or don’t believe, what they’ve done or haven’t done; This is “the good fight” Paul talks about in 1st Timothy¹. We shouldn’t war among each other.

            As members of the Church and as students at BYU, one of our most important battles is to push back the conversations that breed contention, discord, and divisiveness.  We do this by fighting with all our might to “implore the better angels of our nature”² and preserve the love Jesus Christ exemplified; His love endures forever and never throws in the towel on anyone. Just as there came a time when I needed what was in those cans from my pantry, I believe there comes a time in every life that we realize we need each other with all our various “ingredients”. The Book of Genesis teaches, “It is not good for man [or woman] to be alone.”³ We are all “children of the day”⁴, children of our Father in Heaven, brothers and sisters; we are one big massive family! I believe this means each of us are divinely wired with a desire to belong, to fit in, to feel loved and accepted.

I recall the 1980’s T.V. theme song from Cheers: “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came.”⁵ This is true no matter where we live; we all need community and connection. Thankfully, all belong with God.  Joseph Smith taught this hopeful message, “…While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; He views them as His offspring, and without any of those contracted feelings that influence the children of men…”⁶

Unfortunately, living among the influence of this world, we feed and grow these “contracted feelings” especially when we move away from the core truths of who we really are inside: We are a family, first and foremost--eternal brothers and sisters! Most of us have a sibling or two who have chosen a different path than that of our parents or ourselves, but we still find a way to include them in family dinners, birthdays, special occasions, conversations, visits, and phone calls. This is what family is! There is no reason for any members to feel as if they don’t have a home, and we must do everything we can to let them know they are loved, without adopting their way of life or expecting them to adopt ours.

All of my siblings have chosen a different path than I chose. They all left the church around twenty years ago: they all drink, they all smoke, they all have tattoos, one lived an alternative lifestyle with her girlfriend, and two of my three siblings don’t believe in God anymore. Have I rejected them? Heck, no!!! (And yes, I use the good old “Utah Mormon” word “heck” proudly!) I would give everything I own to keep my brothers and sisters in my life! I need them. They are my friends.

I certainly needed my older brother’s knowhow and mechanic expertise when the starter in my car blew out. I’ll never forget how he stayed up late in my driveway tirelessly helping me after he already had a grueling long day at work. In turn, he needed me when he injured his leg doing construction and was stuck in bed for a couple weeks; I brought him his favorite meal, Poppy-seed Chicken Casserole, and a plate of heart-shaped sugar cookies.

I need my sister’s example of gentleness and love to the weak and elderly. She’s been employed as a recreational therapist in a care center for the past two-and-a-half decades. I’ll never forget the first time I witnessed her so intently impart her love to one of the patients. He was paralyzed from the neck down, his hands clenched in tight fists, his body twisted; drool and crusted-food surrounded his mouth, and the smell of urine made him unpleasant to stand next to. Yet, I was in awe as I watched my sister chat with him like a dear friend. When their visit was over, she cradled his head in her hand and kissed him gently on the forehead. He bubbled over with joy because she treated him with so much dignity. My sister needed me when she became terribly depressed after escaping another abusive relationship. I was a shoulder for her to cry on, and I was there to remind her that her life was worth living, that she was valuable beyond measure, and that she was loved.

I needed my younger brother to call me for an hour on my birthday just to remind me that I am dearly loved and that he thinks of me often. And he needed me to call him after he found out his wife was pregnant with her second child and he was dealing with all the doubt, fear, pressure, and anxiety that comes to a father who works 50 to 60 hours a week because he wants so desperately to provide comfortable living for his children.

With my siblings, I strive to remember that we need each other because we are family. I have high standards, yes, and I never intend to compromise my faith that the Church is true and the principles taught in the scriptures and by apostles are also true. I never intend to change my lifestyle or spiritual commitments to the Gospel. Keeping this in mind, one of the sweetest truths I’ve come to know in this church is the worth of the soul. Worth is not the same as worthiness. (There is danger when we confuse these two.) Our worth never changes or fluctuates based off of what we say or do or don’t say or do. My husband and I created a mission statement with several affirmations that we repeat weekly in our home with our children. One of those affirmations states, “We choose to look for the good in others and in ourselves ALWAYS remembering ‘the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.’⁷” The Book of Mormon teaches that we “shall not forbid any man from coming unto you when ye shall meet together, but suffer them that they may come unto you and forbid them not; But ye shall pray for them, and shall not cast them out.”⁸

If there’s anything that should be cast out or that shouldn’t “fit in”, it’s the hurtful labels, the beam in our own eye. Stop the nitpicking and judging on both sides of the spectrum. No one likes to be labeled a failure or lose credibility due to a prejudice or bias. I honestly and deeply believe we find what we look for.... and what we discover reflects more on who we are than who the other person is. President Hinckley wisely taught, “When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles.”⁹ All of us have something good to offer if we will just learn to appreciate it and cultivate it. We need what is deep inside each other, the light we ALL were born with.

Works Cited

⁽¹⁾ The Apostle Paul - 1 Timothy 6:12 ⁽²⁾ Abraham Lincoln – His First Inaugural Address ⁽³⁾ The Lord God - Genesis 2:18 ⁽⁴⁾ The Apostle Paul - 1 Thessalonians 5:5 ⁽⁵⁾ Theme song from 1980’s television sitcom Cheers - written by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo ⁽⁶⁾ Joseph Smith - Times and Seasons, Apr. 15, 1842, p. 759 ⁽⁷⁾ Revelation to Joseph Smith - D&C 18:10 ⁽⁸⁾ Jesus – 3 Nephi 18:22 ⁽⁹⁾ President Gordon B. Hinkley – Loyalty -April 2003 General Conference Talk 

"There is a God in Heaven" - Ponderize - Week 36

"...We know that there is a God in heaven, who is infinite and eternal, from everlasting to everlasting the same unchangeable God, the framer of heaven and earth, and all things which are in them." D&C 20:17

In my studies this morning, I came across this scripture I've just quoted. All day, I've been thinking about what a blessing it is to know that there is a God in Heaven and that He knows each and every one of us, that we are His literal spirit children, and that He is deeply and intimately involved in every detail of our lives. What comfort this gives in all our various struggles and trials we face.

Tonight, I found this 2 minute video clip on the LDS youth page.  It fits perfectly!

It reminds me of a quote from Our Creator's Cosmos by Elder Neal A. Maxwell:
"In the expansiveness of space, there is stunning personalness, for God knows and loves each of us! (see 1 Nephi 11:17). We are not ciphers in unexplained space! While the Psalmist’s query was, “What is man, that thou art mindful of him?” (Psalm 8:4), mankind is at the very center of God’s work. We are the sheep of His hand and the people of His pasture (see Psalms 79:13; 95:7; 100:3). His work includes our immortalization—accomplished by Christ’s glorious Atonement! Think of it, brothers and sisters, even with their extensive longevity, stars are not immortal, but you are."

There's a song I listen to on my Christian radio station. If you look up the lyrics, they might seem a little repetitive but honestly, I find them powerful.  You can't help but rejoice when you sing these words over and over again.

Our God

"Into the darkness you shine out of the ashes we rise
there's no one like you, none like You!

Our God is greater, our God is stronger,
God you are higher than any other.

Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!...

...And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.

And if our God is with us, then what could stand against."

Anyway, I look at Who we have constantly cheering us on and I can't help but think, "What is there to fear? He's got us!  He has everything under control. He knows exactly what He's doing and He's doing amazing things with our lives we can't even begin to comprehend."  I love this!

-Alicia :)

Clothed, Clothes, and Clothing

What is it about clothing that is so significant with God... and also with the Adversary?  
How is it used to teach us? 
What are some examples of the Lord's way and Satan's way?

It's as old as man on the earth.  When Adam and Eve discovered they were naked in the Garden of Eden,"they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons" (Genesis 3:7)  But interestingly, fig leaves irritate the skin with rashes and blisters (not exactly the kind of clothing I would prefer).

Contrast this with God's approach.  He was merciful to Adam and Eve and unto them "did... make coats of skins, and clothed them." (Genesis 3:21)...What kind of skin? Sheep skin.

In my scripture study this morning, I took note of scriptures that made reference to clothing, clothes or being clothed.  I find it very interesting, especially in these last days, to see  how it is used in these varying contexts.

In the Life of Christ

• Wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger. (Luke 2:7)
• When Jesus entered Jerusalem on the colt, the people rejoiced at His coming and "spread their clothes in the way." (Luke 19:36)
• The Roman soldiers mocked Jesus and "They clothed Him with purple, and plaited a crown of thorns, and put it about His head." (Mark 15:17)
• After the death of Christ on the cross, the Savior's body was "wrapped in clean linen." (Matt 27:59)
• When the Savior comes again, those same twelve apostles who were with Him in his ministry will stand on His right hand "being clothed with robes of righteousness". (D&C 29:12)

Identity Crisis

• "The silks and the scarlets, and the fine-twined linen, and the precious clothing, and the harlots, are the desires of this great and abominable church." (1 Nephi 13:8)
• "They rob the poor because of their fine clothing; and they persecute the meek and the poor in heart, because in their pride they are puffed up." (2 Nephi 28:13)
• Alma rebukes the people and asks, "can ye be puffed up in the pride of your hearts; yea, will ye still persist in the wearing of costly apparel and setting your hearts upon the vain things of the world, upon your riches?" (Alma 5:53)
• Mormon laments many of the members of the church in the last days "save a few only who do not lift themselves up in the pride of their hearts, unto the wearing of very fine apparel". (Mormon 8:36)

True Beauty as Taught by Prophets

• To the meek, broken and heavy-hearted, the Lord has promised to clothe with "the garment of praise". (Isaiah 61:3)
• Peter testifies, "I have coveted no man's silver, or gold, or apparel". (Acts 20:33)
• Peter taught us to "be clothed with humility". (1 Peter 5:5)
• Paul taught that women are to "adorn themselves in modest apparel, with reverence, sobriety; not with broidered hair, or gold, or peals, or costly array". (1 Timothy 2:9)
• Paul also taught us to "be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God" (Ephesians 6:10,11)
• The revelation in D&C 88:125 teaches "Above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity".
• When Moses stood upon the mount and God showed him great visions, he "beheld the heavens open, and [he] was clothed upon with glory".
• Joseph F. Smith had a vision of missionary work in the Spirit world where the Lord "organized His forces and appointed messengers, clothed with power and authority". (D&C 138:30)

After studying these things, I asked myself the following questions:

What is there to be learned from these scriptures, especially in today's fad culture? 

How do we apply this in our individual lives?  

What does Godly clothing look like, is it seen with spiritual or physical eyes, or both?  

How much worth do we place on either kind of clothing?  

How do we identify ourselves? 

Is it really truth we are dressed with... or is it actually "wolves in sheep's clothing"?

... Just some things I've been thinking about...

-Alicia
(Arise and Shine Forth)

Removed

Yesterday in foster training, we watched this short video that shows what it is often like for a child to be removed from their biological parents and placed in the fostering system.  It was so profound and heart-wrenching for both us.  It only increases our desire to make a steady and loving place for one or two children in our home.

We showed it to our kids tonight for family counsel.  We asked them questions and discussed the possible things that would cause the girl in this film to lash out like she did on occasion.  The children shared some very insightful and compassionate answers.  It was a great discussion.  We plan to pass on as much training as we can for our kids before we become licenced in the next couple months.

ReMoved

"Sometimes someone hurts you so bad, it stops hurting at all... until something makes you feel again.  Then it all comes back, every word, every hurt, every moment.

How could you ever understand where I come from?

Even if you ask, even if you listen, you do not really hear or see or feel... you don't remember my story.  You haven't walked my path.  You haven't seen what I've seen.

My past defines me.  This is who I am. I am unseen, unheard, unwanted... that is what I am... if even I am anything.

It seemed like the same thing that held me up, forced me down.  The world turned upside-down and order disappeared.  Nothing was how it was supposed to be... and a heavy sadness filled my soul.

Deeper and deeper I fell within myself.  And nothing could draw me out.  Trapped in the misery of my life, lost in the sorrow of my soul, unable to see the light, unable to see the dawn... to feel, to hope, to dream.  And I found the darkest days of my life kept coming.  The blackest nights for my soul never stopped.  It seemed like it was always nighttime and nightmares and never morning.

 And maybe you wonder why... but mostly you try not to think about it... and try to get by... and try to survive.

And all the other stuff seems so much like nothing, compared to just wanting the most important things back again;
Like wishing you could see your mama smile again... and hear her sing that one favorite song that always calmed you down when things were all messed up.
Or if you couldn't have her back, at least get to take care of your baby brother, cause you know he needs you... and he's gonna be so scared all alone.  And who's going to hold his hand and whisper it will be alright to him?
And who will whisper it to me?

I know I am helpless, dependent, desperate... but what happens when those you need the most threaten your very existence?
I've heard plenty of promises and they all sound the same... but push hard enough and sooner or later, they all prove to be empty.

The sun comes up every morning... but do you know where?  Each place is somewhere different.
It's hard to find east when you keep moving around, but at least it comes.  It always comes.  I've come to depend on that.

And slowly, slowly seasons changed around me.... and it seemed, this time, that maybe the world would not be pulled out from under me again...
Feet safe, roots starting to grow... little buds of hope forming.... slowly attempting to trust this new life.

I wish someone would tell me it's going to be okay.  That one day, maybe, I'll feel normal... that I won't always be no-one... That I'll have a mommy who will hug me, who will be strong for me... because maybe, I can't do it all by myself...

This my past, my history, my story, is not my fault... it's not because of me and doesn't have to be what defines my future.

I am lovable.
I am worthy of care.
And that glimmer of light... it makes all the difference.  The glimmers of light give me hope... that someday my summer will come."

Focusing on the Divine

"For two weeks make a special effort to strengthen your relationship with a family member by showing love through your actions. Refrain from judging, criticizing, or speaking unkindly, and watch for positive qualities in that family member. Write notes of encouragement, pray for this family member, find ways to be helpful, and verbally express your love." 

I'm working on my Personal Progress for Young Women's and I absolutely LOVE this goal!  It's fittingly under the category of Divine Nature.

The thing I really love is how the very process of seeking out and acknowledging the positive (verbally or written)  is really just a resolve to focus on the divine. I think it's the essence of soulful gratitude.  This mental and emotional shift outside ourselves, this conscious effort to encourage and build others, especially those in our own family, will help us see them with the light of truth.  And the truth will set us free!

There are so many ways we can do this...  I love to think of the possibilities. When we sincerely choose to focus on the good in others, it will not matter what the response is because it's not a boomerang initiative, giving in order to get.  It's more like a "bulls-eye" initiative with genuine straight-arrow purpose and direction to aim at the center, the very heart of each other's infinite worth, giving purely to give.

To me, this is what Christ does for all of us.  He sets the example of what it means to lift, to build, to pray for, to encourage, and focus on the divine... regardless of how deserving we are and regardless of our response.  I revere Him for that!

I'll close this post with a really cool quote from the American athlete four-time gold medalist, Jesse Owens:

“Find the good. It’s all around you. Find it, showcase it and you’ll start believing in it.”

-Alicia :)

Timp, the Y, and the Angel Moroni

Early last September, I wrote a post about the perfect view from my apartment.  From the windows of my place, I can see three significant markers in my life all somehow tied together and playing out a story:  Mt. Timpanogos, The "Y" for BYU, and the Angel Moroni who stands atop our beautiful City Center Temple.

If you ever go to a Temple Open House, you might have the opportunity to see some gorgeous murals.  Many of our temples have them in the creation room.  Our new City Center Temple opened its doors in January of this year to give visitors a first-time view before it was dedicated in March.

I could spend all day staring at the brush strokes and color details on the walls.  What I wouldn't give to learn the technique of these master artists! It's awe-inspiring! Someday, when we own our home, I'd love to take a room and paint over every last inch of the walls and ceiling, creating my own mural.

This past week, I went to do a session at our new Temple and found myself lost in the artwork surrounding me.  Then, I noticed something I hadn't before.  (Anyone can interpret it how they want.  In fact, most people won't find any meaning in it at all... but I saw it... and for me, it was personal.)

 In the back of the creation room in this House of the Lord, crowned with the Angel Moroni, there was painted within the mural Mt. Timpanogos and a cougar (which is BYU's mascot).  I smiled when I put them together.  There they were... that lovely little trilogy pattern of significant markers in my life reoccurring all in one place: Timp, the "Y", and the Angel Moroni. Once again, from where I stood, it was the perfect view!

-Alicia

Solid Ground

There's this new Christian song I discovered a couple of weeks ago.  Kaylee has heard me play it on a few occasions and now wants to listen to it all the time.  I don't know how much she pays attention to the lyrics but I'm sure the beat is irresistible for her.  Somehow, I hope the words to the song are making an impression too.

I just feel like she's growing up in a world that's plagued with a rampant identity crisis. We're a social media society... No need to be hired by Hollywood anymore, now we can make ourselves the center of attention with the click of a button.  (Don't get me wrong, receiving a little attention isn't bad but I think we need to strictly guard our intent behind it.)  It's so easy to get lost in the endless competition to be one step ahead of the next person, to compare and measure our worth based on the reactions or non-reaction of others.  It's so volatile!! If we aren't careful, we can quickly be sucked into an insatiable hunger for praise and popularity, a lifestyle of endless consumption... and to what end?

I'll admit that I'm not immune to it. I lose sense of my identity too. I've never understood all the hype about manicures, fashionable purses, or matching shoes.... but truth be told, my weak point is make-up.  I've become so dependent on it that I just don't feel beautiful without it.  But whose definition of beauty am I going off of?  It's certainly not God's.

 According to the world's definition, Jesus Christ was not attractive.  Isaiah 53:2 says:
"For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him."

Clearly, the opinion of mainstream's societal vogue is void of authenticity.

The T.A. for my lab class shared this comic strip with us today and it kind-of fits in the context of this post. It just shows how much our identity is horribly tangled up with consumerism.

In Elder Hallstrom's talk from April's 2016's General Conference, he stresses the importance of having a solid understanding of our true identity. "It's foundational" he says... and  he asks the question for today's troubled world, "Who do we lean on for repose?" Do we lean on social acceptance, peer approval, or popular vote?  The constant shifting fads and trends have no capacity to give us a steady footing of who we really are.

When I lose focus of who I truly am and get caught up in the anxieties of modern media, when I'm  feeling discouraged for not measuring up to the latest and greatest,  I'm thankful for songs like this that play in my home.  I know I feel better for listening to these truths.  I hope my girls are listening too.

-Alicia

"Can't Be Moved"
by, Jeremy Camp

I can’t lean on the earthly things
‘Cause it’s broke and gonna fade
And I can’t stand on the dirt below
‘Cause this dust gonna blow away
You say, hey now, follow Me, gonna go to the promise land
You say, hey child, don’t forget that the Lord is coming back

When everything in this world is falling
We have a Kingdom that can’t be moved
People get ready Heaven is a calling
We have a Kingdom that can’t be, that can’t be moved

When the waters rise, don’t be surprised
When the force tries to pull you in
We’ll be found on the solid ground
Won’t be no slave to sin

You say, hey now, trumpet sound, all the saints gonna board the train
You say, hey child, don’t you fear, what’s dead’s gonna rise again

Truth be told, silver and gold ain’t where my treasure’s found
So when I die, gonna open my eyes with a different kind of crown

Something Out of Nothing

After experiencing the presence of God and then being left to himself, Moses realized that "man is nothing." - Moses 1:9-10
Other great prophets recognized this truth;
Mormon said, "O how great is the nothingness of the children of men." - Helaman 12:7
King Benjamin counseled, " I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness" - Mosiah 4:11

So when I say that I am nothing, I'm not trying to put myself down... I'm just stating a simple fact.  Paul taught that the only thing that can transform me into something is charity, the pure love of Christ.  In 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 He says that even if I can speak a ton of languages including the language of angels, even if I had so many gifts and talents or had the faith to move mountains, even if I gave myself as a martyr, I'd still be nothing if I didn't have God's love.

Just a little over seven years ago, when our little family was facing a great financial deficit, I went to the temple in the spirit of fasting and prayer.  There I saw myself on a hillside among the 5,000 people whom Christ fed with just a couple fish and a few loaves of bread.  When the basket got to me, I began to argue, "There isn't enough here for us.... if I do the math, there just isn't enough!  It's so obvious."  Then I imagined the One holding the basket out to me was the Savior, Himself.  I looked in His eyes and was silent as He spoke, "How much do you trust Me, Alicia?  Stop doing the math.  Where is your faith?"  I couldn't argue with that.  I knew that financially, we would be fine and to plan for miracles.

Often times, I re-visit that hillside in prayer and envision myself face-to-face with the Lord again.  Only this time, not in a financial deficit but in a very real spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual one; So many areas I'm missing, so many qualities I'm lacking.  And I ask Him about my life's mission, "Why me?  I just don't add up!  It's so painfully obvious I'm not qualified for this... I'm not ready for that.  To think I could make any kind of difference is almost laughable.  I am nothing."  Lovingly and sternly, He gives me the same answer, "How much do you trust me, Alicia?  Stop doing the math. Where is your faith?"

I heard this song for the first time just a couple of days ago and the lyrics were perfect for the encouragement I needed.  "You take all kinds of nothing, turn it right into something... You take every doubt and you make something out of me."  If man is nothing and God's work and His glory is to bring to pass their immortality and eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39)... Then it must mean that not only can He make something out of nothing... this is His specialty!!  He does it all the time!  What He is able to do through and with me is far more miraculous that what He can do with bread and fish.  How much do I trust Him?

Because of a merciful, loving and all-knowing Father in Heaven, I echo Ammon's testimony, "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things." - Alma 26:12

-Alicia

"Something Out Of Me"

by, Nichole Nordeman

Just You and me on a hillside

And 4,999

If You could see on the inside

What I brought, what I need, how I’m caught in between....

...You take all kinds of nothing

Turn it right in to something

I see impossible, but You see a basket full of

A little bit of this sounds crazy

A little bit of just maybe

You take every doubt and

You make something out of me"

Hosanna!

This coming Sunday we will have the opportunity to participate in the dedication of the Provo City Center Temple.  How fitting that this sacred and glorious dedication has been appointed to be on Palm Sunday.  For FHE last night, we discussed the symbolism of Christ's entry into the ancient city and how He is entering our city today.

John 12:12-19, Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:28-44 , Zechariah 9:9 

• The Palm Branch = symbol of victory, triumph, peace and eternal life
• Riding on a donkey = a symbol of peace and meekness.  The horse was a symbol of war but donkeys were often used in peace treaties. 
• He came from the east and up into Jerusalem = The names of the cities listed in the Gospels  are of such an order to show this direction.  He also ascended upward into the city since Jerusalem is on a hill.  (The rising sun also comes from the east.)
• Hosanna - is a Greek form of the Hebrew expression for "Save us now," or "Save, we pray."... Note the rendering of the :Hosanna Shout: in the restored Church of Christ in the current dispensation on occasions of particular rejoicing before the Lord. (p. 523 Jesus the Christ)
• The first thing Christ did after entering the city was cleanse the Temple.

"The people were jubilant over the spectacle of Jesus riding toward the holy city... For the time being He was their king, and they His adoring subjects.  The voices of the mulititude sounded in reverberating harmony: ;Blessed be the King that cometh in the name of the Lord: peace in heaven, and glory in the hightest'; and again: 'Hosanna to the son of David: blessed is He that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.'" - James E. Talmage (Jesus the Christ p. 514)

We too feel blessed and are thrilled with the opportunity to rejoice and shout "Hosanna!" at this Temple dedication.  To offer Him this Holy House and welcome Him to our city.

We really had a great time with the kids last night in our discussion but it has caused me some deeper reflection - so I want to take a little time to go slightly further into this story. You see, with the temple that Christ entered into in Jerusalem, it was a different event than ours here in Provo:

"Amidst all this jubilation, Jesus was sad as He came in sight of the great city wherin stood the House of the Lord;  and He wept, because of the wickedness of His people, and of their refusal to accept Him as the Son of God; moreover He foresaw the awful scenes of destruction before which both city and temple were soon to fall.  In anguish and tears, He thus apostrophized the doomed city: 'If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.' (Luke 19:42)" - James E. Talmage (Jesus the Christ p. 515)

In other words He lamented, "If you had only realized what would bring you peace, real peace... but you've closed your eyes and refuse to see."

How were their eyes closed?
Is there a clue to this answer by the Savior's first choice of action after he dismounts the donkey? What does He do?  He immediately clears out the temple because they had turned it into a "den of thieves." - Luke 19:46  Perhaps He had some interest in real-estate, after-all, they had no right to do whatever they wanted in the Temple.  This was HIS house.  He was the owner, the possessor of this place.

Speaking of houses...  what about the one we dwell in as a family.... Who is the rightful owner of our home?  Is our home just a residence for ourselves or have we dedicated it to the Lord?  What do we invite in on a daily basis and would He approve?  How do we maintain the kind of atmosphere where His Spirit may dwell?

And what about our mortal tabernacle?  Who possesses it?
Each day the Lord leaves it up to us to choose, but we must always remember Who bought us.

"The purchase price for our fullness of joy--body and spirit eternally united--is the pure and innocent blood of the Savior of this world. We cannot then say in ignorance or defiance, 'Well, it's my life,' or worse yet, 'It's my body.' It is not. 'Ye are not your own,' Paul said. 'Ye are bought with a price.'" - Jeffrey R. Holland 

What kinds of things turn my own home "into a den of thieves"?

The way to peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come is to let the rightful Owner in our hearts, let Him in our home, and into our life!  Let Him claim His rightful place and take ownership.... not partial... this isn't fractional real-estate.... but full and complete ownership.
How do I let Him in?
What does that look like in my daily choices?
What does that look like for me as a mother, a wife, a sister, and a neighbor?

Just some thoughts I've been having....
-Alicia

Christ in Me

by, Jeremy Camp

"In this obsession with the things this world says make us happy

Can't see the slaves we are in all the searching all the grasping

Like we deserve much more than all these blessing we're holding

So now I'm running free into an ocean of mercy unending

So come and empty me 

So that it's you I breathe

I want my life to be 

Only Christ in me 

So I will fix my eyes

'Cause you're my source of life 

I need the world to see

That it's Christ in me"

"Oh Lord, my heart..."

I went to another cottage meeting last night about Comprehensive Sex Education.  My friend Kim, who is an assistant to the president of Family Watch International, spoke again.  They're still in the process of finalizing their documentary and have one more interview from World Congress that remains to be included.  The information is 100% accurate.  I've done my own homework in this and have spent countless hours pouring over and reading through the organizations I learned about at the United Nations last year: Planned Parenthood, International Planned Parenthood Federation, Sexuality Info and Education Council of the United States, United Nations Population Fund and others. The research of Alfred Kinsey, the father of the sexual rights movement, is more painful than my heart can take.  Three-hundred-seventy-one children from ages five months to thirteen years were "experimented" upon, sexually molested and raped in the name of science.  And the curriculum coming out of these organizations strongly tied to this man is approached the same way a pedophile seeks to gain the trust of their victims. It's terribly, terribly sickening.

I got in my car last night and just sobbed for these children.  How could Alfred Kinsey have gotten away with what he did?!... And not only gotten away with it... but how did these organizations who supported him and his research make it off the ground and WHY are they still thriving?

This morning during my scripture study,  I read the verses I've been ponderizing for this week and then opened to where we are reading as a family.  The music of  Paul Cardall, "Gracie's Theme" and "I am a Child of God" played in the background as I read Alma 31: 30-33.  I thought of the innocent who have suffered and continue to suffer and I could not hold back the tears.

O Lord God, how long wilt thou suffer that such wickedness and infidelity shall be among this people? O Lord, wilt thou give me strength, that I may bear with mine infirmities. For I am infirm, and such wickedness among this people doth pain my soul.

 O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people.

 O Lord, wilt thou comfort my soul, and give unto me success, and also my fellow laborers who are with me.... yea, even all these wilt thou comfort, O Lord. Yea, wilt thou comfort their souls in Christ.

 Wilt thou grant unto them that they may have strength, that they may bear their afflictions which shall come upon them because of the iniquities of this people. - Alma 31: 30-33

My husband walked into the kitchen and greeted me with a morning kiss.  He could see I had been crying and asked with concern what was wrong.  "The children... I'm just thinking about the children." I answered.  "It's hard for me to see that documentary again from Family Watch and to know what the Enemy is doing."  He hugged me understandingly and we discussed for some time about these last days and the hope we find in our Savior.  I pray for greater strength to fight these battles.  I need a strong heart for my soul at this time is in anguish.

-Alicia

Looking On the Heart - Ponderize - Week 20

What is "the heart" of something?... The core, the center, the life-blood.  Today in my scripture study, I cross-referenced back and forth in verses and found myself reading 1 Samuel 16 where David was chosen through the Lord's prophet.

"For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7

In the later verse, David is described as "ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to." Or in the modern language Bible it says David was "the very picture of health—bright-eyed, good-looking."  To me, this makes verse seven all the more significant. Someday David would become feeble and elderly and he'd lose that "picture of health." But that's not where the Lord was looking.

There's no way around it in life for any of us.   We all will grow old some day and with the price the world puts on appearances, we may wish and hope for a fountain of youth wherewith we could somehow switch out our inevitable cup of age and fragility. But at last, this cannot be.

We learn very young to analyze, observe, judge, and study... we do this through our first physical senses and most especially with our eyes.  But the "Lord seeth not as man seeth."  There is something incredible about God's vision that He wants us to discover here in this life.  There is so much beyond our physical experience.

From this last General Conference, Elder Bednar related this touching story:

"Several years ago I spent a Sunday afternoon with Elder Hales in his home as he was recovering from a serious illness. We discussed our families, our quorum responsibilities, and important experiences.

At one point I asked Elder Hales, 'You have been a successful husband, father, athlete, pilot, business executive, and Church leader. What lessons have you learned as you have grown older and been constrained by decreased physical capacity?'

Elder Hales paused for a moment and responded, 'When you cannot do what you have always done, then you only do what matters most.'"

Our Spirit is our core, our very center, the heart of who we are and who we will become and this is the means by which God judges, He sees, He communicates, and He loves.  Focusing on the true identity of others and nurturing /cultivating the Divine within ourselves (our heart, our Spirit) is the key to real lasting magnificent beauty, the kind that will never grow old, for the soul is evergreen...

-Alicia

"This is my desire consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful" by, Needtobreathe

Love Isn't Blind

It seems to me that the trends of the world often follow the pattern of what I call "shallow love."  So many relationships leave no room for imperfection in one another and therefore leave no room for growth.  When the going gets tough or if anything dissatisfies... they abandon everything.

C.S. Lewis observed this about Gods love and maybe we can apply something of this pattern in our own lives with everyone we come in contact with:

"To see in some measure, like God.  His love and His knowledge are not distinct from one another, nor from Him.  We could almost say He sees because He loves, and therefore loves although He sees." 

 "He loves although He sees."  Think about it for a moment! "He loves although He sees."  I believe that is what endears us to the Savior's heart.  That is the quality that makes us comfortable to fall before Him as our imperfect selves.  There is no piece of us that is hidden, He sees the good, the bad, and the ugly in our souls... and yet He loves us still.  

In this Shakespeare Sonnet, observe how he describes love.  It is unchanging even when it finds reason to change and sees the infinite worth even when the person may not "measure up" to it. 

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

 If this be error and upon me proved,

 I never writ, nor no man ever loved. 

I really like where Shakespeare describes that true love "bears it out even to the edge of doom."  It reminds me of the verse I'm pondering this week on charity.  

After the Apostle Paul describes this wonderful virtue he warns us that we don't see the full picture and even don't understand our own hearts but the Lord does and eventually we will see clearly through Him.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known” (1 Cor. 13:12).

Pure and Christlike love always evokes and promotes feelings of unity, appreciation, and gentleness...  never discord, dissension, or hostility.  We are covenant people who have taken upon us the name of Christ and our behavior should reflect that same kind of perfect charity... to "love although [we] see."

Finally, I'll close this post with some thoughts from President Eyring in 1998

The sacramental prayer can remind us every week of how the gift of unity will come through obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When we keep our covenants to take His name upon us, to remember Him always, and to keep all His commandments, we will receive the companionship of His Spirit. That will soften our hearts and unite us. But there are two warnings which must come with that promise.

First, the Holy Ghost remains with us only if we stay clean and free from the love of the things of the world. A choice to be unclean will repel the Holy Ghost. The Spirit only dwells with those who choose the Lord over the world. “Be ye clean” (3 Ne. 20:41; D&C 38:42) and love God with all your “heart, … might, mind, and strength” (D&C 59:5) are not suggestions but commandments. And they are necessary to the companionship of the Spirit, without which we cannot be one.

The other warning is to beware of pride. A unity which comes to a family or to a people softened by the Spirit will bring great power. With that power will come recognition from the world. Whether that recognition brings praise or envy, it could lead us to pride. That would offend the Spirit. There is a protection against pride, that sure source of disunity. It is to see the bounties which God pours upon us not only as a mark of His favor but an opportunity to join with those around us in greater service. A man and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them. In the same way, we can unite with those who do not accept our doctrine but share our desire to bless the children of our Heavenly Father.


We can become peacemakers, worthy to be called blessed and the children of God (see Matt. 5:9).

...........
- It's a new day. Let's seek for and choose opportunities to "see through the glass" with clarity, with the Spirit, with the eyes of Christ.

-Alicia