This Place

I have two foster children staying with me today and tomorrow as part of respite care.  Also, this afternoon I have a placement officer coming to visit my home in order to get a feel for the environment here and to help her make a decision of who will be placed with us.  We could have our own foster kids by the end of this week or next.  I cannot adequately describe how it feels to be taking on these responsibilities at this place and time ... the only thing that really comes to mind is that this is a very sacred work.  I feel honored and blessed to be a part of this rescue effort even if it requires more sacrifice, more energy, more time, more patience, and more love than I can ever possibly find within me.  It will stretch me and teach me and I'm anxious to learn.  There is nothing too hard for the Lord and with Him, I can do all that He requires of me.  I know this.

-Alicia

Handle With Care!

"Respite /ˈrespət,rēˈspīt/ = a short period of rest or relief from something difficult. rest, break, breathing space, interval, intermission, interlude, recess, lull, pause, time out."

Respite Foster Care is basically watching another foster parent's foster kids.  It's done through the foster care community because a you can't just have your good friend across the street watch the children.  They belong to the State so they need to be State-licenced and certified.  Last Saturday we had our first experience providing Respite Foster Care. We watched two small children for most of the day (a one-yr-old and  two-yr-old).

In four weeks, we are scheduled to do respite for another foster family.  This child will be several  years older and we will have him for four days.

My initial thought with Respite is that it wouldn't be much different from the times we've watched nieces or nephews,  After all, it's just for a short period and it seemed to me, in such time, it would feel mostly like babysitting.  But Respite Foster Care is not exactly like that.

I was surprised to discover, last Saturday, that it came with unexpected emotions and feelings.  There
is a sense of sacredness, fragility, vulnerability, and carefulness that hits your heart like a freight train the moment you set eyes on these children.  It's constantly in the back of your mind that behind their smile is a shattered life, one they have no control over.  They've been taken from everything familiar with only a handful of belongings and are expected to adjust again and again as they are passed from one stranger to the next; vagabonds, refugees, never knowing where, if any place, will ever be their permanent "home."

When we had these two babies last Saturday in our care, I wanted to give them the happiest memories I could.  I  wanted their time with us to be a good experience.  I wanted them to feel loved and valued, to help instill in them their Divine worth and their heavenly lineage.  I was in awe as I observed my youngest two biological children instantly filled with these same desires.  It was amazing to watch them bring out their favorite toys and spend hour after hour just entertaining them. I'm sure there was an element of novelty with it... but it was also very apparent that their motive went much deeper than that.  I witnessed a Christ-like compassion overflow within their souls as they reached out with complete self-less and genuine love.

Later that evening, we took the foster kids to a neighborhood block party.  Micah was adorable as he happily pulled the children in a wagon.  My older daughter had three of her cousins with her and they soon joined in to help watch the fosters.  I was grateful for the assistance.  We all had to be extremely vigilant among the huge crowds because these kids didn't have that internal compass that told them who they were supposed to stay close to.  They were so used to being put into the arms of strangers and not belonging to any particular people that they easily wandered off to anyplace and anywhere without looking back.

When the time came to return the children to the other foster parents, they didn't want to leave and the 2-yr-old clung to me with both arms and legs wrapped tightly around me.  He whimpered as the foster dad explained, prying his body away, "Sorry buddy, this is just how it goes."
How sad, I thought to myself, that "this is how it goes"... this is the only thing that has become consistent for the fosters: A never-ending cycle of: attachment - detachment, bond and break, hope, love and then hurt again. I almost felt guilty for trying to make their visit with us such a wonderful and loving experience because it seemed to add to the child's pain when it was time to leave.

I guess this is the hurt I need to get used to?  I've only tasted it in the smallest portion. All the foster parents talk about it.  They say in foster care, "prepare to have your heart broken over and over and over again."  In the training, I assumed that they meant hurt from stresses, task-overload, increased number of mouths to feed, fighting and just learning to adjust and help a traumatized child... you know, kind-of negative issues.  But I think last weekend I caught a little more of a glimpse of where the heartbreak will really come from.  It comes from laboring with all your soul to give the most love you possibly can give to another human being in a very short amount of time, to feel that love bind you, and then leave... you may never see them again... and it hurts because part of you goes with them.

It causes me to reflect on the importance of all my relationships.  Every human heart is fragile.  To love sincerely, offer empathy, give earnestly, and help genuinely, is to open the heart and mind to a vulnerability that brings intense joy but also deep pain. And so we proceed with every step, every day, every moment... to handle with care.

-Alicia

Beauty Divine

"I looked and beheld a tree... and the beauty thereof was far beyond, 

yea, exceeding of all beauty."

(1 Nephi 11:8)

Breathtaking vision, It's a sight to behold,

Something about it that never grows old.

Its brilliance is timeless and shines like the Son-

Bright as the day heav'n and earth become one.

Age will not tarnish purest beauty Divine

Each passing year only ripen, refine

Growing in majesty and flourishing grace,

Kindness, compassion, a smiling face,

Inspiring virtue, fine-tuned affection

Hope, friendship, joy, and human connection.
A new Spirit within from heaven above
Constantly reaching with a Christlike love,

Everlasting beauty that conquers the grave

Lives on in the soul and all that they gave.

by, Alicia Rawlins

Tree of Life by, Audiomachine

“I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and … lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.” - President Thomas S. Monson

"I have come to know that it is the love of God and neighbor that gives meaning to life. May we follow our Savior’s example and His admonition to reach out to others with love." - Cheryl A. Esplin

"There is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving." - Henry Drummond

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." - Henry Drummond

"To Bless and Sanctify"

Yesterday in my personal studies, I read where the Savior administers the Sacrament to the Nephite people saying, "He that eateth this bread eateth of my body to his soul; and he that drinketh of this wine drinketh of my blood to his soul; and his soul shall never hunger nor thirst, but shall be filled."- (3 Nephi 20:8)

I find it interesting that the Savior's administering of the Sacrament (or sanctifying moment) happened after a purifying moment.  When several disciples expressed through prayer their deep desire for the Spirit, the Savior then offered a prayer in response, "Father, I thank thee that thou hast purified those whom I have, chosen because of their faith..." (3 Nephi 19:28)

To purify and to sanctify something sound almost the same but they are different.

To PURIFY means to remove the contaminants from, to make clean.
To SANCTIFY goes a step beyond that, beyond just being clean... it means to make it holy, acceptable before God.

In the sacrament prayer we hear these words, "We ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread [and this water]." (Moroni 4:3 & 5:2)

Do you ever think of how awesome it is that we can take an earthly element and ask the Lord to make it heavenly (holy and acceptable before Him)?  We ask Him to "bless and sanctify" it.  The brother of Jared took molten rocks before the Lord and prayed for Him to touch them and make them shine, to be acceptable light in their journey across the sea. (Ether 3:1-5)

Thinking of the sacrament... or (sanctifying moment)... what other things have you laid before the Lord and prayed for Him to "bless and sanctify":  Yourself, your mind & heart, your marriage, your family, your efforts in your calling, your friendships, your relationships... what else?

I believe when we do this, He will faithfully honor the request, for the Savior explained, "What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?  If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" (Matthew 7:9-11)

Whatever we lay before our Father in Heaven, when we ask Him to "bless and sanctify" it, we might ask these questions:

What will this sanctification look like in our lives?
What changes may occur because of it?
How long will the process be?
Will it be joyful or painful... or a mixture of both?
How will it stretch us?
What perspective will we keep as the Lord answers this request?

These insights are helpful to me.  I have prayed with all my heart for certain things to be "blessed and sanctified"... yet, I haven't always been ready for exactly "how" the Lord would do that.
Ultimately, I believe we have to keep the faith, that whatever we lay before before Him, it will be handled with the greatest care...  and He will work wonders with it!

-Alicia

"Happy Day!!!"

Today is the big day! It's Palm Sunday and the First Day of Spring; a day of letting the Savior in, a day to start a new life, and begin new beginnings.  It's also the day we shout "Hosanna!" and dedicate the new Provo City Center Temple. This is the only one with such a unique "back-story."  It's inspiring to me on so many levels.  

After the tabernacle was gutted by fire and it stood a hollowed burned-out shell for months, I remember when President Monson announced it would be made into a temple, I was so thrilled that I cried and laughed at the same time.  I drove down the street and around the corner either that same day or the next, I remember it was raining.  I looked up at the east wall and saw a big banner with balloons that proclaimed, "Happy Day!"  This written declaration made my heart burst and the joyful tears I cried when it was announced returned.  I parked alone at that corner for just a moment to catch my breath and said out-loud responding to the banner, "It IS a happy day isn't it, it truly is a happy day!" 

Photo by, Sammy Jo Hester - Daily Herald

The kids had the cultural celebration last night.  They had been preparing for months.  We've never had an opportunity like it before and will likely never have one again.  All of the performances were beautiful.  Our kids danced to the song Reaching by, Audiomachine. They were awesome and I couldn't stop smiling, I felt so proud!   

I also really loved the one with umbrellas.  They danced to a song called, "Sometimes He Let's it Rain."  I've heard that song before and some of the lines are these:

"Sometimes He lets it rain, He lets the fierce winds blow.

Sometimes it takes a storm to lead a heart where it can grow.

He can move mountains of grief and oceans of pain, but sometimes He lets it rain.

There is no joy without the pain. Sometimes, He has to let it rain." 

It made me think of the talk by President Eyring a while back called "Where is the Pavilion?"  But after the storm, the sun is sure to shine, and shine it did!  For the final song, all 6,000 youth created a sun with girls dressed in white at the circle's center and beautiful rays of fire and light reaching up into the stands.  It was perfect!  Just perfect!

I pray my heart will be open today during the dedication.  I pray I will be receptive to the Lord and His way of transforming me, to purify me into who I need to be;  a better wife, a better mother, a better servant, and friend. I thank my Father in Heaven for this beautiful, beautiful house with it's inscription "Holiness to the Lord" and I pray dear Father, more holiness give me.

-Alicia

Hosanna!

This coming Sunday we will have the opportunity to participate in the dedication of the Provo City Center Temple.  How fitting that this sacred and glorious dedication has been appointed to be on Palm Sunday.  For FHE last night, we discussed the symbolism of Christ's entry into the ancient city and how He is entering our city today.

John 12:12-19, Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:28-44 , Zechariah 9:9 

• The Palm Branch = symbol of victory, triumph, peace and eternal life
• Riding on a donkey = a symbol of peace and meekness.  The horse was a symbol of war but donkeys were often used in peace treaties. 
• He came from the east and up into Jerusalem = The names of the cities listed in the Gospels  are of such an order to show this direction.  He also ascended upward into the city since Jerusalem is on a hill.  (The rising sun also comes from the east.)
• Hosanna - is a Greek form of the Hebrew expression for "Save us now," or "Save, we pray."... Note the rendering of the :Hosanna Shout: in the restored Church of Christ in the current dispensation on occasions of particular rejoicing before the Lord. (p. 523 Jesus the Christ)
• The first thing Christ did after entering the city was cleanse the Temple.

"The people were jubilant over the spectacle of Jesus riding toward the holy city... For the time being He was their king, and they His adoring subjects.  The voices of the mulititude sounded in reverberating harmony: ;Blessed be the King that cometh in the name of the Lord: peace in heaven, and glory in the hightest'; and again: 'Hosanna to the son of David: blessed is He that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.'" - James E. Talmage (Jesus the Christ p. 514)

We too feel blessed and are thrilled with the opportunity to rejoice and shout "Hosanna!" at this Temple dedication.  To offer Him this Holy House and welcome Him to our city.

We really had a great time with the kids last night in our discussion but it has caused me some deeper reflection - so I want to take a little time to go slightly further into this story. You see, with the temple that Christ entered into in Jerusalem, it was a different event than ours here in Provo:

"Amidst all this jubilation, Jesus was sad as He came in sight of the great city wherin stood the House of the Lord;  and He wept, because of the wickedness of His people, and of their refusal to accept Him as the Son of God; moreover He foresaw the awful scenes of destruction before which both city and temple were soon to fall.  In anguish and tears, He thus apostrophized the doomed city: 'If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.' (Luke 19:42)" - James E. Talmage (Jesus the Christ p. 515)

In other words He lamented, "If you had only realized what would bring you peace, real peace... but you've closed your eyes and refuse to see."

How were their eyes closed?
Is there a clue to this answer by the Savior's first choice of action after he dismounts the donkey? What does He do?  He immediately clears out the temple because they had turned it into a "den of thieves." - Luke 19:46  Perhaps He had some interest in real-estate, after-all, they had no right to do whatever they wanted in the Temple.  This was HIS house.  He was the owner, the possessor of this place.

Speaking of houses...  what about the one we dwell in as a family.... Who is the rightful owner of our home?  Is our home just a residence for ourselves or have we dedicated it to the Lord?  What do we invite in on a daily basis and would He approve?  How do we maintain the kind of atmosphere where His Spirit may dwell?

And what about our mortal tabernacle?  Who possesses it?
Each day the Lord leaves it up to us to choose, but we must always remember Who bought us.

"The purchase price for our fullness of joy--body and spirit eternally united--is the pure and innocent blood of the Savior of this world. We cannot then say in ignorance or defiance, 'Well, it's my life,' or worse yet, 'It's my body.' It is not. 'Ye are not your own,' Paul said. 'Ye are bought with a price.'" - Jeffrey R. Holland 

What kinds of things turn my own home "into a den of thieves"?

The way to peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come is to let the rightful Owner in our hearts, let Him in our home, and into our life!  Let Him claim His rightful place and take ownership.... not partial... this isn't fractional real-estate.... but full and complete ownership.
How do I let Him in?
What does that look like in my daily choices?
What does that look like for me as a mother, a wife, a sister, and a neighbor?

Just some thoughts I've been having....
-Alicia

Christ in Me

by, Jeremy Camp

"In this obsession with the things this world says make us happy

Can't see the slaves we are in all the searching all the grasping

Like we deserve much more than all these blessing we're holding

So now I'm running free into an ocean of mercy unending

So come and empty me 

So that it's you I breathe

I want my life to be 

Only Christ in me 

So I will fix my eyes

'Cause you're my source of life 

I need the world to see

That it's Christ in me"

"I Could Not Deny It" - Ponderize - Week 12

"I was born in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and five, on the twenty-third day of December..." - Joseph Smith

Just two days before Christmas in the small town of Sharon, Vermont, he was born; A prophet called of God to restore the truths of the everlasting gospel of Jesus Christ.  Joseph Smith was honest and sincere with a pure heart and desire to know the will of the Lord for him.  He did exactly as James 1:5 directs and sought for answers through humble prayer.  Verses 24&25 of his history are my very favorite:

"...It was nevertheless a fact that I had beheld a vision. I have thought since, that I felt much like Paul, when he made his defense before King Agrippa, and related the account of the vision he had when he saw a light, and heard a voice; but still there were but few who believed him; some said he was dishonest, others said he was mad; and he was ridiculed and reviled. But all this did not destroy the reality of his vision. He had seen a vision, he knew he had, and all the persecution under heaven could not make it otherwise; and though they should persecute him unto death, yet he knew, and would know to his latest breath, that he had both seen a light and heard a voice speaking unto him, and all the world could not make him think or believe otherwise.

So it was with me. I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation." - Joseph Smith

What happened to Joseph in that sacred grove and the visions and visitations that followed were miracles in this modern day!  I think sometimes when we hear or read of these things that it might seem distant to us, as if experiences such as these are out of our reach.  We may say to ourselves,  "I know I can pray but I doubt that God would ever open a vision to me or give me answers to questions such as these." Who are we to limit God? "My beloved... have miracles ceased? Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister unto the children of men."- Moroni 7:29

Joseph Smith and his counselors in the First Presidency gave the following instructions to the Saints who were gathering to Nauvoo:  “God hath not revealed anything to Joseph, but what He will make known unto the Twelve, and even the least Saint may know all things as fast as he is able to bear them, for the day must come when no man need say to his neighbor, Know ye the Lord; for all shall know Him … from the least to the greatest [see Jeremiah 31:34].” 

With any personal decision or challenge we might face in life, we can rest assured that the heavens are open and we can receive divine guidance in our sphere of jurisdiction.  "Even the least Saint may know." It is the essential element of faith.

Joseph Smith taught, "Miracles are the fruits of faith."  He said, "The best way to obtain truth and wisdom is not to ask it from books, but to go to God in prayer, and obtain divine teaching.” 

"[I] believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost."  I believe in them with all of my heart and soul.  Not even the smallest doubt exists in my mind of their reality.  When I pray, I know I am addressing my good and gracious Father.  He knows me intimately and cares for me with a love I cannot comprehend.  I have a Savior who redeems me, who lifts me back up after every fall, who knows my every heartache because he has experienced every pain.
This is my foundation.  I have learned this by faith.  I have learned this from sincerely praying and holding nothing back as I pour out my soul.  I have learned this by seriously studying the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon.

 I'm a little late in choosing my verse to ponderize this week.  But this is the one I have selected.  I think it is fitting both for the restoration of the Gospel and with Christmas in two days.

"I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it." - JSH 1:25

-Alicia

"Believe"

by, Josh Groban

Children sleeping, snow is softly falling

Dreams are calling like bells in the distance

We were dreamers not so long ago

But one by one we all had to grow up

When it seems the magic's slipped away

We find it all again on Christmas day

Believe in what your heart is saying

Hear the melody that's playing

There's no time to waste

There's so much to celebrate

Believe in what you feel inside 

And give your dreams the wings to fly

You have everything you need

If you just believe

Trains move quickly to their journey's end

Destinations are where we begin again

Ships go sailing far across the sea

Trusting starlight to get where they need to be

When it seems that we have lost our way

We find ourselves again on Christmas day

Believe in what your heart is saying

Hear the melody that's playing

There's no time to waste

There's so much to celebrate

Believe in what you feel inside 

And give your dreams the wings to fly

You have everything you need

If you just believe 

Just believe

Shelter From the Storm

I'm studying the Book of Mormon again (a little slower this time).  I'm also working my way through the Old Testament.  The brave stories of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego have been fresh on my mind.  The culture tide that is sweeping away so many of our young adults has been heavy on my heart. You know how in Helaman 5:12 it warns "when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds... his shafts [directed or barbed in sharp attack] in the whirlwind, yea... his hail and his mighty storm...[that] shall beat upon [us]".  Well, it's not a matter of "when" anymore... it's happening now.

Have you ever been in a category five hurricane or tornado?  I haven't but I've seen pictures of the devastation.  Imagine heaps of wood, metal, and glass shooting at you from all directions at 180 mph. 

Aftermath of Hurricane Andrew - 1992

Before something like this ever happens the people of the community hear numerous urgent warnings over the air waves from the news anchors.  "Run for cover! Find shelter! Head for a safe place!"  

I looked up images of storm shelters last night.  I was amazed at some of the stories of people emerging after the whirlwind to find nothing but devastation and rubble for miles and miles.  I'm sure their first thoughts as they step out uninjured and surveyed the scene, were thoughts of gratitude for the one little safe place they had for their family.

Moore, Oklahoma - 2013

In the Gospel, where is our shelter, our safe place?  

"And the Lord will create upon every dwelling-place of mount Zion, and upon her assemblies, a cloud and smoke by day and the shining of a flaming fire by night; for upon all the glory of Zion shall be a defense.  And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and a covert from storm and from rain." - 2 Nephi 14:5,6  Isaiah 4:5,6

I love this description!  Every time I read it I think of the Provo Temple.  It was designed to look like a cloud around the base and the spire used to be almost orange to represent a pillar of fire.

Look at those words in the verse again, "a place of refuge, and a covert from storm" isn't it beautiful and comforting to know we have these in so many areas of the world?  

What makes this place safe?  How does it rescue us and help us be anchored in such trying times?  Why do we run to the temple?  Of course the most central focus of the temple is Jesus Christ, He is the foundation and cornerstone.  The temple helps us understand our true identity and purpose.  It helps us discover who we are and who we are meant to become.

The temple also helps us understand who the Lord has appointed as true messengers to guide and teach us in our mortal journey.  In every single temple the baptismal font is built upon the backs of twelve oxen.  There is a reason for this! The number represents the twelve tribes of Israel.  It is a place of gathering back the branches of Jacob's tree.  Twelve is also the symbol of the priesthood, a symbol of covenant.

Phoenix, Arizona Temple

Early this Monday morning, I sat on the bench in the baptistery of the Provo Temple and gazed out at the font. For the previous two days my head had been spinning about the negative voices of the world calling after and leading astray so many of our good members.  I thought of the recent Facebook conversation I participated in and the young women involved.  I thought of this girl's father and how many tears he has shed on her behalf.  Knowing some of his stories, I reflected further... "He has gone through so much anguish for this daughter on so many levels - pleading and praying for her physically and spiritually. How much more burden does this man have to shoulder? Lord, how much?!" Alma 4:15 played in my mind, "Having seen the afflictions of [this] humble follower of God....[I] began to be very sorrowful; nevertheless the Spirit of the Lord did not fail [me]."  My heart ached, and I prayed, "Lord, isn't there something I can say or do to help rescue these children?" I opened the Book of Mormon to where I am in my personal study.  

"We are not witnesses alone in these things; for God also spake them unto prophets of old.

 But behold... they despised the words of plainness... sought for things that they could not understand. Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall." - Jacob 4:13,14

I reflected over and over on these words. They "looked beyond the mark." They missed the whole point, the plain and simple truths.  The storm was upon us.  We shouted and waved.  We pointed to the children where the shelter was "Get inside! Take cover!"...and they ran right past it looking for something "more appealing" less "restrictive," imagining something more significant. 

"However frustrating outside critiques may be, the bigger obstacle to finding sanctuary is when we begin to misunderstand our own beliefs—when we allow our faith to be diminished and trivialized. That can occur if we rewrite our own history, concluding that 'my mission wasn’t that meaningful' or 'I didn’t really have that experience.' In so doing, we fall prey to the situation described by George Orwell in his novel Nineteen Eighty-Four when he wrote: “Who controls the past . . . controls the future: who controls the present controls the past” (Nineteen Eighty-Four [New York: Penguin, 1950], 32).

At our worst, we caricature our own beliefs, making them seem small, insignificant, and slightly embarrassing. In the end we come to believe that our religion is no more than a series of interesting social customs and that our faith is as easily discarded as an unwanted gym membership." - Jeffrey F. Ringer - Finding Sanctuary

How is it that our culture has come to reject our very foundations of freedom?  How can we save our children who are being led astray?  "According to the scriptures, this stone shall become the great, and the last, and the only sure foundation, upon which the Jews can build. And now, my beloved, how is it possible that these, after having rejected the sure foundation, can ever build upon it, that it may become the head of their corner?" - Jacob 4:16, 17

The Lord of the vineyard, after all His labor, all His digging, all His nourishing and pruning, saw the branches of his beloved tree begin to perish and He cried, "It grieveth me that I should lose this tree." (Jacob 5:11) In an effort to save it He called servants to labor with Him.  Together they "did go and labor with their mights" (Jacob 5:72).  Even though the tree was dying for a time and it seemed as if there was no hope, the tree was revived and their efforts were not in vain. The Lord rejoiced saying, "I have preserved the natural fruit, that it is good, even like as it was in the beginning. And blessed art thou; for because ye have been diligent in laboring with me in my vineyard, and have kept my commandments, and have brought unto me again the natural fruit, that my vineyard is no more corrupted, and the bad is cast away, behold ye shall have joy with me because of the fruit of my vineyard." - Jacob 5:75

There is another temple in Provo.  It will be dedicated next March.  It stands as a symbol of redemption.  It proves that even if one has been ravished by storm or fire, even if it looks as if all hope is lost or that they will never return.... that there is a bigger part of the story to unfold we don't always foresee and that God is "mighty to save!"

Hold on and never lose hope!  "God's in His heaven.  All's right with the world." - Browning

Provo Tabernacle - December 2010

Provo City Center Temple - Present Day

Let it be known:
 "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified." - Isaiah 61:3

This is my testimony.
-Alicia

A Sign of Our Love & Faith

"Faith in God engenders a love for the Sabbath; faith in the Sabbath engenders a love for God... True believers keep the Sabbath day holy." - Elder Russell M. Nelson

What a great time in the history of the world to be alive!! As members of the church, we have innumerable teaching tools at our fingertips to help increase faith in the hearts of our children and invite a greater measure of the Spirit in our homes, especially on the Sabbath Day.

In our most recent General Conference, Elder Russell M. Nelson said, "I almost wish I were a young father once again. Now parents have such wonderful resources available to help them make family time more meaningful, on the Sabbath and other days as well. They have LDS.org, Mormon.org, the Bible videos, the Mormon Channel, the Media Library, the Friend, the New Era, the Ensign, the Liahona, and more—much more. These resources are so very helpful to parents in discharging their sacred duty to teach their children. No other work transcends that of righteous, intentional parenting!"

The vocabulary I love here is, "righteous, intentional parenting."  To me this is when we as parents are very deliberate about what we teach and allow to be taught to our children, especially in our homes.  When it comes to worship, it means we choose carefully only those things on the Sabbath that will direct us to Christ, things that elevate our hearts, our minds, and our actions, to be about His work in strengthening our own faith and the faith of others.  When our children see that our intent is sincere, they can be influenced in a righteous way and the same desires will begin to work within their hearts.  We can intentionally choose to have light and truth flood our homes with all the access we have to the wonderful resources Elder Nelson listed.

My son, Chandler is a great example to me of keeping the Sabbath Day holy.  He obsesses over watching football and has always wanted to have a Superbowl party.  Well, we have a rule in our family that anything we watch, read, or listen to on the Sabbath must be something that helps us focus on Christ and His Gospel.  This was hard for him, especially when February rolled around.
When he was 11yrs old, all his friends were talking about the upcoming Superbowl and he was relentless, "Please mom and dad, please let me watch the Superbowl.  All my other friends at church do."  We told him that he would need to make the decision himself.  We said we would not watch it as a family and that we'd be happy to find a way to record it so we could have an "after bowl party" the next day.  (Of course he thought that sounded lame and we couldn't really blame him for feeling that way.)
We encouraged him to study, fast, and pray about it.
It was amazing to watch this boy the next few days as he studied from For the Strength of Youth and Preach My Gospel under the subject of the Sabbath.  He also fasted and prayed.

After primary was over one Sunday, he pulled our bishop aside and counseled with him.
"Bishop Madsen, do you think it's alright for me to watch the Superbowl on Sunday?"
"Well, Chandler that's a really tough question. Some people do and some don't.  What are your thoughts?"
He answered, "I've been praying about it.  I've also studied in For the Strength of Youth and Preach My Gospel."
 "That's great Chandler! Did you get your answer?"
"Yes," he said with the sound of disappointment in his voice. "After all that I've read, I've concluded that I'm just going to have to watch other games."
The bishop was impressed and so were we.  This was not an easy choice for Chandler to make.  But from his own study of doctrine, he came to the conclusion what he felt was right.

Chandler is 14 now and continues to help nourish a spiritual home environment on the Sabbath Day.  Most of the time he returns to our house from church before the rest of us do.  For the last year I have arrived home to the sound of General Conference playing. It has become a habit for him to play it on Sundays and it always gives me something to look forward to when I walk through the door.

Recently it's been said by prophets of God that how and when we wear the temple garment becomes an "outward expression of an inner commitment."  I believe the same test of loyalty and love for God is revealed in how we choose our time on the Sabbath Day.  In fact, Elder Nelson expressed, "I learned from the scriptures that my conduct and my attitude on the Sabbath constituted a sign between me and my Heavenly Father. With that understanding, I no longer needed lists of dos and don’ts. When I had to make a decision whether or not an activity was appropriate for the Sabbath, I simply asked myself, 'What sign do I want to give to God?' That question made my choices about the Sabbath day crystal clear."

If we live by the Spirit and sincerely desire to show our love to God, the Lord will help us recognize those things that will help us elevate and enrich our Sabbath experience.  As we act upon these promptings, we will be blessed not only with a greater measure of His love in our hearts and homes but we'll be blessed with the ability to call down heaven.  I know this!  Meaningful worship and intentionally seeking Christ is worth more than anything the world has to offer!

-Alicia

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-sabbath-is-a-delight?lang=eng

Unlocking Our True Self

Sister Patricia Holland gave a wonderful talk in 1987 called, The Soul's Center.  She tells of a very real illness that is increasingly common umong women and asks:

“What are we doing to ourselves? Is this that female curse Isaiah spoke of in his prophecies? Is this some special last days’ dilemma into which we are entering and from which we may find it near-fatally difficult to withdraw?"

She then goes on to make some very telling observations of what may be the cause of this malady.

"I believe that as women we are becoming so concerned about having perfect figures, or straight A’s, or professional status, or even absolute motherly success, that we are being torn from our true selves. We often worry so much about pleasing and performing for others that we lose our own uniqueness, that full and relaxed acceptance of ourselves as a person of worth and individuality. Too many women watch helplessly as their lives unravel from the core that centers and sustains them. Too many are like a ship at sea without sail or rudder, tossed to and fro (as the Apostle Paul said) until more and more of us are genuinely, rail-grabbingly seasick.

I believe we can find it—the steady footing and the stilling of the soul—by turning away from the fragmentation of physical preoccupations (whether it be thin or fat) of superwoman careers or endless popularity contests and returning instead to the wholeness of our soul.

[Satan] knows that to truly find ourselves we must lose ourselves, so he begins to block our increased efforts to love—to love God, our neighbor, and ourselves. True charity takes us into the beauty...self-evaluation. To see ourselves as we really are often brings pain; but true humility, which comes from that process, is a godly virtue. We must be patient with ourselves as we overcome weaknesses and remember to rejoice over all that is good in us. This will strengthen the inner woman and leave her less dependent on outward acclaim. When the soul reaches the stage that it pays less attention to praise, it then cares very little when the public disapproves. These feelings of strength and the quiet triumph of faith carry us into an even brighter sphere. 

Sister Holland gives five keys to unlocking our souls, our true selves, the Divine identity within us.  Each key opens up access to the next key and are as follows.

1st - Sincere Prayer
2nd - Scripture Study (combined with sincere prayer, provides us with revelation)
3rd - True Charity
4th- Self-Evaluation /humility (losing ourselves)
5th - Lifting the veil

As we reach through the veil
"we have our chance to meet God face-to-face. For those who, like the brother of Jared, have the courage and faith to break through the veil into that sacred center of existence, we will find the brightness of the final box brighter than the noonday sun. There we will find peace and serenity and a stillness that will anchor our soul forever, for there we will find God.

Wholeness. Holiness. That is what it says over the entrance to the fifth box. Holiness to the Lord. 'Know ye not that ye are the temple of God?' (1 Corinthians 3:16). I testify that you are holy, that just by being born, divinity is abiding within you, waiting to be uncovered—to be reborn. God bless you in your search for the sacred center of your soul" 

(The Soul's Center by, Patricia Holland- BYU Devotional 1987)

I love this talk.  Sister Holland nails it!  She understands what it means to have a soul centered on Christ.  It is here in this simple uncomplicated pattern of keys that frees us from the need to be noticed or the race to be recognized.  Women who follow this course know and understand their true identity.  They are settled and at peace even in the middle of the storms surrounding them.  These are women who truly trust in God's love, His grace, His commandments, and His covenants.  Their lives become less of a "balancing act" because there is only One they need to please and He is at the center of their heart.

-Alicia

Selling the Sacred

"What shall it profit a man, 
if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"

Mark 8:36

 When Christ visited the ancient Americas, He prophesied that His chosen people would "sell [Him] for silver and for gold, and for that which moth doth corrupt and which thieves can break through and steal" - 3 Nephi 27:32

How could anyone get to that point?

What brought Judas, the once chosen disciple, to the place where he willingly gave up the Kingdom of God and His relationship with the Savior in exchange for thirty pieces of lousy silver??

It's not just money that the sacred is sold for.  It is given up in exchange for all kinds of "gain" - for appetite, praise, popularity, fame, friends, or attention.  Esau, with his unsatisfiable hunger, willingly forsook his blessings of birthright for a "mess of pottage."

It's puzzling how unbalanced and grossly lopsided the trade-off is -Yet we see it all around us today: the Sabbath is traded in for sport and recreation, modesty is traded in for fashion and attention, the counsel of living prophets is exchanged for popular opinion, quiet communion with God is given up for the clamor and rant of "saving face" on social pages.  The list goes on and on.

What other sacred things do we sell?

From the Mt. Sinai, Moses laid out the very first commandment from heaven, "Thou shalt have no other God's before me."  

Why was this commandment first?  The Savior taught, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God; and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33  

"Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven." 

Nothing the world has to offer could ever compare to what God can give. The sacred is not something to be sold because it is beyond price, no earthy gain could match its infinite value.

The Lord desires to pour out blessings upon us but in order to receive them we must prove He is first priority. And as it is with every commandment kept and held close to our hearts, glorious promises are given.  The wide path the world chooses is easy to recognize because so many go there but the narrow path is found by only a few - it takes "eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to understand." 

Which road will we take?

"I'm tryin' to get somewhere that's real and pure and eternal...

....I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul."
 (lyrics from TobyMac)

-Alicia