Above the Nay-saying and Pessimism

Yesterday, I attended the funeral for a young man, Jeromiah, who passed away a few short months from turning twenty due to complications he suffered with muscular dystrophy.  He had been diagnosed at the age of three and as each year passed, the disease took over his ability to walk, his ability to move his arms, his ability to speak very well, and eventually his entire body--except for very slight movements in a couple fingers. Spending most of his life in a quadriplegic wheelchair, this courageous young man refused to let his spirit be confined.  He graduated from college, was a graphic designer, a blogger, and was preparing to serve a mission for the Church. 

This excerpt from his Salutatory Address inspires me so much.  He said, "Let us be proactive and independent in our minds and motivations, above the nay-saying and pessimism we are sure to encounter. But let us still depend on those who care about us. May we be dependable citizens and reliable community members, to support each other as we go forth into the world and change it for the better." - Jeromiah Drennan

And he certainly changed the world for the better. I'm sure Jeromiah had his days where he struggled to live his own counsel but his accomplishments are proof that he truly practiced what he preached.

It's no surpise to me that he loved the book, Man's Search for Meaning. He completely understood that "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." - Victor Frankl

Reflecting on all that was shared at the funeral yesterday, I'm compelled to ask myself, "What level of gratitude is in my heart and how can I avoid nay-saying and pessimism? Where do I limit myself? What practices, habits, or self-talk will free my spirit from being confined by the forces of opposition in my life?" 

One other quote given at the services yesterday was this description of the highest education by President Hinckley. I believe this education is more readily achieved when we grasp our true spiritual identity and the true spiritual identity of everyone around us--the untouchable portion of our soul that is of infinite worth to our loving Father in Heaven.

"Each day we are made increasingly aware of the fact that life is more than science and mathematics, more than history and literature. There is need for another education, without which the substance of secular learning may lead only to destruction. I refer to the education of the heart, of the conscience, of the character, of the spirit—these indefinable aspects of our personalities which determine so certainly what we are and what we do in our relationships one with another." - President Gordon B. Hinckley

What beautiful tributes were made to celebrate the life of Jeromiah yesterday! Physically limited but not spiritually bound, this young man may have had a completely immovable body - but oh how his spirit SOARED!!

-Alicia

All About Learning

Joseph took work off today so we could enjoy a nice morning hike together. He's been so good about making sure we have time alone. Our dates are more frequent and consistent than ever and I love it! I think Joseph has felt more protective of me because of all we are experiencing with foster care. He's anxious to make sure I'm holding up okay.  It's very sweet of him.

It's been great to see how my kids protectively look out for me too. I have one class this semester at BYU. It has been pretty easy because it's a religion class and I use part of my scripture study time in the early morning to do my reading assignments which works out well because they're assigned from the scriptures. The exams are a little tough though. Last night, I had to study for one but couldn't really get to it until late in the evening. When I finally made it into my room to study, my foster daughter kept screaming for me. I could hear Miriam outside my bedroom door patiently working with her and helping her understand that I couldn't come out of my room. Miriam really is a miracle-worker when it comes to children.

Chandler also tried to help give me the space I needed to study. When he heard our foster daughter screaming for me again, he bounded up the stairs with a growl to "stop her"... which resulted in Miriam, Joseph, Micah, and Kaylee all dog-piling Chandler to "protect" our foster daughter. Ha ha! Despite that bit of drama, I really do appreciate Chandler's heart in it.  He really does look out for me.

It has been amazing to watch my children in this huge life-change for them and I've been so pleased to see them adjust as well as they have.  I think Micah and Kaylee have dealt with the most. They both have demonstrated incredible compassion, making room, giving time, teaching patiently, and sharing. I worry though... because I think some damage has been done to Kaylee emotionally so we've made an effort to get her therapy from a Dr. who specializes with foster families.

As hard as it has been, I must say that our foster kids have shown huge positive changes from when they first moved in with us. They are learning what it means to have boundaries, personal space, and healthy communication. They are learning responsibilities, learning to work, learning to play, learning to be creative, and use their imaginations. They are learning how a mom and a dad should treat each other. They are learning what it's like to have a book read to them, to have positive physical affection, and to feel safe at night.

We're all learning so much. I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Show me a person who has innumerable followers, popularity, high accolades, degrees and doctorates, scholarly knowledge, who has read all the books and passed all the tests but who has never learned to care for their family, never learned to be civil in conversation, never learned to recognize and act upon the Spirit, never learned to reach beyond their obsession of self to sincerely love their neighbor, who has never learned to truly love and truly serve - and you've shown me a fool, indeed.

I truly believe that best kind of education is found in meaningful relationships, it is found in learning to love, to step outside our self in the most exhausting and difficult circumstances.

-Alicia

One-On-One Winter Semester

Winter Semester started this week. I love being on campus so much! For the next few months, I have three of my kids lined up with Seeds of Success--a group of volunteer BYU students who study one-on-one with kids for an hour each week.  Micah and Kaylee go to campus on Mondays and Miriam goes on Thursdays.  I have my class that I attend each week too so, I get to be on campus more than ever this semester.

 The kids love their tutors! Doing their schoolwork one-on-one with college-aged students inspires them to seek a higher education, it helps them learn to socialize with a more mature age, and gives them outstanding role models to follow in their most formative years.

While Miriam studied yesterday, I was able to have one-on-one time with my foster daughter and it seemed to fill the need of her attention bucket for almost the rest of the day.

While Micah and Kaylee study on campus with their tutors, my foster son has expressed the desire to have one-on-one time and be given a tour of the buildings at BYU. I'm more than happy to give him a tour of my favorite place on earth.

Here's to another semester of life, love, and learning!

-Alicia

"All that [I] need" - Ponderize - Week 62

I like taking my kids to class with me at BYU. They always fight over who's turn it is since I only allow for one of them at a time.  All of them love it!  Well, almost all of them.... Chandler is the only one who doesn't really care to attend with me but he still loves to use the campus for his studies.  It works out great for him because he's only enrolled at the high school for his extracurricular classes. All his core classes are online so he can do those anywhere there is a computer.  His favorite thing is to use my student ID and password for the computers on campus to do his schoolwork.

This week is the last of my semester.  My foster son wanted to join me in my class tonight. He sat pretty quietly as he read the books he brought.  I was proud of his behavior.  

After the hour was finished, I walked my foster son over to the vending machines to let him pick a treat.  I think that's what he was looking forward to the most. He's envied the other kids when they've return from one of my classes with treats in hand.  He picked a soda and a pack of gum for his reward, skipping along with delight.

He wanted me to give him a tour of the whole campus. I walked him through a couple of buildings and drove him past a few more but said I'd have to save the rest for another time.  He seemed to really enjoy the opportunities this evening, asking when he'd be able to join me for class again. I told him I'd start up a couple more classes in January.  He was happy about that.

I've really enjoyed this semester.  So far, I'm getting the highest percentage grade out of everyone in my class (something I was not expecting at all).  I'm really excited about my final presentation for Saturday night. We're all giving our own short little Ted Talks; Mine will be about foster parenting.  I shared a portion of it in peer review today and got some great feedback. I'm so grateful I have this opportunity to go to school.  It is my dream come true!!  

I'm feeling really blessed in my life.  I think a good scripture for this week is 2 Corinthians 9:8,

"God is able to bless you abundantly, 

so that in all things at all times, 

having all that you need, 

you will abound in every good work." 

(NIV version)

-Alicia :)

ABC - 123

Around 22 years ago I was given a special blessing that reminds me of my life's mission. In that blessing I was told that because of my Savior's sacrifice, I might "not only have life but [I'll] have it most abundantly".  This is a promise to all true followers of Christ! As I reflect on what the phrase means to "have life most abundantly" I think of what we are here on earth for: to learn.

Education is part of the abundant life, especially the education that shapes and molds our eternal destiny.  So, let's talk a little about ABC's and 123's... :)

Thomas S. Monson describes the abundant life as something to be sought after like a quest--through three applied principles:

"A is for Attitude--So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment.

B is for Believe--in yourself, in those around you, and in eternal principles... Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith.

C is for Courage--Have the determination to make the effort, the single-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort, should such be required. 'Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.'(Mary Anne Radmacher)"

- President Thomas S. Monson

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin gave a talk called "The Abundant Life" and in it, he lists three things that describe where we find it:

One-- Living Water: "Fully understood and embraced, the gospel of Jesus Christ heals broken hearts, infuses meaning into lives, binds loved ones together with ties that transcend mortality, and brings to life a sublime joy."

Two-- Love: "Love is the essence of the gospel and the greatest of all the commandments. The Savior taught that every other commandment and prophetic teaching hangs upon it.(Matt. 22:40). The Apostle Paul wrote that 'all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.'(Gal. 5:14)"

Three-- Make a masterpiece: "The third quality of those who live abundant lives is that they, with the help of their Heavenly Father, create a masterpiece of their lives. No matter our age, circumstances, or abilities, each one of us can create something remarkable of his life. David saw himself as a shepherd, but the Lord saw him as a king of Israel."

-Joseph B. Wirthlin

There you have it, my friends. It really is that simple.  It really is that beautiful! This really is the life!! Bless you in your noble quest to further your education! Enter to learn and go forth to serve! I believe in you.

-Alicia

Who... me?!

I've been acquainted with this woman in the home-school community for the past six years.  A mutual home-school friend contacted me earlier this spring and told me I should try this woman's Academy called Zion's Youth.  I looked into it then but decided to stay with what we already have set up for our children's education.

This woman who is the administrator of Zion's Youth has begun a new school, a private school under a different name. She's been trying to grow her number of students so she contacted me last week asking if I'd be willing to take a tour. I went there assuming she'd show me options of a single class my kids could attend once a week. I didn't realize fully what the visit was all about.

Half-way through the tour we stopped near some large wooden office desks on the upper floor.  She pointed to the empty desks and said, "These were just donated to us. We're looking for a Vice Principal.  Alicia, I think you would be a good fit. Do you think that's something that might interest you? We would allow your children free tuition in exchange." 

My jaw dropped to the floor, I couldn't speak.  I just stared back at her dumbly like a stunned deer in headlights.   She began explaining the various responsibilities and I felt even more dumb.  I was lost after her third sentence.

I tried to show gratitude. I wanted to accept but I needed more time to really consider. I couldn't help feel that if the woman knew me more than an acquaintance, she never would have offered a position like that to me,  "Wow, me...a Vice Principal?.... Did someone suggest me?....  Who told you I could do work like that?"

"No one... I've just heard you share comments at American Mothers before."

I was surprised. "You remember me from that?? Those meetings I attended were over a year ago and I only went to a few."

"Yes." She smiled. "I don't remember exactly what you said but it struck me. Anyway, this position came up and your name came to my mind."

It sounded like such an irresistible offer but I couldn't accept right away.  I finished the tour and brought my husband back the next day to allow him a tour as well.

I attended a faculty meeting this morning.  To tell the truth, I felt terribly out of place. Everything there feels so completely opposite of my personality: the tight and regimented schedule,  the formal dress code for the kids and for me, the knowledge and organizational skills required, etc. etc.  I keep shaking my head, "You've got the wrong person!!"

I'm going to continue to be prayerful about things.  She's allowing me a one-week trial-run to help me decide.  The trial-run will begin after we've moved into our new home.

I've got a lot on my mind, a lot I'm trying to sort through.  I keep asking myself, "Is this something the Lord wants me to do??... or did it just happen by chance??"  If it's just by chance, I probably won't go with it.

-Alicia  

God Can Even Use Me

These are some highlights I've selected from a fantastic BYU devotional by, Dean M. Davies, I discovered about a week ago.  I love this!!

"...You might say, “I’m no one special... I’m not a celebrity. I’m nobody. I’m average in every way. I’m not particularly smart, eloquent, coordinated, well dressed, or even well behaved. How could God use me?”

Don’t you know that since the beginning of time our Heavenly Father has reached out to those who were average and used them for His purposes?

Gideon was a farmer, but God saw him as the man who would deliver Israel from bondage.

When Samuel stood before the people to present to them their new young King Saul, the Bible tells us that Saul was so terrified that he “hid himself among the stuff.”(1 Samuel 10:22)

Even though Esther was an orphan and a captive in a strange land, she saved her people from execution. Even today the Jews celebrate the Feast of Purim to commemorate her courage.

When it came time for our Savior to restore His Church to the earth, whom did He choose? There were many refined, educated, well-dressed, well-spoken people on the earth at that time. But our Savior chose a rough, humble boy—a farmer, a youth with very little formal schooling.

Why does the Lord choose the weak things of the world for His purposes? Why does God choose the “base things of the world, and things which are despised”? Paul answered his own question: “That no flesh should glory in his presence.”(1 Cor. 1:28–29)

Why do you suppose God told Gideon to keep sending his troops home until he only had three hundred men to face more than one hundred thousand of the enemy?

Why do you think our Savior chose a fisherman to be His chief apostle who would lead the Church after He was gone?

Why do you suppose God chose an ­untutored farm boy to translate the Book of Mormon?

First, because God doesn’t look on our ­countenance or the height of our stature...

...Second, because God is able to take the most humble clay and create of it a masterpiece.

...Third, God chooses the average and the weak so that no man can boast and say, “I have done this out of my own ability.” He uses ordinary “earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.”

...Our Heavenly Father doesn’t need you to be mighty, intelligent, well dressed, well-spoken, or well inherited. He needs you to incline your hearts to Him and seek to honor Him by serving Him and reaching out in compassion to those around you."

More Mindful

So far this semester, I've really enjoyed my class, Writing and Rhetoric.  Each chapter I've studied, essay I've written, and lecture I've listened too has shown me how much more mindful, thoughtful, and informed I need to be with the opinions I hold and the words I say.

I like to think that I'm open-minded to people who believe different than me but now and then I catch a very unflattering glimpse of myself unwilling to explore the position or reasoning of an opposing view. I'm terribly uncomfortable with debate and I suppose part of that stems from my lack of several tools: vocabulary, wit, and knowledge... just to name a few.

Still though, I want to learn. I desperately want to learn! I need things to push me out of my comfort zone and I need to get over my fear of rejection or acceptance.  I have talents and gifts unique to me that I know can be a strength and benefit to others.  I know that if I just had more skill and know-how with some of these gifts, I could go so much further and do so much more good than I have in my life.

I feel grateful for the opportunity to go to school, especially BYU.  I'm glad I've decided to stick with enrollment this semester because it's working out, even with my upside-down life right now.  Being on campus (not in online courses but real face-to-face classes) is so thrilling. I recognize every time the incredible blessing it is to further my education. Stepping into the classrooms and being a part of the academic and spiritual atmosphere is absolutely energizing!  I know this is right where I want to be in my life.  I'm so glad I'm here... even if I have a long, long road ahead of me.

-Alicia

To Rhetor Or Not To Rhetor...

A Rhetor is the voice or the orator, either with written or spoken word.  As I learn the qualities and characteristics of a good rhetor, it's incredibly easy for me to feel completely inadequate, especially because of my lack of vocabulary, poor grammar, and my  sub-par knowledge about life in general.  But thankfully, in the gospel setting, the Lord's criteria doesn't require that I have a quick wit or a brilliant mind.  What He wants is a willing mind and someone quick to obey.   It's comforting to me that He has used ordinary and un-learned people all through time.  So, I know He can use me.

This morning in my scripture study I centered my focus on these scriptures.  They make a good follow-up to my day yesterday.  I'm so thankful for truth!
-Alicia

"And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.
And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord?
Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say." 
- Exodus 4:10-12

"Then said I, Ah, Lord God! behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child.
But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak." 
-Jeremiah 1:6,7

The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned." 
-Isaiah 50:4

"But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.
For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you."
-Matt 10:19-20

"And they were not able to resist the wisdom and the spirit by which he spake." 
-Acts 6:10

"Settle it therefore in your hearts, not to meditate before what ye shall answer:

For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist."
-Luke 21: 14,15

Talk for the day - by, Marcus B. Nash

Out of Weakness He Shall Be Made Strong

What I Learned at the United Nations...

This is the video I have been wanting to post about CSE (Comprehensive Sex Ed). Family Watch International just sent me it today.

This is the one I have seen in the various cottage meetings. My eyes were first opened to this agenda when I went to the United Nations last year in March with Big Ocean.  Please take a moment to watch: https://vimeo.com/152728936  And please share with others.

-Alicia
Zion Shall Not Be Moved - Ponderize - Week 19
Oh Lord, my heart!

"The Power of Not Knowing" - Ponderize - Week 23

"Wisdom is the highest spiritual intelligence.  While the natural man, through knowledge, can know nothing of wisdom.  A man may have a great intelligence and yet have nothing of the Christ life within him."

- Jane Lathrop Stanford

Liz Wiseman gave a great forum address at BYU several weeks ago called The Power of Not Knowing. I listened to it today. This is one of those talks I definitely want to repeat several times.  I really feel like I need to be better at asking questions and not act like I have all the answers, especially with my children.  It's a place of humility I know I haven't achieved yet.  

The text from this lecture isn't available but I've jotted down a few things she presents that I really, really love:

"Can we actually get too smart?... Is there actually more power in not knowing? I want to make a case for ignorance, and not ignorance in the case of the lack of education or stupidity, but simply the lack of certainty... As we gain knowledge and as we gain intelligence and we get smart, can we get a little too full of ourselves, a little too smart for our own good and maybe even a little too smart for the good of others?

When we come to depend on acquired knowledge, we can fall easily prey to secularism which offers us a one-eyed view of the world.... it's like we see half of the colors in a spectrum.  But we don't really fully see clearly until we unite our knowledge and our faith.

I think sometimes in our state of not knowing, it's actually where we come to know God.  It's where we discover!

We're so often at our best when we don't know.  The best leaders don't have the answers.  The best leaders have really good questions.  And they use those questions and their own intelligence to bring out the genius in the people around them.

I think it's time we recognize that at the top of the intelligence hierarchy, is not the genius - it's the genius maker.  And I think we need to recognize that we tend to do our best work when we're on the outer edges of what we know, when we're doing something hard and new and we're growing through challenge."

I think my favorite part in everything Sister Wiseman says is this:

"Sometimes in our state of not knowing is actually where we come to know God."

The uncertainty we face and the questions that may arise need not make us fearful of our capabilities or our future... for they humble us and bring us to our knees in prayer, connecting us with our all-knowing Father in Heaven.  The verse I've chosen to ponderize for this week is short but it will serve as a reminder to me that ultimately, there is beauty in not having all the answers and that there is infinite treasure to be discovered in the process of seeking.

"I applied mine heart to know, and to search, and to seek out wisdom, and the reason of things" - Ecclesiastes 7:25

-Alicia

"Oh Lord, my heart..."

I went to another cottage meeting last night about Comprehensive Sex Education.  My friend Kim, who is an assistant to the president of Family Watch International, spoke again.  They're still in the process of finalizing their documentary and have one more interview from World Congress that remains to be included.  The information is 100% accurate.  I've done my own homework in this and have spent countless hours pouring over and reading through the organizations I learned about at the United Nations last year: Planned Parenthood, International Planned Parenthood Federation, Sexuality Info and Education Council of the United States, United Nations Population Fund and others. The research of Alfred Kinsey, the father of the sexual rights movement, is more painful than my heart can take.  Three-hundred-seventy-one children from ages five months to thirteen years were "experimented" upon, sexually molested and raped in the name of science.  And the curriculum coming out of these organizations strongly tied to this man is approached the same way a pedophile seeks to gain the trust of their victims. It's terribly, terribly sickening.

I got in my car last night and just sobbed for these children.  How could Alfred Kinsey have gotten away with what he did?!... And not only gotten away with it... but how did these organizations who supported him and his research make it off the ground and WHY are they still thriving?

This morning during my scripture study,  I read the verses I've been ponderizing for this week and then opened to where we are reading as a family.  The music of  Paul Cardall, "Gracie's Theme" and "I am a Child of God" played in the background as I read Alma 31: 30-33.  I thought of the innocent who have suffered and continue to suffer and I could not hold back the tears.

O Lord God, how long wilt thou suffer that such wickedness and infidelity shall be among this people? O Lord, wilt thou give me strength, that I may bear with mine infirmities. For I am infirm, and such wickedness among this people doth pain my soul.

 O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people.

 O Lord, wilt thou comfort my soul, and give unto me success, and also my fellow laborers who are with me.... yea, even all these wilt thou comfort, O Lord. Yea, wilt thou comfort their souls in Christ.

 Wilt thou grant unto them that they may have strength, that they may bear their afflictions which shall come upon them because of the iniquities of this people. - Alma 31: 30-33

My husband walked into the kitchen and greeted me with a morning kiss.  He could see I had been crying and asked with concern what was wrong.  "The children... I'm just thinking about the children." I answered.  "It's hard for me to see that documentary again from Family Watch and to know what the Enemy is doing."  He hugged me understandingly and we discussed for some time about these last days and the hope we find in our Savior.  I pray for greater strength to fight these battles.  I need a strong heart for my soul at this time is in anguish.

-Alicia

"Zion Shall Not Be Moved" -Ponderize - Week 19

These last couple of days I haven't been able to decide on a scripture to ponderize for the week.  After this evening, I have finally chosen one.

I attended a cottage meeting tonight that Big Ocean hosted where two of my friends presented.  Mother and author, Nicholeen Peck, spoke and so did JaKell Sullivan, who has been a strong voice against Common Core for many years now.  My friend Kim Ells, assistant for Family Watch International, showed an informative and extremely disturbing video on what is entailed in the Comprehensive Sex Education Curriculum that the Federal Gov. is trying to push in every State. (They've already succeeded in some.)

It wasn't really new information to me since I heard a great deal about these teachings when I went to the United Nations and World Congress last year.  I knew these disgusting  publications were being distributed to youth through the International Planned Parenthood Federation and our own Planned Parenthood. It's just now their teachings are getting published into our education system and encapsulated in words like "sexual health" so it's "easier" for schools to choke it down their throats.

It grieves my soul and inflicts great sorrow upon my heart to see something so wonderful, so beautiful, so sacred, this very real sacrament with God, cheapened, trampled, exploited, and dragged through the mire.  It's a clear shot bullet to the heads of our innocent children.

This is a very real war and the firing squad is mowing down our babies.  People  just don't understand how very serious this is. I would encourage every parent I know to get informed.  http://www.comprehensivesexualityeducation.org/

Sometime tomorrow I should be able to get access to the 20 min. video my friend Kim showed tonight.  When I do, I'll be certain to share it.

I have no doubt that we will witness in the next few years a massive division take place all across the globe.  It's happening now.  But we must not lose heart... with that division also means there will be a great unification.  People of all faiths, all nations, all races and backgrounds are coming together to combat these attacks.  I've seen it.

I really need a verse that is hopeful to ponderize this week to help me remember this:

 "Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God. Zion shall not be moved out of her place, notwithstanding her children are scattered.  They that remain, and are pure in heart, shall return, and come to their inheritances, they and their children, with songs of everlasting joy, to build up the waste places of Zion."— D&C 101:16 - 18

-Alicia

Keep Believing

Three days out of the week I have the privilege of walking from my home up to BYU's campus to attend my American Heritage class.  As I walk the seven blocks to the bottom of the hill and pass the rows of apartments and houses, one by one students will emerge from the various doorways and head north on the parallel streets.  At first it seems like there is only four, maybe five of us in view but then as the bottom of the hill draws nearer, the number is closer to fifteen or twenty students coming from all directions.  I commence my way on the steep path, the buildings from campus rise into sight there is now one long stream of students filling the walkway in front of me and behind me, forty or fifty.  When I reach the crest of the hill and pass through the first row of buildings, suddenly I'm in a sea of thousands of students. It's glorious!  Each day I experience this,  I think of a story I heard from a devotional and how the vision of one young man helped turn the tide of despair and restore the hope of the BYU dream.

By 1913, a new wave of financial problems was threatening the university’s future. BYU faced mounting debt. Faculty salaries were so low the teachers ran farms to survive, returning home to irrigate between classes. Its cornerstone laid in 1907, the Maeser Memorial Building sat silent and unfinished for years. Finally, it seemed, the only way to finance its completion was to divide the land on Temple Hill into housing lots and sell them. A student named Alfred Kelly was selected to promote this idea during a commencement speech, but the assignment troubled him. Early one morning he walked to the top of Temple Hill to pray. What he saw that morning as he looked out across the valley left an unforgettable impression upon all who heard him relate it the day of his address, because what Kelly saw was you.

“Gradually the morning light advanced across the valley floor toward the spot where I stood. I closed my eyes partially to the advancing light and was startled by the strange vision that seemed to appear before me. The advancing sunlight took on the appearance of people, thousands of young people who approached me, their arms laden with books. I turned around to find the area behind me illuminated as well. In that light I saw hundreds of buildings, large and beautiful temples of learning. Those young people passed by me and entered in. Then, with cheerfulness and confidence, they turned toward the east and lifted their eyes heavenward, where, again becoming part of the sunlight, they gradually disappeared from my view.”

Kelly sat down to a stunned silence. Suddenly Jesse Knight leaped to his feet, pledging several thousand dollars to BYU. Others followed suit. Eventually, under the direction of President Joseph F. Smith, the Church assumed the school’s remaining debt. Finally, the future of the university had become secure.

The Lord evidently had a plan for the ground the campus now occupies—as He always had for BYU. He would not let even its leaders prevent its divine destiny. Such divine intervention on the things that matter most to the Lord is a comfort to me, knowing He can intervene to correct my lapses in judgment or vision. - (A House of Dreams - John S. Tanner)

What young Alfred Kelly experienced that morning was nothing short of prophecy.  It gave the people something to hold on to, to believe in when everything in the moment seemed hopelessly lost.

In this devotional Brother Tanner also tells of a vision Karl G. Maeser had that too was prophetic.  It came just after his darkest moment when he was ready to quit the cause:

Maeser said,  “I am worn out and sick in spirit, . . . and with all my love for this Academy, I feel that I owe it to my very life, which is needlessly wearing itself out here in an apparently hopeless task, to accept any change that will promise me opportunities for permanent usefulness.”  He contemplated moving his family and taking a job at the University of Deseret (which is now University of Utah).  His daughter one day asked when the move would take place and he responded,  “I have changed my mind. I have had a dream—I have seen Temple Hill filled with buildings—great temples of learning, and I have decided to remain and do my part.”**

Maybe I'm a dreamer... but when the clouds of gloom hang drearily over our heads and it feels as if the end of struggle is nowhere in sight, when we are worn and beaten down from the tasks that surround us, we can learn from these stories of the past and remember that it's always darkest just before the dawn.  God sees the bigger picture of our lives.... and I promise it is full of glory, purpose, and Divine mission.

With that... here's my song for the day. Keep Believing by, Ryan Shupe

-Alicia

**Excerpt from DVD Passport to Destiny; taken from Wilkinson and Skousen, School of Destiny, 84–85; emphasis in original.

The Rule of Law

I've been fascinated with the reading assignments in my American Heritage class.  Some of my recent ones have been: John Winthrop's - A Model of Christian Charity, James Harrington's The Commonwealth of Oceana, and my personal favorite, John Locke's - Second Treatise of Government. This might be boring to some but it's very interesting to me because these concepts and principles were highly studied, closely examined, and adopted by the Founding Fathers of this great nation.  They were principles designed to organize a government that would protect and uphold the natural rights and freedom of the people.

Maybe it’s because I’m paying my own way to go to school or maybe it’s because I’m a mom approaching my 40’s that causes me to feel more hungry for knowledge than ever before… I don’t know but whatever it is, this education experience is very precious and extremely valuable to me.  I guess the older I get in life, the more I realize how little time I have and how much more there is to learn.

As I’ve been studying about these various systems of government, I can’t help but ask myself; What kind of government have I been running in my home? How do I protect the freedom of my children? Do they understand our family laws and the purpose behind them? Do they have a say in the way these laws are created and enforced?

John Locke teaches that government is not about ruling the people but about protecting them.  Every person has inalienable or a natural right to life, liberty, and property.

"The power, then, that parents have over their children, arises from that duty which is incumbent on them, to take care of their off-spring, during the imperfect state of childhood.  To inform the mind, and govern the actions of their yet ignorant [youth], till reason shall take its place." - John Locke (Second Treatise of Government)

How do we inform the minds of our children or govern their actions while they are young?

I believe they need clear vision... for the scriptures say, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” - Proverbs 29:18

About five or so years ago, my husband and I attempted to increase the vision of our children by establishing a mission statement. We recite it once a week in our home and it’s been very helpful...  But after studying Locke and his view of a free government, I see more and more the need for written and enforced law agreed upon by family consent. I interpret this to look like some sort of family council.  I must admit that this is something my husband and I have only talked about but have never officially established.  

"The liberty of man in society, is to be under no other legislative power, but that established, BY CONSENT, in the commonwealth" - John Locke (Second Treatise of Government)

I searched the definition of Commonwealth and discovered:

Common = Shared

Weal = prosperous and happiness (1828 Dictionary)

God has written law for His children in order that we might find happiness... We call it the scriptures and the words of the living prophets.  We rely upon this law to give us direction and we consent to follow through covenants.  But some laws aren’t so easily accepted...

President Boyd K. Packer taught:

" Parents know, and one day you will know, that there are times when parents and we who lead the Church must extend tough love when failing to teach and to warn and to discipline is to destroy… In spite of criticism or opposition, we must teach and we must warn." - Boyd K. Packer (Oct. 2000)

As parents, we have a serious responsibility to teach and warn.  In our families, I personally believe that consent to such warnings or law comes more readily when we have a clear understanding and vision of their purpose.  If we are to “inform the minds” of our children we must also adequately help them see the dangers and pitfalls of this world and establish boundaries that protect their freedom.

Our children must know the great purpose of "law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom.... where there is no law there is no freedom... freedom is not, as we are told, a liberty for every man to do what he lists."- John Locke (Second Treatise of Government)

A nation without law is anarchy not freedom… So also, a family that has no law, has no freedom.

Our homes must be established and founded.  Rules must be clear.  I don't think gathering a family to counsel together has to be long or drawn out, complicated or fancy.

"The best leaders are not those who work themselves to death trying to do everything single-handedly; the best leaders are those who follow God’s plan and counsel with their councils.

“Come now,” said the Lord in an earlier dispensation through the prophet Isaiah, “and let us reason together” (Isa. 1:18). And in this dispensation, He repeated that admonition: “Let us reason together, that ye may understand” (D&C 50:10).

Let us remember that the basic council of the Church is the family council…  I testify that we can bring the full force of God’s revealed plan for gospel governance into our ministries as we counsel together." - Elder M. Russell Ballard - Counseling With Our Councils - 1994

With these things in mind, I'm excited that my husband and I are going to be starting our own family government, where we can “open the floor” for each child to share their issues, for us to teach and inform them, warn and guide them, but also listen and establish written laws together, to allow them voice, to give clear vision, and where we all can consent and maximize on our freedom.  We'll be learning as we go... I'll keep you posted.  :)

-Alicia

Back to School

Winter Semester started for me today.  My stomach has been full of butterflies.  My husband reassured me that he felt nervous every time a new semester began for him too.  He often worried how he would be able to juggle everything in his new schedule.  I must have been running on pure adrenaline because I feel like I just plowed through this day at full speed. I had an extremely early morning, orthodontist appointments for the kids, grocery shopping, meal prepping, laundry, my class, and artwork to package and ship.  And I got it all done, what a blessing! I actually don't feel tired but I really should get to bed.

Walking up to campus today brought me those same feelings I had as I stepped out as an official student last April.  I'm sure I made some people curious because I couldn't wipe the grin off my face.  Someone still needs to pinch me because even though this semester will be my 5th class here, I still can't believe this is happening.

  Oh, by-the-way... my class this semester is American Heritage.  I absolutely love learning about the foundations of this country and the things that made it great and am thrilled to have this class. The book I'll be studying is called, "A City on a Hill" based off the scriptures found in Matt 5:14-16.  My teacher, Professor Madsen, served as our bishop three years ago.  I'll still never forget that Sunday in March where I had two witnesses confirm the direction I was heading.  Earlier that week, I had gone with my friend Suzanne to listen to a seminar my other friend, Jennifer, was speaking at.  Her subject was discovering our mission in life by studying our patriarchal blessing.  I sat on the edge of my seat and elbowed Suzanne, "I've got to go back to school.  I know this now.  I need to apply to BYU."  She was surprised at my statement but full of encouraging words, "That would be awesome! You should totally do it.  You go!"  The thought made me giddy and I couldn't shake it the rest of the week.  When Bishop Madsen had me visit him in his office to extend a calling to me that Sunday, he didn't know what had been on my mind but he was inspired.  When the appointment was over, he stopped me as I was leaving with my hand turning on the door knob,
"Wait, just one more thing... for whatever it's worth... You have a lot of gifts Alicia... and well... don't sell yourself short.  I'm not telling you to go back to school but I'm not telling you not to go back either."
That was confirmation #1 for me.
I smiled and shook his hand thinking to myself, "Funny he should mention it... the week I've been contemplating about that very subject."
I rounded the corner and made my way to the Relief Society room where my friend, Sherrie, was putting away chairs.  She asked how my husband's new job was going and then asked if I had considered going back to school.  "Funny you should ask that." I responded.  And thought to myself, "Confirmation #2!"
 I had known for years that I wanted to go back but imagined it would happen when all my kids were grown, not now while they're still young.  I guess the Lord was trying to tell me He had other plans.

I began to apply to BYU's art program but every time I sat down to do it, I had a stupor of thought and couldn't bring myself to make any moves in that direction.  Everything at home and with our schedules began to fall apart too.  I remember writing in my journal how I was hitting one wall after another.  One year later, I knew that I was not meant to pursue art at BYU. (This must have been the reason I felt so blocked when I began to apply for it.)  Instead, the message came crystal clear to me that I was to go into writing and speaking.  With writing, I feel comfortable because I can deliberately lay out my words, edit, use spell check, search in a thesaurus, and so on... but with speaking, it's a little harder... I feel like I'm sorely lacking composure, articulation, and vocabulary.  What I wouldn't give to share the deep things of my heart without blubbering or melting into a puddle of tears every time!

I've spoken about all this before and the events that followed in my older post "The Weak of the Earth."  I suppose that's what makes me smile so much and why I can't seem to wipe the cheesy grin off my face whenever I'm on campus.  However weak I am, I have never felt more perfectly guided in my life, as if the Lord had me by the shoulders and was giving me step-by-step direction to exactly where I needed to be.  It's an awesome feeling to know that God is at the helm!

Taking only one class a couple of times a year means graduation day is pretty far away for me.  But I have no complaints because I'm finding so much joy in this journey back to school!

-Alicia

Only the Beginning

My nephew, Dane, returns home from his mission in January.  I can't believe it's been two years already.  What a faithful and dedicated missionary he has been!  I am so very proud of him.  As he's approached the end, he has felt very torn.  He has expressed in his letters his desire for more time.  How can it be over when it seems as if he's only just begun? There is still so much to learn, so much more to be done.

As I've pondered about this bitter-sweet moment for my nephew and the closing of his mission, I can't help but parallel it to our lives here on earth, how fast the years will go and how soon we will be called home.  Even if it isn't until we are ninety years old, will we look back at our life's mission and desire more time? What a blessing it is to know that it will not be the end, that we will go on learning, that we will continue to grow and that the sweet associations we enjoy here will be even sweeter, more beautiful, and far brighter in heaven.

Thank goodness that in the big picture, death is not the end.  We will continue on.

"One school is finished, and the time has come for another to begin." - Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Victor Hugo observed,
"The nearer I approach the end, the plainer I hear around me the immortal symphonies of the worlds which invite me. . . . For half a century I have been writing my thoughts in prose and verse; history. . . . I have tried all. But I feel I have not said a thousandth part of what is in me. When I go down to the grave, I can say, like so many others, 'I have finished my day’s work,' but I can not say, 'I have finished my life.' My day’s work will begin again the next morning. The tomb is not a blind alley; it is a thoroughfare. . . . My work is only beginning." 

-Alicia

Watchmen on the Tower

I saw this coming.  When we made the change-over into 2015, I felt it so clear:  "There will come a threshing within the church this year that will try the faith of the people." And just before October's General Conference, I was discussing with my friend, Carol, "There is so much change in the air.  Can you believe we will be getting three new apostles?  But don't you sense there is more to this?  I feel like there will be policy changes that will try the faith of the saints. They may not necessarily be announced during conference but certainly will be just a few weeks after."
She affirmed that she had been having the same impressions.
Sure enough, there was a policy change on November 5th that has indeed been a threshing among members.

This morning I read in D&C 88:79-80 where the Lord commands us to get an education "Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling where unto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you."

 I had the opportunity to go to the United Nations in March of this year.  That was an education I wasn't expecting. There my eyes were opened to the face of pure evil in the form of highly sophisticated organized groups operating under many institutions, nations, and names.... Names that no one would ever suspect because on the outside they "appear" to be doing a lot of good.  But the truth is they are "ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing" and underneath their motive is wicked, primarily driven by money and power.  The tragedy is that so many err because they are uninformed or misinformed and good people become pawns in the hands of these organizations.  If only people could catch a glimpse of what is really going on with the push for sexual rights.  It is an all-out fully-loaded cunningly devised attack to exploit and shred to pieces all that is sacred and holy.

Just over two weeks ago, I had the opportunity of attending World Congress of Families IX.  It was far more uplifting than some of the meetings I attended at the UN.  Instead of being a panel of talking heads banging themselves up against each other, it was refreshing at the WCF where everyone was unified on the real solutions to our social ills.  This was an international gathering of world and religious leaders who all agree on our need for a restoration of faith in God, protection of the family, of moral principles, and more protection of our religious liberty if we want to find healing in our homes and in our countries.

People may accuse me of being a conspiracy theorist but that doesn't bother me.  It's no surprise, we see this pattern in The Book of Mormon of which Joseph Smith said,

"The downfall of two great American civilizations came as a result of secret conspiracies whose desire was to overthrow the freedom of the people. 'And they have caused the destruction of this people of whom I am now speaking,' says Moroni, 'and also the destruction of the people of Nephi.” (Ether 8:21.)

Many factors that led to the destruction of the people could have been pointed out but notice how it was secret combinations that was the main cause.  

President Benson warned, "The greatest threat to... peace, prosperity, and the spread of God's work... is the godless conspiracy. There is no conspiracy theory in the Book of Mormon —it is a conspiracy fact."

This is one of the reasons why I esteem the Book of Mormon to be so crucial and valuable.  Those who make it their serious regular study will not be surprised in these last days to see all that will unfold.   Moroni says, “Wherefore, the Lord commandeth you, when ye shall see these things come among you that ye shall awake to a sense of your awful situation, because of this secret combination which shall be among you” (Ether 8:14.)

As much as I've witnessed "behind the curtains" there are those who have seen and do see so much more.  No one on the earth has been more educated of "things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations" than those who have been anointed as prophets, seers, and revelators.  These men have been called of God to stand as vigilant guards.

Last week, I read in Ezekiel 33 where it speaks of these great "Watchmen" and how they have given us such fair warning:

"When I bring the sword upon a land if the people of the land take a man of their coasts, and set him for their watchman:  If when he seeth the sword come upon the land, he blow the trumpet, and warn the people;  Then whosoever heareth the sound of the trumpet, and taketh not warning; if the sword come, and take him away, his blood shall be upon his own head." - Ezekiel 33:2-4

It's a sad day when the words of the prophets are rejected.  The mentality is just like my little "Revised Hymn" I wrote several years ago:

Ezekiel 33:30-33 says this
"...your people [the prophet's people or members of the Church] are talking together about you by the walls and at the doors of the houses, saying to each other, ‘Come and hear the message that has come from the Lord.’ My people come to you [the prophets], as they usually do, and sit before you to hear your words, but they do not put them into practice. Their mouths speak of love, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain.  Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice." (New International Version)

I believe the words of the living prophets and apostles.  I think we tread on dangerous ground when we take their counsel lightly or when a policy it set in place to label it as one brought on by fallible mortals.  As seers they have a clearer view of "things as they really are"...  for they see that which is unseen.  Oh how we need to trust this!  I sustain them and uphold them with all my heart.  I am not afraid to speak the truth for the truth is my sword in battle.  These watchmen stand guard to protect the city not to control it.  I choose to listen and obey.

-Alicia

Taking Notes

What a fantastic week of education this has been for me!  There is so much to learn.  I had the opportunity of attending World Congress of Families IX in Salt Lake City.  The Sutherland Institute invited our group Big Ocean to participate.  They sponsored five or six of us to stay at the Grand America Hotel with our families.  Last time I traveled with Big Ocean I was away from home for several days and I felt a little out of place being unable to touch and see my family each day.  So this was super nice to bring them along with me, to run up between meetings and leave them with little notes, treats, and hugs.

Speaking of notes... I tried to take some from all the different presenters, eager to jot their words down with pen and paper in hand.  The women from our group on either side of me sat ready to record as well.  Their pens were smoking and they wrote much quicker than I did. Because I'm so slow, I admit I had to copy from their papers most of the time.  So many wise and profound words!  I loved hearing the diverse Christian groups all stand for the same principles.

The bad news is, I lost my notebook. It wasn't fantastic, didn't have much order, and was probably only legible to me.  (Not many people can decode my scribbles.)  Nevertheless, I'm sad that I misplaced it.  I'm certain it has since been tossed in the garbage from housekeeping by now.

The good news is, the women who I went with took notes and they've captured much more than I could.  I'm grateful I at least have these to remember:

• Heather Farrell, who is well known for writing Women in the Scriptures recapped some wonderful points in her post Five Things for Friday-- World Congress of Families Edition.  She goes into detail of what Wendy Ulrich said about the stages of marriage.  Very good stuff!

• Jeanette Bennet, founder and editor of Utah Valley Magazine wrote a great article entitled 10 Ways to Defend the Family

• Taralyn Parker from our group also wrote an article in the magazine. 8 Ways to Strengthen Your Family and Community

I've asked myself and I've asked God to help me know what steps I need to take so that I might improve and be more prepared to protect the freedoms we have long enjoyed.  These are the answers that have come to me:

1. Schedule time to educate myself... yes I said "schedule." As completely unstructured as I am, I know I need to be a little more disciplined and block in a certain amount of time to read the material people like Family Watch International are putting out. Even if it is for just 20 min. per week.  I don't want to go into bondage because I have no knowledge as it says in Isaiah 5:13
2.  Read to my children more. Schedule in a regular time to do this. Don't underestimate the power of story telling.  Read to my kids and tell them of the victorious heroes from world and American history and from my own family history.  I need to make this a bigger more central part of my homeschooling.
3. Speak out - Be bold and brave but not overbearing. Share with others my testimony and convictions no matter their response, no matter if it's rejected or unpopular, or if I'm mocked for what I stand for.   “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
4. Be Optimistic.  Keep my head held high and my eyes heavenward.  Discovering the plan that Satan has is dark, ugly, and monstrous to put it mildly.  It is enough to easily bring one down to despair and horrible fear. But faith always dispels fear.  We know Who wins the battle.  We know which side wins.  God is able to do His work.  "They that be with us are more than they that be with them."  No matter what happens in my life, no matter the persecution or trial.  I know I have the power to call down heaven, to lift the veil and be surrounded by angels of God on every side.

-Alicia