Fifteen Years Ago Today

Fifteen years ago, today, my life was changed forever in the most beautiful way! I gave birth to my very first child and it was an experience I'll never forget.  The whole concept of time, the earth and the universe, seemed to stand still in our world as my husband and I held in our arms the wonder of human creation connected with the powers of heaven.  What took us most by surprise was the intense pure love we felt for this tiny human life.  In awe we pondered, "If we as imperfect mortal parents feel the smallest fraction of love for our children... What must it be like compared to our  Father-in-Heaven?  Imagine the love of a perfect immortal and all powerful God must have for us!" Nothing is more Divine, more close to heaven, than that of becoming a mother or a father!

 It's hard to believe that my little guy could ever grow up so fast. Now he's taller than me by almost half a foot and has me beat by 25 lbs! It's crazy!  When we wrestle, we have to be careful.  After a few bruised ribs of mine, he's learned to be a little more gentle as he easily picks me up and throws me on the couch.  My, my how have the tables turned!  I remember when I used to play the "tossing games" with him.  Of course, I never bruised any of his ribs.  His weakness is that he's extremely ticklish... and well... that's my weakness too but if I tag him just right, the wrestling match is over and I still reign!!

My love for Chandler is different for him than what I felt when he was a newborn.  I believe it is more refined.  It has been tested and tried.  He is my first-born and I've made a lot of mistakes. He's incredibly strong-willed.  (Not unlike his mother. ha ha.) I push and he pulls.... I pull and he pushes.  I've stumbled and bumbled along my way as I've approached every new stage of his life. Each stage was a new one for me too.  So many times, sitting at his bedside apologizing for my behavior, explaining my desires and discussing how we are growing up together.  So many humbling moments on my knees praying to God, "How do I do this?"
So many more to come....

He has always had a fun sense of humor and he has become more entertaining through the years. He has this uncanny ability to do impersonations and quote funny lines verbatim which has caused me to roll on the floor laughing so hard that it hurts.

He also has a tender spiritual side that comes out every once in a while.  I most often discover this side of him in the playlists he shares with me.  The other morning I went for my weekly hike up the Y and decided to listen to his music.  The song, Broken Circle by, Second Suspense, started to play as I surveyed the gorgeous scenery of this valley I love so much.  I looked for my home, for the Temple, and gazed down at BYU's campus.  With the music and the view, the feeling in my heart was magical.

Speaking of BYU... that's another thing I absolutely love about Chandler.  I don't think there's a football fan who gets more excited for every season than him.  He has the whole thing predicted in full color on a spreadsheet.  Check this out!  This is serious stuff!
Sorry opposing teams, it looks like it's straight losses for you guys and a winning National Championship for the Cougars!

Happy Birthday to my first born!  When you came into my life, I never wanted you to grow old.  I wanted to keep you young and hold you forever in my arms.  But now I'm seeing how fun it is to watch you grow and become a man.  I'm seeing how great it is to have you hold me in your arms. (Even if it's because I've just been tackled and my body is twistedly stuck as you've pinned me to the floor.)  It's still "in your arms" and I'll take it.  ;)

You are full of passion and excitement for life.  You are awesome!  I love you more than ever!  You're a good, good son and I'm proud to call you mine.

-Alicia (aka - MOM)