This Mission

I'm at a loss of words with what to post these days.  I feel like we've all been through the war with foster care.  You know a soldier can prepare and train for battle, they can go through all the drills, but there is nothing like actually being on the front lines. It's a real eye-opener to say the least. Foster care and adoption are extremely romanticized: There is so much more underneath and behind every story.

I met a woman named Hannah in church whose mother-in-law was a foster mom for many years.  Last Sunday, Hannah asked me how things were going.  I told her, "we're just taking it one day at a time.  That's really all we can do." She listened sincerely.  Hannah was so thoughtful and quickly sought for some advice from her mother-in-law.  Later that afternoon, I received a very long email as a response.  I really needed the support.

I know that things could be so much more difficult than they are.  I just read a post by another foster mom seeking advice. She explained that her foster son has these outbursts where he starts throwing the heaviest thing in the room and punches her other kids in her family until they bleed. "until they bleed?" Sheesh! Reading that made me very grateful we haven't had any situations that extreme.

Every time we come close to throwing in the towel, both Joseph and I get some kind of impression or some sort of heavenly nod that encourages us to keep going.  Last weekend, I went to Time Out for Women.  Nathan Pacheco sang the main theme from The Mission (a song that has played a huge role in my life's mission). Later,  Micheal Wilcox and Hillary Weeks both gave analogies to trials as climbing a mountain (another parallel in my own life). The part that I least expected was when  Emily Freeman spoke briefly about her experience as a foster mom while raising her four biological children. So much of the event felt like a direct message to me... to us, in all we are facing.

This mission wasn't given to us because we were worthy for it.  Heaven knows there are a billion other parents who would do a far better job than we are doing!  This mission was given to us because we asked for it, we were willing to do it.  If we hadn't relied on God before, we're certainly relying on Him now because we definitely can't do this on our own.

 "Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." - 2 Timothy 2:3

"And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." - D&C 84:88

-Alicia