"As Thou Wilt" - Ponderize - Week 25

I had the opportunity to take my son and four other youth to the brand new City Center Temple this morning.  Chandler wanted to get there super early so he left with his friend at 4:30 am.  I met him later at 5.  We weren't the first ones in the font but we were pretty close.

It was great to see some familiar faces with Brother and Sister Oliver & Brother and Sister Rowley  (Workers from the old Provo Temple on the hill.)  In this new Temple, I love the stain glass windows on the wooden doors in the baptistry there because you can see clearly through them into the next room. The whole Temple is absolutely beautiful.

Since Easter is this coming Sunday, I took my scripture study focus to the later chapters in Matthew and the week of events leading up to the Savior's atonement.  It caused me to reflect on the wonderful lesson Miriam and Micah gave last night for FHE.   I've been pondering on the verse where it describes Jesus praying in Gethsemane, "He went a little further, and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." -  Matt 26:39

Those words, "As Thou wilt" stood out to me more than usual and I read them in modern language, "As you wish."  This may seem kind-of cheesy, but reading it like that immediately made me think of The Princess Bride and the code-word Westley uses for "I love you."  As cheesy of a parallel it may seem, I think it really fits!!

"As Thou Wilt = As You Wish = I Love You." 

 It makes so much sense!  The only thing is now every time I watch that movie and every time I read this verse, both will come to my mind. ....I guess that's okay as long as I don't have thoughts of Westley rolling down a hill during the sacrament.  :P

-Alicia

"Not Distressed" - Ponderize - Week 21

I had the opportunity to talk with a young woman from my ward this morning who will be moving away soon.  She told me how much she doesn't want to leave and how frightened she is to start over. "Change can be so hard." I related to her as I remembered June of 1990 - It was the first time I had ever moved to a new place.  I was terrified. But looking back, it ended up being a huge blessing.  It lead me to the right seminary teachers, the right young women's leaders, the right friends, the right everything that I needed as an anchor through some of the most difficult and stormy days I would face in my family. The Lord knew the best place for me to be.

I could see the worry on my young friend's face as I looked her in the eyes.
"Can I show you something?" I asked.
She nodded approvingly.
I opened up the Old Testament and pointed to this verse:
"They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."- Psalms 126:5
She read the words and looked back at me waiting for an explanation.
"Whenever I've reached different crossroads or approached big changes in my life... almost everything I was worried about never ended up happening or it never turned out as bad as I thought it would.  In fact, some of the most beautiful things in my 'garden of life' have come from those things that brought the most pain and I'm actually grateful for them now.  Like rain is to soil, any tears you cry will help seeds of joy to eventually grow."
She swallowed back the emotions beginning to surface and nodded again.  I could see she wanted to believe it.
I hugged her with assurance, letting her know of good things to come.  I testified of the Lord's love and guidance.

"Joy"- That's where I started my studies off this morning.  It lead me to some verses in the New Testament which I think will be the ones I ponderize this week:

"For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body." 2 Corinthians 4:6-10

I searched through some talks related to this scripture and found an excellent one given in October of 2002 by, Neal A. Maxwell.  (I highly recommend listening to the entire sermon, it's beautiful!)

"Regarding trials, including of our faith and patience, there are no exemptions—only variations (see Mosiah 23:21). These calisthenics are designed to increase our capacity for happiness and service. Yet the faithful will not be totally immune from the events on this planet. Thus the courageous attitudes of imperiled Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego are worthy of emulation. They knew that God could rescue them. “But if not,” they vowed, they would still serve God anyway (see Dan. 3:16–18). Similarly, keeping the unfashionable but imperative first and seventh commandments can reflect the courage which three young women displayed anciently; they said no with their lives (see Abr. 1:11).

Therefore, we can be troubled on every side, but nothing can really separate us from the love of Christ (see 2 Cor. 4:8; Rom. 8:35–39); worldly anxieties are not part of being 'anxiously engaged' (D&C 58:27). Even so, as Peter urged, we can and should cast our cares upon the Lord, because He surely cares for us! (see 1 Pet. 5:7). Oh, brothers and sisters, the awaiting emancipation of such trusting surrender!" - Neal A. Maxwell Encircled in the Arms of His Love

"Whatever will come our way

Through fire or pouring rain

We won't be shaken

Whatever tomorrow brings

Together we'll rise and sing

That we won't be shaken"

by, Building 429

- Alicia :)

The Unmaking

Yesterday, I spent some time again listening to "God is the Gardner." Whenever I struggle to understand the moments in life that "cut me back" or cause my heart to ache, I appreciate the truths  found in these words:

"God is aware of you individually. He knows who you are and what you are, and, furthermore, He knows what you are capable of becoming. Be not discouraged, then, if you do not get all the things you want just when you want them. Have the courage to go on and face your life and, if necessary, reverse it to bring it into harmony with His law...  someday, when you are ripened in life, you are going to shout back across the time and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’" 

- Hugh B. Brown "God is the Gardener"

As I walked up to campus this afternoon, I scrolled through my Spotify songs to select a new favorite called, "The Unmaking". Listening to the lyrics, I couldn't help reflect on Hugh B. Brown's talk.  I felt the words to this song fit the principle of trusting in God's bigger picture.

I can't deny the hurt associated with being "cut down" or held back especially when it feels as if it goes against everything in my nature.  Denying such pain would be lying to myself.  Maybe I held my dreams too tightly? (or at least my interpretation of them...) Maybe as I stand back and lift my hands in surrender, my Father in Heaven will show me things I couldn't see before... At the ending is also a new beginning... and I'm learning that true beauty is found in the breaking. 

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" - Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4-5

God has His purposes and His seasons... and I trust Him, so I won't complain.  I praise Him for His infinite wisdom, even when it hurts.

"The Unmaking"

by, Nichole Nordeman

"This is the unmaking

The beauty and the breaking

Had to lose myself to find out who You are

Before each beginning

There must be an ending

Sitting in the rubble

I can see the stars

This is the unmaking

This is the unmaking

The longer and the tighter that we hold

Only makes it harder to let go

Love will not stay locked inside

A steeple or a tower high

Only when we're broken are we whole"

"I had to lose myself

To find out who You are"

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” - C.S. Lewis

-Alicia
Trying to be Good

Symbols of Surrender

In 3 Nephi Chapter 27, the Savior speaks a great deal about baptism.  I love the imagery of surrendering our whole souls to God as one is baptized.  I've been thinking a great deal about other places where we find symbols of surrender.

In 3 Nephi 24, the Savior quotes Malachi 3 when He invites the multitude to be refined and purified through Him like silver and purged as gold.  In verse 10, He testifies of tithes and offerings. (Hearing this, I also think of fasting.) Personally trusting and acting upon these truths are symbols of surrender.

The Savior laying prostrate on the ground as He prayed in Gethsemane pouring out blood and soul, both there and on the cross; bruised, broken, and torn for us, is a beautiful symbol of the most humble surrender. Matt 26:36-46 Matt 27:32-56

Where else in the scriptures can we see these symbols?  Do we see other symbols of surrender in the Temple besides just baptism?

In the Conference Report of October 1966 President Howard W. Hunter said,
 "One of the great writers has penned: 'Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul; we may preserve it in the midst of the bitterest pain, if our will remains firm and submissive. Peace in this life springs from acquiescence, not in an exemption from suffering.' (Fenelon.)

Emerson wrote: 'Nothing can bring you peace but yourself; nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.' (Essay, 'Self-Reliance.') These principles are incorporated into the gospel of Jesus Christ. Indifference to the Savior or failure to keep the commandments of God brings about insecurity, inner turmoil, and contention. These are the opposite of peace. Peace can come to an individual only by an unconditional surrender—surrender to him who is the Prince of peace (Isa. 9:6), who has the power to confer peace."

Interesting that there is the pattern again about how to find rest and peace to our soul.
...Just some things I'll be thinking about today.

-Alicia