"Love, is what you go through together."

8/19/17

We didn't quite make it to the summit by sunrise but we were close, very close! We started a little after 3 a.m. and arrived to the very top of Timp around 7:30 am.  Joseph brought his camera and tried several times along the way to get a clear picture of the waning crescent moon with Venus dangling above it. This one turned out pretty cool! And to think, in just two days, that moon would be covering the Sun in a total eclipse!!

Everything with the hike up went smoothly. We stayed at the summit for almost an hour, basking in the golden rays of morning light. It was magical!

On the way down however, only a few yards into the decent, Joseph's left knee locked up and he couldn't move his leg. He was in terrible pain!

Just past the glacier, I ran ahead down the trail another mile to some hikers who were from our ward. They supplied me with extra food and water.  And because I didn't have a cell phone, they also said when they got back home, they would swing over to our place to relay to our children why we were delayed.  I could finally relax knowing that we now had plenty of water and knowing the kids were aware that we would be several hours late.  

I ran back up to where Joseph was. He hobbled and groaned as he continued to inch his way. 

"Take your time," I said. My words weren't the most reassuring because he wanted to be through hiking right then and there, he didn't want to take his time!

I walked slowly along his side and tried to keep him company. My attempts at humor to lighten the mood were just plain dumb. At least he cracked a couple smiles. I wished I had been strong enough to carry him. Every step shot a burning pain into his knee which began to spread into his hip and lower back.  What took us four-and-a-half hours to hike up, took us almost seven hours to hike down!

I don't think it was a completely terrible experience hiking back because some great lessons in marriage came to my mind as we walked the descending trail side-by-side: The importance of patience, of taking life one step at a time, of staying together, of encouraging and nourishing each other through thick and thin. 

We rested at the waterfall just above where Joseph proposed to me 18 years ago. The mist was refreshing.  I wasn't bothered at all with how long everything was taking. I was grateful just to be with him.
It reminded me of the quote by James Thurber, "Love, is what you go through together."  :)

Always and Forever,

 - Alicia

Stand By You - Rachel Platten

"Hands, put your empty hands in mine
And scars—show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine so yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I
And, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you...

...You're all I never knew I needed
And the heart—sometimes it's unclear why it's beating
And, love, if your wings are broken
We can brave through those emotions, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Oh, truth—I guess truth is what you believe in
And faith—I think faith is having a reason
And I know now, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you...

...I'll be your eyes 'til yours can shine
And I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite
And when you can't rise, well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees
'Cause I... I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you"

Stronger

Joseph and I have grown so much closer together in the past three-and-a-half months. One of the reasons for this may be because foster care is such a terribly lonely road, there are so few people who understand how it affects the family. It's just one of those things that has to be experienced to grasp the full scale of it all.  Joseph and I have had to rely very heavily on each other for support, we've taken more time to be together, to go on dates, and to confide our hearts. 

When you foster, you invite an immense amount of trauma into your life and the lives of your children--The medical professionals call this secondary trauma. Because foster care is so taxing, so difficult, and so dramatically life-altering, it's important that we have a good team to work with: helpful resource counselors, informed social workers, and accessible support groups. 

Last night, Joseph and I met with the DCFS team for two hours. The meeting was very productive as we addressed every aspect and angle of the difficulties we're facing.  It felt so comforting to have them listen to us, to supply ways and ideas that will make our job a little easier and provide a better environment for the entire household.  We know our DCFS team genuinely cares about us and wants to make this work. 

In less than a month, the parent visits will increase to four hours a week (2 hrs on two different days), court hearings bi-weekly, and therapy two hours a week. Our schedules will definitely be more tight than they've ever been. I have to admit, this makes me a little more nervous to continue my schooling at BYU but I still believe that it's not impossible.

My husband and I are certainly learning to do hard things. We stumble and fall all along the way but we're learning.

I've been so proud to see Joseph increase in his resilience and optimism. He has been a good example to me of humility and faith.  This morning, he announced that he's going to hike Mt. Timponogos this August and he wants to start training with me mid-March. Anyone who knows Joseph would realize that this is absolutely huge for him! He usually hates any kind of exercise but he said he wants this to be a symbol of overcoming difficulty and persevering in the face of great opposition. It's amazing what has come over him!

We're going to make this. With God's grace, we will be strong enough.  We're going to make all of this together and come out on top. I am completely confident!

-Alicia :)

My Song for the Day

And... the view from HERE still makes me smile.

We got the keys to our garage last week and the keys to our house yesterday. We have been moving everything over slowly and will be in our home completely in just a few more days.  I took the kids over this evening to put a couple of things in order while the boys were at Priesthood Session.  I'm very happy to say that I still have a good view of Timp, the Y, and the Angel Moroni.  

I also noticed something else in this lovely little home of ours I hadn't noticed before... 

....a beautiful message on the bathroom mirror that trails off into forever,
"Believe in miracles everyday."  

Perfect, absolutely perfect! 

Yeah, I believe.

-Alicia :)

I Believe by, Catherine Papworth

Beautiful
Wonderful
With kindness and compassion on his face.
Merciful
And personal
Giver of the most amazing Grace.

He saved my life;
Opened up my eyes.
He gave everything to rescue me.
Knowing where I've been,
Let me start again.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
I believe.

Creator
No one greater.
Maker of the heavens and the Earth.
Holy
King of Glory
Words cannot describe his endless worth.

He saved my life;
Opened up my eyes.
He gave everything to rescue me.
Knowing where I've been,
Let me start again.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
I Believe.

Comfort
Keeper
Gracious
Redeemer
My Defender
Forever
And Ever

He saved my life
Opened up my eyes.
He gave everything to rescue me.
Knowing where I've been,
Let me start again.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
Healed my broken heart and set me free.
I Believe.
I Believe.

Happy Trails

We headed out the door this morning at 7:00AM and had fun in Provo Canyon hiking the Timponogos Trail with some friends of ours.  I can't wait to hike to the summit of Timp in two-and-a-half weeks with my aunt again.  She's expressed that she wants to make it a tradition every year.  I like that idea. :)  

I love Provo Canyon!! (Maybe because the blood of the man who carved the way through it flows in my veins.) 

The spot where I'm standing near the waterfall
and the amphitheater in the photo above
are both places where Joseph and I first talked about marriage in July 1999.  :)

Timp, the Y, and the Angel Moroni

Early last September, I wrote a post about the perfect view from my apartment.  From the windows of my place, I can see three significant markers in my life all somehow tied together and playing out a story:  Mt. Timpanogos, The "Y" for BYU, and the Angel Moroni who stands atop our beautiful City Center Temple.

If you ever go to a Temple Open House, you might have the opportunity to see some gorgeous murals.  Many of our temples have them in the creation room.  Our new City Center Temple opened its doors in January of this year to give visitors a first-time view before it was dedicated in March.

I could spend all day staring at the brush strokes and color details on the walls.  What I wouldn't give to learn the technique of these master artists! It's awe-inspiring! Someday, when we own our home, I'd love to take a room and paint over every last inch of the walls and ceiling, creating my own mural.

This past week, I went to do a session at our new Temple and found myself lost in the artwork surrounding me.  Then, I noticed something I hadn't before.  (Anyone can interpret it how they want.  In fact, most people won't find any meaning in it at all... but I saw it... and for me, it was personal.)

 In the back of the creation room in this House of the Lord, crowned with the Angel Moroni, there was painted within the mural Mt. Timpanogos and a cougar (which is BYU's mascot).  I smiled when I put them together.  There they were... that lovely little trilogy pattern of significant markers in my life reoccurring all in one place: Timp, the "Y", and the Angel Moroni. Once again, from where I stood, it was the perfect view!

-Alicia

The View From Here :)

I love the little apartment where I live!  I've loved it since the first time I set foot in it - It felt like home to me.  It's funny because never in my wildest imagination did I think I would say something like that about a run-down place like this, especially in my late 30's married for nearly 16 yrs and having four children.  I imagined at this time in my life I'd be living in a nice little cozy house with a fenced back-yard, a large front porch just like my grandma used to have, a tire swing hanging from a tree, and a huge garden full of fresh vegetables.  

So what is it that I love about our little place if there is none of this?  It's the location.  

I have my very best friend who lives a block and a half up the street from me, I have the perfect place for skate parties and BBQ's with all my neighbors in the south parking lot, there are events, concerts, and celebrations within walking distance from my doorstep, and so much more. 

Also, from the inside of my apartment I have the perfect view of three things: Timp, the Y, and the Angel Moroni. -  

All of the north widows of my little apartment frame in Mt. Timpanogos perfectly: I will never forget the first time I hiked to the summit of that mountain.  Out our east window I can see the Y:  The first six-and-a-half years of living here in Provo, I'd stare out that window in a dream and wonder when my chance for attending BYU would come.  It came sooner than I thought and I'm living that dream now.  From the view of my kitchen window, I can see the Angel Moroni:  He stands with regal splendor upon the spire of a building that testifies of redemption, renewal, resurrection, and second chances. The view of these three things serve as symbols to me of my past, present, and future.  

Yesterday morning, I hiked the Y with my dear friend, Suzanne.  From the view up there we could see four temples in this gorgeous valley.  Four temples!!  Payson, City Center, Provo, and Timponogos. How richly blessed we are!  Last night in my prayers, I thanked my Father in Heaven for giving me such a wonderful life.  I have a great relationship with my husband, we love each other and enjoy the simplicity of being together.  We have four of the coolest kids who ever walked the face of this earth.  We live in the best ward and have the finest leaders.  We are surrounded by amazing family and friends who we love dearly and they love us, and we have this Gospel, the True Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I couldn't be happier.  God is good, so very very good.  The view from here is sweet.  This is my home!!

-Alicia