Six to Eight

Our family grows by two more today.  We're being placed with our first official foster children. I have their beds and dressers ready.  I bought a little stuffed animal for both of the children and wrote a small note to the older one welcoming him into our family. He's been coming over every day after school for the past week-and-a-half, staying until dinner.  The social worker didn't tell him we'd be his new foster parents until a couple days ago and I think it's a frightening change for him just as it is for us--so many unknowns.

The woman who had been watching the kids for the past three months came over yesterday and we talked for about an hour.  I was in the middle of doing my homework when she stopped by and the timing of her visit wasn't the best. I have been doing research for my class at BYU and it has been a very time-consuming project- so I was already a bit nervous about my schedule. I must admit that the things she shared with me were very intimidating too.  She warned me that the little girl never sleeps because of night terrors--waking and screaming, biting and scratching herself almost every hour from so much trauma. I could feel the anxiety grow in my heart as she shared other stories with me.

After she left, I prayed and pled for guidance and comfort. I decided to make an impromptu visit to the DCFS office near my home and speak with the children's social worker.  He spoke to me for over an hour and I was glad to have connected with him.

Later in the evening, Joseph and I went to the temple and did a session.  We always take a moment to pray together and share with each other thoughts and impressions as we sit in the Celestial room. He expressed the insights he had and then asked, "What about you?" I reflected on the events of the day and the intense emotion I felt earlier in contrast to how I was feeling then. I answered, "I didn't have anything revealatory come to me, but I have felt incredible peace. Somehow, at this moment, even knowing what lies ahead and the exhaustion I will feel caring for these children (the weekly parent visits, the court dates, the medical, dental, school appointments, etc.) I feel peace. All the anxiety and worry is gone from my heart and I'm so incredibly grateful for that."

This morning, I went to take my two oldest to do baptisms at the temple with a friend but the kids decided last-minute to sleep in. I was already up and ready to go, so I went alone and did some initiatories. Again, nothing revealatory happened, I just felt peace.

One foot in front of the other.  Keep on keeping on.

I'm so grateful that this is the Lord's work and that He'll be with our family through all of it, just as He has always, always been there for us.

-Alicia