What Shall I Give the Child?

I was having a conversation about adoption with a friend of mine the other day, she thoughtfully mentioned a woman she knew who also has recently decided to adopt.  I instantly recognized the description of the woman my friend spoke of because she's a homeschooler too.  I had seen their family photo on social media advertising themselves to find a birth mom.  The picture of their perfectly clean and dressed children flashed in my mind.   This woman and her husband run their own music business, their children all play instruments, or take other lessons.  They have a gorgeous home that is impeccably organized and the list goes on.

My friend continued to tell me a story about a recent amazing and outstanding accomplishment of this woman.  I can't even remember what the story was because I started to zone out .  I could feel my train of thought switching tracks and the nagging shoulder demon climb aboard;  "Look at everything this woman has to offer the new little baby she adopts; a spacious gorgeous home, beautiful clothes, professional music, karate, and dance lessons.  What can I offer?  What would make a birth-mother choose me when there are women out there like her?  I can't offer any of those things."

That night as I knelt to say my evening prayers, the feelings of inadequacy continued to weigh heavy on my heart.  A memory from before I  met my husband entered in my thoughts: I was hanging out at my boyfriend's house when I overheard his mother in the other room gossiping that I reminded her of Eliza Doolittle, so unrefined and uneducated.  (Thank goodness I dodged that bullet for a mother-in-law!!)  But even though it was 20 years ago, her words echoed hauntingly in my mind as I knelt in my living-room to pray.  I poured out my soul to God.  I shared with Him my desires to care for this little child despite everything I lack.  "I'm not very well educated but I'm working on that.  I can't offer professional music or dance lessons... but I promise my home will be filled with music and dancing.  I can't offer lots of space for the child to live in because our apartment is not that big... but I promise their will be no shortage of room in my heart.  I can't promise stylish clothes because I've never been good at keeping up with fashion... but every day I will strive to clothe them in the "armor of God."  I prayed until I fell asleep and awoke only slightly enough to drag myself to bed.

The following morning, this song by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir was playing like angels singing in my head, "What Shall We Give "...  I got up and searched for it on Youtube.  Tears immediately streamed down my face as the image of the Christ child in a lowly manger struck my heart.  Did Mary and Joseph feel inadequate like me?  Did they wish with all their souls that they could provide only the finest for their newborn baby?  In this moment, the Spirit whispered to me a beautiful and valuable lesson,  "Alicia, the very Son of God was born into far more humble circumstances than yours.  What are the gifts that truly matter most to Him?  He's not concerned with material things or how well your children fall in line with the social upper classes.  He wants them to fall in line with Him... and anyone, with any background, in any circumstance can do that."  Grateful for this revelation, I felt comforted and my heart was at peace.

What shall I give this child?
The same thing I give to my Lord and Savior.  I will give love and affection, praise and adoration.  I will give my whole heart and soul.
-Alicia