Loss of Words In a Place I Can't See

 I can't describe the place I am in at this time.  I've had so many unexpected and strange experiences happen to me over the last couple of years . These experiences have stirred up a host of questions in my mind. The Lord has given me glimpses of things pertaining to my life. He has opened  the windows of Heaven in miraculous ways but I don't know what it all means or how it will all come together.

I feel like I'm in the dark. It's not the kind of dark that comes from wrong doing or the influence of the adversary.   No, it's not anything like that.  I know the Lord is with me but I just can't see a thing right now and it's hard to make sense of much when you can't see.

I went to a funeral today for a wonderful friend, Lloyd Baker. He was a good man who touched the lives of so many.  He had been quoted as saying, "When I go to heaven, I'm going to find the line that says, 'If you have questions, stand here.'"

I think I'll join my friend in that line.  I have so many to ask... not doctrinal questions but directional. Was the whole purpose of these particular things just to test me?  Was it all solely given for me to prove what I would do? It's a puzzle!

 I can't help but think the Lord won't reveal or answer them until my life is over.  I am sure then, I'll finally be able to see the bigger picture.

-Alicia

I Will Rest In You - Mindy Gledhill

Lord I´m in the dark

Seems to me the line

is dead when I come calling

No one there, the sky is falling

Lord I need to know

My mind is playing games again

You´re right where you have always been

Take me back to you

The place that I once knew

As a little child

Constantly the eyes of

God watched over me

Oh, I want to be

In the place that I once knew

As a little child

Fall into the bed of faith

prepared for me

I will rest in you

I wiil rest in you

I will rest in you

Tell me I´m a fool

Tell me that you love

me for the fool I am

And comfort me

like only you can

Tell me there´s a place

Where I can feel your breath

Like sweet caresses

on my face again

Take me back to you

the place that I once knew

As a little child

Constantly the eyes of

God watched over me

Oh, I want to be

In the place that I once knew

As a little child

Fall into the bed of faith

prepared for me

I will rest in you

I will rest in you

Í will rest in you

Recovery

A couple of Sundays ago I brought my 7yr-old daughter's plant with me to church to use as an object lesson in Young Women's.  During sacrament meeting, Kaylee wanted to hold her little plant.  I set it in her lap as she smiled adoringly at her two flower sprouts growing from the seeds she had sown.  As she held it, she accidentally snapped one of the stems.  She began to cry, thinking she killed it.  Sure enough, I looked down and could see the lifeless stem dangling on a hinge.  I gave her a hug and whispered in her ear, "Honey, it's going to be alright.  I don't think it's dead.  Let's just be really gentle, keep taking care of it, and see what happens."  

I must admit that a part of me wasn't so sure it would recover and I was a little surprised when after a few days I noticed it lifting its head back towards the light of the sun.  Honestly, I have never seen a stem come alive again after being snapped like that.  I recalled the words I had whispered into Kaylee's ear, "Let's just be really gentle, keep taking care of it, and see what happens."  I thought of our brothers and sisters who have been broken by sin or addiction and how the right environment can bring them back into full recovery.

In nature, there are archetypes - symbols in our physical world that have existed since the creation, symbols that testify of that which God has ordained.  Earth is an archetype of man, water is an archetype of woman, but there is more... 

The air is an archetype of the Holy Spirit, and the sun is an archetype of Jesus Christ.  

When I saw this little stem curving back up toward the light of the sun, I couldn't help but think of the light of our Savior, the Son of God.  I was thrilled with excitement.  I grabbed the camera and took a picture. 

I thought of the addiction recovery program.  They've just launched some powerful new videos with real stories of people going through each of the 12 steps.  Last night, my husband and I watched these videos together.  I wrapped my arms around my husband as we listened to story after story of people going to their bishop for help.  Joseph sighed gratefully with a tear in his eye, "Those dear bishops, they have to carry so much."  I smiled as I thought of ours - We both love and pray for him.  These men are called of God, they tirelessly watch over and care for their flock.  Through their inspiration and the addiction recovery program, countless souls are saved.  These are messages of hope, kindness, forgiveness, love, and ultimately of recovery through Jesus Christ.  It's a beautiful thing.

-Alicia

(Broken Things to Mend - April 2006 -  Elder Jeffrey R. Holland)

one week of recovery

10 days of recovery

2 weeks of recovery

6 weeks of recovery and growing stronger than ever


Come Unto Him 

He came to us; he loved us that much.
There isn’t a soul he’s unwilling to touch;
No life so dark he cannot light;
No sadness, no sorrow he cannot right.
Come unto him.

He came to earth; he lived as a man.
There’s no earthly care he can’t understand;
No earthly pain he did not feel;
No hunger, no heartache he cannot heal.
Come unto him.

He lived like us, acquainted with grief.
To those who believe he offers relief.
He opens eyes; he forgives sin;
For the humble, the faithful, who follow him.
Come unto him.

(Text:  Steven Jones  - Music:  Sam Cardon)

The Vain Things of This World

A young women shared on Facebook the other day that she had just finished writing in her eighth journal.  It inspired me to be more diligent with my own writing. I wish with all my heart that I could say I recorded as much as she did when I was in high school.  (Honestly though, the stuff I wrote at that age is pretty embarrassing to say the least... so maybe it's for the better.) ;)

After I was married, I kept more of a consistent record.   The other night out of curiosity, I pulled a couple of my old journals off the shelf and spent an hour reading.  I feel grateful for what I have written but still wish I had recorded more .  While flipping through the pages, I stumbled across this entry about a dream I had in July of 2009.  It caught my eye because I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately and how they work in our lives.  I've only had a handful of them through the years that have left a deep enough impression on me to capture them with my journal or retell them.  I'm so thankful I wrote this one down because I forgot all about it.

I've been thinking about the interpretation of this one all day.  I believe there's a powerful lesson to be learned from it and I take it like a warning to me as a daughter of Zion, just as the scripture found in Isaiah 3:16-24 proclaims.

...........

7-13-2009
I had a strange dream last night.  I was looking around at a yard sale and found a old-fashioned vanity.  It was slightly taller than me, with cabinet doors that opened to a large mirror on the inside.  Make-up and perfume stacked in painted fancy bottles were arranged on the shelves and in the drawers. I gazed into the mirror at my reflection and to my horror watched it begin to age very rapidly and then crumble to dust.  I turned away in disbelief, shaking my head at what I just saw.  I looked back at my appearance in the mirror just to be certain I didn't imagine it.  Again the horrible reflection aged within seconds and then crumbled to dust.  "What is going on?!  I thought, "This vanity is evil!"  

There were other women at the yard sale.  I ran to some of them and asked if they would come and look at this and tell me if they saw the same thing.  The small crowd of women gathered around as I opened the cabinet doors to show them the mirror inside.  Sure enough, as I looked at my reflection, it crumbled again from rapid aging into dust.  
"Did you see that?! Did you see what happened to my reflection?!"  I said, pointing to the glass. 
The women standing around me answered, "No, we didn't see anything strange." They all agreed with each other, "Yeah, nothing happened, it was just a normal reflection."  
They all walked away irritated and gossiped among themselves that there was something wrong with me.  I stood there alone by the vanity and found a looking glass faced-down on the table among the perfume and bottles.  I wondered as I picked it up if it would do the same thing.  When I turned it toward me, I witnessed my image decay again.  Disgusted and utterly terrified, I threw the looking glass down on the ground like it was some sort of poisonous spider, "It's pure evil!!" I shouted.  I awoke in a panic until I realized I had only been dreaming.  I took a deep breath and tried to get back to sleep but couldn't help but think of all that happened.  I thought to myself that there must be a moral to learn from it.

As I lay there pondering, I remembered some counsel in my patriarchal blessing; 

"Now when you leave this life, you leave the vain things of this world, Alicia.  But there are many things that you won't leave - you'll take them with you and they'll become your eternal possession.  It's like storing up your treasures in heaven where moth nor rust doth decay.  You'll take all of the personality. You'll take all of the truth.  You'll take all of the knowledge.  You'll take all of the character. You'll take all of the virtue and the understanding of these sacred things and your sacred relationship with God and His Son, Jesus Christ."  

I thought about the words "leave the vain things of this world".  Vain means "hollow, pointless, no purpose."  It's interesting that it was a "vanity" in my dream.

...........

Reading this entry reminded me of a fireside I attended in college at the Salt Lake Tabernacle.  I can't remember who spoke but I remember them saying that our physical appearance, no matter who we are will reach a peak and then go downhill.  There is no investment of time or money, wardrobes, makeovers, fashion consultants, work out routines or diet, that will stop our physical bodies from deteriorating.  Yes, some things may slow the process down but eventually we will all turn to dust.  On the other hand, our spirit, the substance of who we really are doesn't have a limit of beauty.  There's no peak that it reaches before it begins to drop out.  Our soul will never grow old and actually has the potential to grow more beautiful and bright with every passing day, long after this life is over and into eternity.  It cannot be faked or worn as a mask.  It has nothing to do with appearances or the outward show.  It's all about the sincere focus of the heart.

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:  But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:  For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light." - Matthew 6:19-22

I pray the Lord will help me recognize when I am getting caught up in the vain things of this world and save me from myself.  I pray I will learn to focus more on those things that matter most and lay up treasures in heaven.

-Alicia

The View From Here :)

I love the little apartment where I live!  I've loved it since the first time I set foot in it - It felt like home to me.  It's funny because never in my wildest imagination did I think I would say something like that about a run-down place like this, especially in my late 30's married for nearly 16 yrs and having four children.  I imagined at this time in my life I'd be living in a nice little cozy house with a fenced back-yard, a large front porch just like my grandma used to have, a tire swing hanging from a tree, and a huge garden full of fresh vegetables.  

So what is it that I love about our little place if there is none of this?  It's the location.  

I have my very best friend who lives a block and a half up the street from me, I have the perfect place for skate parties and BBQ's with all my neighbors in the south parking lot, there are events, concerts, and celebrations within walking distance from my doorstep, and so much more. 

Also, from the inside of my apartment I have the perfect view of three things: Timp, the Y, and the Angel Moroni. -  

All of the north widows of my little apartment frame in Mt. Timpanogos perfectly: I will never forget the first time I hiked to the summit of that mountain.  Out our east window I can see the Y:  The first six-and-a-half years of living here in Provo, I'd stare out that window in a dream and wonder when my chance for attending BYU would come.  It came sooner than I thought and I'm living that dream now.  From the view of my kitchen window, I can see the Angel Moroni:  He stands with regal splendor upon the spire of a building that testifies of redemption, renewal, resurrection, and second chances. The view of these three things serve as symbols to me of my past, present, and future.  

Yesterday morning, I hiked the Y with my dear friend, Suzanne.  From the view up there we could see four temples in this gorgeous valley.  Four temples!!  Payson, City Center, Provo, and Timponogos. How richly blessed we are!  Last night in my prayers, I thanked my Father in Heaven for giving me such a wonderful life.  I have a great relationship with my husband, we love each other and enjoy the simplicity of being together.  We have four of the coolest kids who ever walked the face of this earth.  We live in the best ward and have the finest leaders.  We are surrounded by amazing family and friends who we love dearly and they love us, and we have this Gospel, the True Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I couldn't be happier.  God is good, so very very good.  The view from here is sweet.  This is my home!!

-Alicia

Holding on to Peter Pan

Yesterday, I watched my 10-year-old son, Micah, with amusement as he played music from Pirates of the Caribbean and decked himself out with scraps of clothing to resemble official pirate garb.  He constructed his ship by gathering chairs from the kitchen into the living room and carefully assembled them so all the backs were facing outward and the seats combined made a solid bed.  His treasure maps were made from the sides of brown paper bags crumpled several times over to make them look aged.   A rope tied around a 10 lb exercise dumbbell dragging over the side became the perfect anchor.  He proudly climbed into his ship as if he were to set sail and then stopped himself, quickly running to the computer to change the music.  "What are you looking up?" I asked him.  "You'll see," he said.  I couldn't stay to watch because I had to run my daughter, Miriam, to the school she attends once a week.

I wasn't gone long and returned to find Micah still playing.  Now, the living room was full of the sound of "relaxing ocean waves." (Apparently there's a YouTube video that plays this for ten straight hours. Who knew?) On the computer screen was a photograph of a distant island floating at sea.  Micah was perched at the edge of the chairs like a captain at the helm and surveyed the tiny island carefully with his periscope.  Kaylee sat "in the ship" proud to be along for the adventure. A bandanna was loosely tied around her head, making her the prettiest pirate I've ever seen.  The magic of it all had captured her too.

Their imaginations filled me with a longing to be a child again.  Marveling at the enchanted pirate world Micah had created, I thought of Peter Pan and smiled.  My heart prayed for my kids, "I hope you never grow up and never lose your sense of wonder."

I regret that I didn't capture this moment with pictures but I guess it's alright because I'm capturing it now with words.

However, a few days earlier Micah made a flying machine and I did get some pictures and videos of that.  :)

-Alicia

I Cannot Deny It

I'm back to the beginning and reading the Book of Mormon over again.  I love the testimony of Joseph Smith and the other witnesses at the preface.  One testimony that has been given but not found in these pages is that of Emma Smith, the wife of the prophet Joseph.  For a short period she assisted him in the translation. In her own words she describes how miraculous the translation of the Book of Mormon was.

“Although the Prophet would polish his skills over the years, Emma acknowledged that Joseph possessed only rudimentary literacy at the time he translated the gold plates:

“‘Joseph Smith … could neither write nor dictate a coherent and well-worded letter; let alone dictating a book like the Book of Mormon. And, though I was an active participant in the scenes that transpired, it is marvelous to me, “a marvel and a wonder,” as much so as to any one else.’ (Ibid)” (“A Treasured Testament,” Ensign, July 1993, 62–63).

It is nothing short of a miracle that Joseph Smith translated this powerful book!  I love what President Hugh B. Brown says in his dissertation "The Profile of a Prophet."

"I believe the Prophet Joseph Smith was a prophet because he did many superhuman things. One was translating the Book of Mormon. Some people will not agree, but I submit to you that the Prophet Joseph Smith in translating the Book of Mormon did a superhuman work. I ask you students to undertake to write a story on the ancient inhabitants of America, to write as he did without any source of material. Include in your story 54 chapters dealing with wars, 21 historical chapters, and 55 chapters on visions and prophecies. And, remember, when you begin to write on visions and prophecies, you must have your record agree meticulously with the Bible. You must write 71 chapters on doctrine and exhortation, and here, too, you must check every statement with the scriptures or you will be proven to be a fraud. You must write 21 chapters on the ministry of Christ, and everything you claim He said and did and every testimony you write in your book about Him must agree absolutely with the New Testament.

I ask you, would you like to undertake such a task? I would suggest to you too that you must employ figures of speech, similes, metaphors, narrations, exposition, description, oratory, epic, lyric, logic, and parables. Undertake that, will you?

I ask you to remember that the man who translated the Book of Mormon was a young man who hadn’t had the opportunity of schooling that you have had, and yet he dictated that book in just a little over two months and made very few, if any, corrections. For over one hundred years some of the best students and scholars of the world have been trying to prove from the Bible that the Book of Mormon is false, but not one of them has been able to prove that anything he wrote was not in strict harmony with the scriptures—with the Bible and with the word of God."- Hugh B. Brown

I have read and studied the Book of Mormon many times.  I know it is true!  I know Joseph Smith was a prophet called of God!  There are so many who struggle to believe though.  Joseph himself said: “I don’t blame anyone for not believing my history. If I had not experienced what I have, I would not have believed it myself."

Why is it that we are so skeptical of visions and revelation from heaven?  Perhaps because there are many stories where we hear of people who have been deceived.  

And how does a person know they are not being decieved?  I know that it's possible for me to be and that is why as far as communion with heaven, I may struggle with my own personal revelations regarding my own life and shake my head in disbelief. From time to time, I'll doubt if I have been led by the spirit or not...  
But even in all that I lack as far as gifts of the spirit, there is one thing I know I have not been decieved in and that is my testimony of this Gospel. I will never doubt the visions and dreams of Joseph Smith.  I know he was worthy, that he was divinely appointed to restore these things in this dispensation. I will never doubt the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, the reality of living prophets on the earth,  that God has spoken and continues to speak to us, and that prayers are heard and answered.  

Some of my favorite words found in Joseph Smith's History are these from the prophet:

"I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation." Joseph Smith--History 1:25

What a blessing a treasure is found in this wonderful Gospel!  It is priceless and it all started with a book, The Book of Mormon. Ever since I read it for the first time through and all the many times after, I have felt its light in my life.  I know it's true and I know Joseph Smith was called of God. I know we have living prophets today with authority to speak in Christ's name and I cannot deny it!

-Alicia

The Gift of Charity

The three-part series of books Elder David A. Bednar has written, all come with an interactive CD with segments corresponding to each chapter.  Being out of school for a semester, I'm able to dive back into this study and it's been so great!  This morning as I was listening to some of these segments and I was particularly struck by this discussion Elder Bednar had with a woman in the audience.  

Woman:    In your book, “Act in Doctrine”, you talk about that ultimately the gift of Charity posses us – we don’t posses it.  How do we know if Charity is possessing us?

Elder Bednar:    You’ll have to listen carefully to this answer –ok.  It will strike a little abruptly - given  the nature of your question.  
I really believe that the more we have [charity], the more we quit wondering if we have it...  We get in a mode of  “I want to get this” and I would suggest that the very mode of “I want to get this” gets in the way of us getting it... It's a turn to the Savior because we’re trying to get this but there’s a little bit of looking back.  A spiritual gift like Charity is when it’s about blessing somebody else, it’s not about us being able to say “yeah, I got this”… the more we get out of the way, the more it can be brought to us.

I believe what Elder Bednar is teaching here is the same concept C.S. Lewis illustrates about humility when the Satan figure in his book, Uncle Screwtape, is teaching his nephew, Wormwood, how to destroy a Christian;

"Your patient has become humble; have you drawn his attention to the fact? All virtues are less formidable to us once the man is aware that he has them, but this is especially true of humility. Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, 'By jove! I’m being humble', and almost immediately pride—pride at his own humility—will appear. If he awakes to the danger and tries to smother this new form of pride, make him proud of his attempt—and so on, through as many stages as you please"

The Lord wants us to seek after the gift of Charity, in fact we are commanded to "pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that we may be filled with this love" (Moroni 7:48)  But in order for it to be bestowed, our "eye must be single to the glory of God" and it must not be exploited to get personal gain, to "look good, or appear good" or to glorify ourselves in any way.  Our hearts must be sincere and our motives must be pure.  

"True meekness has a metabolism that actually requires very little praise or recognition—of which there is usually such a shortage anyway. Most of the time, the sponge of selfishness quickly soaks up everything in sight, including praise intended for others." - Elder Neal A. Maxwell

I think the same can be said about true charity.

Elder Maxwell warns, "Be careful of the natural man’s milder expressions—craving for credit and rustling for recognition. Alas, so often the hearts and even the moral agency of others can be crushed in the search for self-glorification."

C. S. Lewis explained this teaching of the Savior: “The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first—wanting to be the centre—wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan"

President Gordon B. Hinckley would say, “He who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgets himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this life and in eternity.”

This is what I want to learn - to forget mySELF, but I must remember “that the very mode of ‘I want to get this’ gets in the way of [me] getting it…. A spiritual gift like Charity is when it’s about blessing somebody else" The whole entire idea of "self" must be taken out of the equation.

I think a great talk to go with these thoughts I've had today was given in April 2009 by Dallin H. Oaks - "Unselfish Service"  I'm so thankful for the wisdom and counsel of these wise men who have been called of God to help keep me in the right way.  I need their guidance.  

-Alicia

Just Another Way to Die

This is a quote my husband and I heard at Education Week a few days ago.  I think it goes just perfect with my little axiom, "There are a million ways to die but there's only one true way to live."

C.S. Lewis basically says the same thing but with even more clarity.  Things are unraveling at rapid speeds and it is essential that we get our houses, our lives, our relationships, and our faith in order. The important thing in this day of tribulation and trouble is not how we die but how we are found living our lives.  I love this!

"In one way we think a great deal too much of the atomic bomb. 'How are we to live in an atomic age?' I am tempted to reply: 'Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents."

In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented: and quite a high percentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one very great advantage over our ancestors - anaesthetics; but we have that still. It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty.

This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things - praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts - not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds." - C.S. Lewis

Taking Out the Trash

One of our guiding principles of schooling our children from home is to "educate the whole child." Our hope is that during their elementary and middle school years we can create within our kids a strong understanding of who they are and who they can become - so that by the time they reach high school and enter the public system, they are more solid among their peers and not "tossed about by every wind of doctrine." We want them to know that their identity is centered in the divine nature of their soul and not in academia or popularity.  

Tonight, my husband and I discussed a couple of principles that we feel will help them more holistically.  But before we had this discussion, let me rewind to this afternoon:

While I was looking through old photo albums with my daughter, I had an interesting experience... flashbacks began to stir up more than memories for me and it wasn’t pretty. Now, I love looking at old pictures of family but I was surprised that as I viewed ones with me, insecure voices from the past began to creep in, mean voices.  I began to focus on every ugly flaw and I was beginning to feel really depressed about myself.  "That's crap." I thought, "How do I get this garbage out of my head? Where is this coming from?" I knew these thoughts well.  They were the old lies I had heard a million times growing up.

Later, after our kids went to bed, my husband and I discussed what we could do to strengthen our children.  I thought of my experience with the photo album and said, "You know what?... If I could go back in time and visit myself as a child, I'd teach her how to take out the trash and treasure the truth.  I had a horrible habit of tearing myself down when I was young and it still occasionally haunts me today."

"I like that idea," he said "let's expound upon it."

"Well, I'd like to see our kids learn to take out the trash in all aspects of their lives: physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally."

"Great!" my husband agreed.  "How would this look?"

We began to list some ideas for each one and this is what we came up with:

"Taking Out the Trash"

• Physically - throw away clutter in their rooms and avoiding too much junk food in their diet 
• Mentally - toss out movies, music, pictures, books, and media that is filthy or corrodes
• Emotionally - get rid of negative self-talk, comparing themselves to others, anxiety - fear, cynicism, and gossip the minute it begins to emerge
• Spiritually - toss out anything that drives away the Holy Ghost or limits the channels of revelation

"Treasuring the Truth"

• Physically - holding on to things that have lasting value, that are meaningful and useful.  making a habit of eating that will benefit the body and help it stay strong
• Mentally - "Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom" (D&C 88:118) Seek to watch, view, read, and listen to that which will inspire them to be their best selves. Educate their minds.
• Emotionally - speak positively of themselves with a Godly confidence and focus on the good in others, practice showing and expressing gratitude
• Spiritually - actively invite and seek to be around and involved in things that bring a greater measure of the Spirit- especially personal prayer, scripture study, and words of the living prophets

We feel like we’ve constructed a productive plan and are excited to introduce it to our children.  We even found an old Mormonad that is perfect for our education initiative.  We’re going to make some copies of this and place one on each door to serve as a reminder.  Hopefully, we can all do a little better at “taking out the trash” and “treasuring the truth” especially me.  

-Alicia

Light Cleaveth Unto Light

What a wonderful First Presidency Message this month!  I honestly believe that in these last days we are witnessing and will continue to witness some amazing miracles.  It is a beautiful, beautiful time to be alive.  Yes, we live in a day where the world has never been more dark... but the darker the night - the brighter the stars.  A great gathering is taking place, a gathering of light.  President Monson emphasizes this in this month's Ensign.  "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light."- D&C 88:40  

"You are children of light...I would like all of the youth of the Church to know that they are children of light. As such, they have a responsibility to be 'as lights in the world' (Philippians 2:15). They have a duty to share the truths of the gospel. They have a calling to stand as a temple beacon, reflecting gospel light to an increasingly dark world. They have a charge to keep their light aflame and burning brightly.

In order for us to be 'an example of the believers' (1 Timothy 4:12), we ourselves must believe. We must develop the faith necessary to survive spiritually and to project a light for others. We must nurture our testimony until it becomes an anchor to our lives.

Among the most effective ways to gain and keep the faith we need today is to read and study the scriptures and to pray frequently and consistently." - President Thomas S. Monson

I love the simplicity of what is most essential in today's darkening world.  What is most important is that we lay down a strong foundation of faith for every day through prayer, scripture study, and application.  As we do so we open the windows of heaven of revelation and we have light.  There is never any day we need to walk in darkness.

"When you are a light to the world, people around you will feel a special spirit that will make them want to associate with you and follow your example." - President Thomas S. Monson

This is the essence of the deepest beauty because it comes from the inside out.  I echo the words of Elaine S. Dalton:

"There is no more beautiful sight than a young woman [or man] who glows with the light of the Spirit, who is confident and courageous because she [or he] is virtuous." - (Remember Who You Are) - Elaine S. Dalton

-Alicia

B-egging

The other day my three younger kids all came to me complaining that they were bored and insisted that the only possible remedy for their doldrums was more "screen time."  They know how much I can't stand them spending hours watching YouTube or playing computer games. I'm very strict against it, maybe a little too strict... but I'd rather "err on the side of caution."

"Mom, we are so bored!" "Yeah, this day is dumb."
"If you're bored, why don't you try a board game?"
They didn't laugh at my attempt to be punny.  "Mom, that's lame." (I smiled at my own joke.  I like lame.)
"Maybe you could go outside and skate or ride your bikes?"
"It's too hot outside, Mom!"  "Yeah, we'll die out there."
"Well, if you are really desperate for something to do... I could give you some jobs around the house. I've got lots of them." They slouched and rolled their eyes in unison. (All the parents know how well that trick works.)
I suggested Legos, sculpting, reading... and math (I couldn't help it... that last one just slipped out.)
They were beginning to lose their patience and the tone of their voices became more elevated at me and at each other.
I opened the fridge to put some containers away and then remembered I had just boiled a bunch of eggs.  I took them out and handed them to the kids.  Here's something!  Go get my colored permanent markers and decorate these.  Smiles returned to their faces, they grabbed the eggs from me and ran off excitedly.
"Hmm, who knew?" I sighed in relief, glad I found something that interested them.  "That should hold them for a few minutes at least."
They went to work doodling faces.  Soon ideas began to flow and they had out all the pipe cleaners, hot glue, cotton balls, and googly eyes.  When I suggested decorating, I didn't expect this...  But it was perfect because they now had characters to pretend and act out stories. They giggled and laughed  for over two and a half hours as they played with their "new toys."

 I'll admit that there are times  I've "cracked" under the pressure of my kids begging and pleading for more screen time.  But this time I didn't and I'm so glad.  The results were "eggs"traordinary! ;)

-Alicia

Here's a few more pictures of my awesome creative kids...

Micah's Military Camp

Miriam's "Brain Enchant-O-Tron"

Micah's Stop Annimation

Unlocking Our True Self

Sister Patricia Holland gave a wonderful talk in 1987 called, The Soul's Center.  She tells of a very real illness that is increasingly common umong women and asks:

“What are we doing to ourselves? Is this that female curse Isaiah spoke of in his prophecies? Is this some special last days’ dilemma into which we are entering and from which we may find it near-fatally difficult to withdraw?"

She then goes on to make some very telling observations of what may be the cause of this malady.

"I believe that as women we are becoming so concerned about having perfect figures, or straight A’s, or professional status, or even absolute motherly success, that we are being torn from our true selves. We often worry so much about pleasing and performing for others that we lose our own uniqueness, that full and relaxed acceptance of ourselves as a person of worth and individuality. Too many women watch helplessly as their lives unravel from the core that centers and sustains them. Too many are like a ship at sea without sail or rudder, tossed to and fro (as the Apostle Paul said) until more and more of us are genuinely, rail-grabbingly seasick.

I believe we can find it—the steady footing and the stilling of the soul—by turning away from the fragmentation of physical preoccupations (whether it be thin or fat) of superwoman careers or endless popularity contests and returning instead to the wholeness of our soul.

[Satan] knows that to truly find ourselves we must lose ourselves, so he begins to block our increased efforts to love—to love God, our neighbor, and ourselves. True charity takes us into the beauty...self-evaluation. To see ourselves as we really are often brings pain; but true humility, which comes from that process, is a godly virtue. We must be patient with ourselves as we overcome weaknesses and remember to rejoice over all that is good in us. This will strengthen the inner woman and leave her less dependent on outward acclaim. When the soul reaches the stage that it pays less attention to praise, it then cares very little when the public disapproves. These feelings of strength and the quiet triumph of faith carry us into an even brighter sphere. 

Sister Holland gives five keys to unlocking our souls, our true selves, the Divine identity within us.  Each key opens up access to the next key and are as follows.

1st - Sincere Prayer
2nd - Scripture Study (combined with sincere prayer, provides us with revelation)
3rd - True Charity
4th- Self-Evaluation /humility (losing ourselves)
5th - Lifting the veil

As we reach through the veil
"we have our chance to meet God face-to-face. For those who, like the brother of Jared, have the courage and faith to break through the veil into that sacred center of existence, we will find the brightness of the final box brighter than the noonday sun. There we will find peace and serenity and a stillness that will anchor our soul forever, for there we will find God.

Wholeness. Holiness. That is what it says over the entrance to the fifth box. Holiness to the Lord. 'Know ye not that ye are the temple of God?' (1 Corinthians 3:16). I testify that you are holy, that just by being born, divinity is abiding within you, waiting to be uncovered—to be reborn. God bless you in your search for the sacred center of your soul" 

(The Soul's Center by, Patricia Holland- BYU Devotional 1987)

I love this talk.  Sister Holland nails it!  She understands what it means to have a soul centered on Christ.  It is here in this simple uncomplicated pattern of keys that frees us from the need to be noticed or the race to be recognized.  Women who follow this course know and understand their true identity.  They are settled and at peace even in the middle of the storms surrounding them.  These are women who truly trust in God's love, His grace, His commandments, and His covenants.  Their lives become less of a "balancing act" because there is only One they need to please and He is at the center of their heart.

-Alicia