We Determine Our Response

Is it just me, or does it seem like society in general today is far more sensitive and explosive than it has ever been? It has almost become a sport, a favorite pastime, to find any and all high-profile people and examine them under a microscope, pinpoint each flaw, and then expose them to the world like a giant boil through social media and gossip threads. Satan must be loving the whirlwind of contention and pride this kind of behavior causes. He thrives on pessimism and cynicism.

To illustrate the scrutiny we put each other under in today’s world, I had this experience:

The other day, I felt bad for nagging my oldest son, so I wrote him a little apology email and was searching for a funny little GIF to attach of a nagging mom. The sidebar of videos drew my attention, “Mom Nagging Her Son Caught On Tape” and “Check Out My Nagging Mother” - It was terrible! These were teenagers who sneakily captured on video their moms and exploited their weakness all over Youtube. I thought to myself, “Man, nobody can make any kind of mistake these days without the risk of it being advertized!”  This shame culture drives me nuts! These kids seem to only recognize how bad shaming is when it’s directed at them but don’t have a clue that they are shaming right back.

I’m at 3 Nephi Chapter 6 in my personal scripture study.  Verse 15 stood out to me today, “Some were lifted up in pride, and others were exceedingly humble; some did return railing for railing, while others would receive railing and persecution and all manner of afflictions, and would not turn and revile again, but were humble and penitent before God.”

Then I read this quote in my study guide by Marvin J. Ashton, “Certainly one of our God-given privileges is the right to choose what our attitude will be in any given set of circumstances. We can let the events that surround us determine our actions—or we can personally take charge and rule our lives, using as guidelines the principles of pure religion. Pure religion is learning the gospel of Jesus Christ and then putting it into action. Nothing will ever be of real benefit to us until it is incorporated into our own lives.”

Our society is so quick to criticize, so quick to exploit the weaknesses of others.  What would happen if people did the reverse and spent more time searching out the virtues in each other and publishing those things to the world? What if people practiced forgiveness for offences instead of harboring hatred, assumed the best instead of exposing the worst? I just feel like shouting, “Where is the love people?! Where is the love?!” [insert song by Black Eyed Peas ;)]

-Alicia

How's It Going to End?

Everyday life rarely turns out how we expect it to. With all our planning and organizing, something usually happens that wasn't planned, something that blindsided us or took us completely by surprise. They can happen in a split-second or can be gradual.

Just look over the last twenty years of your life and look at where you are now. What percentage of the events through that time period fell in line exactly how you imagined they would?
What did you do with those unexpected twists and turns?
Did you grow from them, learn from them?
How did they shape your life into what it is today?

If you had the power to do so and with the perspective you have now, would you go back in time and change those unexpected events so that things worked out more according to your imagination? Why or why not?

What choices mattered most and what has turned out to not matter at all?

Sometimes, I like to imagine myself twenty years into the future asking my present self these same questions. It helps me to put things into perspective.

Life can turn on a dime. There are really few things within our control from day to day but those few things within our control are so incredibly valuable and powerful! We can ask ourselves...
What will I choose to occupy my thoughts?
How will I choose to extend my love?
What can I do to make the most of the time I have in this very moment?

Neal A. Maxwell once said, "Life’s necessary defining moments come within our allotments, and we make 'on the record' choices within these allotments. Our responses are what matter. Sufficient unto each life are the tests thereof!"- Content with the Things Allotted unto Us (see  Matt. 6:34)

Even with all the unexpected events we will inevitably face, we still have a great deal of control with how it all will end. Even without knowing the details, our hearts can be full of hope for the future.

"The joy we experience in this life will be in direct proportion to how well our lives are centered on the teachings, example, and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ." -By Elder Richard J. Maynes
Of the Presidency of the Seventy

Seven "Take-Aways" From Groundhog Day

Every February 2nd we watch the movie Groundhog Day.  My husband and I love the messages from it.  These are seven things we've learned:


1. The worst kind of ruts to be stuck in are the deep repugnant trenches of self-centeredness and ego.

2. Nobody misses a jerk.
     "The wretch, concentered all in self,
       Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
      And, doubly dying, shall go down
      To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,
      Unwept, unhonored, and unsung.
                                -Sir Walter Scott

3. It's important to have consequences, both good and bad. That's how we learn. That's how we grow.

4. When you do good, do it for the right reasons. You can't fake your way into lasting relationships. If motives are not genuine, the masquerade may work for a while but the insincerity will eventually be sniffed out.

5. You can rise above the cold, dark, and bleak. Phil turned his life around when he was still in the middle of winter's bitter chill. He even discovered aspects of the season that prepared his mind to love it, even if it meant the rest of his life.  Gratitude!

6. To learn a new talent or master a new skill takes time and lots of practice, day after day, after day.

7. Make a conscious effort to look around each day and see who you can help in small and simple ways. Only when Phil genuinely began to care for others, the mundane didn't matter so much.  In fact, he found beauty and fulfillment in the day-in day-out routine.

Escaping the Vacuum Cycle of Self
-Alicia

Not On My Watch

My friend gave our family her old Xbox last week, including several games.  I haven't known my friend for very long but she is an active member of the Church.  I was shocked at the kinds of games she gave us, the ratings were for mature and teen: images of women scantily dressed and provocatively posed, and terribly violent games. To my friend's credit, maybe she was getting rid of these games because she recognized the lack of wisdom in allowing such things into her home, how this kind of entertainment goes against the standards the Prophets have laid out.  I thanked her graciously for the Xbox.  (She doesn't know I threw all but one of the games away.) We kept Madden 16. :)

As a wife and mother who has witnessed loved ones in my family and extended family struggle with pornography, hatred or  blind rage, I cannot let my guard down with the things I allow into my home "because it's only a game".  I am the guardian of this hearth!

My foster son comes from a home where there were no rules with video games or movies, or any kind of entertainment.  In fact, almost his whole entire life has been spent being babysat in a corner by a TV screen or video game.  The effects have been very damaging to his social behavior, his life perceptions and views, his aggression/temper, and his eating habits. When he first came to live with us, he discovered we had very strict rules with our screen time.  He displayed quite a bit of frustration and resistance to our rules.  But after two months, he has shown incredible improvement! I was so proud of him the other day when he said he didn't really care so much about video games anymore and that he was happy with all the other ways we spent our time.

President Hinckley chose to read the Proclamation on the Family to the General Relief Society as his very first audience.  There is a reason he chose the women of the Church first, he said. “You are the guardians of the hearth,” he told the sisters. “You are the bearers of the children. You are they who nurture them and establish within them the habits of their lives. No other work reaches so close to divinity as does the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God.” -(Gordon B. Hinckley, “Stand Strong against the Wiles of the World,” 101)

It is me who establishes the habits of my children's lives, me! I have a great responsibility on my shoulders.  These things are not allowed in my home, not on my watch. I pray they will recognize the joy that comes from choosing the better part, from choosing virtue and goodness.

"Never has there been a more complex time in the history of the earth. Satan and his minions have been perfecting the weapons in their arsenal for millennia, and they are experienced at destroying faith and trust in God and in the Lord Jesus Christ among the human family.

...We need more of the distinctive, influential voices and faith of women. We need you to learn the doctrine and to understand what we believe so that you can bear your testimonies about the truth of all things" - Elder M. Russell Ballard - Men and Women in the Work of the Lord

Things as They Really Are

-Alicia

Outside Ourselves

In the first part of the Book of Mormon we meet Nephi and his family.  We witness them go through some pretty dramatic changes under some rather intense circumstances.  Tensions are high, moral is low, and at one time or another someone in the family is found complaining or murmuring.

Now, when I imagine myself in the kinds of situations Nephi had to struggle through, I can see how easily it would have been to rattle off in frustration or shake my fist at heaven.  Thankfully, my life has no where near the complications he faced and by comparison, things for me are quite cushy. Even still, I sometimes lose sight of the good things around me and the blessings I have.

Because of what I've been reading in my personal scripture study, I've been thinking more about this human nature default we have to complain or become self-centered. It's also on my mind because in my writing class I'm in the middle of a rhetorical analysis on a commencement speech that focuses on this same topic.

I remember hearing something about this speech last year in my Anthropology class and was fascinated with it then.

The speaker, David Wallace, describes a type of freedom that comes from choosing to be aware of our surroundings, to step outside of our "tiny skull-sized kingdom" and assume the best in others, and realize that everything doesn't revolve around us. He refers to the old cliche', "The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master".

The monologues we choose to entertain inside our head each day will either corner us with thick prison walls of isolation, bitterness, and depression or free our souls from the dark cells of self into a beautiful world of conciseness: a deliberate awareness of others. As we choose to entertain thoughts that inspire compassion, understanding, and love we can make almost every situation bearable and even sacred.

I'd recommend listening to the full 20min speech here. But if you want a short summarized version, there's also this.  I think it's brilliant!!

What will we choose today?
-Alicia

Dear Alexa - August 27th, 2016

Dear Alexa,

Names are always interesting to me.  I love to look up names and search for their origin or meaning.  To me, it can be a source of direction in life.

Alexa is a female form of Alexander, and is sometimes also a short form of Alexandra, both of which come from the Greek, Alexandros. It can be broken down into alexo meaning "to defend" and ander, meaning "man"' making both Alexa and Alexander mean defender of man.

Today as you enter the waters of Baptism you are entering a covenant to take upon yourself a new name.  That new name is Jesus Christ.

For "There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ, all you that have entered into the covenant with God that ye should be obedient unto the end of your lives." (Mosiah 5:8)

And what does Christ's name mean?  

To me it means; Savior, Friend, Redeemer, Helper, Counselor, Light, Truth, Love, Kindness, Compassion, Virtue, Purity, Integrity, Honor, Holiness, Complete and Utter Selflessness, Hope, Grace, Joy, Healer, Forgiveness, The Way Through, The Way Back, The Way Home

Alexa, all your life, since you were very little, you have desired with your whole heart for pure and honest truth, to surround yourself with purity, goodness, and virtue.  Do you remember a couple years ago the summer before school started we had that discussion about the friends we choose and how you ached so much and longed to find friends who you could share these deep desires with, friends you could have spiritual discussions with, and talk about the fuller and richer meaning of life?  Do you remember how you prayed with all your heart for this?  Do you remember the Priesthood Blessing Joseph gave you before that school year?  And do you remember how things unfolded and the new people that miraculously came into your life?  These were the friends and the people you and I and grandma and grandpa had been praying for.  The way your life aligned with these new friends was not a coincidence.  Through this experience, you witnessed a very real and personal Father in Heaven who answered your deep and heart-felt prayer.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other.”

And just as much as these friends were an answer to your prayers.  I am confident that you were an answer to theirs.  

Do you remember when you were nervous to take seminary because you were afraid you didn't have enough gospel knowledge or that because you weren't a member, you were afraid you might embarrass yourself or stand out too much? 

 Do you remember what I said?  

I said, "Alexa, you have no idea how much those other students in Seminary will need you.  You WILL stand out, of that I'm sure!  You will stand out because you will be the girl who goes to Seminary without having to be told to, you'll go because you WANT to, because you CHOOSE to... even when you face strong opposition and opinions from others that tell you going to church and seminary is nonsense, that it's foolish, and that you could occupy yourself with better things. Your friends in Seminary will need you not because you are a gospel scholar or have all the answers but because you will be an example to them of immense courage and powerful faith.  You will be a bright light and a beautiful example to them."

Alexa, you have been living with the name of Christ on your heart all of your life, even when you didn't realize it.  But now this sacred ordinance is eternally binding and you are proving to God through covenant and Priesthood authority, which will make His name much powerful in your life.  

Before I close my talk, I want to share one more thought about your name.  Your middle name, "Lee" means something very significant, it means "Shelter"  Why would this be important? Well if "Alexo" or "Alexa" means "Defender" then "Alexa Lee" means  "Defender of the Shelter" I'll explain why that's significant:

The Prophet, Isaiah, speaks of a shelter in reference to the House of the Lord, to the Temple, "And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert (or shelter) from storm and from rain." - Isaiah 4:6

Baptism is the gate that leads you to that beautiful home away from Home (spelled with a capital H).  There are many in the world who mock the work that goes on in the temple, many who do not understand the sacredness and beauty of how and why we do what we do there. I suppose  someone who has never witnessed a graduation ceremony with processions, robes,caps, and gowns, (you know... ceremonial things we don't see every day) they might find it somewhat strange... 

but we are so used to graduation ceremonies in our culture that we don't even bat an eyelash at them.  The robe, cap, and gown are all symbols of victory and honor.  It's a beautiful thing.  

To be honest, I didn't understand the temple when I first went through but I have gone hundreds of times since and I can stand here and say with all my heart that I love temple. the ordinances, the ceremonies performed, the covenants, the promises pronounced on my head, I love it all!! The temple is my refuge, my safe place, my "shelter" from the storm.

So when you see or hear your name "Alexa Lee"  I want you to think of it as "Defender of the Shelter" or "Defender of the Temple."  You will have plenty of voices and forces that would oppose you and the Temple, many who don't understand that would keep you from this most beautiful place.  But do not let them.  It will never be popular. But it's not about popularity, it's about PURPOSE.   Be strong Alexa Lee, and always defend it.  Defend it by the way you live, by the words you speak, by the example you set, and the choices you make. Renew your covenants you make today each Sunday with the Sacrament.  

Someday, when you build your family, you will strive to make a sacred place within the walls of your own home, your place of shelter.  You will be key in setting the tone of the Spirituality level for your children.  A loving family unit centered on gospel principles is a very real shelter in any community, any place that it is established in the world. Let Alexa Lee also mean "Defender of the Family".

Be the light you have always been but now go forward shining even brighter, more boldly and more confidently, because heaven and earth know and it is recorded in the eternities that you are committed through covenant and endowed with Priesthood power.

Make diligent scripture study, sincere heart-felt prayer, and journal writing  part of your every day life and you will never have to walk in darkness.

I love you Alexa.  I love this gospel.  What you are doing is right.  I know it is true forever and always!

Bless you for your courage, for your faith, we are all cheering you on here today and so are thousands upon thousands of unseen angels.

"Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."- 2 Nephi 31:20

Love,

Alicia

In the Lord's Timing

We've been seriously looking at at a home to buy.  And we had one that we made an offer on but not an official offer.  We just texted the seller the other night and asked if he would consider our price and he agreed.  He sent us the paperwork for the official offer tonight with a promise that we would love the home and that he's excited to have us move there.

But we couldn't sign it.

This morning and all day we have felt frustration and confusion about buying this home even though it seems to fit just fine for what we need.  We could even move into it in a couple of weeks if we wanted.  Everything is ready... but something isn't settling with us.  We keep feeling like we need to wait. It's been hard because we don't want to look back with regret and realize we passed up a great home.  It has also been hard to discern between "a stupor of thought" or just our own desires to stall and hang on to what we have here.

Last week, when we were considering a different home and things fell through, Joseph picked up the Ensign wondering what direction it might have for us.  He came across an article entitled, "According to the Will and Timing of the Lord"  by, Elder Bednar.  It was so applicable for our situation!  This principle has returned to both our minds several times over this process,  "It's not ready yet.  Not yet."  The question is: Do we have the courage to trust this?  Do we trust that there is something better out there?

We can look more.  We can take our time.  The Lord softened our Landlady's heart to allow us month-to-month.  Maybe it's meant for us to take advantage of that?

We knelt and prayed tonight and presented our decision to the Lord to pass on this home and to wait a little longer.  As we did so, we both felt the tension leave us and peace return.  Joseph emailed the seller to inform him that we won't be signing the offer.  This wasn't easy to make but we feel good with it.

Tomorrow we are going to the Temple together to seek more guidance and inspiration.  We pray with all our hearts that we might be in tune enough to recognize where exactly we need to be.

"Strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives—

even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted." 

- Elder David A. Bednar

-Alicia

"Dear Younger Me" - Way-back Wednesday

Father's Day is around the corner and I feel as if I haven't really painted my dad in the best light when I've written about him. (I have mentioned that he's not the same person I knew as a child. And that's probably the most credit I've really given him.)  When I lived with my parents, dad was an emotional mess... and it showed in his violent abusive temper. As a kid, I was terrified of him.  He was a ticking time-bomb and you never knew when he was going to blow!  I remember changing the words to the primary song, "When Daddy Comes Home" to sing, "I'm so mad when daddy comes home, mad as I can be.... Put my hands around his neck and squeeze it tight like this.  Smack his cheeks and give him what?  A great big kick." I can't remember if I sang it out-loud like that but it was definitely in my head.

Dad began to seek help from the bishop when I was in highschool.  It didn't start off well and I remember being so embarrassed when I heard from my mom that in dad's initial interview, he left the bishop's office rather livid, swearing and slamming the door on his ecclesiastical leader. 

I never saw my dad cry until the year he attempted suicide three times.  Late one night when everyone had gone to bed, I lay there sleeping when I was awakened by a strange sound.  I listened closely.  I could hear someone weeping from the family room down the hall.  I climbed out of bed, silently peeked around the corner, and saw my dad kneeling in his bathrobe, praying out-loud and crying uncontrollably with deep and heavy sobs.  It surprised me and something within my heart changed at that moment.  The anger and resentment I felt for him was replaced by compassion and empathy.  I knew I had to forgive him because he so desperately wanted to change.  He hated himself for all he had done.

As I began to study the scriptures and become more involved in seminary, forgiving him became much easier.  At that time in my life, I also learned some things about my dad's childhood that helped me understand his explosive behavior.  And just recently, I've gained more perspective from reading "The Body Keeps the Score".  I guess I never realized that he was a serious trauma victim!

My dad was the oldest of ten children.  (It was a "your's-mine-and-our's" situation.)  Even though he had nine younger siblings, his parents called him "Little Lee" to differentiate between him and his father (who he was named after).  My dad had a lot of energy as a kid.  (I don't know what normal boy doesn't.) But back then, his parents didn't understand it was normal and struggled desperately for ways to deal with it.  They took him to a family therapist who poorly advised them,  "Whenever 'little Lee' gets out of hand,  tie him in a straight jacket away from the others in the basement until he 'calms' down."  

That's how they dealt with it.  Can you imagine??!

This was only the beginning of his trauma.

When he was nine, his mother passed away from breast cancer and two years later he lost his younger sister to Leukemia.  His step-mother was young (almost 17 years younger than his father).  She was terribly jealous of my dad's mom and would never let anyone grieve her loss.  

As a teenager, my dad remembered one morning laying in bed and being awakened by a sharp stinging pain in his shoulder.  He opened his eyes to see his step-mother standing over him glaring angrily.  Dazed and confused, he tried to sooth the pain by rubbing his arm.  He was bleeding and still in shock from such a rude awakening when he glanced down at the side of his bed and saw the shattered framed picture of his real mom on the floor.  He looked back up to hear his step-mother rebuking him threateningly, "I don't ever want to see this picture hanging in your room again!!"  (This is just one example of the abuse he faced but there were other moments like it.)

Despite all his trauma growing up, he served a church mission and when it was completed, he pursued a degree in elementary education and psychology.  He says that living away from home in a dorm was the most free he had ever felt in his life. (I don't blame him.) 

At the University, he made a lot of friends and was in a singing group.  I always loved the fact that my dad liked to sing.  He made a great baritone.  I think music was healing for him.  He loved to play the piano and the guitar.  His favorite artists were Anne Murray, Cat Stevens, and Simon & Garfunkel.  (I played all my dad's records and learned to love that genre.  It was healing for me too.)  We were in a choir together when I graduated from highschool. I'll never forget singing Handel's Messiah with him and the Oratorio Society of Utah at SLC's Tabernacle.  

See, life wasn't all bad... I have other good memories of my father too:  Dad loved camping and every summer we would visit a National Park as a family.  He took tons of pictures everywhere we went. (I appreciate that so much more now than I did then.) He liked word games such as Boggle or Scrabble and strategy games like Chess (at least those are the ones I remember playing with him).  Dad had a very dry sense of humor (he had a pun for everything) and any time he sneezed he tried to make it sound as goofy as possible.  I got really good at giving courtesy laughs. Dad loved books, especially children's books... he had tons on hand because he was a school teacher. He loved C.S. Lewis and from him I learned about The Chronicles of Narnia. 

These were all very good things in my life.

It has been an interesting journey over the past 20 or so years for me to come to a place of understanding about my dad, to see that his outbursts weren't my fault (and in some ways they weren't even his fault).  He had never been taught how to deal with his emotions in a healthy way.  Even still, he admitted to his wrongs, he experienced a mighty change of heart, and repented, fully repented.  I'm proud of him for it.  He has hope in and through the Savior and His wonderful, atoning sacrifice.  Today, we enjoy sharing our faith and testimony with each other over the phone or in person. I love my dad!!

I heard this song "Dear Younger Me" the other day on the radio and thought of the scared child I was growing up and how often I'd blame myself for my "punishments".  I thought of how many times I wished I hadn't been born into the family I was given.  But today... the older me would say to the younger me, "Alicia, this is the perfect family for you.  It is in this home you will learn to have compassion, you will learn to forgive, you will learn to love those who do not love themselves, you will witness great miracles, you will witness hearts change, and you will come to know the Savior in a very deep and personal way."

Compared to my dad's childhood, my life was quite easy.  I can see where he did try to give something better than what he had.  I wonder too (with all that my dad went through and with the redemption he witnessed) if he would write this same letter to himself?

-Alicia

  

"Dear Younger Me" 
by, Mercy Me

Dear younger me
Where do I start
If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far
Then you could be
One step ahead
Of all the painful memories still running thru my head
I wonder how much different things would be
Dear younger me, dear younger me

Dear younger me
I cannot decide
Do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life
Or do I go deep
And try to change
The choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me
Even though I love this crazy life
Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride
Dear younger me, dear younger me

If I knew then what I know now
Condemnation would’ve had no power
My joy my pain would’ve never been my worth
If I knew then what I know now
Would’ve not been hard to figure out
What I would’ve changed if I had heard

Dear younger me
It’s not your fault
You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross
Dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

Every mountain every valley
Thru each heartache you will see
Every moment brings you closer
To who you were meant to be
Dear younger me, dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

The Voice of the Spirit

Yesterday, I spent quite a bit of time preparing for a lesson I'm giving Sunday.  In my studies, I kept falling back on this incredibly wonderful devotional given in 1993 at a BYU Devotional by President James E. Faust. It's far too long for me to share the entire thing in class so I've cut the audio into 18 small bites and stitched them back together to give a four-and-a-half minute summary.  I highly recommend making some time to go and listen to the full speech. It's excellent! 

The War From Within

Of all the enemies the Nephites fought as they strove to protect their people and land, there is one enemy that proved to be the most tremendous threat of all.... themselves.  The greatest damage to the Nephite community was not the result of physical battles fought outside their fortresses with clashing swords.  No, it was much more internal, the problem was within their own government and in their own church.

"There began to be serious contention concerning who should have the judgment-seat... because of so much contention and so much difficulty in the government, that they had not kept sufficient guards in the land" - Helaman 1:2 & 18  

"a little pride..in the church, which did cause some little dissensions" turned into "much contention and many dissensions."  This "pride which began to enter into the church - not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God" and resulted in "persecution of their brethren". - Helaman 3:1,3,33,34

The most disheartening of the two is what happened within their own church.  Helaman 4:11 says, "This great loss of the Nephites, and the great slaughter which was among them, would not have happened had it not been for their wickedness and their abomination which was among them; yea and it was among those also who professed to belong to the church of God."  And in the next two verses, it says that because of their pride, they "withheld" giving or sharing, they made a "mock of that which was sacred, denied the spirit of prophecy and revelation," which led to all kinds of other sins.  "And because of this their great wickedness, and their boasting in their own strength, they were left in their own strength."

In my studies yesterday, I found some commentary that gave greater insight into how people within the church could fall so far.

"This attitude of the people is perhaps the most frightening aspect of this terrifying book of Helaman. We read of a people who were so caught up in the vain things of the world that they were blind and mostly unaffected by Nephi’s great call to repentance. It was not that the people did not have religion; it was that their religion was one of the facades of their respectable lifestyle. The deceit did not fool the prophets; they warned them of their ways. Nephi called down a great famine, while Samuel prophesied great signs and could not be killed. Both preached plainly with the power of God and with courage. Both were mostly rejected because the people hardened their hearts, preferring to believe instead the philosophies and excuses of men (Hel 16:15-23). The outcome of this blindness is well known to readers of the Book of Mormon. The Nephites continued in the same pattern of wickedness in spite of receiving great signs and having momentary periods of righteousness until all but the more righteous were destroyed at the Savior’s coming (3 Nephi 9:12-13)."- The Book of Mormon: Helaman Through 3 Nephi 8, According To Thy Word, ed. Monte S. Nyman & Charles D. Tate, Jr. Provo: Religious Studies Center, BYU, 1992(emphasis added)

The members of the church who rejected the prophets and refused to repent while continuing to preach from their own pulpits, basically set-up themselves in place of the "set-apart".  The word "repentance" haunted them because it flew in their face, broke the facade of their "respectable lifestyle" and revealed it for the self-centered pompish parade of vanity that it really was.

It's an interesting observation Elder W. Grant Bangerter observed, "I never found it necessary to break my standards, to remove my garments, or to apologize for being a Latter-day Saint... I can honestly say that no nonmember of the Church has ever tried to induce me to discard my standards. The only people I remember trying to coerce me to abandon my principles or who ridiculed me for my standards have been non-practicing members of the Church." - Elder W. Grant Bangerter (July 1982 - New Era)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland asked, "When gospel principles get unpopular or unprofitable or very difficult to live, will we stand by them 'for the duration'? That is the question our experiences in Latter-day Saint life seem most determined to answer. What do we really believe, and how true to that are we really willing to live?" 

In a world like today, most likely the hardest standards of God to live by are; humility, gentleness, and meekness.  Yet, these are the qualities that are the most rewarding!

 In the scriptures, those with solid testimony did not let pride, hatred, or anger claim a stake in their hearts.  Rather, they "did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."- Helaman 3:35

I submit that the fastest way to "yield our hearts unto God" is through immediate repentance. The moment we recognize our own fault in a situation to say, "I'm sorry", to truly own that apology and the consequence that may follow instead of endeavoring to excuse ourselves and sweep it under the rug.

We also "yield our hearts unto God" by living by His way even if it means losing face or popularity, to not be fence-sitters but rather "Choose... this day whom we will serve" -Joshua 24:15

What are some other ways I can "yield my heart unto God" in these battles "from within"?

-Alicia

What is my intent?

Two of my favorite quotes by Martin Luther King are these:

 "Let no man pull you low enough to hate him."

and

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. 

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

One of my assignments these past two days has been to read Martin Luther King's Letter from Birmingham Jail.  He was imprisoned on Good Friday, April 12, 1963.  The letter was written over the next four days and speaks volumes about this incredible man's character in the face of so much persecution and opposition.  I'm deeply impressed to see how civilly and charitably he chose his words to his oppressors.  This was a man who truly understood christian courage.  In my mind, he ranks among the "noble and great ones".

Because my scripture studies this past week focused on the final days of Christ's life and the things He taught before He was crucified, it has caused me to pay particular attention to what was happening in 1963.

The parallel is this:  The segregation laws in Birmingham were unjust for they claimed to be what was best for the community as a whole "to keep the peace" but were really enforced to justify sin.  In his letter Martin Luther King makes the distinction, "How does one determine whether a law is just or unjust? A just law is a man made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law." Wasn't that why the Sadducees and Pharisees hated Christ?  The Savior's teachings were an open threat to their immoral way of life and exposed their hypocritical laws.  These were men who liked to boast of their great knowledge of scripture, they stood on the street corners teaching in a form of righteousness to "appear holy" with the intent to obtain monetary, religious, or social acceptance yet inside, they were "full of dead men's bones".

Martin Luther King wrote, "I have tried to make clear that it is wrong to use immoral means to attain moral ends.  But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or perhaps even more so to use moral means [obedience to law] to preserve immoral ends... As T.S. Eliot has said: 'The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed for the wrong reason.'"

This is a penetrating statement, a compelling thought, that causes me to evaluate my own deeds.  I have to ask as myself in every action or re-action, "What is my intent?"  One of the steps in Dr. King's campaign was "self-purification."  This is the same call our Savior gives us, to first "cleanse the inner vessel."

There is so much to think about.  All that I give, all that I share, all that I say, and all that I do will be fruitless, meaningless, and hollow if my intentions are not in the right place and if I don't maintain a spirit of love for my enemies.

I'm grateful for inspired writings of truth wherever they are found, writings that cause me to reflect, to have a change of perspective, and invite me to evaluate my own choices... for I have so much to learn. :)

-Alicia

Hosanna!

This coming Sunday we will have the opportunity to participate in the dedication of the Provo City Center Temple.  How fitting that this sacred and glorious dedication has been appointed to be on Palm Sunday.  For FHE last night, we discussed the symbolism of Christ's entry into the ancient city and how He is entering our city today.

John 12:12-19, Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:28-44 , Zechariah 9:9 

• The Palm Branch = symbol of victory, triumph, peace and eternal life
• Riding on a donkey = a symbol of peace and meekness.  The horse was a symbol of war but donkeys were often used in peace treaties. 
• He came from the east and up into Jerusalem = The names of the cities listed in the Gospels  are of such an order to show this direction.  He also ascended upward into the city since Jerusalem is on a hill.  (The rising sun also comes from the east.)
• Hosanna - is a Greek form of the Hebrew expression for "Save us now," or "Save, we pray."... Note the rendering of the :Hosanna Shout: in the restored Church of Christ in the current dispensation on occasions of particular rejoicing before the Lord. (p. 523 Jesus the Christ)
• The first thing Christ did after entering the city was cleanse the Temple.

"The people were jubilant over the spectacle of Jesus riding toward the holy city... For the time being He was their king, and they His adoring subjects.  The voices of the mulititude sounded in reverberating harmony: ;Blessed be the King that cometh in the name of the Lord: peace in heaven, and glory in the hightest'; and again: 'Hosanna to the son of David: blessed is He that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.'" - James E. Talmage (Jesus the Christ p. 514)

We too feel blessed and are thrilled with the opportunity to rejoice and shout "Hosanna!" at this Temple dedication.  To offer Him this Holy House and welcome Him to our city.

We really had a great time with the kids last night in our discussion but it has caused me some deeper reflection - so I want to take a little time to go slightly further into this story. You see, with the temple that Christ entered into in Jerusalem, it was a different event than ours here in Provo:

"Amidst all this jubilation, Jesus was sad as He came in sight of the great city wherin stood the House of the Lord;  and He wept, because of the wickedness of His people, and of their refusal to accept Him as the Son of God; moreover He foresaw the awful scenes of destruction before which both city and temple were soon to fall.  In anguish and tears, He thus apostrophized the doomed city: 'If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.' (Luke 19:42)" - James E. Talmage (Jesus the Christ p. 515)

In other words He lamented, "If you had only realized what would bring you peace, real peace... but you've closed your eyes and refuse to see."

How were their eyes closed?
Is there a clue to this answer by the Savior's first choice of action after he dismounts the donkey? What does He do?  He immediately clears out the temple because they had turned it into a "den of thieves." - Luke 19:46  Perhaps He had some interest in real-estate, after-all, they had no right to do whatever they wanted in the Temple.  This was HIS house.  He was the owner, the possessor of this place.

Speaking of houses...  what about the one we dwell in as a family.... Who is the rightful owner of our home?  Is our home just a residence for ourselves or have we dedicated it to the Lord?  What do we invite in on a daily basis and would He approve?  How do we maintain the kind of atmosphere where His Spirit may dwell?

And what about our mortal tabernacle?  Who possesses it?
Each day the Lord leaves it up to us to choose, but we must always remember Who bought us.

"The purchase price for our fullness of joy--body and spirit eternally united--is the pure and innocent blood of the Savior of this world. We cannot then say in ignorance or defiance, 'Well, it's my life,' or worse yet, 'It's my body.' It is not. 'Ye are not your own,' Paul said. 'Ye are bought with a price.'" - Jeffrey R. Holland 

What kinds of things turn my own home "into a den of thieves"?

The way to peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come is to let the rightful Owner in our hearts, let Him in our home, and into our life!  Let Him claim His rightful place and take ownership.... not partial... this isn't fractional real-estate.... but full and complete ownership.
How do I let Him in?
What does that look like in my daily choices?
What does that look like for me as a mother, a wife, a sister, and a neighbor?

Just some thoughts I've been having....
-Alicia

Christ in Me

by, Jeremy Camp

"In this obsession with the things this world says make us happy

Can't see the slaves we are in all the searching all the grasping

Like we deserve much more than all these blessing we're holding

So now I'm running free into an ocean of mercy unending

So come and empty me 

So that it's you I breathe

I want my life to be 

Only Christ in me 

So I will fix my eyes

'Cause you're my source of life 

I need the world to see

That it's Christ in me"

Love Isn't Blind

It seems to me that the trends of the world often follow the pattern of what I call "shallow love."  So many relationships leave no room for imperfection in one another and therefore leave no room for growth.  When the going gets tough or if anything dissatisfies... they abandon everything.

C.S. Lewis observed this about Gods love and maybe we can apply something of this pattern in our own lives with everyone we come in contact with:

"To see in some measure, like God.  His love and His knowledge are not distinct from one another, nor from Him.  We could almost say He sees because He loves, and therefore loves although He sees." 

 "He loves although He sees."  Think about it for a moment! "He loves although He sees."  I believe that is what endears us to the Savior's heart.  That is the quality that makes us comfortable to fall before Him as our imperfect selves.  There is no piece of us that is hidden, He sees the good, the bad, and the ugly in our souls... and yet He loves us still.  

In this Shakespeare Sonnet, observe how he describes love.  It is unchanging even when it finds reason to change and sees the infinite worth even when the person may not "measure up" to it. 

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

 If this be error and upon me proved,

 I never writ, nor no man ever loved. 

I really like where Shakespeare describes that true love "bears it out even to the edge of doom."  It reminds me of the verse I'm pondering this week on charity.  

After the Apostle Paul describes this wonderful virtue he warns us that we don't see the full picture and even don't understand our own hearts but the Lord does and eventually we will see clearly through Him.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known” (1 Cor. 13:12).

Pure and Christlike love always evokes and promotes feelings of unity, appreciation, and gentleness...  never discord, dissension, or hostility.  We are covenant people who have taken upon us the name of Christ and our behavior should reflect that same kind of perfect charity... to "love although [we] see."

Finally, I'll close this post with some thoughts from President Eyring in 1998

The sacramental prayer can remind us every week of how the gift of unity will come through obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When we keep our covenants to take His name upon us, to remember Him always, and to keep all His commandments, we will receive the companionship of His Spirit. That will soften our hearts and unite us. But there are two warnings which must come with that promise.

First, the Holy Ghost remains with us only if we stay clean and free from the love of the things of the world. A choice to be unclean will repel the Holy Ghost. The Spirit only dwells with those who choose the Lord over the world. “Be ye clean” (3 Ne. 20:41; D&C 38:42) and love God with all your “heart, … might, mind, and strength” (D&C 59:5) are not suggestions but commandments. And they are necessary to the companionship of the Spirit, without which we cannot be one.

The other warning is to beware of pride. A unity which comes to a family or to a people softened by the Spirit will bring great power. With that power will come recognition from the world. Whether that recognition brings praise or envy, it could lead us to pride. That would offend the Spirit. There is a protection against pride, that sure source of disunity. It is to see the bounties which God pours upon us not only as a mark of His favor but an opportunity to join with those around us in greater service. A man and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them. In the same way, we can unite with those who do not accept our doctrine but share our desire to bless the children of our Heavenly Father.


We can become peacemakers, worthy to be called blessed and the children of God (see Matt. 5:9).

...........
- It's a new day. Let's seek for and choose opportunities to "see through the glass" with clarity, with the Spirit, with the eyes of Christ.

-Alicia

The Rule of Law

I've been fascinated with the reading assignments in my American Heritage class.  Some of my recent ones have been: John Winthrop's - A Model of Christian Charity, James Harrington's The Commonwealth of Oceana, and my personal favorite, John Locke's - Second Treatise of Government. This might be boring to some but it's very interesting to me because these concepts and principles were highly studied, closely examined, and adopted by the Founding Fathers of this great nation.  They were principles designed to organize a government that would protect and uphold the natural rights and freedom of the people.

Maybe it’s because I’m paying my own way to go to school or maybe it’s because I’m a mom approaching my 40’s that causes me to feel more hungry for knowledge than ever before… I don’t know but whatever it is, this education experience is very precious and extremely valuable to me.  I guess the older I get in life, the more I realize how little time I have and how much more there is to learn.

As I’ve been studying about these various systems of government, I can’t help but ask myself; What kind of government have I been running in my home? How do I protect the freedom of my children? Do they understand our family laws and the purpose behind them? Do they have a say in the way these laws are created and enforced?

John Locke teaches that government is not about ruling the people but about protecting them.  Every person has inalienable or a natural right to life, liberty, and property.

"The power, then, that parents have over their children, arises from that duty which is incumbent on them, to take care of their off-spring, during the imperfect state of childhood.  To inform the mind, and govern the actions of their yet ignorant [youth], till reason shall take its place." - John Locke (Second Treatise of Government)

How do we inform the minds of our children or govern their actions while they are young?

I believe they need clear vision... for the scriptures say, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” - Proverbs 29:18

About five or so years ago, my husband and I attempted to increase the vision of our children by establishing a mission statement. We recite it once a week in our home and it’s been very helpful...  But after studying Locke and his view of a free government, I see more and more the need for written and enforced law agreed upon by family consent. I interpret this to look like some sort of family council.  I must admit that this is something my husband and I have only talked about but have never officially established.  

"The liberty of man in society, is to be under no other legislative power, but that established, BY CONSENT, in the commonwealth" - John Locke (Second Treatise of Government)

I searched the definition of Commonwealth and discovered:

Common = Shared

Weal = prosperous and happiness (1828 Dictionary)

God has written law for His children in order that we might find happiness... We call it the scriptures and the words of the living prophets.  We rely upon this law to give us direction and we consent to follow through covenants.  But some laws aren’t so easily accepted...

President Boyd K. Packer taught:

" Parents know, and one day you will know, that there are times when parents and we who lead the Church must extend tough love when failing to teach and to warn and to discipline is to destroy… In spite of criticism or opposition, we must teach and we must warn." - Boyd K. Packer (Oct. 2000)

As parents, we have a serious responsibility to teach and warn.  In our families, I personally believe that consent to such warnings or law comes more readily when we have a clear understanding and vision of their purpose.  If we are to “inform the minds” of our children we must also adequately help them see the dangers and pitfalls of this world and establish boundaries that protect their freedom.

Our children must know the great purpose of "law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom.... where there is no law there is no freedom... freedom is not, as we are told, a liberty for every man to do what he lists."- John Locke (Second Treatise of Government)

A nation without law is anarchy not freedom… So also, a family that has no law, has no freedom.

Our homes must be established and founded.  Rules must be clear.  I don't think gathering a family to counsel together has to be long or drawn out, complicated or fancy.

"The best leaders are not those who work themselves to death trying to do everything single-handedly; the best leaders are those who follow God’s plan and counsel with their councils.

“Come now,” said the Lord in an earlier dispensation through the prophet Isaiah, “and let us reason together” (Isa. 1:18). And in this dispensation, He repeated that admonition: “Let us reason together, that ye may understand” (D&C 50:10).

Let us remember that the basic council of the Church is the family council…  I testify that we can bring the full force of God’s revealed plan for gospel governance into our ministries as we counsel together." - Elder M. Russell Ballard - Counseling With Our Councils - 1994

With these things in mind, I'm excited that my husband and I are going to be starting our own family government, where we can “open the floor” for each child to share their issues, for us to teach and inform them, warn and guide them, but also listen and establish written laws together, to allow them voice, to give clear vision, and where we all can consent and maximize on our freedom.  We'll be learning as we go... I'll keep you posted.  :)

-Alicia