The Lord is Able

"God has always asked His covenant children to do difficult things. Because you are covenant-keeping sons and daughters of God, living in the latter part of these latter days, the Lord will ask you to do difficult things. You can count on it—Abrahamic tests did not stop with Abraham. I know how unnerving it can be to be asked to do something that seems far beyond your capacity... 

But the Lord is able to do His own work, and I was privileged to watch the unfolding of one miracle after another—always, and only, after I had brought my best thinking, my most courageous efforts, and my most fervent prayers to the task... 

...anchored in pure doctrine, when you are asked to do impossible things, you will be able to step forward with faith and dogged persistence and cheerfully do all that lies in your power to fulfill the purposes of the Lord.

You will have days when you will be thoroughly discouraged. So, pray for courage not to give up!" - President Russell N. Nelson - Jan. 2017

"Something Out Of Me"

by, Nichole Nordeman

Just You and me on a hillside 

And 4,999 

If You could see on the inside 

What I brought, what I need, how I’m caught in between

You lifted bread to the blue sky 

They said they watched it just multiply 

But in the back of a long line 

Oh, I want to believe there’s enough left for me

Cause by now it really shoulda been long gone

And somehow it keeps going on and on 

On and on an on ‘cause

You take all kinds of nothing 

Turn it right in to something 

I see impossible, but You see a basket full of 

A little bit of this sounds crazy 

A little bit of just maybe 

You take every doubt and 

You make something out of me

It’s not the story that moves me 

It’s not that I don’t believe You could 

It’s just my heart is so hungry

Is there enough to fill me up 

Or will You run out of love

You take all kinds of nothing 

Turn it right in to something 

I see impossible, but You see a basket full of 

A little bit of this sounds crazy 

A little bit of just maybe 

You take every doubt and 

You make something out of me

Something out of me

By now Your love could have been long gone 

But somehow it keeps going on and on 

And...

You take all kinds of nothing 

Turn it right in to something 

I see impossible, but You see a basket full of 

A little bit of this sounds crazy 

A little bit of just maybe 

You take every doubt and 

You make something out of me

Something out of me

"And Mary said..." - Ponderize - Week 61

In our church, we use the phrase "magnify the Lord in your calling" quite a bit.  I've been thinking what it means to magnify the Lord.  All too often, we might think this means exhausting ourselves to do more, be more, to run "faster than we have strength" in order to magnify our calling but we forget "the Lord" part.

In Luke 1:46, Mary, the mother of Christ said, "My soul doth magnify the Lord."

What does it mean to magnify something? It means to increase, extend, expand, intensify. 

If it is the Lord that is the one that is magnified first in our heart and mind then He becomes bigger, stronger, more powerful than the other things that may try to consume us... like our fears, our weaknesses, our anxieties, our doubts, and even our foolish pride.  

The problems and struggles we face may seem Goliath in size, but when our soul magnifies the Lord,  we see that God is bigger than any obstacle. With this knowledge, we can do as David did: We will "hasten and [run] toward" those giants, with full confidence that we "come to [our problems] in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel" so "that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel." (1 Samuel 17:45, 46 & 48)

Through a vision that daily recognizes and embraces the all-consuming presence and power of God, we see that God is greater, He's stronger, He is more powerful than any troubles we face, and we will come off conquerors!! With God, we need not fear.   

-Alicia

Magnify

by, We Are Messengers

"One such little child"... or two

Last Sunday, I slipped into the back of the primary room and watched him as he interacted with his teacher. The boy is one year younger than my second son and probably twice as heavy--an adorably pudgy kid with dark hair, tan skin, and almond-shaped eyes.  His white collar Sunday shirt was untucked from his black slacks that were rolled up to show off his long striped socks and Air Jordan shoes.  He rarely sat still during the class and occasionally made spontaneous outbursts of animal noises. From what the other ward members had told me, his behavior has made tremendous progress since mid July, when he first began living with the young newly married couple.

He didn't notice me sitting in the back of the room... and even if he had glanced over, he wouldn't have thought anything of me being there.  He hadn't been told about me yet, even though his social worker has been working with my resource counselor to place him and his little sister in our home.

I started imagining him living with us and wondered how all of my own children would interact with him, especially my younger son, who would be his new roommate.  Fears of personality clashes, emotional adjustments, and the huge upheaval of lifestyle change for my 11-yr. old began to nag at me:  "Micah is extremely compassionate and very giving. He loves to help others but will tuck tail and run if they are ever mean--he's terribly sensitive when someone is rude to him. He's the most flexible of all of my children yet, I don't want this situation to break him or be too much for him." I continued to question, "What are we doing? Are we asking too much of all of our kids to bring these foster children in our home?" I took a deep breath and tried not to let my worries plague my mind.

I stepped out of the primary room and finished up the rest of the hour in Relief Society.  After our church services were over, I had to head down the street to watch a primary program in a neighboring ward.  It was my second program I was scheduled to watch that Sunday.

I arrived at the other church 15 minutes early.  With all my fears still weighing on me, I decided to find an empty classroom where I could just pray and study the scriptures before the program began.  Tears rolled down my face as I pled for strength to accomplish this mission God has called us to.  It will be hard for our whole family. I question my own abilities. Sometimes, I shake my head in disbelief, "Lord, why on earth do you think I can do this? I am so far from the kind of mother I want to be with my own biological children. How can I be a good mother to someone else's?" I flipped through the pages in my Bible and read, "Whoso shall receive one such little child in My name receiveth Me." (Matthew 18:5) I knew it was true!

It doesn't matter who these children belong to. Any child that comes to my home needs to know that I would receive them as if they were the Savior, Himself. I know that God's hand has been in all of this.  I do not doubt that He sent us to this very specific place because of this boy and this girl.

It was the perfect day for me to read the scripture in Matthew because at the end of both primary programs--the morning and the afternoon, the Bishop from each ward shared his testimony and quoted from the verses previous,  "And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:2-4) Comfortingly, I said to myself, "This is His work.  This is His work."

The caretaker of the foster children from my ward called me this past week and asked if I'd watch the two kids while they were on fall break.  I took them during the day for three days.  It has been good for all of us to meet them, to spend time with them.  Now they know we're foster parents.  I was surprised to see the boy was already quite familiar with our home.  He began to name where all the furniture used to be from the previous owners.  I guess his mother was friends with the woman we bought our home from and he had been here several times with her.

This weekend, we did respite care again for a nine-yr. old girl and her baby brother.  (We've watched them twice before.) There was an overlap where we had them and the two foster children who are getting placed with us--making four foster kids total in our home. Micah and Miriam also had a friend visiting for a good chunk of the day, adding two more kids to the mix. I didn't feel overwhelmed by all the children though, in fact I had more energy than I had all week long.  It was a definite tender mercy. These are the kinds of little miracles I'll need and I'll be expecting to carry us through in the future.

Today, I saw the foster children at church again.  But this time they knew me. They smiled shyly and waved from the bench across the row.  They are good kids and I can feel my heart open to them. Their caretaker is going to break the news to them this week that they'll be living with us. I don't know how long it will be before the children are placed in our home permanently--I imagine it will be less than a month.  I hope to be able to stay on top of my schoolwork because I'm so close to finishing this semester.  I continue to pray for strength beyond my own.  I pray for my husband, for my children, that we all will be able to unite through this effort and draw closer.  This is not a small undertaking.  Sometimes, I'm terrified, absolutely terrified... but we're still moving ahead... one foot in front of the other.

"[We] can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth [us]."- Philippians 4:13

-Alicia :)

Why Are We Here?

"Why is it that ye are so fearful?"

It has been almost a week now since our van has been in the repair shop.  Finally, they think they have diagnosed the problem; another circuit module issue that transmits the wrong messages and causes engine failure. It will cost us over $1,600 to replace this module just to see if they have truly pegged the culprit.  The Chevy dealer informed me their factory records indicate our van was brought into his shop on two other occasions; First, when Via Motors realized they had a failed "science experiment" on their hands and took it in at 3,000 miles due to a messed up computer system... And second, when Dastrup Auto brought it in at 6,000 miles due to a different short-circuit module.

...And here we are bringing it back at 9,000.

...Now when we do the math, it seems if we continue with this vehicle, we will have nothing but nightmares every 3,000 miles. We just can't get over why NONE of this was on the CarFax, not a trace!

My husband has begun to ask some of the same questions I was asking last Saturday: "Why didn't the Spirit warn us?  Why did we feel fine about everything when we made the purchase?"

Last night, Joseph couldn't contain his frustration as he shouted, "I'm not so sure I even understand what the purpose of praying about anything does anymore, especially when we can't even recognize the answers! Why do we keep being led into situations like this?! Maybe we haven't been led at all?"

I understood his feelings but there was nothing I could say to console him.  He continued,

"Alicia, what if we move into this house and find out that we are in way over our heads?! What if we have emergency repairs crop up like these cars but only a hundred times worse?! What do we do then? We can't do anything because we're bound into these contracts!  Do you realize we're stuck!! Absolutely stuck!! And don't tell me to 'keep the faith', I'm tired of hearing that it will all work out because it's not! Nothing is working out!  This is a huge mess and faith hasn't gotten us anywhere!!"

I didn't know what to say to him.  I was completely at a loss of words. I get what he's saying, I totally get where he's coming from. I don't know what to do either. We are expected to close on our house in two weeks. What are we doing?!! This is crazy!!

Somehow, I still really feel like we're going to be okay (aside from the ulcers I think I'm developing.  I can't pretend that these past few months haven't been horribly uncomfortable and terribly strenuous).

I've been reading in the first chapter of Nephi again and I suppose with Lehi's journey, they could've had some similar doubts about the directions they were given:

• If the brass plates were so important and if Lehi was so inspired, why didn't the Lord command Lehi's family to get them before they left Jerusalem? Why did they have to travel all the way out of the city for miles and then backtrack? Isn't that wasted time and energy?

• If Nephi was such a spiritual guy, why did he have the idea to give all their family's gold and silver to negotiate the trade with Laban only to have that attempt completely backfire and lose all their money? Doesn't it seems like a completely pointless loss?

I don't know the answers to these questions anymore than I know the answers to our current situation. I just know that the Lord won't let us fail.  And in the words of Nephi, "I know that He shall prepare a way for [us] to accomplish the things He has commanded us", the things that matter most.

And what matters most at this point?

It matters that we keep praying, keep moving, keep believing, keep focusing on and recognizing the blessings and the good that is happening through all of this.  I honestly don't think the Lord is so extremely concerned with what, in life, happens to us - Instead, I believe God is far more interested in how we choose to happen to life.  It's so important that no matter the circumstances, no matter the difficulties, we choose to remain faithful to God, "at all times, in all things, and in all places, even unto death." (Mosiah 18:9)

I read a talk by Elder L. Whitney Clayton from 2001, that corresponded with my scripture study this morning and I greatly appreciated this testimony:

All of us have come face-to-face with difficult, even desperate hours, when with tears we have fallen on our knees and pled as did this father, ‘Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.’

Just as the Savior stood ready to help this father whose son was “sore vexed,” (Matt. 17:15) so is He ready to help our unbelief today so that with faith we can survive our mortal struggles and “come off conqueror.” (D&C 10:5)

Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel and is more than mere belief.  Faith is a “hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” “Faith always moves its possessor to … physical and mental action.”  “To have faith in Jesus Christ means to have such trust in him that we obey whatever he commands. There is no faith where there is no obedience.”

[See  A of F 1:4 Bible Dictionary, “Faith,” 669–70.] ( Alma 32:21 see also  Heb. 11:1  Ether 12:6) [Bible Dictionary, 670.] [Gospel Principles (1997), 118.]

Amidst all these storms and turmoil, we have had miraculous blessings and this past week we’ve started a family ritual to go around taking turns mentioning something about the day that was a tender mercy. These are some that have been mentioned:

1. Vick's generosity and help at the Laundromat last Saturday
2. The guy who did our home inspection decided for no apparent reason to charge us $100 LESS than he usually charges.
3. My friend, Jenn Peterson, helped drive my kids around all day Tues.
4. My friend, Suzanne, let me borrow her car yesterday afternoon so I could get some groceries and get my kids to their music lessons and orthodontist appointments.
5. Right when I was returning Suzanne’s car, my friend, Doyle, called to tell me that he and his wife were leaving on a two-week trip and said we could use their Mitsubishi while they were away.

None of these tender mercies were things we asked for but were freely offered. THIS is what faith is doing for us!!  THIS is what prayers are doing for us!  This is WHY I believe things are going to be alright. The Lord has said so clear, “Alicia, if I want bread, I can get bread. If I want fish, I can get fish.” I believe Him. As hard as all of this is and as hard as it may be, I know we are going to be okay

... and for the times when I'm not so strong and fear pulls me down beneath the tumultuous waves, I pray, 'Lord, help thou my unbelief!'

-Alicia

"Why is it that ye are so fearful?"

My husband sent me this really great message while he was at work this afternoon. It made me cry. (good tears of course, very good tears)

Hey,

I had a g+ notification this morning from a post by Pres. Uchtdorf.  I think I felt the power of what he was saying and I am choosing to believe this words and trust in them.  I just wanted to share it as we move forward.  I still don't know where the end of this road is, but I believe choosing faith in this situation will get us much further than choosing fear and doubt.  Here is what he said:

"The Lord knows you. He knows your heart and is pleased with your sacrifice. He smiles upon you each day. He will uphold you and prepare the way for you. He will send His angels before you. You will feel their presence. And with the help of heaven, your talents will be multiplied.

I promise you that as you lift those around you, the Lord God, the Creator of the universe, will lift you up. If you will only believe and incline your heart to our Beloved Father, He will place within you a peace that surpasses understanding. He will give you joy. May each of you always remember this."

"Nearer my God to Thee, nearer to Thee!  E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me."  

If we draw nearer to God in this, no cost will be too much.  We get to choose faith and it is a privilege that we can choose faith in a situation like this.  My hope and prayer in all of this is that this cross will raise us up to Him.  

Be patient with me as I work through my pride as it manifests itself in anger, frustration and doubts and fears.

I love you... but I love the Lord more ;)  But I know my love of the Lord will only increase my love for you.  I hope to be able to grow in that more.  I know it doesn't always show up that way.


Just some thoughts.
Joseph

May God's Love Be With You!

A week ago, we finished our Book of Mormon reading as a ward family.  For our final activity, we all wrote our testimonies on "gold" plates and buried them in our Bishop's backyard. They will fit nicely there with King Benjamin's tower, the buried weapons of war, and the Jaredite barge [aka: his carriage house]. Words can't express how much I'll miss these adventures we've had in this place.

Leading up to that final event last week, I studied what it meant to "lay hold upon every good thing" (Moroni 7:19).  I searched the definition and discovered "lay hold" means to "seize" as in "seize the day".  Of course, this reminded me of my favorite movie, Mitty, and how Cheryl's influence caused Walter to seize the day.

I've written about it before, the secret to life....  To tell the truth, It's on my mind constantly... so it may come as no surprise that I thought about it again this morning as I studied the New Testament and came across these verses, "Ye are all the children of the light and the children of the day... let us who are of the day, be sober [calm, reasonable, and clear thinking], putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation." (1 Thessalonians 5:5,8)

In this modern age there is warfare of all kinds, not just physical but spiritual and emotional too.  In the midst of  battle, the most vital areas are the chest and head -So, I really like the imagery Paul uses as he instructs us how to protect them.

When I think of Salvation for our helmet, I think of "always remembering Him" [our Savior and His atoning sacrifice for us].  This is vital because we are fallible, we are mortal, we make mistakes, and we're so very far from perfect. The Savior knew we would need hope in life's moments that hit us so painfully with this reality.  Truly, what can bring more hope into our lives than knowing and always remembering that we have a way out of every tangled mess and that He delights to untangle us?!!

The breastplate covers our heart and lungs - the place where cells draw in life-giving air and carry it to our life-giving blood.  The functions of the these organs in our chest give us LIFE, they sustain us. we could not exist without them.  That's why I find it interesting that they are protected by faith and love, the two most powerful forces in the universe!

Henry Drummond put it beautifully when he said, "On the last analysis, then, love is life. Love never faileth and life never faileth so long as there is love."  

Finally, the other words I read that added to this imagery were these, "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks." (1 Thes. 5:16-18)  

If we could remember these three things today and everyday: Mind, Heart, and Mouth - it will help us "lay hold" and seize the day - to become who we are striving to become. It will preserve us in the heat of battle, always remembering the Savior and His great atoning sacrifice, being motivated and driven by faith and love, constantly praying, constantly communicating with God and striving in all our relationships to speak with more gratitude and offer more thanks when we open our mouth.

I know as we do this we will discover the secret to a very rich, and very abundant life!

We are children of the day!  Aw man, I'm so grateful for all the SUNSHINE that adds a measure of grace to my world!
Keep dancin'
-Alicia

All Planned Out - Ponderize - Week 49

I'm delighted to share what I found in my scriptures this morning and what I'll be pondering on for the week!  Now, the verse I'm sharing is from a very modern translation of the Bible and I know that as members of the church we usually stick to the KJV but I really, really like how this verse comes to life with The Message version:

"This is God’s Word on the subject... I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.
When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.
Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.
I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you—God’s Decree—bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it."

- Jeremiah 29:11-14

I also really like how it sounds in the first couple verses of the NIV version:

 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the Lord,” 

- Jeremiah 29:11-13

I found a little song that seems fitting for the verse too.  I find peace when I remember that God has everything under control.  It will all work out! :)

-Alicia

Dear Alexa - August 27th, 2016

Dear Alexa,

Names are always interesting to me.  I love to look up names and search for their origin or meaning.  To me, it can be a source of direction in life.

Alexa is a female form of Alexander, and is sometimes also a short form of Alexandra, both of which come from the Greek, Alexandros. It can be broken down into alexo meaning "to defend" and ander, meaning "man"' making both Alexa and Alexander mean defender of man.

Today as you enter the waters of Baptism you are entering a covenant to take upon yourself a new name.  That new name is Jesus Christ.

For "There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ, all you that have entered into the covenant with God that ye should be obedient unto the end of your lives." (Mosiah 5:8)

And what does Christ's name mean?  

To me it means; Savior, Friend, Redeemer, Helper, Counselor, Light, Truth, Love, Kindness, Compassion, Virtue, Purity, Integrity, Honor, Holiness, Complete and Utter Selflessness, Hope, Grace, Joy, Healer, Forgiveness, The Way Through, The Way Back, The Way Home

Alexa, all your life, since you were very little, you have desired with your whole heart for pure and honest truth, to surround yourself with purity, goodness, and virtue.  Do you remember a couple years ago the summer before school started we had that discussion about the friends we choose and how you ached so much and longed to find friends who you could share these deep desires with, friends you could have spiritual discussions with, and talk about the fuller and richer meaning of life?  Do you remember how you prayed with all your heart for this?  Do you remember the Priesthood Blessing Joseph gave you before that school year?  And do you remember how things unfolded and the new people that miraculously came into your life?  These were the friends and the people you and I and grandma and grandpa had been praying for.  The way your life aligned with these new friends was not a coincidence.  Through this experience, you witnessed a very real and personal Father in Heaven who answered your deep and heart-felt prayer.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other.”

And just as much as these friends were an answer to your prayers.  I am confident that you were an answer to theirs.  

Do you remember when you were nervous to take seminary because you were afraid you didn't have enough gospel knowledge or that because you weren't a member, you were afraid you might embarrass yourself or stand out too much? 

 Do you remember what I said?  

I said, "Alexa, you have no idea how much those other students in Seminary will need you.  You WILL stand out, of that I'm sure!  You will stand out because you will be the girl who goes to Seminary without having to be told to, you'll go because you WANT to, because you CHOOSE to... even when you face strong opposition and opinions from others that tell you going to church and seminary is nonsense, that it's foolish, and that you could occupy yourself with better things. Your friends in Seminary will need you not because you are a gospel scholar or have all the answers but because you will be an example to them of immense courage and powerful faith.  You will be a bright light and a beautiful example to them."

Alexa, you have been living with the name of Christ on your heart all of your life, even when you didn't realize it.  But now this sacred ordinance is eternally binding and you are proving to God through covenant and Priesthood authority, which will make His name much powerful in your life.  

Before I close my talk, I want to share one more thought about your name.  Your middle name, "Lee" means something very significant, it means "Shelter"  Why would this be important? Well if "Alexo" or "Alexa" means "Defender" then "Alexa Lee" means  "Defender of the Shelter" I'll explain why that's significant:

The Prophet, Isaiah, speaks of a shelter in reference to the House of the Lord, to the Temple, "And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert (or shelter) from storm and from rain." - Isaiah 4:6

Baptism is the gate that leads you to that beautiful home away from Home (spelled with a capital H).  There are many in the world who mock the work that goes on in the temple, many who do not understand the sacredness and beauty of how and why we do what we do there. I suppose  someone who has never witnessed a graduation ceremony with processions, robes,caps, and gowns, (you know... ceremonial things we don't see every day) they might find it somewhat strange... 

but we are so used to graduation ceremonies in our culture that we don't even bat an eyelash at them.  The robe, cap, and gown are all symbols of victory and honor.  It's a beautiful thing.  

To be honest, I didn't understand the temple when I first went through but I have gone hundreds of times since and I can stand here and say with all my heart that I love temple. the ordinances, the ceremonies performed, the covenants, the promises pronounced on my head, I love it all!! The temple is my refuge, my safe place, my "shelter" from the storm.

So when you see or hear your name "Alexa Lee"  I want you to think of it as "Defender of the Shelter" or "Defender of the Temple."  You will have plenty of voices and forces that would oppose you and the Temple, many who don't understand that would keep you from this most beautiful place.  But do not let them.  It will never be popular. But it's not about popularity, it's about PURPOSE.   Be strong Alexa Lee, and always defend it.  Defend it by the way you live, by the words you speak, by the example you set, and the choices you make. Renew your covenants you make today each Sunday with the Sacrament.  

Someday, when you build your family, you will strive to make a sacred place within the walls of your own home, your place of shelter.  You will be key in setting the tone of the Spirituality level for your children.  A loving family unit centered on gospel principles is a very real shelter in any community, any place that it is established in the world. Let Alexa Lee also mean "Defender of the Family".

Be the light you have always been but now go forward shining even brighter, more boldly and more confidently, because heaven and earth know and it is recorded in the eternities that you are committed through covenant and endowed with Priesthood power.

Make diligent scripture study, sincere heart-felt prayer, and journal writing  part of your every day life and you will never have to walk in darkness.

I love you Alexa.  I love this gospel.  What you are doing is right.  I know it is true forever and always!

Bless you for your courage, for your faith, we are all cheering you on here today and so are thousands upon thousands of unseen angels.

"Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."- 2 Nephi 31:20

Love,

Alicia

Dear Kaylee

My youngest child was baptized today.  Of all the hymns she could have picked for the closing song of the services, she chose to sing "Angels We Have Heard On High".  Even though it's the beginning of August and this is a Christmas piece, I thought her selection was perfect!  After all, I have no doubt that angels were rejoicing with songs of gloria at her decision to enter into a covenant with Christ.  Her choice today will affect generations to come in so many wonderful ways!

With each of my kid's baptisms, I've had a tradition of writing what I call "A Mother's Blessing" in the cover of the new set of scriptures they receive.  These are my words to Kaylee on this special day.

....

"Dear Kaylee,
I'm so proud of your decision to be baptized.  Your first name means "pure" and your middle name, Elizabeth, means "My God is an oath."  Today, through our Savior, and every day of your life, always remember that it is Him who makes you pure, it is Christ that makes you whole.

Kaylee, an oath is a promise, a vow... and when you make the promise to testify of Christ, to keep His commandments, and to always remember Him, then He makes a promise that you will always have His spirit to be with you... and this is the covenant you enter at baptism.  This is powerful!

Kaylee, I pray you will always seek the words of Christ in your life because they will always lead you right.  His words are to be found in these scriptures!  In the scriptures, you will also discover that they testify of the great importance and vital need for prophets and apostles.  Always remember that whether it is by [Christ's] own voice or by the voice of [His] servants, it is the same." (D&C 1:38)  Always remember Him by treasuring His word and let it sink deep within the soil of your heart with constant nourishment.

Kaylee, another thing you will notice in the scriptures is a pattern of behavior that destroyed many people even entire civilizations.  This pattern was pride, arrogance, vanity and selfishness.  It is a temptation we all struggle with to some extent in our lives.  We lose sight of what matters most and begin to think that happiness will come when we are popular, when we are beautiful, when we are recognized or praised by others.  Avoid the temptation to be self-centered.  It will only bring grave disappointment and breed envy and hate.

Seek to live as the Savior did with an outside focus to constantly seek for opportunities to lose yourself, to openly praise the good in others, to recognize true beauty found in pure and honest hearts.

Never forget your Divine worth.  You don't need the lime-light, you need the Savior's light!  The world is His stage and you are already the center of it.  There is no other approval that even remotely compares to that which comes from the God of the Universe, " Well done, my good and faithful servant!" (Matt 25:21)

I love you, my sweet compassionate Kaylee!

Love, Mom"

In Our Wilderness

23 more days until our last one living here and we have to be out.  We still don't know where we're moving to.  We looked at a home that is very close in our neighborhood and were excited for all the possibilities.  It had 5 bedrooms + a two bedroom mother-in-law apartment we could rent out to help with our mortgage payments.

Joseph and I went to the temple early morning yesterday before we made an offer and both felt very strongly that we needed to contact a couple of people.  We called our two friends and they both spent over a couple hours with us at the house.  My friend, Shelley, is going to be our agent and she made a lot of phone calls to the city while we were touring the place for the second and third time.  She discovered that the mother-in-law apartment the people had there is totally illegal and that the whole thing has been in open investigation for some time... Instead of it being an asset it would have been a huge liability.  Our friend, Ben, who is very experienced with home building, was able to show us other warning signs our untrained eyes couldn't see before.  It really was a blessing and we know the Lord was looking out for us by giving us inspiration to call these two.

It looks like we might have to live out of a storage unit for a while.  My friend, Shelley, graciously offered her RV and we may just take her up on that.  Who knows... turn this into a little "vacation".  It will be an adventure for sure!!

 I'm so thankful for the comforting words of the scriptures as we journey into "our wilderness". My husband's best friend keeps telling our family that he really feels God will "part the Red Sea" for us. Even though, we don't know where "our promised land" will be. The Israelites wandered for 40 years. I can be grateful in knowing it won't take us that long to "find the place which God for us prepared". Like Moses and Lehi in the wilderness; I truly believe in miracles and marvelous manifestations of God. I know without a shadow of doubt that His hand is in the very details of our lives and as we seek Him, He will lead us right. I know it!

"Never be weary of good works... be meek and lowly in heart; for such shall find rest to their souls... Learn wisdom... Keep the Commandments... Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and withersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord... Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good... Let thy heart be full of thanks unto God. And behold, [the Liahona] was prepared to show unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness. And it did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day." - Alma 37:34-40

"We were moving mountains long before we knew we could... 

There can be miracles when you believe."

-Alicia

Peace From Invulnerable Faith

“Two artists each painted a picture to illustrate his conception of rest. The first chose for his scene a still, lone lake among the far-off mountains. It was a serene and beautiful scene; yes, very calming, very restful to look at. But the second artist, on his canvas, wildly painted a thundering waterfall. You could almost hear the roaring of the water. But a closer look revealed a fragile birch tree bending over the mist of the roaring water. At the fork of the branch, wet with spray, there sat a robin on its nest.” -Henry Drummond

It is this second illustration that I find so intriguing and most easy to relate to:

This peace is something found in our Father in Heaven, in the sure knowledge of His power through Christ and the intimate involvement of Them in our lives manifested by the Spirit of God.  This peace grows like a seed through a myriad of our own experiences and trials of faith over a life-time.

The beauty is discovered when we realize that such peace is not the absence of struggle, tension, opposition, or pain... rather it is a perfect calm in the midst of all these things.  A perfect trust in our Father in Heaven that casts out any fear of what might or might not unfold tomorrow.  It comes from knowing one's own intentions and knowing their path is aligned with God's.  This peace is the fruit born out of those personal moments where we come to know for ourselves something of God's omnipotence, omniscience, and infinite love for us, where we come to know that He holds everything in His perfect hands.

It's strange how even in the midst of struggle or turmoil there is also a sense of joy, like a robin singing in its nest... not because everything is running smoothly or how we might expect it to, but because it is anchored in what really matters and trusts the Hand that governs such matters.

Through deep and regular prayer - day in and day out, through daily consistent and regular study of the scriptures, and through constant striving to apply God's word and seek His spirit, I have tasted of His love and awareness for me again, and again, and again.

This morning, I reviewed a few conference talks given a couple of weeks ago and feel as if this quote from Jeffery R. Holland is completely fitting for the subject of invulnerable faith:

"[God's] love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our daily life. Indeed it is only with that reassurance burning in our soul that we can have the confidence to keep trying to improve, keep seeking forgiveness for our sins, and keep extending that grace to our neighbor.

President George Q. Cannon once taught: “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]. … He will [always] stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them.” - Jeffrey R. Holland - Tomorrow the Lord will Do Wonders

As Henry Drummond so beautifully wrote, I also testify that "Rest... is the mind at leisure from itself.  It is the perfect poise of the soul; the absolute adjustment of the inward man to the stress of all outward things; the preparedness against every emergency; the stability of assured convictions; the eternal calm of an invulnerable faith; the repose of a heart set deep in God.  It is the mood of the man who says, with Browning, 'God's in His Heaven, all's well with the world.'"

And so... "Whatever tomorrow brings, together we'll rise and sing that we won't be shaken."

-Alicia :)
He Showed Me How

The Good Fight

Yesterday during class, we reviewed Abraham Lincoln's First Inaugural Address. I can't even begin to imagine how frightening it would have been to become the president of the United States when   political tensions and polarized views defining liberty had led the people to the brink of an all-out civil war.  It was supposed to be the "United" States and yet, it was anything but united. Feeling the looming clouds of heated battle, Lincoln desperately tried to ease the anxieties of the South and in the last part of his address as he plead, "I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."  He was trying to remind the people of who they were: brothers, sisters, neighbors, friends, fellow Americans, and that the fight was for unity, for liberty and not against each another.  Unity would come as we implored "The better angels of our nature," I really love that wording because I believe the majority of people on this earth are good, even if we have opposing or conflicting views.

Fast-forward 155 years and observe the current conversations in today's political arena and I can't help but feel like we're on the brink of another civil war.

My daughter, Kaylee, has a favorite song she asks me to play for her quite often.  It's called The Good Fight by, Unspoken.  A couple of weeks ago, we rented a movie called War Room and Kaylee's face lit up with excitement to hear her song played in the movie.  War Room is a reminder of what the war is really about and who the real enemy is. What is the good fight?  It's not against our brothers and sisters, our children or our spouse, our neighbors or friends... for "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:12)

In my scripture studies this morning I read the verses in Alma where he exhorts the people to pray in every place and over everything. (34:17-27) and I thought of War Room.  I don't have a closet I can kneel in but I do have a place I can always go with my pleadings.  And when I am not in position to be on my knees in prayer, my "heart is full drawn out" to my Father in Heaven "continually for [the] welfare" of my family and my neighbor's families. (Alma 34:27)

I'm not about to give up in this fight, the good fight: praying and pleading, seeking the Spirit, striving to serve where needed, changing my own heart, and seeking understanding, hoping for the best, trusting in the Grace of my Savior, loving when I'm not loved in return, and sharing truth... I will continue even if I wear out all my days doing so and never see the fruit of my labors.

I'll close my post with this portion of Elder Holland's talk, "However Long and Hard the Road."

-Alicia

"Is it not significant that early in his life Joseph Smith was taught this lesson three times in the same night and once again the next morning? Moroni, quoting the Lord verbatim as recorded by the prophet Joel, said: “I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:

“And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit” (Joel 2:28–29).

Dreaming dreams and seeing visions. The Lord’s spirit upon all flesh—sons and daughters, old and young, servants and handmaidens. I may be wrong, but I can’t imagine an Old Testament verse of any kind that could have helped this boy prophet more. He was being called into the battle of his life, for life itself, or at least for its real meaning and purpose. He would be driven and hunted and hounded. His enemies would rail and ridicule. He would see his children die and his land lost and his marriage tremble. He would languish in prison through a Missouri winter, and he would cry out toward the vault of heaven, “O God, where art thou? … How long … O Lord, how long” (D&C 121:1–3). Finally he would walk the streets of his own city uncertain who, except for a precious few, were really friend or actually foe. And all that toil and trouble, pain and perspiration would end so maliciously at Carthage—when there simply were finally more foes than friends. Felled by balls fired from the door of the jail inside and one coming through the window from outside, he fell dead into the hands of his murderers at 38 years of age.

If all of this and so much more was to face the Prophet in such a troubled lifetime, and if he finally knew what fate awaited him in Carthage, as he surely did, why didn’t he just quit somewhere along the way? Who needs it? Who needs the abuse and the persecution and the despair and death? It doesn’t sound fun to me, so why not just zip shut the cover of your scriptures, hand in your Articles of Faith cards, and go home?

Why not? For the simple reason that he had dreamed dreams and seen visions. Through the blood and the toil and the tears and the sweat, he had seen the redemption of Israel. It was out there somewhere—dimly, distantly—but it was there. So he kept his shoulder to the wheel until God said his work was finished.

And what of the other Saints? What were they to do with a martyred prophet, a persecuted past, and a hopeless future? With Joseph and Hyrum gone, shouldn’t they have just quietly slipped away also—somewhere, anywhere? What was the use? They had run and run and run. They had wept and buried their dead. They had started over so many times that their hands were bloodied and their hearts were bruised. In the name of sanity and safety and peace, why didn’t they just quit?

Well, it was those recurring dreams and compelling visions. It was spiritual strength. It was the fulfillment they knew to be ahead, no matter how faint or far away." - Jeffrey R. Holland

A Song and a Prayer - Ponderize - Week 22

I discovered a new song a few days ago.  Whenever I listen to this, I imagine Enos and what a deep and soulful prayer looks and sounds like - To cry out to Father in Heaven, begging for answers, begging for the Spirit to guide, to open my eyes, to forgive me for everything I am blind to and for everything I lack, to take me out of my place or set me where I need to be. - To offer up all my gratitude for this moment of prayer, knowing I can empty out everything in my heart and lay it before Him and not feel condemned for any foolishness displayed.  I'm grateful that He sees it all - He is my safe place.  "He answers privately, Reaches my reaching In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, Love without end." (Where Can I Turn for Peace Hymn 129) 

When I think of hunger, I also think of  Psalms 23 and how the Good Shepherd leads me to green pastures and streams of living water.  In Him I have my everything.  It is from Him, from His spirit where all goodness and mercy flows.  His rod and staff (His word and Priesthood) comfort me.
   

Hungry

by, Mercyme

"Hungry, I come to You for I know, 

You satisfy.

I am empty but I know Your love,

Does not run dry.

So I wait for You,

So I wait for You.

I'm falling on my knees,

Offering all of me,

Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

Broken I run to You, for Your arms

Are open wide.

I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life.

So I wait for You,

Oh I wait for You.

I'm falling on my knees,

Offering all of me,

Jesus, You're all this heart is living for."

"My soul hungered and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto Him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto Him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.... And I, Enos, knew it would be according to the covenant which he had made; wherefore my soul did rest." - Enos 1:4, 17

-Alicia

"You Can't Close My Heart"

Have you ever heard of The Freeze?  Members of the church in Ghana were banned by their own government from gathering in meetinghouses and missionaries were kicked out.  If they were caught, some were arrested for trying to hold sacrament meeting in their home.  This ban lasted 18 months from June,1989 to Nov. 1990.  This was not a restriction God-imposed but one of man, even still... there was so much good that came out of it.  One brother in this story said something he learned that I'll never forget, "You can close my mouth, but you can't close my heart."

I am inspired by the numerous blessings born of the trials and heartache they went through; Opportunities were expanded, they experience greater unity, stronger conversion, and a depth of appreciation for the simple gifts of the Gospel.

I know with all my heart that if we stay fixed and focused on our Savior, the very things that hurt the greatest and cut the deepest will cause the best things to grow.

-Alicia

Daddy, did you know?

It's been a busy week as I've been preparing things for school where I have a big essay due and I have a lesson for church (I'm a little nervous to give.)
Also, we've invented a new fairy in our family (well, my mom invented her and I've carried on the tradition for sixteen years.)  The "Valentine's Fairy" comes every night for a whole week before the big day and leaves treats or trinkets with a cheesy little valentine note attached.... I mean really cheesy. :P  Anyway, it's my best friend's birthday on Monday too and I've wanted to prepare something nice for her.  Needless to say, there's been a lot of wonderful things to keep me busy.  I had a thought to call my brother, Kenneth. It's been a couple of months since we talked last over the phone.  But in all the rush, I just didn't get around to it.  He must have been thinking the same thing because he beat me to the call. (We seem to do that a lot.)  It was refreshing to take an hour spending time with him, an hour I don't think I had but it was extremely worth it. He shared a great story with me:

Kenneth and his wife, Kaylee, are expecting their second child.  Their first is Lily who is four-years-old. Ken and Kaylee live in Fort Worth, TX. They attend a wonderful Christian church on Sundays and send Lily there for pre-school during the week.  Job positions where my brother works have received cut-backs of nearly 58,000.  As they've worked their way from the bottom up to the more senior employees and it's now getting close to him.  He's been terrified to have another baby at this point especially because his wife will quit work and financially it just doesn't look good for him as a father and provider.

One morning, he lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, petitioning God for comfort, worrying about what was going to happen next and how things would ever work out.  Four-year-old Lily came walking in and stood at his bedside.  With an excitement in her voice she looked at her father and asked, "Daddy, did you know that God can do anything?  And did you know that Peter tried to walk on the water and became afraid but... did you know that God can do anything!"
His heart began to burst. "Yes baby, you are absolutely right," Kenneth responded with tears streaming down his face. The timing couldn't have been more perfect for her to come in and say what she did.

As my brother related this story, he had to pause for a moment to compose himself because even the memory of it made him emotional.  "Alicia," he said, "It's a complete miracle.... she hasn't just done this once but several mornings when I have laid there with my mind and heart overwhelmed. And each time she has come into my room, stood by my bed and said the very same thing. It is as if God sent her as an angel in those moments to comfort me."
I agreed with him and we had a wonderful time bearing testimony of how aware the Lord is of us. This is why I love talking with my brother so much. I'm so glad he called in the middle of all my chaos.

What a powerful lesson from the pure heart of a child!  "Did you know... God can do anything!"
 Faith as a Child
-Alicia