The Book of Mormon

I just want to testify of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.  I know that it was written and prepared for our day.  These are the times where we will see  great gatherings and separations.  We will witness for ourselves the signs fulfilled and foretold by ancient and modern prophets.  One of the most outstanding themes in the Book of Mormon is how the Lord uses prophets to speak in His name, to invite people to come unto Him, to call them to repent, and exhort them to believe and follow Christ.  I know the Lord has called prophets today!!  How incredibly thankful I am for them!!  They have given us sufficient counsel for us to make the Book of Mormon a life-long study.  If we do so with an open heart and a willing mind, applying the doctrines in our behavior, we will witness miracles.  We will draw closer to God and through our example help others draw closer too.
-Alicia

.......

"Unless we are “continually holding fast”7 to the word of God and living it, we will become spiritually blinded rather than spiritually minded. Search the Book of Mormon and the words of the living prophets every day, every day, every day! It’s the key to spiritual survival and avoiding deception. Without it, we are spiritually lost".
- Elder Kevin W. Pearson (Stay by the Tree)

"There is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book. You will find greater power to resist temptation. You will find the power to avoid deception. You will find the power to stay on the strait and narrow path. The scriptures are called 'the words of life' (D&C 84:85), and nowhere is that more true than it is of the Book of Mormon. When you begin to hunger and thirst after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance."
-President Ezra Taft Benson

“I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness” (Ensign, May 1980, p. 67).
- President Marion G. Romney

“I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures the distance narrows and the spirituality returns. I find myself loving more intensely those whom I must love with all my heart and mind and strength, and loving them more, I find it easier to abide their counsel.”
 - Spencer W. Kimball

“I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.” 
- Joseph Smith (History of the Church, 4:461.)

Firm in the Faith

"There was a flood, 

And many poor men were killed.  

And that is why 

Our house is built on the top of a hill." 

- Neil Diamond "I Am the Lion"

The nostalgic sweet sound of the "Tap Root Manuscript Album" entertained my children as they played and cleaned up dishes.  I sat in the corner of the kitchen only partially focused on my finance homework.  My mind kept drifting to memories of a younger me cleaning the house while dancing and singing to the very same music. I could see it was having an equivalent effect on my daughter, Kaylee, by the flare of playfulness accentuating and enlivening her movements as she worked.  I laughed to myself as I thought, "There are two types of people in the world, those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't,"
...I happen to love him!!

My daughter giggled as she danced and said, "Mommy, play that 'Hey Hey' song again." I smiled because that's how I remembered it too.  We must have listened to it a good six or seven times over. The words about a flood and a house on the top of the hill caused me to reflect back to another song from my formative years, "The wise man built his house upon a rock... and the house on the rock stood firm."

I read the word "firm" in my scripture study this morning.  After the Lamanite people of Ammon were converted and joined with the Nephites in the land of Jershon, and after they had "buried their weapons of war" it says in Alma 27:27 that they were "distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men;  for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end."

What does it mean to be "firm?"
"fixed, settled, determined, steadfast, unyielding, unalterable"

I searched for the word "firm" in the Book of Mormon and found that every time it was referenced in the context of righteousness.  I noticed that it was often related to faith through mind, heart, or action.

Try plugging in the synonyms of firm into these scriptures...  It's pretty cool!

1 Nephi 2 "firm and steadfast, and immovable"
Jacob 3:1,2 "firmness of mind"
Jacob 4:18 "firmness in the spirit"
Alma 24:19 "They were firm"
Alma 27:27 "Firm in the faith"
Alma 29:4 "Firm decree of a just God"
Alma 34:41 "Firm hope"
Alma 48:13 "Firm in the faith"
Alma 49:13 "Firm determination"
Alma 57:19-20, 27 "Firm before their enemies" "Firm and undaunted" "their minds are firm"
Helaman 6:1 "firmness and steadiness in the faith"
Helaman 7:7 "Firm to keep the commandments of God"
Helaman 15:8, 10 "Firm and steadfast in the faith" "Their firmness when they are once enlightened"
3 Nephi 6:14 "They were firm"
Mormon 2: 25 "We did stand before them with such firmness"
Mormon 9:28 "ask [God] with a firmness unshaken"
Moroni 7: 30 "a firm mind in every form of godliness"

I thoroughly enjoy expanding scriptures in my mind like this. I testify of the sweet truths found therein!.  I hope to inspire others to do the same.

Now, you're probably wondering how on earth I started out from a verse of Neil Diamond to verses in the Book of Mormon... and I kinda wonder about that myself... Oh well.

 I'll tell you this though... I'm no "Holly Holy" but I guess you could "Say Maybe" that through my blog, I have my own little "Traveling Salvation Show" - Only difference is, you don't need to call me "Sister Love" or "pack up the babies and grab the old ladies"...

Although...I kinda like the sound of "Sister Love." ;)

-Alicia

Align My Voyage

I love discovering new music!  This one is really cool as I think of the theme for the youth this year, "Embark."  Praise to our fore-bearers who paved the way and set the course!  There is truly nothing to fear as we set foot on The Good Ship Zion for I know the Lord is the Captain here.  

- Alicia

"Captain"

by, Hillsong United

Through waters uncharted my soul will embark

I'll follow Your voice straight into the dark

And if from the course You intend

I depart

Speak to the sails of my wandering heart

Like the wind

You'll guide

Clear the skies before me

And I'll glide this open sea

Like the stars

Your Word

Will align my voyage

And remind me where I've been

And where I am going

Lost in the shallows amidst fear and fog

Your truth is the compass that points me back north

Jesus

My Captain

My soul's trusted Lord

All my allegiance is rightfully Yours

Like the wind

You'll guide

Clear the skies before me

And I'll glide this open sea

Like the stars

Your Word

Will align my voyage

And remind me where I've been

And where I am going

Like the wind

You'll guide

Clear the skies before me

And I'll glide this open sea

Like the stars

Your Word

Will align my voyage

And remind me where I've been

And where I am going

Jesus

My Captain

My soul's trusted Lord

All my allegiance is rightfully Yours

"When we join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we board the Good Ship Zion and sail with her wherever she goes until she comes into that millennial port. We stay in the boat, through squalls and stills, through storms and sunburn, because that is the only way to the promised land. This Church is the Lord’s vehicle for crucial doctrines, ordinances, covenants, and keys that are essential to exaltation, and one cannot be fully faithful to the gospel of Jesus Christ without striving to be faithful in the Church, which is its earthly institutional manifestation. To new convert and longtime member alike, we declare in the spirit of Nephi’s powerful valedictory exhortation: 'Ye have entered in by the gate; … [but] now, … after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; … press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, … and endure to the end, behold, thus … ye shall have eternal life.' 2 Ne. 31:18–20" - Jeffrey R. Holland

Focal Point

"The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light." - 3 Nephi 13:22

What does it mean for our eye to be single?
 I believe the answer is illustrated in various settings of our lives.

On the stage of our social arenas, it can be tempting to pander to the people or hide behind the curtains in fear of them.  But if our "eye is single" to the glory of God,  we won't be concerned with audiences but rather with alleluias.  We will remember always that "whatsoever [we] do, [to] do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men"- Colossians 3:23.  

We see this same doctrine echoed in 3 Nephi 13:1-2 and Matthew 6:1-2  We are warned to "take heed that [we] do not [our] alms before men to be seen of them" to "not sound a trumpet" or announce our good works for everyone to hear.

"Latter-day Saints whose eyes are single to God’s glory see life from a vastly different perspective than those whose attention is directed elsewhere. Such members, for instance, care little about receiving credit or recognition for their good deeds. They are more interested in feeding the Lord’s sheep than in counting them. In fact, they frequently find their greatest happiness in serving anonymously, thereby leaving the beneficiaries of their kindness with no one to thank or praise except the Lord." - Marlin K. Jensen

Henry Drummond taught, "Love more persons more -- love them more impersonally, more unselfishly, without thought of return. The return, never fear, will take care of itself." - Henry Drummond

I love that, "without thought of return."  Again I say, this all stems from the fact that we are not concerned with audiences but rather with alleluias. Think of how freeing it is to never have it cross our mind whether people notice us, to never "worry" about being loved, admired, or adored.  The Creator of the Universe already loves, admires, and adores us!!  Shouldn't that be sufficient?!! It should be and it should also be very sobering... because we are "less than the dust of the earth."

Another setting for our "eye to be single" could be in times of trouble, sorrow, difficulty, or struggle.  I imagine Peter attempting to walk on the water, stepping out in faith and miraculously making his way to the Savior.  As long as he had his eyes fixed on the Lord, wholly, completely, and decidedly, Peter's steps were stable and secure ... But when he took his focus off Christ, "he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me." - Matthew 14:30

We must not fear but rather persevere through the storms, no matter how threatening the winds and the waves may become. We must keep our eyes fixed on Him trusting completely with our mind, heart, and actions that He is mighty to save.

Christ has taught that in Him we shall "find rest to [our] souls." He said, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin." - 3 Nephi 13:28

When our lives are centered on the Savior, "the light of the world," when He is the focal point in all we say and do, our "whole body shall be full of  light" and we will have peace!  It will be as shining rays of hope in the darkest of nights, filling and illuminating our souls and the souls of all who partake of it.  No man can rob it from us, elements of sea or earth cannot destroy it, and prison cells cannot bar it's presence, for it is not of this world.  This peace "is a treasure in heaven,[brighter than the sun] where moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal." - 3 Nephi 13:19-20  

-Alicia

Thank You for Cutting Me Down

I've been listening to one of my favorite talks by Hugh B. Brown, "God is the Gardener."  I bought a copy of it on CD from Deseret Book a few months after my husband and I were married.

 During these last couple of weeks, I've played this talk several times over.  My boy, Micah, loves it when I play it and always stops whatever he is doing and curls up next to the speakers to listen.  (It's really sweet and tugs on my heart as a mother. He's such a great kid.)  He knows how to recognize a good thing.  This talk is classic!!   I am sure that it's loved by so many in the Church because it resonates so well with our experiences in life that "bring us low" or shake us up.  I am truly thankful the for the moments in my life where I have been "cut down." I'm so thankful to know that I have a Father in Heaven who "loves me enough to hurt me."  He knows who I am to become.  I trust the Gardner!

"God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble. Alma said, “Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.” (Alma 32:16)

Let us choose to be humble. " - President Ezra Taft Benson "Beware of Pride"

"Sixty-odd years ago I was on a farm in Canada. I had purchased the farm from another who had been somewhat careless in keeping it up. I went out one morning and found a currant bush that was at least six feet high. I knew that it was going all to wood. There was no sign of blossom or of fruit. I had had some experience in pruning trees before we left Salt Lake to go to Canada, as my father had a fruit farm. So I got my pruning shears and went to work on that currant bush, and I clipped it and cut it and cut it down until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps.

And as I looked at them, I yielded to an impulse, which I often have, to talk with inanimate things and have them talk to me. It’s a ridiculous habit. It’s one I can’t overcome. As I looked at this little clump of stumps, there seemed to be a tear on each one, and I said, “What’s the matter, currant bush? What are you crying about?”

And I thought I heard that currant bush speak. It seemed to say, “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as large as the fruit tree and the shade tree, and now you have cut me down. And all in the garden will look upon me with contempt and pity. How could you do it? I thought you were the gardener here.”

I thought I heard that from the currant bush. I thought it so much that I answered it.

I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. If I let you go the way you want to go, you will never amount to anything. But someday, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to think back and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’” - Hugh B. Brown "God is the Gardener"

And here is the testimony that I love. I add my witness to this.  God is good, so very, very good!

"God is aware of you individually. He knows who you are and what you are, and, furthermore, He knows what you are capable of becoming. Be not discouraged, then, if you do not get all the things you want just when you want them. Have the courage to go on and face your life and, if necessary, reverse it to bring it into harmony with His law...  someday, when you are ripened in life, you are going to shout back across the time and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’" 

- Hugh B. Brown "God is the Gardener"

-Alicia

Music Video Flashback - So FUN!

Thinking of my two older kids going to trek this week reminds of when Joseph and I went with my parents to push a handcart in 2004.  Chandler and Miriam were just babies.  You'll see Martin's Cove in a couple of scenes. This was a video highlighting our events of 2004.  I can't believe how much kids change in such a short amount of time, it's so fun!  I miss my little babe-ers. Priceless, absolutely priceless!!!

Walk With Me

My two older children leave for Trek this week.  It's an opportunity for them to learn through personal experience a little about the early saints who sacrificed in unspeakable ways to push the work of the restored Gospel forward.  Our youth leaders have encouraged each of the kids attending to represent someone in their family history, find out their stories, and to "walk with them" during this journey.

There are two ancestors of mine who I would love for my son and daughter to "walk with" on their Trek.  The first is my 3rd great-grandfather, William Madison Wall.  Yesterday in church, an older brother from our ward spoke about him.  (William Wall was his great-grandfather.)  This brother and I have known for quite some time that we shared this ancestor and we often greet each other affectionately by "cousin."  As he told the stories, my children recognized that they were hearing their family story too.  It was a treat for us all.

It's kinda funny that here we are, living in the Provo 3rd Ward and this ancestor of mine once served as bishop of the Provo 3rd Ward.  William Wall's life growing up, how he found the gospel, and the incredible work he did to build Zion is very fascinating.  I intend some time to write more about his stories in a future post.

Micah, Chandler, Miriam, Me, and Kaylee with the statue of my 3rd great-grandfather
and my children's 4th great-grandfather looking down on us.
This memorial is in Heber City, Utah.
William Wall was in charge of building the Provo Canyon Road 
that connects Heber City to Utah Valley

A book about Wallsburg, the town named after my 3rd great-grandfather, William M. Wall.

...................

My grandma's sister, Sylvia, is the ancestor I'd love for my daughter to "walk with" on this trek.  Sylvia was one year younger than my grandma and although she never was a member of the church, she had deep faith in God and a profound love for the Bible.

Last year in the middle of the night, on my son Micah's birthday,  I awoke from a terrible nightmare. I dreamed I was in some sort of a concentration camp with him and he kept asking where the rest of our family was.  I didn't know but I promised him that we would be reunited soon.  He curled up on the ground and shivered from fear.  There was a chill in the air as dark ominous clouds loomed toward us.  In an attempt to calm him, I wrapped my entire body around his and hugged as tight as I could until I could feel his shivering stop.  In comforting words I said, "Micah, it's going to be alright.  Remember what I have always told you! 'There are a million ways to die and only one way to live'... We have followed that 'one way' to live and we will be okay.  We will be okay."

When my parents came to visit later that day for his birthday, I told my mom about my strange dream.  She responded, "Did you know my aunt was in a concentration camp with her two sons?"
"What?  Really? When!?
"During World War 2... she and her husband went as Christian missionaries to the Dutch East Indies (which is now Indonesia)  and they were taken captive by the Japanese Imperial Army.  She and her two sons survived.  Tragically, her husband did not."

Yesterday, my mom brought over a copy of my Aunt Sylvia's story.  I was so excited to finally have her words in my hands!  "She illustrated this picture on the front," my mom said pointing to the cover page.  "She was an artist like you."
Wow, what a treasure, I thought to myself.  I've read a few chapters already since yesterday and I plan to use these stories for our family home evening lesson tonight.  I will share more about her too in my future posts.

Photo from one of the men's concentration camps. 

Photo from one of the women and children's concentration camps.

As we come to learn more about the journeys of those who have gone before,
We in a sense "walk with them."
And I know that someday... as we look back on our own journey,
We will realize just how often they were literally "walking with us."

-Alicia

A Righteous Patriarch

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." - The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Somewhere between 1969 and 1970 my father-in-law was assigned to work artillery in Vietnam.  He left behind his wife and baby to fulfill his military duty.  One night while sleeping in his cot, he was awakened by a powerful impression to "get out of bed."  He sat straight up and then wondered what on earth he was doing. He shook his head and began to lay back down.  But before he could, the impression came again;  This time it seemed as if it was almost shouting for him to not just sit up but to GET OUT of his bed. Immediately he jumped out of his cot and fell to his knees at his bedside.  No sooner than he did so, a chunk of shrapnel, the size of a tennis ball, came blazing through the tent roof, right through the center of his cot and embedded itself inches into the ground below.  Had he not moved when he did, no doubt he would have been killed.

Just over three years after that experience (now the father of four), my father-in-law had the impression to finish his schooling in Wales and become a professional genealogist.  Much of his ancestry was in Wales and it would be a perfect opportunity for study.  He knew the Lord was giving him specific direction in his life, so he and his wife packed everything up along with their four kids and bought six one-way tickets to another country... even though he had not been accepted to the school yet.  How could he have followed an impression to pack up like that not even knowing if the University was going to take him?  It was pure, absolute faith. The day before the flight was scheduled to take off, his acceptance letter for the school in Wales finally came in the mail.

Conditions were difficult in that foreign place.  The little house they moved into didn't have heating or a refrigerator.  Winters were rough.  My mother-in-law had to walk to the markets to buy fresh food every-day with all her little ones in toe.  She bore two more little ones while living in that country (my husband being one of them) and when my father-in-law finished his schooling they returned to the United States with six children.

It took incredible faith and courage for both of my husband's parents to do what they did.

Living by the Spirit and acting on faith is a defining characteristic of my father-in-law. He studies the scriptures deeply, he seeks for guidance prayerfully, he listens and then he acts!  No fear! I love and admire him with all of my heart.

Ever since I joined this family he has treated me like one of his daughters. (He has seven girls and two boys.)  I was his only daughter-in-law for over ten years but you'd never guess I was part of his family by marriage alone.  By the way he treats me, you'd think I was one of his very own girls.  I absolutely adore him!

I've been so impressed at how he has righteously presided over his household through the years. And even though his children are grown and gone, living in different states, he almost annually gathers us all together to teach us.  He expounds from the scriptures and the words of the living prophets and bears personal testimony.  He desires to prepare us for the things which are to come in these last days.

This first week of July was a reunion week for my husband's family.  We played on wave-runners at the lake, zip-lined in Park City, made up family skits and entertained one another on a stage in the canyons. The kids had cousin sleep-overs every-single night.  It's was exhausting but totally awesome!  I've never witnessed a family so tightly knit, especially one this large.  I thoroughly enjoy my husband's reunions! The highlight of this one for me was a very special gathering with my father-in-law, his kids, and the in-laws.  We had almost all 18 of us children there as we listened to his counsel.  He spoke for over an hour teaching, expounding scripture, and sharing his testimony.

My father-in-law feels as if this fall we will witness things unravel for good and ill in astonishing ways and he has felt an urgency to prepare his family. With the way he has learned to live by the Spirit, I believe him.  As a family, we counseled about a couple of the missing siblings who have denied the faith and decided to have a special fast together on their behalf.  We also prayed for special blessings to be bestowed upon each of our own families, our marriages, and our children.  We ended the evening opening our fast with this wonderful family prayer. The feeling was amazing as we all knelt together in the small little church room of my in-law's ward building.  Tears were streaming down each of our faces and we all took turns embracing and expressing gratitude for one another.

I wish every family could have a father like my husband's.  He truly "presides in love and righteousness!"  He's deeply humble and completely unassuming (two attributes I treasure in both him and my husband.)  I feel so blessed to be a part of his family!

-Alicia

Celebrating 7 Years!

 Kaylee 2 days old

Today, we celebrated my youngest child's birthday.  I had Kaylee just two weeks after moving into the little apartment we live in now.  It seems like yesterday.  What a joy Kaylee has been in our life!  She is my most affectionate one.  When she gives hugs and kisses, she gives them with all the energy of her entire heart and soul.  Watch out boys!  ;)

Even when she was just a couple of weeks old, we were at a park somewhere and I was snuggling her tiny little new-born body when a woman approached me, "Wow!  I've never seen that before." she said, gesturing to me and Kaylee.

"Seen what?" I asked her, "You mean a mother hugging and loving her little baby??"

"No, I've seen mothers with babies but I have never seen the love so strong.  It's beautiful," the woman said.

I've thought about that encounter many times since then and have wondered what was so out of the ordinary to cause that woman to stop and approach me.... As I've come to know Kaylee through these last seven years and have observed her passionate little soul, I realize now what the woman was recognizing that day.  She wasn't seeing "a mother hugging and loving her baby."  She was seeing a tiny little two-week-old baby hugging and loving her mother tightly back.  I am sure of it!

What a joy Kaylee has been in our lives.  Her names means "pure" and that's exactly how she loves!

-Alicia

Carry On

It's hard to describe all of the self-reflection and roller-coaster of emotions life can bring.  I find solace and connection in music. The Christian-themed type probably fills my library the most but there's a little bit of country that resides in my heart too.  Somehow, I can't turn down a good folk-sounding song that has a tinge of banjo.

I love listening to this one. It has a great sound and it sort-of  matches how I feel at this place in my life.

One foot in front of the other....
and I always find a way to carry on.

"In The Morrow"

by, Brandi Carlile

I found myself today 

I took my cross up and walked away 

With amazing grace and open eyes 

Even though I'm born to lose my way 

Tomorrow comes on a hurricane 

When the weight of the world is on your mind 

In the morrow I'll be gone 

I gave it everything I had for so long 

Save your sorrow for your song 

Don't we always find a way to carry on 

No one sees it coming 

And no one walks when they should've been running 

Nothing hurts like knowing you tried 

And we can see how years can slip away 

In the cold dark nights and the long hard days 

But nothing aches quite like goodbye 

In the morrow I'll be gone 

I gave it everything I had for so long 

Save your sorrow for your song 

Don't we always find a way to carry on 

Appointment Reminder

Do you ever get those appointment reminders on your phone from your doctor or dentist?  You know those texts that come in telling you the exact time of day you are scheduled to meet with him. They're nice to get because life can be hectic and those little reminders help us to plan ahead.

Wouldn't it be nice if we knew when our scheduled time was to meet with God?

Although we may not know when that day or hour will be, we have been told what we should do in the meantime.  We have the opportunity to plan ahead.  Alma taught that there is "a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state;a time to prepare to meet God" (Alma 12:24) We would do well to "search our heart" while in this life for God knows it.

As to matters of the heart, let me interject for a moment with a story:
Paul Cardall is a very talented and successful musician, a beautiful pianist. Paul was born in 1973 with Congenital Heart Disease and had only one working ventricle.  He was expected to live a few days after his birth but instead lived into adulthood. For most of his growing-up-years, he lived quite a normal and healthy life. Then in 2008, his one working ventricle began to decline rapidly and he was listed for a transplant.  As he waited for a donor to provide him with a new heart, he started writing a blog called "Living for Eden" named after his daughter, Eden.  I followed his blog through this struggle and was constantly inspired by his wisdom and his unique outlook.

 I remember one particular blog post, he said that he viewed his situation as a blessing, a wonderful gift!  He said that he wished more people had the opportunity to face the prospect of death everyday.  The paradox of this outlook was that it allowed him to appreciate life more, to be grateful for the smallest things.  It helped him to keep his thoughts and his actions in line with the Savior because he was in a constant state of preparation to meet Him.

Most of us are not faced with a life-threatening disease like Paul was.  We have not been given an expected time of death by our physician.  Life just keeps happening for us and dying is not something we think much about, not for ourselves at least.  But what if it was tomorrow?  What if this was our last day on earth?  Would we see things differently?  Would we soak up the little things more, like being able to walk or run and breathe fresh air?  Would we take the time to show our children that they mean everything to us?  Would we show a little more affection and appreciation to our spouse?  Would we be slow to anger, slow to judge, and quick to forgive or assume the best in others?

Alma also teaches that "It was appointed unto men that they must die" - Alma 12:27  We have an appointment!  We just don't know when or where that appointment will be and we most likely won't get a pop-up reminder on our phone. But I believe God in his mercy has given us "appointment reminders." They're called the scriptures!  We have this time to prepare.  What does it say in Alma 12:24?  How do we prepare?

We repent!

The Bible Dictionary describes repentance as the following: "The Greek word of which this is the translation denotes a change of mind, a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world. Since we are born into conditions of mortality, repentance comes to mean a turning of the heart and will to God, and a renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined."

I love this!  I love that repentance means a "change of heart" a new heart.  We all suffer from "spiritual heart disease" it's absolutely fatal and we realize that our life is on the line!  We need a transplant and thankfully the Lord is our "donor" - he laid down His life for us that we might have this "new heart" we are in such desperate need of.

He said, "A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.  And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them." -(Ezekiel 36:26-27)

Paul finally received his new heart after waiting 385 days and he is vibrant and alive as ever today.  But what a blessing those 385 days were! What wisdom instilled upon his soul as appreciation for his life and the life of his family became his daily reflection.  He was given a fresh view about God, about himself, and about the world around him.

 The reality is, we don't know when our last day on earth will be.  And maybe it's best that we don't know because maybe we would "procrastinate the day of our repentance." Maybe instead we should anticipate our "appointment to die" like Paul did - every day!  And by doing so, we might experience a change of heart and have a fresh view too.

May we have eyes to see clearly, to focus on the beauties and wonders all around us.  What a gift we have to be alive! We are so blessed.  If today was our last day, would we be more grateful for what we have?

We would all do well to take the advice of President Hinckley and "stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort... turn from the negativism that so permeates our culture and look for the remarkable good in the land and times in which we live; that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults: that optimism replace pessimism; that uncertainty and worry be pushed aside by an enduring feeling of hope."

There's my appointment reminder for the day.
-Alicia

Living Up to the Name

In Young Women's last Sunday, Sister Taylor gave a wonderful lesson. She started out by going around the room and asking the girls what each of their names meant.  It was fun to hear all of the girls share their stories.

 My daughter explained that her first name was after the sister of Moses and also the Hebrew version of Mary.  In the Bible Dictionary, Miriam means "exalted."  Miriam's middle name is McKay, named after President David O. McKay because he was the prophet at the time my mom joined the Church, and it serves as a reminder for her to always follow the words of the living prophets.  My first name, Alicia, means "noble, queenly, or truthful" and my middle name is the same as my mom's middle name which was given to remember Ruth in the Bible.  Ruth means "friend" because of the loyalty she showed to her mother-in-law after they both became widows.  "And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God."- Ruth 1:16

A name is powerful! In a flash, it can conjure up images, stories, memories, experiences, or lessons. It is how we identify, honor, remember, and respect people, places, and things.

Helaman, an ancient Book of Mormon prophet, intentionally named his sons Nephi and Lehi for specific reasons.  He said to them, "Behold, I have given unto you the names of our first parents who came out of the land of Jerusalem; and this I have done that when you remember your names ye may remember them; and when ye remember them ye may remember their works; and when ye remember their works ye may know how that it is said, and also written, that they were good.
Therefore, my sons, I would that ye should do that which is good, that it may be said of you, and also written, even as it has been said and written of them." - Helaman 5:6,7

Helaman wanted his sons to remember these great men the same as we want our children to remember those who they are named after.  He knew the names of Nephi and Lehi would impress upon their minds a remembrance of those who were of great faith, those who were willing to follow whatsoever the Lord commanded them, to be witnesses of Christ, to bear testimony and preach the Gospel to a hardened people, to leave behind everything they had and "step out into the unknown" with full unflinching trust in God.  Generations through time and eternity would remember those men.  Their stories were written down, and what was recorded on earth was also sealed in heaven. (D&C 127:7)

So a key purpose for Helaman naming his sons after the first Nephi and Lehi was to serve as a reminder to do good and to be good, that it could ALSO be written and recorded of his sons that they had "lived up to the names" they were given.  As parents, we have the same desire. We want our children to take pride in their names, to remember their heritage, and live up to those who have gone before.

But, about that "taking pride in."  I find the next few verses very interesting:

"And now my sons, behold I have somewhat more to desire of you, which desire is, that ye may not do these things that ye may boast, but that ye may do these things to lay up for yourselves a treasure in heaven" (Helaman 5:8)

Why was there a concern that this could end up being something they could potentially become prideful about?  Because, isn't it true that when we "do good" and it is noticed, recorded or said of us that we "are good," that we have a natural tendency to start focusing on "how good we are?"

In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis gives a perfect illustration of this: The Satan figure, Uncle Screwtape, is teaching his nephew, Wormwood, how to destroy a Christian;

"Your patient has become humble; have you drawn his attention to the fact? All virtues are less formidable to us once the man is aware that he has them, but this is especially true of humility. Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, 'By jove! I’m being humble', and almost immediately pride—pride at his own humility—will appear. If he awakes to the danger and tries to smother this new form of pride, make him proud of his attempt—and so on, through as many stages as you please"

Helaman understood this "natural man" tendency, to become focused on all the good that we do.
Note that in the next verse he counsels,"O remember, remember, my sons, the words which King Benjamin spake unto his people" (Helaman 5:9)

He brings them back to the words of King Benjamin.
And what was it that he taught?

He said:
"I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness and His goodness.... and humble yourselves... calling on the name of the Lord daily." (Mosiah 4:11)  "There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ." (Mosiah 5:8.)

No matter how incredible those men and women were that we are named after or that we name our children after...
No matter all the good that was written or spoken of them...
No matter all the good that might be written or spoken of us...
No matter how well we may live up to their name, as good and honorable as that may be...
We must always remember that there is only One who is truly wholly good and that Salvation is only "in and through [His name] the name of Christ." (Mosiah 3:17)

This was the lesson Helaman was trying to teach to his sons.  It is a lesson for all of us.  I was grateful when Sister Taylor  brought her Sunday lesson around and focused it on our covenant at baptism, to take upon ourselves Christ's name.

Every Sunday we renew this covenant as we partake of the sacrament.
I must ask myself...
How am I doing throughout the week?  What is my intent?  Am I concerned about people remembering me, noticing me, and seeing the good that I do?
Or... am I focused on my covenant to remember Him and help others do the same?
How do I live up to the most important Name I will ever take upon myself?

I testify that God loves us. There is none that is greater than He. (1 John 4:4) When He is our focus, when we live up to His name, we will find the greatest treasures in Heaven.
-Alicia

Master Teachers

A few months ago, I took my children on a field trip to the Monte L. Bean museum up on the north end of  BYU's campus.  They had a new display there to honor the life of President Boyd K. Packer.

 I walked alongside the glass encased memories and photographs frozen in time.  A powerful spirit filled the room.  My six-year-old daughter clung to my side and followed my steps as I occasionally lifted her so she could get a better view.  My heart was full and I was inspired as I reflected on of a life well lived and anchored in truth.  I was in awe of the numerous sculptures and paintings so skillfully made by the hands of this incredibly gifted man.  Each piece was evidence of one who truly rejoiced in the beauty and majesty of God's creations.

Then I noticed, in the center of the room, a display that illustrated President Packer's most defining and admirable gift - his deep love for the scriptures! There lay open a ragged and worn Book of Mormon from his days in the military.  It was heavily marked with red pencil and notations crammed within its margins, evidence of his love for this sacred text.

I returned to the museum yesterday with my children to look at his scriptures again.  This time I paid closer attention to what part in the Book of Mormon they were opened to.  I was excited to see that it was Alma 34 (a section of the reading my religion class is reviewing.) The word "PRAY" was written in big bold letters in the column along side verses 18-27 as if to give a hearty "amen" to Amulek's testimony.

I gazed upon the open verses and pondered on the two simple yet vital themes I had already chosen to write about.  There they were before me in this artifact like a picture that tells a thousand words - they illustrated a lifetime of "effectual prayer" and "internalizing scripture."  Tears of gratitude welled in my eyes for the truth so evidently treasured by this apostle of God.  He was undoubtedly a man of deep prayer.  He also knew what it meant to internalize the word, to have the word engraved upon his heart - and he was definitely a master at teaching it.

President Packer once taught,  “True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.”  (Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, Nov 1986)

Alma was also a master teacher and understood how true doctrine changes us. He compared "the word unto a seed"¹ and promised that if we "give place”² for it in the soil of our hearts, if we "nourish it with much care³...  looking forward with an eye of faith,"⁴ it will grow into the very "Tree of Life."⁵  We will gain understanding⁶ and discernment.⁷  We will "reap the rewards of [our] faith, and [our] diligence, and patience, and long-suffering"⁸ and we will harvest the most precious and pure fruit,⁹ we will feast on "light!"¹⁰

When the word of God is internalized, when it becomes engraved upon our hearts, it changes us.  This is where conversion or transformation begins,¹¹ this leads us to Christ. All throughout Alma 30 -63 we see the evidence of the power of the word. "It had more...powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else."¹² Alma also compared it to a compass and testified that it will "show... the course which [we] should travel"¹³ in this wilderness of life.  It will lead us to peace and prosperity.¹⁴

Even and especially through times of war - What was it that was guarded so closely?  What was to be "written and sent forth among the children of men... kept sacred, and handed down from one generation to another?"¹⁵ It was scripture!

The other powerful theme emphasized in these chapters was "effectual prayer," that great eternal companion to effective scripture study and opening the windows of heaven. Amulek taught that we must "call upon [God's] holy name."¹⁶  He taught that we "must pour out [our] souls"... to have our "hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto Him continually."¹⁷  When Alma is blessing and instructing his sons, he tells Helaman, "Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord... counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord... and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God."¹⁸  Helaman believed his father's words and followed his wise instruction.¹⁹ As a result, he went on to lead a powerful army of 2,000 warriors who were miraculously delivered because they "did pour out [their] souls in prayer to God."²⁰

Everyday we make a choice whether or not to pray sincerely and internalize God’s word in our hearts.  Life is a battle field.  We consciously decide if we are going to wield the "sword of truth." ²¹  What do we treasure?  What do we value?

President Packer wisely taught, “Our lives are made up of thousands of everyday choices. Over the years these little choices will be bundled together and show clearly what we value.”

Clearly, he was a man who greatly valued the scriptures, one whose heart was "drawn out in prayer continually."²²  He was an ordinary man called of God, transformed, changed, converted, and centered on Christ.  We can all experience this for ourselves as we let the basic, simple, and repeated doctrines “sink deep into our hearts”²³ and become one with our very souls.  I know this is true!

-Alicia

Farewell to a master teacher.

Footnotes:
1-Alma 32:28
2-Alma 32:28
3-Alma 32:37
4-Alma 32:40
5-Alma 32:40,41
6-Alma 32:28
7-Alma 32:35
8-Alma 32:41
9-Alma 32:42
10-Alma 32:35
11-Alma 53:10
12-Alma 31:5
13-Alma 37:38,39,44,45
14-Alma 49:30
15-Alma 63:12,13
16-Alma 34:17
17-Alma 34:27
18-Alma 37:37
19-Alma 45:1
20-Alma 58:10
21-Hebrews 4:12
22-Alma 34:27
23-Enos 1:3

Three Things To Remember

In almost 70 years of life, my family finance professor has experienced his share of struggle, heartache, and loss.  In the midst of these adversities and through them, he has also witnessed "many mighty miracles."  One would never guess the fiery furnace he has been through by first glance. He has a joyful countenance and a contagious smile.  I believe his optimistic outlook stems from the hope that is within him, from a deep and abiding testimony in our Savior, Jesus Christ.  He begins and ends each semester teaching his students three things to remember:

..........

1. Life is hard... but you can do hard things.  With the help of the Lord, you can do anything He wants you to do.

2. When life doesn't go as planned, don't get frustrated... Make the best of it.  Most of the time, things don't go as planned.

3.  Things Take Time

..........

I appreciate my professor's wisdom.
-Alicia

Running to the One

This is a day to celebrate freedom!  Where do you find freedom?  

Every fourth of July, where I live, we have what is called a Freedom Run.  It's a 5K and 10K that sends the runners racing through the parade route straight through the heart of our city. 

 I've been watching these runners for 15 years now.  (Last year and this year, I've been one of those runners.) For me, getting up early to go jogging or exercising, is a spiritual experience. It's a time to reflect, an opportunity to prove to myself "mind over matter." It's a time for me to exhale, to let out all the pain, heartache, sorrow, or whatever emotions that are plaguing me. And then... I inhale hope, energy, faith, and a newness of life!!  

 I started running when I was going through a very difficult time, when I felt like I had absolutely no one to "run to" but God. I usually run alone and I enjoy it.  It's a time of communion for me, a time to pray in my heart. I like to plug in my head phones and listen to "focus music"  the kind of music that sets my mind and soul on truth, that reminds me who I am, and frees my spirit.

Lately I've been running with some friends of mine.  I've really appreciated spending time with them just deepening our bonds of friendship.  And I still believe it can be a time of communion, this "prayer time" that I enjoy.  This connection to heaven comes more easily when we have "focused conversation" when we set our subjects of talk on the things that matter most: those things that lift and inspire. the things that remind us of our true identity, the things that give us hope and direction.  Where afterward, we feel a greater desire to be closer to God.  

HE is who I RUN to...  I know God lives.  He is my truest friend.  In Him, I have hope, I have love. I have healing, I have understanding... In Him I have FREEDOM... In Him, have everything!

-Alicia

  

"Who I Am"

by, Blanca

Another voice, another choice

To listen to words somebody said

Another day

I replay

One too many doubts inside my head

Am I strong

Beautiful

Am I good enough

Do I belong

After all

That I’ve said and done

Is it real

When I feel

I don't measure up

Am I loved

I’m running to the One who knows me

Who made every part of me in His hands

I’m holding to the One who holds me

‘Cause I know whose I am, I know who I am

I am sure I am Yours

Turning down

Tuning out

Every single word

That caused me pain

Unashamed

And unafraid

‘Cause I believe You mean it when You say

I am strong

Beautiful

I am good enough

I belong

After all

‘Cause of what You've done

This is real

What I feel

No one made it up

I am loved

I am sure I am Yours

I know who I am

I am sure I am Yours

Fearfully

Wonderfully

Perfectly

You have made me

I’m running to the One who knows me

I’m holding to the One who holds me

I am sure I am Yours

And I know who I am

The Darker the Night, The Brighter the Stars

I don't really have much to write in my own words today.  I've been searching through talks by the Brethren this morning and have just tried to absorb it all.  I feel as if I do a lot of "talking the talk." I love to share what is in my heart, to share my testimony...  And I guess that's a good thing, as long as it's moving to my feet and I "walk the walk." Just absorbing the words from the Brethren this morning fills me with so much gratitude for the Priesthood leadership and guidance that is available to us in this Church.  I know it comes from a very loving Father.

Here in this glorious Gospel, there are baskets full and overflowing with the doctrines and principles that will set us free. These wonderful fruits of light and truth come in such abundance that there is "not room enough to receive it." I am grateful to be able to feast and be filled, to know and be known, to pray and be heard, to learn and to feel loved.  God is good and I am happy.

-Alicia

Here's a portion of a talk I soaked up this morning:

Opposition Reveals the Truth
Tasting the Light by, Elder Lynn G. Robbins

"We are taught in 2 Nephi 2 that there “must needs be … an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). Humankind “taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good” (Moses 6:55). Health, for example, is primarily the study of its opposite, sickness and disease; freedom, the study of oppression and slavery; happiness, the study of sorrow; and so on. And like the tiny miracle of fireflies, light goes unappreciated without a dark backdrop.

Opposition is indispensable to our education and happiness. Without opposition, the truth remains hidden in plain view, like taking air for granted until the moment you are gasping for it. Because the Light of Christ is ever-present, many people don’t notice the Spirit in their life, like those Lamanites in 3 Nephi 9:20 who “were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not.”

Opposition not only reveals or unveils the truth but manifests its inherent power, joy, and sweetness. For example, it took a taste of the bitter life for the prodigal son to realize what a sweet life he had abandoned back home and had taken for granted in his youth.

It is only through pain and sickness that we come to value our health. As a victim of dishonesty, we treasure integrity. Experiencing injustice or cruelty, we cherish love and kindness—all with a “perfect knowledge,” having tasted the fruit of each by the light which is in us. The perfect knowledge comes fruit by fruit, through opposition in all things. Obedience to God’s commandments promises ultimate happiness, growth, and progress through opposition, not bypassing it. “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” -African Proverb

Consider this insightful statement from the Prophet Joseph Smith: “By proving contraries, truth is made manifest.” 

And this one from Brigham Young: “All facts are proved and made manifest by their opposite.” 

Walk Uprightly Before God

We live in a time where the battles we face are coming from every possible front: economic upheaval, wars and rumors of wars, despair, depression, divisions and dissensions within the church / persecutions without, insurrections and corruption in governments, broken homes and families, marriages torn-apart, natural disasters, and "natural -man" disasters sweeping like an immoral Tsunami through our communities.  And the enemy is not anywhere near backing down, in fact, he's bearing down...  he's packing sucker-punches with grisly fatal blows and we need to be prepared and be on guard.

Who will have the strength to not only "withstand the evil day" and endure this great thrashing but who will "come off conqueror" and "be true" through it all?

During Biblical times a threshing floor was a place where sheaves of wheat were heavily beaten to break apart the true grain from the husk (or tare).  "After the threshing process, the stalks and grain were thrown up into the air so that the wind might blow the unwanted chaff away and leave the valuable kernels." (learnthebible.org)  It's through this beating and tossing that the "true grain" is gathered.

In the Book of Mormon we read of horrible prolonged battles, the kind that would beat and thrash down the bravest and strongest of souls.  The last twenty chapters of Alma describe such battles and as one searches among their ruins, they can see very clearly who was "true through it all."

Helaman, commander of the Nephite army, describes his band of brave young soldiers as being ones who were "exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity... who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted." He states that they were "men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before Him." (Alma 53:20-21 emphasis added)

"Walk uprightly" are two words that stood out to me as I read that description.  They are repeated again in Alma 63:2 in the description of Shiblon, Helaman's brother:  "He was a just man and he did walk uprightly before God; and he did observe to do good continually, to keep the commandments of the Lord his God."

What does it mean to "walk uprightly"?  What images come to your mind?  Do you think of someone walking with confidence, without fear, unflinching, someone who can hold their head high?  Note that this kind of confidence isn't in the presence of just anyone; it says that they "walked uprightly before God."  That is significant. There are plenty of people who walk uprightly or confident in the presence of their peers... perhaps a little too confidently.

Confidence before God is not attained through the ways of the world.  No manner of elaborate dress, or fine pressed suit, no self-affirming talk or pepped-up cheer, no academic accolades or scholarly awards could endow one with the assurance necessary to be confident before God. Because in His presence, what is in our "inward vessel" will be revealed.  Isaiah teaches that our "countenance will witness against us" and Alma warns "our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence." (Alma 12:14)

So what is it then that instills confidence before God, this ability to "walk uprightly before Him"?

Let's look again at descriptions in the verses shared previously and see if we can find a pattern.

To Grow in Godly Confidence

(Alma 53:20-21)

• The stripling warriors "were true at all times"
• "They were men of truth and soberness" (Now “soberness” is an interesting word because we often refer to it in the scriptures as being genuine or sincere but I also believe it means being sober like a recovered alcoholic is considered sober.  I believe it means that these were men free from addiction. They were focused outward in love, not inward with indulgence.) - See D&C 121:45

(Alma 63:2)

• They "kept the commandments of God"
• Shiblon was a "just man" (which is another way of saying, he stuck with or treasured truth.)
• He "kept the commandments of God"

Seeing that these stripling warriors, these young men "were true at all times" reminds me of our modern-day Young Women's Theme, "We will stand as witnesses of God, at all times, in all things, and in all places."  THIS is what builds Godly confidence, being true to God's word, true to His commandments, purely and sincerely devoted to Him in "whatsoever thing we are entrusted" heart, mind, and action.  Here we can hold our heads high in the toughest battles and fiercest thrashings.  Here we can "walk uprightly before God" and "come off conqueror!"

-Alicia

Healing the Leper

With leprosy, bacteria attacks nerve endings and destroys the body's ability to feel. Without the sensation of feeling, people injure themselves on fire, thorns, rocks, even hot coffee cups. Injuries become infected and result in tissue loss. Fingers and toes become shortened and deformed as the cartilage is absorbed into the body. It can also result in difficulty breathing and poor vision.

When I read this definition of what leprosy is, I was surprised.  I always thought it was a skin condition not a nerve condition.  My husband even likes to joke around that he has "leprosy"when his skin is dry or peeling.   I suppose there are many people through time, even during the time of Christ, that have thought it was some sort of contagious skin condition.  But it's not, it's damage to the nerves, the ability to feel which leads to injury of the skin.  This made me think of the scripture in  1Ne. 17:45 where Nephi speaks of his brothers as being “past feeling.” Could there be an emotional and spiritual kind of leprosy?

In every account that I have read where Christ heals the leper it always says that they were "immediately" healed.
If there is an emotional equivalent to leprosy, why can't that be immediately healed???  Why does it have to take 30 to 40 years or even a life-time for some?

What kinds of things in our lives make us "past feeling?"  What numbs our ability to be conscious in our surroundings?  What corrodes our awareness of the Spirit in our lives, or dulls our sense of true identity?  I believe a big one in today's world is addiction.  Those caught in it's ugly cycle, those who have constant regular relapses or just an occasional regurgitation, it doesn't really matter; each relapse "attacks the nerves, the sensation of feeling, leaving one open for greater injury and infection."

How sad that in Christ's time, the lepers were shunned or isolated, despised and rejected.  They weren't contagious, they had self-inflicting injuries. And even though they were past feeling, I am certain they hungered all the more for closeness.

"The Little Prince" by, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry has been a favorite book of mine that I have treasured for years. There's a part in the story that illustrates the cycle of addiction perfectly.  The scene is where the innocent boy meets a drunk man (or tippler) for the first time and it "plunges the little prince into deep dejection.":

"What are you doing there?" he said to the tippler, who he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.
"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.
"Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince.
"So that I may forget," replied the tippler.
"Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.
"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.
"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.
"Ashamed of drinking!" The tippler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.  And the little prince was puzzled.

As puzzling as it is.... such is the cycle of those who struggle with addiction.  The very thing that numbs them that "kills their pain" is the very source of their pain.  How do they break free of this vexatious cycle?  How do they "bury their weapons of war" deep in the ground and never pick them up again? (Alma 24: 17-18)

All things are possible through Christ, I know this!  There is a way out of the cycle.  The little prince was discouraged because there was really nothing he could do to help this man and it puzzled him each time he saw him lift the bottle again to his lips.  "Why?  Why don't you just stop?  Why do you keep returning to this?" No doubt, the man asks himself the same question all the time and even hates himself for it.

The third step in the addiction recovery program is to "Trust in God."  I believe this step is equally as vital to those who have loved ones that struggle with addiction as it is to those who are trapped in its awful vice.  We would all do well to trust God a little more to pray and seek for strength, for wisdom beyond our own.

 “God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” — Reinhold Niebuhr

We are all agents "free to act for ourselves."  We cannot change the actions of others or make them heal.  We can love them though, love them, forgive them, keep loving them, and most of all... trust God!  I believe He has the power to heal the leper and I know he can heal our loved ones caught in addiction, completely, wholly and forever! However long and hard that road may be to full and complete healing... There is no hunger, no heartache, no sorrow, no injury, pain, or weakness that He cannot repair or make right.  I trust this.

I trust Him.

-Alicia