But we couldn't sign it.
This morning and all day we have felt frustration and confusion about buying this home even though it seems to fit just fine for what we need. We could even move into it in a couple of weeks if we wanted. Everything is ready... but something isn't settling with us. We keep feeling like we need to wait. It's been hard because we don't want to look back with regret and realize we passed up a great home. It has also been hard to discern between "a stupor of thought" or just our own desires to stall and hang on to what we have here.
Last week, when we were considering a different home and things fell through, Joseph picked up the Ensign wondering what direction it might have for us. He came across an article entitled, "According to the Will and Timing of the Lord" by, Elder Bednar. It was so applicable for our situation! This principle has returned to both our minds several times over this process, "It's not ready yet. Not yet." The question is: Do we have the courage to trust this? Do we trust that there is something better out there?
We can look more. We can take our time. The Lord softened our Landlady's heart to allow us month-to-month. Maybe it's meant for us to take advantage of that?
We knelt and prayed tonight and presented our decision to the Lord to pass on this home and to wait a little longer. As we did so, we both felt the tension leave us and peace return. Joseph emailed the seller to inform him that we won't be signing the offer. This wasn't easy to make but we feel good with it.
Tomorrow we are going to the Temple together to seek more guidance and inspiration. We pray with all our hearts that we might be in tune enough to recognize where exactly we need to be.
"Strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives—
even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted."
- Elder David A. Bednar
-Alicia
2 comments:
I love the Lords timing, and you can't imagine what a statement that is to me. I used to be so impatient, and then resigned and then just plain obnoxious when it came to waiting. In the process of waiting, I found that I would literally "talk myself" out of end result whether good or bad. I am sure, Father is amused by these seemingly one sided conversations. But I am learning that if I can just keep still for a "small moment" as opposed to those big ones, and listen and look. Lately in my life, and not because of any good that I have done, the Lord in his kindness has "opened a door" in my own perception of Him and how he works. What I "know for sure" is this verse from
Romans 8:28 28 And we know(with a surety) that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose
I look at this verse and I literally "see" myself in the narrative so to speak, and I "see" how the Savior is working on our behalf.
"We know" because we are included in the inner workings of the time frame of our life.
All things "that pertain to life and Godliness" is in process in our lives right now.
We love our Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ
We are called according to his purpose, as sons and daughters, as families ordained for his purpose.
In Moses 1
The Lord showed Moses the wonder and awe of his creation, even down to the very people populating the planet. And in His declaration, it seems that even God veiwed it with awe, by noting the "endless" nature of his works (all on our behalf)
Isaiah 64:5 For from days of old, they have not heard or perceived by ear. Nor has the eye seen a God besides You, who acts in behalf of the one, who waits for Him.
Moses 1:3-4
3 And God spake unto Moses, saying: Behold, I am the Lord God Almighty, and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end of years; and is not this endless?
4 And, behold, thou art my son; wherefore look, and I will show thee the workmanship of mine hands; but not all, for my works are without end, and also my words, for they never cease.
The house that my husband and I have lived in, even now, was literally a gift. Looking back on it now, I know the reason and purpose for us. I would not have personally chose the house we live in, but it was chosen for us. We only paid closing cost, and assumed the remainder of the VA loan that the former owners had used. We were all in the military. Now this house came with issues, and it had stories within it's walls. But the purpose for us in this home was to literally "come home". My husband was re-activated to the Church, I was baptized, we were endowed and sealed for time and eternity. All while living in this home. And it is no coincidence that our chapel is about a 20 minute walk from the house.
Even now, this house is still a blessing to me, a very low mortgage, our neighborhood is better than it was when we moved in.
In my heart, I know that Father is working on my behalf as I am waiting just like you to move on to my new home.
Dear Ramona,
You always say just the right things. Thank you so much for sharing your faith and testimony with me. I pray for you as you seek direction in this new stage of life you are facing. I know that you are a powerful instrument in the Lord's hands and that He is already working through you. Your influence is very much needed, even tens of thousands of miles away. :)
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