A week ago in church, I met a friend in the hall and we began talking. Shortly into the conversation I felt tugging on the entire right side of my body. I didn't even look down to see what it was but just continued conversing. Ever so slightly in the background I began to hear a voice that sounded like my youngest daughter. "Mom! Mom!" She tugged some more. She must have called me at least ten times before I even acknowledged her. I looked down and responded with surprise, "Oh, hi Kaylee!"
Disappointingly she stated, "Mom, I've been standing here and talking to you but you wouldn't listen."
"Oh, hun, I'm so sorry. I was talking to my friend and I honestly didn't hear you. What was it you've been trying to tell me?"
"I just wanted to say 'hi'."
"Hi sweetie! That was so nice of you to say hello on your way to class. Thank you!"
She hugged me and then ran off happy.
After she left, I wondered at how I have gotten so incredibly good at tuning out my children. I think it starts when they are young and grows even more when they become teenagers.
I've spent a lot of time and practice learning to tune out fighting, whining, screaming, and the works (you know "the works"). I'm completely convinced this skill is a necessary virtue parents learn to develop in order to keep their sanity. But in the process of learning to tune out the negative, I often find myself tuning out positive encounters too (as exemplified in my experience with Kaylee.)
This isn't just with my kids though, I've practiced it so much at home that sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing in conversations with adult friends. It's like I zone out into auto pilot and my body is present but my consciousness has left the building. The worst is when I finally come to myself and realize I've just been asked a question. I feel exactly like Emmet from the Lego Movie when he responds to Wildstyle, "I think I got it.. but just in case, tell me the whole thing again, I wasn't listening."
Yeah... I'll be the first to admit that I'm really not the best listener. I'm working on it though... slowly but surely. I've decided that maybe the verse I ponderize this week can help me in the process.
"Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak...." - James 1:19
It's true I need a lot of improvement in this area. I'm really not the best at it... but here's the good news: I know Someone Who IS the Best Listener!! Jeremiah 29:12, Psalms 5:3, Psalms 116:1,2, Psalms 18:6
-Alicia
2 comments:
I am really happy that Heavenly Father never tune's us out. I thought about that once, What does Heavenly Father think of our whineyness, our auto pilot prayers and we all have those moments. But I know he can see into our hearts and glean out what we are really trying to say to him, what we really want to hear Him say.
Thank you Alicia
Yeah, He's a pretty amazing Father! How grateful I am that He even listens to the deep achings of my heart, those areas so personal that I struggle to find the words for, that the Spirit makes intercession for that which I cannot express. (Romans 8:26)
Thanks for commenting, Ramona. :)
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