A Compass to Point the Way

I have some personal decision-making questions I'm taking with me to Conference today and tomorrow. If you have questions regarding the direction of your life too, I encourage you to listen in wherever you are. God is good and He answers everyone who sincerely desires His guidance. I know this!

I read the following scripture in my studies this morning, I think it fits perfectly for the weekend. :)

-- "I took the compass, and it did work whither I desired it. And it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord; and after I had prayed the winds did cease, and the storm did cease, and there was a great calm." (1 Nephi 18:21) 

 Listen to the live broadcast.

-Alicia

Give Me a Revelation

We looked for some homes in Springville the other day.  As my husband and I rode out there we both felt, "This is too far."  We took the tour quickly because it seemed so pointless after getting the impression we did.

I spoke with my friend, Jed, yesterday who told me the story of how he and his wife found their first home in our neighborhood.  They prayed about where to move not ever living in Provo before and practically mapped out our current ward boundaries.  They drove around looking for a house up for sale and found nothing.  Then a few days later, Jed had the impression to drive down that same street again and a guy was just walking out with a "For Sale by Owner" sign.  He knew instantly that was where they were to move.
What I wouldn't give to have that kind of clear revelation!
Just put the sign up for us, Lord, right as I'm driving by!

I knelt in earnest prayer this morning begging for my Father in Heaven to give us some direction.  I felt the impression come to me.  "I already have.  You knew this was where you were supposed to be eight years ago, either in the 11th ward or the 3rd ward, it didn't really matter... this was right where you were supposed to be."
I prayed again, "Yes, but is it where we are meant to stay?  Because I'm having a hard time determining Thy will from my own desires.  I cannot seem to pull myself away from this place.  Every fiber of my being wants to stay here but at the same time, I don't want to resist direction otherwise."

Perhaps part of the pull that draws me in are the unanswered questions to all of my "coincidental" experiences here... and that maybe... somehow by sticking around a little longer, I'll discover more pieces to the puzzle.  I've shared so much of my story but have hardly seen the other half and I've just got to know more!  Nevertheless, not my will but "as thou wilt".

I'm praying for my heart to be open to other places.  Tonight, we will go and look at a home in the far south-west part of Provo.  Dear Father, I pray.  Help us to know, please show us.  Is my heart blocking the way or do I follow it?  Because if I follow my heart, it's already here!

-Alicia

Thy Will Be Done

Call it what it is...

We have an amazing Father in Heaven and I can't explain how but I know He is real, that He is the Father of each of us, that He hears, He sees, He understands, and He knows all.

Personally, I've experienced answers to prayers more numerous these past couple of years than I can begin to describe; situations, parallels, and connections that are far too many to be coincidental. And even though I may not see the bigger picture and have a full vision of its purpose at this moment in my life, it has strengthened my faith and I am grateful.

I know we can receive Divine assistance and heavenly help.  I know we are not alone even when we feel as if there isn't a single soul who understands.  We can have mysteries unfolded.  Answers will come line upon line... and I'm slowly learning patience, the kind of patience that is okay with not knowing "why" until my life is over.  Every heartache, every struggle only draws me to my knees in deeper, more soulful prayer.

To some who know "my story," it might seem crazy or impossible - but the more that has been revealed... I'm compelled to call it what it really is: A miracle!

Yeah, I'm a believer!
-Alicia

Storybook - Ponderize Week 35

"Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out not knowing whither he went." - Hebrews 11:8

It can be so hard to step out and move forward "not knowing" ...
and yet, I feel like it's the story of my life!

I take comfort in the scriptures though. Just this morning I read Moroni 7 and Hebrews 11. Both speak of miracles that are brought about by faith.  In Paul's letter to the Hebrews, he lists several prophets who were given great promises.  They lived faithful and true to every commandment of the Lord believing that those promises would one day be fulfilled.  Yet, verse 13 of Hebrew's says that, "these all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them..." And then verse 29 states again, "these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise."

"In a sense all of us are in the middle of our own novels, our own life stories. Sometimes our stories feel very intense, and we would like to read ahead to know our own end, to make sure that everything is going to turn out all right. While we don’t know the particular details of our life’s experiences, fortunately we do know something about our futures, if we live worthily.

We are given this insight in Doctrine and Covenants 90:24 [D&C 90:24]: 'Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly.'... Sometimes we see immediate fulfillment of the promise. Other times we plead for years before we see the desired promises fulfilled. Sometimes, as with faithful Abraham, we may embrace the promises but die “in faith, not having received the promises” (Heb. 11:13) while on earth. While it may be true in some instances that our promised blessings will be fulfilled only in the eternities, it is also true that as we search, pray, and believe, we will often recognize things working together for our good in this life.... " - Susan W. Tanner

Sometimes, I desperately want to read ahead in my own story to see if the promises that have been revealed to me will ever occur on this earth or if they are only to be given somehow in heaven. I understand that it is better for me not to know.  I get that if it were shown to me, I would no longer have the struggles that are necessary to deepen and strengthen my faith. Just gotta keep moving one step in front of the other "not knowing" the details of my own story but knowing full well and trusting that God does... and I'd say He's a pretty dang good author.

-Alicia

"They Shall Be Granted" - Ponderize- Week 34

Searching for a scripture to ponder through the week, I found several... but this is the one my heart is really gravitating to at this time.

"My friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;  Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament - the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.  Therefore, He giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory saith the Lord." - D&C 98:1-3

I looked back through old posts and realized I've shared parts of this scripture a couple of times on my blogs already.  (I had forgotten that.)  I suppose a little repetition doesn't hurt me though.

I can't think of any greater comfort than knowing that my prayers are heard and that every pure and righteous desire will be granted... no matter how much further down the road that may be.  I also appreciate the part about giving thanks all along the way.

-Alicia

"Understand and Prepare" - Ponderize - Week 32

I've had some unbelievable experiences these past two years that are too sacred to share and too hard to explain, so I won't even attempt to.  Everything has felt so condensed, so concentrated, so rapid.... So much has happened in such a short period of time...
I have felt like the "windows of heaven" have been opened as a flood, pulling me in like a riptide that's washing me out to sea...
It has been so overwhelming that I just haven't had "room enough to receive it".

Being overwhelmed like this, from experiencing things of a spiritual nature, so powerfully, so consistently, so frequent, in such a short amount of time, sounds like a pleasant and comfortable thing right?  I mean, saying  you've had the "windows of heaven" opened to you, one would think that all of this has been a joyful experience... it has... but...
Let me tell you, some of it has been excruciatingly painful and terribly, terribly lonely...
The only ones who have known my whole complete story through it all, who know me so well, has been the Lord and my husband.
Yesterday, I was weighed down with this loneliness.  And I wondered if that's what Paul meant by "weight of glory"... to have miraculous things happen and not be able to really share them because of the sacredness of it... or the unbelief of others...
It is very, very heavy.

My husband gave me a beautiful priesthood blessing late last night and then held me tightly in his arms.  I just wept and wept.

This morning in my scripture studies, I was searching for a verse to "ponderize" for the week.  I've just finished reading about the Savior's visit to the Nephites where He pretty much teaches them the same thing He taught the people of Jerusalem in Matthew 5 - 7.  Can you imagine what a spiritual experience that must have been to have Christ, Himself, teach and bless you face to face??  I'm sure it was beautiful, miraculous, powerful, and very, very overwhelming.  Would that have been like "the windows of heaven" being opened without "room enough to receive it"?

I wonder how many people believed them when they went back to tell their friends about their experience... how many thought they were crazy?  Depending on the responses (or lack of response) I imagine those who testified felt joy one moment and extreme pain the next.
But regardless of who believes... you know that there's more... that the story isn't over... there is more yet to be revealed.  You know that someday you'll understand it all.
So you keep moving, you press on in faith, in confidence, and trust that what you've experienced is truly Divine... even if no one believes you... even if people think you're crazy... even if it's a terribly lonely, lonely way to go.
It doesn't matter...  you will be prepared for tomorrow.

"Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask the Father in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again." - 3 Nephi 17:3

-Alicia

"With Utmost Assurance" - Ponderize - Week 31

This is the verse I came to in my studies this morning.  I appreciate the part about being cheerful and having an "utmost assurance" in the Lord.  

 "Cheerfully do all things that lie in [your] power; and then may [you] stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for His arm to be revealed."

- D&C123:17 

 The encouraging word for today on my favorite Christian radio station was...  

"There is no risk of failure with God.  So why would I let worry paralyze me."

- (Psalms 62:2 The Passion Version)

I needed this.
-Alicia

The Voice of the Spirit

Yesterday, I spent quite a bit of time preparing for a lesson I'm giving Sunday.  In my studies, I kept falling back on this incredibly wonderful devotional given in 1993 at a BYU Devotional by President James E. Faust. It's far too long for me to share the entire thing in class so I've cut the audio into 18 small bites and stitched them back together to give a four-and-a-half minute summary.  I highly recommend making some time to go and listen to the full speech. It's excellent! 

"He will direct thee for good" - Ponderize - Week 30

Here's the scripture we decided as a family to ponderize for the week:

"Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that He may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God." - Alma 37:37

Q&A - Ponderize - Week 26

I'm incredibly grateful that I can bring all my questions before the Lord, that He encourages me to do so even if they might seem foolish.  I think the key principles for me to learn are patience and faith... and that all of my life's little mysteries will be revealed in His perfect timing.

 "If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.Thou shalt ask, and it shall be revealed unto you in mine own due time...." - D&C 42:61,62

-Alicia

Answers to Prayers

 President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, discussed how we can recognize the voice of the Lord:
“Answers to prayers come in a quiet way. The scriptures describe that voice of inspiration as a still, small voice. …

“I have come to know that inspiration comes more as a feeling than as a sound. …

“Put difficult questions in the back of your minds and go about your lives. Ponder and pray quietly and persistently about them.

“The answer may not come as a lightning bolt. It may come as a little inspiration here and a little there, ‘line upon line, precept upon precept’ (D&C 98:12).

“Some answers will come from reading the scriptures, some from hearing speakers. And, occasionally, when it is important, some will come by very direct and powerful inspiration. The promptings will be clear and unmistakable” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1979, 28, 30; or Ensign, Nov. 1979, 19–21).

I know this is true.  I'm so thankful for a personal and loving Father in Heaven who guides and directs our lives through prayer and revelation.

-Alicia

Humble, Submissive, and Gentle - Ponderize - Week 17

My nephew, Bryson, is currently serving a mission in Mexico.  In yesterday's letter he bore witness of the validity of personal revelation, of going to the Lord in fervent prayer and then turning to the scriptures for answers.  I greatly appreciated his testimony.  This is the method I have used through my life again and again.  I cannot even begin to number how many times I have had "custom-fit" verses jump off the pages at me.... just too many coincidences to be a coincidence.

My nephew's testimony came at a good time because I've spent a lot of moments reflecting recently on my own personal revelations.  I wonder if any of the men or women in the scriptures ever felt lonely with the answers they received.  

Did Mary ponder in her heart because she knew no one would believe her or maybe because she had a hard time even believing herself?  

How much did Abraham share with Sariah or even Isaac about the revelations he received?  

After Joseph Smith shared his experiences, people said he was crazy.

Were things so unbelievable that they had moments themselves where they too questioned their own sanity?

Joseph Smith learned to trust his initial revelations enough to move ahead even if he wasn't sure exactly what that looked like for him in the future: "to continue as [he] was until further directed. [He] had found the testimony of James to be true—that a man who lacked wisdom might ask of God, and obtain, and not be upbraided." - JSH 1:26

Alma had been given a very specific mission in his life.  He followed that instruction knowing "that the Lord God hath power to do all things which are according to his word."(Alma 7:8)

 Yet Alma was painfully and sorely rejected in ways I cannot imagine.  In fact it was so difficult that he said, "I was about to set my back towards this land forever"  but he didn't give up, why? Because he understood revelation and knew without a doubt it was from God.  He testified, " I have been commanded that I should turn again and prophesy unto this people." - Alma 8:24,25

I like what Joseph said, "to continue as I was until further directed."  

I feel that way sometimes.  

I don't have all the answers.  I only have been given instruction up to this point and it doesn't go any further into the distant steps.  I will trust that it will be unfolded "line upon line,... here a little and there a little"

I share some of the answers I've been given here but ponder most of it in my heart because it is the only safe place to keep them.  I know the Lord searches there. It is between Him and me for now.

My scripture to ponderize for the week is this:

"And now [Alicia] I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of god at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive." - Alma 7:23

-Alicia

"As Often As Thou Inquired" - Ponderize - Week 16

I'm a little late in posting my Ponderize scripture again but trust me, I've been thinking of this one since Sunday.  Sometimes through prayer and fasting, the Lord gives you certain verses that apply so perfectly to your life and mission.  The verses become treasures in your heart and you draw upon them again and again.  The entire section of D&C 6 has become quite meaningful to me for several months now because it came after "much fasting and prayer" at just the right moment in my life.

This whole week I've been thinking of these verses:

"Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit.  If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.... I say unto you , if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.  Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter?  What greater witness can you have than from God?" - D&C 6: 15, 22-23

-Alicia

With Patience, Possess Your Soul

"The Lord seeth fit to chasten His people; yea, He trieth their patience and their faith."

 - Mosiah 23:21

This is where I am in my personal study of the Book of Mormon right now.  My goal is to finish the whole book before the first of June. I'm a little hung up because I feel like I've circled around this verse over and over for the last several days like a hawk anxious to devour that one word I desire so greatly.  I can't really say it has slowed my progress in my scripture study because it's led me to search out more scriptures and words of the prophets that relate to patience.

As a result, this BYU speech from Neal A. Maxwell has been on repeat all week for me.

We learn in Romans 5 that "tribulation worketh patience."
Go look up tribulation in a thesaurus and tell me if that's something you want?
(adversity, grief, heartache, burden, persecution, sorrow, suffering, trial, affliction, and more)
But it says right there in the scriptures that these are the very things that "worketh patience."

These tribulations come into each of our lives in various ways.  We all have them but they take different forms. They break us and bring us to our knees causing us to "seek the face of the Lord".... for it is only in Him we find peace and strength beyond our own.

Let's go back to Romans 5:3,4 and take a closer look:
"we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;and patience, experience; and experience, hope"

I can't help but notice that "work" and "experience" are in the same sentence and when I see that, I envision some sort of Godly resume.  "What is your 'work experience?'  What skills have you acquired through your opportunities to practice?  How much training have you had?"

The answer may go something like this:
"Well, Father, every time I have come against some sort of tribulation, be it grief, heartache, sorrow, burden, persecution, or suffering of any kind... I have sought Thy face through deep and sincere prayer. through fasting, through searching Thy word.  I have learned of the Savior, that He has experienced this exact same thing, that He understands completely, that He is mighty to save and will help me and make me stronger through it all.  I have come to know something of His omniscience. As I look back on all of the other trials of my past, I can see so clearly that He knew what was best and that His timing was perfect, absolutely perfect.  I've had opportunities to 'lose myself' to evaluate my motives and see where I have been selfish and correct that.  Most of all, I have come to feel of Your love, Your grace.  I've witnessed how personal and involved You have always been in my life and it has caused me to want to be more personal and involved with those who I have committed to love.  THIS has been my experience time and time again... and I have hope... I am filled with hope!  Because of these things, my faith has grown, deeper, taller, and stronger... Because of Thee, I can be patient in any circumstance."

In other words, Romans 5:1-6 is a cyclical ascending pattern:
Tribulation >> Seek the Lord in faith >> experience (and everything that entails) >> Greater faith and awareness of His grace >> Hope >> Patience >> Tribulation

" In your patience possess ye your souls." - Luke 21:19

"Those with true hope often see their personal circumstances shaken, like kaleidoscopes, again and again. Yet with the “eye of faith,” they still see divine pattern and purpose (Alma 5:15)." - Neal A. Maxwell - A Perfect Brightness of Hope

I know that God sees the bigger picture.  His plan is perfect and He knows what is best for me at just the right moment, at just the right time in my life.  It's all about the experience.

-Alicia

Reality Check

My husband and I met with our social worker, Mr. Baxter, to turn in all of our adoption papers.  Man, the questions they have you fill out -They want your whole entire life story!  Between me and my husband, we turned in 40 typed pages! The social worker said we filed everything very quickly and that most people don't turn their papers in so fast.  I thought that was funny because later, he conducted a small interview and asked how long our courtship was.
I responded, "We were engaged after 5 weeks from our first date and married 11 weeks after that."
Mr. Baxter tipped his glasses down to raise his eyebrows at me.  Joseph smiled wryly and told the story of our first kiss (which was his first kiss)  "She's always been a fast mover. When she knows something is right, she doesn't hesitate, she moves!"
"Well, I guess that explains why you two are getting everything set in motion with this adoption so fast."
We had a great visit and everything went well.
Near the end of the interview he informed us with what he called "a reality check."
"I must tell you that most young birth mothers are looking for a 'Ken and Barbie' couple, one with a nice big house and preferably no other children.  It may be very difficult for you to find someone who would be willing to give their baby to you... you're an older couple with children of your own already and you live in an apartment."
"I'm not too worried," I said "We have fasted and prayed about this and have received a very clear answer.  I feel confident that the Lord will make it all happen in His way and timing." My husband smiled with agreement.
"Well then, if all goes well, you should be able to get your profile up by January sometime."
"That's what we're hoping."  We shook Mr. Baxter's hand and thanked him as he wished us the best.
He's coming back again on Monday to interview our children and inspect our home.  It's been great motivation for me do some deep cleaning. I feel good about things.  Our apartment may be small and not very stylish but I can say it's clean.

This morning in my scripture studies, I read a verse and thought of how this has all come to be.  I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.  It is nothing short of a miracle.  Something has changed in my husband, I can't describe it.  I never thought I would see him so enthusiastic about this or about life.  The Spirit has rested upon him these past few months in a way that I've never seen before.  He's been happier, more resilient, more faith-filled, and more at peace.  We both know that the Spirit has been guiding us.  We trust this and because we trust the character of our Father in Heaven we know that it will all work out.  This is His will for us.  Here's the scripture I read:

"And [we] do this for a wise purpose;  for thus it whispereth [us], according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in [us].  And now, [we] do not know all things;  but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, He worketh in [us] to do according to His will." - Words of Mormon 1:7

I know it's true.  We may not be the poster couple but it doesn't really matter.  The "reality check" is this is God's work not ours... And when it comes to the things of this world, I honestly believe "sometimes having more is really less." We will be led in the right direction and there is nothing to fear.

-Alicia

Jonah's Grateful Prayer

I just finished reading Jonah chapter 2:  I'm impressed with the prayer Jonah gives while in the belly of a whale.  I like how he acknowledges the countless times God has heard his prayers.  He's in the dark, has no idea what will happen next and promises, "I will look again toward thy holy temple." He says that he will look there because when he was overwhelmed, encompassed about, and feeling dragged down, that was the place where he felt his prayer was heard.  (See Jonah 2)

As I pondered Jonah's grateful prayer while "imprisoned" in the dungeon belly, I thought of a talk by Elder Holland, "Lessons from Liberty Jail."  It is interesting to me how some of our most miserable experiences can become our most sacred and revelatory moments. In our extremities we pray more deeply, seek more earnestly, and reach more sincerely.  Those moments on our knees crying out, we've received answers and promises we can trust completely.  We know with certainty that the Lord has heard our prayers thus it makes the place in which we prayed hallowed and sacred ground.  I love the way Elder Jeffrey R. Holland describes it:

 "In what sense could Liberty Jail be called a 'temple,' and what does such a title tell us about God’s love and teachings, including where and when that love and those teachings are made manifest? In precisely this sense: that you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experiences with the Lord in any situation you are in. Indeed, you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experiences with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life—in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and opposition you have ever faced.

In one way or another, great or small, dramatic or incidental, every one of us is going to spend a little time in Liberty Jail—spiritually speaking. We will face things we do not want to face for reasons that may not be our fault. Indeed, we may face difficult circumstances for reasons that were absolutely right and proper, reasons that came because we were trying to keep the commandments of the Lord. We may face persecution, we may endure heartache and separation from loved ones, we may be hungry and cold and forlorn. Yes, before our lives are over we may all be given a little taste of what the prophets faced often in their lives.

But the lessons of the winter of 1838–39 teach us that every experience can become a redemptive experience if we remain bonded to our Father in Heaven through it. These difficult lessons teach us that man’s extremity is God’s opportunity, and if we will be humble and faithful, if we will be believing and not curse God for our problems, He can turn the unfair and inhumane and debilitating prisons of our lives into temples—or at least into a circumstance that can bring comfort and revelation, divine companionship and peace."

I love that part.... "the divine companionship of peace."  To me, this peace is the soul at rest. It has let go of the need for every answer, it sees purpose in the pain and no longer tries to kick and beat and wish the heartache away.  It hurts... but what can be done about it? It's part of the experience and like a wounded soldier who bravely moves forward one foot in front of the other across the battle lines; he no longer worries about his aching body or whether he'll make it out alive or not, he perfectly trusts that his soul and mission are in the hands of his Creator.  His only concern is to remain valiant to the cause, for the duration of the war... however long that means for him.  If he dies, he dies... if he lives, he lives...  either way, his heart is at peace and he is ready.

"Rest... is the mind at leisure from itself.  It is the perfect poise of the soul; the absolute adjustment of the inward man to the stress of all outward things; the preparedness against every emergency; the stability of assured convictions; the eternal calm of an invulnerable faith; the repose of a heart set deep in God.  It is the mood of the man who says, with Browning, 'God's in His Heaven, all's well with the world.'" - Henry Drummond

-Alicia

Watchmen on the Tower

I saw this coming.  When we made the change-over into 2015, I felt it so clear:  "There will come a threshing within the church this year that will try the faith of the people." And just before October's General Conference, I was discussing with my friend, Carol, "There is so much change in the air.  Can you believe we will be getting three new apostles?  But don't you sense there is more to this?  I feel like there will be policy changes that will try the faith of the saints. They may not necessarily be announced during conference but certainly will be just a few weeks after."
She affirmed that she had been having the same impressions.
Sure enough, there was a policy change on November 5th that has indeed been a threshing among members.

This morning I read in D&C 88:79-80 where the Lord commands us to get an education "Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling where unto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you."

 I had the opportunity to go to the United Nations in March of this year.  That was an education I wasn't expecting. There my eyes were opened to the face of pure evil in the form of highly sophisticated organized groups operating under many institutions, nations, and names.... Names that no one would ever suspect because on the outside they "appear" to be doing a lot of good.  But the truth is they are "ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing" and underneath their motive is wicked, primarily driven by money and power.  The tragedy is that so many err because they are uninformed or misinformed and good people become pawns in the hands of these organizations.  If only people could catch a glimpse of what is really going on with the push for sexual rights.  It is an all-out fully-loaded cunningly devised attack to exploit and shred to pieces all that is sacred and holy.

Just over two weeks ago, I had the opportunity of attending World Congress of Families IX.  It was far more uplifting than some of the meetings I attended at the UN.  Instead of being a panel of talking heads banging themselves up against each other, it was refreshing at the WCF where everyone was unified on the real solutions to our social ills.  This was an international gathering of world and religious leaders who all agree on our need for a restoration of faith in God, protection of the family, of moral principles, and more protection of our religious liberty if we want to find healing in our homes and in our countries.

People may accuse me of being a conspiracy theorist but that doesn't bother me.  It's no surprise, we see this pattern in The Book of Mormon of which Joseph Smith said,

"The downfall of two great American civilizations came as a result of secret conspiracies whose desire was to overthrow the freedom of the people. 'And they have caused the destruction of this people of whom I am now speaking,' says Moroni, 'and also the destruction of the people of Nephi.” (Ether 8:21.)

Many factors that led to the destruction of the people could have been pointed out but notice how it was secret combinations that was the main cause.  

President Benson warned, "The greatest threat to... peace, prosperity, and the spread of God's work... is the godless conspiracy. There is no conspiracy theory in the Book of Mormon —it is a conspiracy fact."

This is one of the reasons why I esteem the Book of Mormon to be so crucial and valuable.  Those who make it their serious regular study will not be surprised in these last days to see all that will unfold.   Moroni says, “Wherefore, the Lord commandeth you, when ye shall see these things come among you that ye shall awake to a sense of your awful situation, because of this secret combination which shall be among you” (Ether 8:14.)

As much as I've witnessed "behind the curtains" there are those who have seen and do see so much more.  No one on the earth has been more educated of "things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations" than those who have been anointed as prophets, seers, and revelators.  These men have been called of God to stand as vigilant guards.

Last week, I read in Ezekiel 33 where it speaks of these great "Watchmen" and how they have given us such fair warning:

"When I bring the sword upon a land if the people of the land take a man of their coasts, and set him for their watchman:  If when he seeth the sword come upon the land, he blow the trumpet, and warn the people;  Then whosoever heareth the sound of the trumpet, and taketh not warning; if the sword come, and take him away, his blood shall be upon his own head." - Ezekiel 33:2-4

It's a sad day when the words of the prophets are rejected.  The mentality is just like my little "Revised Hymn" I wrote several years ago:

Ezekiel 33:30-33 says this
"...your people [the prophet's people or members of the Church] are talking together about you by the walls and at the doors of the houses, saying to each other, ‘Come and hear the message that has come from the Lord.’ My people come to you [the prophets], as they usually do, and sit before you to hear your words, but they do not put them into practice. Their mouths speak of love, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain.  Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice." (New International Version)

I believe the words of the living prophets and apostles.  I think we tread on dangerous ground when we take their counsel lightly or when a policy it set in place to label it as one brought on by fallible mortals.  As seers they have a clearer view of "things as they really are"...  for they see that which is unseen.  Oh how we need to trust this!  I sustain them and uphold them with all my heart.  I am not afraid to speak the truth for the truth is my sword in battle.  These watchmen stand guard to protect the city not to control it.  I choose to listen and obey.

-Alicia

The New Heart In Us

Paul Cardall is a popular pianist and musician who was born with congenital heart disease.  I've been listing to many of his compositions for nearly a decade now.  He had a blog I used to follow before he had surgery to receive his new heart in 2009.

This morning I was reading through the Old Testament (I am determined to finish it by the end of this year.) As I read Ezekiel 11:19 - 20.  I remembered back in 2009 a conference talk based off of this scripture.  It was the conference one month following Paul's miraculous heart transplant.  The timing was so perfect that it left an indelible impression on my mind and I've never forgotten it.  Elder Renlund spoke about the human body's natural reaction to reject a donor heart and what a recipient must do in order to preserve it.  He explained:

• "In each heart transplant recipient, the patient’s own body recognizes the new, lifesaving heart as 'foreign' and begins to attack it. Left unchecked, the body’s natural response will reject the new heart, and the recipient will die. Medicines can suppress this natural response, but the medications must be taken daily and with exactness. Furthermore, the condition of the new heart must be monitored. Occasional heart biopsies are performed wherein small pieces of heart tissue are removed and then examined under a microscope. When signs of rejection are found, medications are adjusted. If the rejection process is detected early enough, death can be averted."

• "Surprisingly, some patients become casual with their transplanted hearts. They skip their medicines here and there and obtain the needed follow-up less frequently than they should. They think that because they feel good, all is well. Too often this shortsighted attitude puts the patients at risk and shortens their lives."

This leads me to ask two questions, 

First, "What does this new heart or new spirit look like in our lives?" 

In my Book of Mormon study, I just read these verses that seem to have the answer. (2 Nephi 21:2-5 or Isaiah 11:2-5)

"And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord;

And shall make him of quick understanding in the fear of the Lord; and he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of his ears.

 But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.  And righteousness shall be the girdle of his loins, and faithfulness the girdle of his reins."

With this we can conclude that this is what the new heart looks like :

1. A Spirit that brings wisdom and understanding, (Also See Galatians 5:22-23)
2. A Spirit that gives direction and builds strength,
3. A Spirit that instills knowledge and Fear-of-God (not of man)
4. This deep reverence for the sacred will be all his joy and delight.
5. A Spirit that won’t judge by appearances, won’t decide on the basis of hearsay.
6. A Spirit that will judge the needy by what is right, and render decisions on earth’s poor with justice.
7. In the New Living Translation verse 5 interprets righteousness being the girdle of our loins as  "wearing righteousness like an undergarment" (I love to think about this in regards to the covenants we make in the temple.) 

Our family scripture study just happens to fall upon these verses in Mosiah.  It lines up perfectly with where I am in my personal study of both the Old Testament and the Book of Mormon. I love how the message is consistent! It says that everyone, "must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters; And thus they become new creatures" - Mosiah 27:25-26

Just as with a physical heart transplant, the patient must take measures to prevent their body from rejecting the new heart, so it is with this new Spirit.
This leads me to my second question:
"How do we keep the blood of Christ flowing and pumping through the veins of our soul?"

  Elder Renlund answers:

• We must "frequently assess the condition of [our] spiritually changed hearts." We must "not simply assume that all was well. By figuratively examining [our]changed hearts, [we can] identify any early hardening or rejection and treat it."

This frequent assessment or regular biopsy I believe is done through consistent recurrent visits to the Great Physician, through sincere daily prayers, through weekly partaking of the Sacrament and pondering the Lord's Atonement in our life, through asking how we can turn outside of ourselves, to humbly let go of what we want and follow the self-less life of the Savior.  We need to be willing to follow "the prescribed course" He sets for us as we seek His word through scriptures, priesthood counsel, and revelation.  As we do this and endure to the end He will help our weary hearts stay alive forever.

-Alicia

The First Law of Heaven

One thing I enjoy doing for scripture study is to pull up scriptures.byu.edu go to the right column and select where I am in my reading.  Then next to each individual verse it will show in small parentheses the number of talks given in General Conference that have referenced that particular scripture.  It's like using backwards footnotes and is a wonderful way to elevate my studies and tie them into what the modern prophets have said.

This morning I'm in the final verses of the first book of Nephi.  Here we read about the great need to be obedient to God.  Nephi states, "I would that ye should consider that the things which have been written upon the plates of brass are true; and they testify that a man must be obedient to the commandments of God... if ye shall be obedient to the commandments, and endure to the end, ye shall be saved at the last day.  And thus it is.  Amen." - 1 Nephi 22:30,31 
Through the process of study I mentioned, I found a great talk in 1997 by Elder Ballard called "Stand for Truth and Right."

I've been pondering on the principle of obedience and why it is so essential.  As a mother, it is greatly satisfying to me when my children obey by their own free will...  Especially when I see my children take care of a chore, a task, a responsibility without me having to ask them.  We all know this feeling as a parent, right?  It's high-fives and hugs all around as I shout, "You did it!  You did it and I didn't even have to ask!!  Wow, thank you, this makes me so happy!!"  When I react like this, my kids look at me like I'm weird or something because my excitement meter resembles a person who just won the lottery.  Maybe it's because this type of obedience from them feels that rare sometimes.

When Christ was on the earth He said, "If you love me, keep my commandments."  Isn't that the same desire we have for our children?  "Please be responsible and just take care of what I've asked you to do."

From the experiences I've had as a mom, I can clearly see the deep connection between love and obedience.  The major difference in such compliance is that God is perfect and we can trust that whatever He commands of us is always right.  I'm not a perfect mom and I'm certain that my requests aren't always the best, that there are probably infinitely better ways of handling things.  Nevertheless, these kids are in my care and I must do my best to teach them.  What keeps coming back to me is how much of this "teaching" must be done by my own example.

Yesterday, I randomly selected to listen to a conference session from the past.  I sorted through piles of laundry prepared them for washing, and took care of other chores, while the talks from April 2010's Saturday Morning Session played in the background.  It was a great session and I felt compelled to go back and repeat two of the talks, Sister Beck's and Elder Ballard's.  Both of these speak volumes to me about the example of obedience we set for our children.

Sister Beck speaks of how our obedience "with exactness" is directly correlated with the ability to receive personal revelation.  Elder Ballard spoke boldly of our influence as mothers.  He gave some very clear and strong counsel about standards we choose to uphold and how our children will follow our example more than our words.

"If the mothers are thrifty, so are their daughters. If the mothers are modest, so are the girls. If the mothers wear flip-flops and other casual clothing to sacrament meeting, so do their daughters. Mothers, your example is extremely important to your daughters—even if they don’t acknowledge it.

Throughout the history of the world, women have always been teachers of moral values. That instruction begins in the cradle and continues throughout the lives of their children. Today our society is bombarded with messages about womanhood and motherhood that are dangerously and wickedly wrong. Following these messages can put your daughters on the path to sin and self-destruction. Your daughters may not understand that unless you tell them or, better, unless you show them how to make good choices. As mothers in Israel, you are your daughters’ first line of defense against the wiles of the world.... 

...Let me assure you that even when you think your daughter is not listening to a thing you say, she is still learning from you as she watches you to see if your actions match your words. As Ralph Waldo Emerson is believed to have said, 'What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say' (see Ralph Keyes, The Quote Verifier [2006], 56)." - M. Russell Ballard

Are the things I am doing matching up with what I preach?
Can my children see that my obedience to God is sincere and done with the right intent?
I know I can and I must do better.

There are two things I want my children to know without a shadow of a doubt: One, that I love God and two, that I love them! But they won't believe what I say until they see what I do.

-Alicia

Ch-ch-ch-Changes

"Turn and face the strange."

This David Bowie classic was never a favorite song of mine but somehow I always find myself singing it when life shifts in new or unknown directions .  A couple of days ago, I was discussing with my group of homeschool moms all of the things that are unraveling in the world and in the church.  We are witnessing an unprecedented gathering and unification among people of all faiths.  Scriptures are being fulfilled and the Lord is hastening His work.  It's a wonderful time to be alive!

"The changes that have occurred and are presently occurring in the Church are of epic proportions: prophecy fulfilling, mind-boggling, and—for those of us who are convinced that the Restoration is a reality—thrilling. " -  President Rex E. Lee

 Conference begins today with the General Women's Session and the other sessions in a week.  I love Christmas but sorry Andy Williams, "THIS is the MOST wonderful time of the year!!"

This conference is going to be different than others I've experienced in the past.  It hasn't been since 1906 three new apostles have been called at the same time.  And I have a feeling in the next six months, we will witness two more called in.  This is huge and I anticipate with these things there will also be a few policy or program changes.  I imagine that some of these changes may even try our faith, some members may complain about or become irritated with them.  Because this is a church led by Divine revelation, a world-wide and rapidly growing organization, adjustments to programs or policy often become necessary.

With these changes taking place...  How do we reconcile the scripture found in Mormon 9:9?  "For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing?"

We understand:
"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same." - D&C 1:38

Also, "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God." -Articles of Faith 1:9

What François de la Rochefoucauld has said may be true. “The only thing constant in life is change.”  We can see all around us every day, on earth and in the sky above evidence of motion, conversion, transformation, and flux.  As mysterious and strange as it may seem, change is a beautiful and essential part of creation!

So how is it God doesn't change?   It is His doctrine and principles that remain absolute.  With God, there is no such thing as moral relativism.  He is a God of perfect responsibility and trust.

President Rex E. Lee said,
“I cannot think of anything more important than for each of you to build a firm, personal testimony that there are in this life some absolutes, things that never change, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. They are eternal truths, eternal principles and, as Paul tells us, they are and will be the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

This is what I know for certain will always remain standing and true forever:

1. God lives!  We have a loving Father in Heaven who hears and answers our prayers. We can commune with Him night and day.  He is deeply involved in our lives and cares about us making choices that set our souls free and help us reach our Divine potential. 
2. Jesus Christ is our Savior, our Redeemer.  He is one with our Father and has atoned for our sins.  It is only in and through Him that we are saved.  He is the author and finisher of our faith.
3. The Book of Mormon is true.  It is another witness of Christ and is inspired for our day. It also bears testimony of the Bible, and modern revelation.
4. The Priesthood has been restored on the earth.  Joseph Smith was a true prophet and we have Prophets and Apostles to guide and direct us today. The words they speak are scripture.

As solid and firm as these absolutes and eternal truths are, there is still a change involved... a beautiful change within ourselves, a transformation, a conversion, a new birth, where we become who we are meant to become.  

No, God doesn't change... but He certainly changes us!!  This is the miracle of creation!!

"And now, if ye have imagined up unto yourselves a god who doth vary, and in whom there is shadow of changing, then have ye imagined up unto yourselves a god who is not a God of miracles.  But behold, I will show unto you a God of miracles, even the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob; and it is that same God who created the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are." - Mormon 9:10, 11

And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? - Alma 5:14

"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.  And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.  And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God." - Ezekiel 36:26-28

If we have experienced this mighty change within us, may we always stay true!  May we remain constant and obedient, reliable and trustworthy to all that our Father in Heaven asks of us.  Obedience is the first evidence of love and the first law of heaven.  I pray our hearts will be open to the changes that are coming within the Church.  I pray we will prepare our families to always follow and give heed to the words of the living prophets.  What a wonderful and exciting time to be alive as we witness the stone cut out of the mountains without hands rolling forth!!

-Alicia